Disclaimer: I'm not sure why everyone puts in a disclaimer but I guess I should too. Obviously I don't own the Mentalist and I'm not a writer. Just a fan with a too-vivid imagination.

Summary: Jane & Lisbon get locked in a wine cellar and things heat up after they have a bit too much to drink (well the alternative is dying of thirst or hypothermia so who could blame them). Not much of a plot, pretty pointless fluff really but if that's what you're looking for then I hope you enjoy it.

THE (RED) WINE CELLAR

Moonlight illuminated the opulent hallway. A dark figure crept furtively past a marble-topped table. Agent Lisbon held her gun out in front of her as she silently approached the only lit room in the huge house. The scene of a murder investigation, the house was supposed to be empty and sealed. But there were sounds of rustling and rummaging coming from the study and a crack of light showed under the panelled oak door. She paused, took a breath, and then slammed the door open.

"CBI, don't move!"

The occupant of the room froze mid-rummage but then saw who it was and gave her a innocent smile. "Oh, hi Lisbon."

"Jane! What the hell are you doing?" Lisbon was both relieved and annoyed.

"I'm just looking through the victim's stuff. I'm sure there's something very important in here," he said thoughtfully, gesturing at the cherry wood filing cabinets. "Can you stop pointing that gun at me, please?"

Lisbon sighed and put her gun back in the holster.

"I told you forensics were coming here in the morning. Couldn't it wait until then?"

"Mmm? No, I don't think so." Jane poked around in some drawers in the large, leather-topped desk. He had his shirt-sleeves rolled up and was obviously engrossed in the task.

"Damn it Jane, why didn't you ask me first? You just disappear without telling anyone where you're going, putting yourself and risk and the investigation too… Jane, are you listening to me?" Lisbon snapped.

The blond consultant held up one hand to placate her. "Hush for a minute, I found something."

Lisbon pursed her lips angrily but curiosity got the better of her. She joined him behind the desk. "What is it?"

"A hidden compartment behind this drawer." Jane squeezed under the desk and explored the underside, frowning slightly in concentration. There was a click, the sound of metal scraping wood, and then he smiled brilliantly.

"A key," Jane declared triumphantly. He stood up and handed it to Lisbon, then brushed down his rumpled waistcoat.

Her irritation forgotten, Lisbon examined the small metal key. "What do you think it opens?"

Jane shrugged. "A safety deposit box maybe, or locker? Maybe the victim's business partner knows something about it."

"You're right, I do know something about that." A deep voice came from the doorway. Jane and Lisbon jumped, immediately noticing the man was pointing a gun at them.

"Don't make any stupid moves, keep your hands where I can see 'em." He said gruffly.

Lisbon had started to reach for her gun but then thought the better of it. The murder victim's business partner was tall and broad-shouldered; middle-aged but good looking. He had seemed helpful enough during the interviews but she didn't like the look in his eyes now. Jane immediately put his hands up in the air and watched Lisbon helplessly.

"Mr Bennett" she said calmly. "Don't do anything you'll regret. If you shoot a state agent you'll go to prison for a very long time."

"I just want the key. Give it to Nancy and you won't be harmed."

A brunette woman appeared from behind him, also carrying a gun. She approached Lisbon and held out her hand for the key, her face expressionless.

"Mrs Douglas?" Lisbon asked in surprise.

"I told you she was having an affair" Jane whispered. Lisbon had scolded him earlier for speculating about the widow.

"Shut up!" snapped Nancy, pointing the gun at Jane instead. Her voice was high pitched, with a hint of hysteria. Jane clamped his mouth shut and kept his hands up.

"The key," repeated Bennett. Lisbon silently handed the key to Mrs Douglas, who put it in her Gucci handbag. "Thank you. And your gun, keys and phone as well. And your friend's phone and keys. Very good. Now handcuff yourself to your friend there."

Lisbon stared at Bennett and Mrs Douglas in confusion, wondering what they intended.

"Do it!" Bennett bellowed, waving the gun in her face. Lisbon fumbled with the handcuffs but managed to remove them from her belt. She placed one cuff around Jane's left wrist and other on her own right arm.

