The Secret Life of Brian
by LDEJRuff
Author's Note: On Saturday, July 20, 2013, during the Family Guy panel at the Comic-Con convention, Steve Callaghan dropped a bombshell; that a member in the Griffin family would be killed off in a special episode. On Sunday, November 24, 2013, that family member was the family dog, Brian, in the sixth episode of the show's twelfth season, "Life of Brian". A lot of fans were heartbroken when this unthinkable event happened. But what if Brian hadn't died at all? Well, this fanfic would explain...
Chapter 1 - A Call From Dylan
It all started on the day Stewie and Brian returned from their Jamestown incident. Brian was in the living room watching TV when he noticed Stewie coming down the stairs.
"Hey, where are you going?" Brian asked.
Stewie answered, "I'm going to the hardware store to pick up a few things. There's something I have to do tonight."
"You need me to take you there?" Brian asked.
"No, thank you," Stewie answered. "I can go there myself."
"How?"
"With this," Stewie replied, revealing a teleportation watch he built. "I can get there instantly using this teleporter watch."
"Oh," Brian simply said. "Well, be careful."
After Brian had finished, Stewie activated the watch and disappeared in a flash.
Suddenly, Brian's cell phone started vibrating. Brian picked it up and was surprised to see who was calling.
"Dylan?"
Brian tapped the answer button and pressed the phone to his ear.
"Hey, Dylan," Brian began. "What's up?"
"Hey, Dad," Dylan replied on the other line, rather sounding depressed. "It's been a while since we saw each other. I'm afraid I have some depressing news. It's Mom. She disappeared."
Brian's eyes widened. "Disappeared?" Brian repeated. "But how?"
"She just left home one day to go shopping, but she hasn't returned. I fear that she might have been attacked and killed, or she could be missing. Not even the police could find her."
"So, she's pretty much lost?"
"Yeah. And I can't go to work without a parent or guardian driving me there."
"Work?"
"I got a job as a TV star for Disney Channel. They're doing a show called Parent Boppers, and I'm a star of the show."
Brian sighed. "I'll be there, Dylan."
"Thanks, Dad," Dylan said, happily. "You won't regret this. See you soon."
After Dylan hung up, Brian's expression changed to that of worry.
"I can't believe it," he said. "Tracy disappeared? Oh, what am I gonna do? What should I tell the Griffins?"
Cutaway: We see the entire family in the living room. The human family members wore shocked expressions while Brian was carrying a suitcase.
"You're leaving to take care of Dylan?" Peter said.
"But Brian, you can't leave," Lois shrugged. "You're our family dog."
"I know," Brian replied. "But Dylan needs me a lot more than any of you do."
"What are we going to do without you Brian?" Chris asked.
"Well," Brian answered, "the least you could do is find a new family dog."
"A new family dog?" Stewie repeated. "I don't know if that's such a good idea. Remember New Brian? He committed suicide."
"Trust me, it's for the best," Brian assured.
Back to reality. Brian shook his head.
"No, it's too easy," he said. "Wait, I know."
Suddenly, an idea popped into his head.
Author's Note: Part of this cutaway is a callback to FG0705 - "The Man with Two Brians".
