Yes, this story is meant to be stupid.

No offense to anyone who writes these types of stories. This is just how I see them because they're pretty much the same thing every time.

Hi. I'm Percy Jackson. Savior of Olympus twice, son of Poseidon, and best of all, boyfriend of the smart and beautiful Annabeth Chase. Now... here's a story about my wonderful life and how things got... weird.

10 YEARS EARLIER

"Guys, there's a new camper and he's being attacked by the Minotaur! He needs help!" Piper yelled.

I ran up Half-Blood Hill to find a boy about my age running away from the Minotaur screaming, "HELP!"

I uncapped Riptide and fought the Minotaur, heroically killing it, but for some reason, everyone glared at me. "Percy, that kid was being attacked and you just left him to die!"

"But I killed it!"

The boy smiled smugly. "No, I'm pretty sure you hid the entire time."

"Whatever," I said.

Over the few weeks, everyone began paying attention to the new camper, whose name was Michael. Somehow, he was a Son of Poseidon who had survived for seventeen years on his own.

Some time later, my dad came to camp.

"Sorry, Percy, but I have to disown you for no apparent reason."

"But dad. Why?"

"Michael is better in every way than you, even though you've killed monsters more times than he's brushed his teeth."

"No!" I screamed and lay down in my bed and cried.

One day I was conveniently carrying the ring I was gonna propose to Annabeth, my girlfriend with, even though I was only seventeen. I noticed two people making out on the beach. One was Michael. The other was... Annabeth.

"Oh Michael, Percy's a loser, and I love you and not Percy at all!" she said, and somehow I heard her even though I was at least fifty feet away from the beach.

I was angry. "Here, why don't you propose to her!" I threw the ring at Michael.

Annabeth gasped. "It's not what it looks like, Percy!"

I nearly laughed out loud. Of course, I mean, Annabeth telling Michael how dumb I am is not what it looks like at all.

I ran away from Camp Half-Blood, and ran into Chaos who for some reason was strolling down the streets of New York in human form.

"Hello Percy Jackson! I heard your heart was broken, so do you want to join my army?" Chaos asked me.

"How did you know my heart was broken?" I asked Chaos.

"Erm... lucky guess?"

"Whatever, I accept."

"Great, you are now immortal."

20 MINUTES LATER

"Alright, Percy," the lieutenant of Chaos told me. "We need to give you a new name. Now, here I have a dart, and I need you to throw it at the spinning dart board so we can pick your new name!"

"Why do I need a new name?" I asked.

"Well, here in the army of Chaos, we believe that you can't fully become a soldier unless you give up your earthly name! So we give you a name that has nothing to do with your identity or personality!"

"Ok, cool," I replied. I picked up the dart and threw it at the spinning dart board. It landed on "Corndog."

"Congratulations, Percy, your new name is Private Corndog!

9 YEARS, 364 DAYS, 23 HOURS, AND 40 MINUTES LATER (9 EARTH DAYS)

"Okay soldiers, earth is under attack. Commander Corndog, you must assist Camp Half-Blood because an army of monsters is going to attack it for no reason. Take Colonel Christmas Tree and Lieutenant Library with you," Chaos said.

"But I don't want to go back to earth! I have bad memories there! Can't you just pick someone else?"

"LIFE SUCKS, COMMANDER CORNDOG! GROW A PAIR AND GET OVER IT!"

"Yes sir!" I said.

1 HOUR LATER

"Here we are boys. Camp Half-Blood."

We strolled in to find everyone weeping. "What did that Michael boy do to us? We lost Percy forever!" Piper yelled.

"Annabeth won't even come out of her cabin!" Jason exclaimed.

"Where is Michael, anyway?" Travis asked.

"Oh, he must have disappeared for no reason except the sake of the story."

"Got it."

"Hello! I am Commander Corndog!" I said. "This is Colonel Christmas Tree and Lieutenant Library! We are going to kill some monsters for you!"

Annabeth conveniently chose that moment to walk out of her cabin. Her hair was disheveled, her eyes were red and puffy, and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. "You look a lot like Percy Jackson, the boy who disappeared a few days ago. What's your name?" She asked me.

"My name is-"

"Shut up, we both know it's not Corndog."

"I will not tell you my real name. Look out! Monsters are attacking!" I yelled as monsters began to somehow cross the borders into Camp Half-Blood.

We fought together, and defeated the army of monsters.

"Haha! I know who you are now! You're Percy Jackson! I saw you use Riptide!" Annabeth said.

"What? No... erm no... what makes you think that?"

"Percy, I'm sorry! Please forgive me!"

"Okay fine Annabeth, I forgive you even though you broke my heart beyond repair."

"Thank you!" We kissed and everyone lived happily ever after.