Divested of their possessions and handcuffed together, Jane and Lisbon were helpless as Bennett directed them to walk out of the office and down the hall to a large, old-fashioned kitchen. He opened a heavy wooden door which apparently led down to a wine cellar.

"You'll be safe in there," Bennett said smugly.

"But George, what if someone hears them?" Nancy said nervously.

"No-one will hear them. These walls are very solid. No-one will find them until at least tomorrow and we'll be long gone by then," Bennett reassured her. He hurried Jane and Lisbon through the door with a forceful shove.

"Now, Mr Jane, where did you park your car?" Bennett demanded.

"Just around the corner" Jane replied dejectedly. "You won't damage her, will you?"

"No, I'll just move your cars to a motel to confuse your colleagues. Perhaps they'll think you're having an affair."

"Clever," Jane admitted thoughtfully.

Lisbon was outraged but she knew better than to provoke the man with the gun. Her team would find them soon enough and then they would catch Bennett and Douglas wherever they went.

The cellar door slammed shut and they heard the scraping sound of it being bolted from the other side. Jane and Lisbon were left alone on the concrete steps in pitch darkness. The light switch was on the outside of the cellar, so not much use to them. Lisbon felt around in her pockets with her free hand and found a small flashlight.

Lisbon illuminated the steps with the flashlight so they could get down safely.

"This is NOT how I planned to spend my Friday evening," she hissed at Jane, yanking on the handcuff.

"Oh, I'm sorry Lisbon. Did you have a hot date planned?"

"Maybe."

"Liar."

"All right, I had no plans. But that doesn't mean I want to spend it locked in a cold damp cellar with you!"

Lisbon shone the torch around and examined the small cellar. The walls and floor were rough red brick. There were racks of wine against one wall and several wooden crates lying around. It was dusty too, and cobwebs dangled in the corners. She was only wearing a thin jacket and already felt uncomfortably chilled.

"Sit down a moment, and I'll see about getting these handcuffs off." Jane sounded subdued and Lisbon immediately regretted her heated words. They sat down on a step and Lisbon shone the torch between them. Jane search his pockets for a minute and then pulled out a small metal probe. He started working on the lock on his handcuff.

"Trust you to always carry a lock-pick," Lisbon observed dryly. "Are you sure you weren't a cat burglar in your younger days?"

"Of course not, Lisbon. Stealing is hard work. It's much easier to persuade people to give me what I want."

With the small torch pointing downwards, Jane's face was concealed by the shadows. Lisbon could only see the faint outline of his jaw and forehead. But she suspected he was smiling again. With an audible click the cuff sprang open. Lisbon was impressed with the speed at which he'd picked the lock, although that didn't mean she condoned him practicing the skill. He took her hand gently and got to work on freeing her as well.

When the handcuff came off Jane didn't release Lisbon's hand immediately.

"You're cold," he said, trying to warm her hand with his own.

Lisbon pulled her hand free. "Why don't you see if you can get the door open as well?"

Jane examined the heavy wooden door with the torch but could only confirm that it was bolted from the outside. There was no lock to pick from the inside.

"Let me have a go," Lisbon said impatiently, handing him the torch. She took a deep breath, ran up the steps, and rammed what should have been the weakest part of the door with her shoulder. But the oak door was rock-solid. She rebounded and lost her balance on the steps. Jane tried to catch her but she had too much momentum and they both fell heavily to the floor. The torch went flying and turned off, leaving them in pitch black darkness.

Lisbon found herself lying on his chest.

"Jane…are you ok?" She groped around, trying to find a pulse or some sign that he was breathing. "Patrick, say something damn it!"

"…ow.." Jane gasped, apparently winded.

"Don't move, you might have broken something."

Lisbon gently felt the back of his head. His curly hair was soft to touch and there were no sticky patches of blood, a good sign. Next she probed his neck. Lisbon wasn't sure what a broken neck felt like, but assumed it would feel crooked or something. Jane's neck felt normal. She moved down to his chest and checked for broken ribs or collar bone.

"Really Lisbon, I'm fine. But if you want to keep petting me, go ahead."

Lisbon snatched her hands back in exasperation. "Fine, next time I won't bother trying to help."

"Next time you bowl me over, you mean?"

"We should find that torch." Lisbon curtly changed the subject. She crawled around the floor on her hands and knees searching for the small plastic cylinder. Jane got up and started searching too. They bumped into each other a few times but eventually Jane found the torch in a corner and turned it back on.

"I guess we're going to be here a while," Lisbon said glumly.

Jane rummaged around in the boxes and pulled out some old potato sacks which he spread on the floor against one wall. "Better than sitting on cold stone" he explained. Then he found a pile of old movers blankets, the sort that people used to protect furniture while in transit. They were dusty and stiff but still useful. He lay them out on the floor and then sat down.

"Well, are you going to join me or stand there all night?" Jane said to Lisbon, who was still glaring at the door. She sighed and sat down beside him.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither one able to think of something to say. Lisbon turned the torch off to save the battery. The darkness was cold and clammy. She hugged her knees and gave an involuntary shiver.

"Are you still cold? We should stay close to share body heat" Jane said, sounding concerned.

"No, I'm fine" Lisbon snapped.

"Don't try to be tough, Lisbon. You can't keep hypothermia away by force of will." He moved closer, pulled a blanket over their legs and put his arm around her shoulders. Lisbon stiffened at his touch but then realised Jane was just being helpful and she relaxed into him. It was a bit warmer this way, she admitted to herself.

"What do you think the key was for?" Lisbon asked, her mind back on the case.

"Oh, something worth a large amount of money probably. My guess is that the Mr and Mrs Douglas had a pre-nup with an infidelity clause. He found out about the affair between Bennett and his wife and would have divorced her and left her with nothing. So they killed him, took his money and are probably on their way to Mexico by now. "

Lisbon was annoyed by the fact that the murderers were escaping and she couldn't do anything about it. "Why does it always come down to greed," she complained bitterly. "If people would just be satisfied with what they've got, we would have a lot less cases to work."

"I know." Jane squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. "But if it makes you feel any better, Nancy won't be any happier with her new man, nor Bennett with the money."

"Speaking of being satisfied with what we've got," Jane continued, "I've noticed we are locked in a room full of vintage wine. Are you thirsty?"

"We can't drink the victim's wine!"

"Suit yourself, but I really don't think he'd mind given the circumstances." Jane took the torch from her hand and got up to examine some wine labels. He selected a bottle and opened it with a corkscrew from the shelf. He took a swig straight from the bottle then sat back down and offered it to Lisbon.

"Oh very well," she relented. "But I haven't had dinner yet so this is going to go straight to my head."

* * *

Chapter 2

It was three hours later and they were both pleasantly drunk on very expensive wine. Lisbon was lying under the blanket beside Jane, who still had his arm around her. He had entertained her with stories from his carnival days, and she talked about her early years in law enforcement.

"This is nice," she said sleepily. "You're good company when you're not going out of your way to be annoying."

"I'm not annoying," Jane said in a wounded voice.

"Yes you are. Sometimes I want to strangle you," Lisbon insisted.

"No, that's just your way of masking the attraction you feel for me. You really want to ravish me instead," he said smugly.

Lisbon was scandalized but her brain was fuzzy and she couldn't think straight. "Nope, pretty sure I want to strangle you. Can feel it coming on now in fact."

"Silly woman," Jane whispered affectionately. He put his hand gently on her chin and turned her face towards him. Then Lisbon felt his lips touch hers. It was a soft and gentle kiss but very intimate.

"Why'd you do that," Lisbon asked softly, trying to rouse her mind from its drunken stupor.

"You're cute when you threaten me," Jane explained, still holding her face tenderly. "I've been dropping hints for a while now. You never responded even though I could see in your eyes that you wanted to. "

Lisbon was embarrassed but suddenly felt tingly and warm all over. She also felt a bit confused. "I thought you were still in love with your wife."

Jane was silent for a moment. "She would understand," he said finally. "Now, may I kiss you again?"

"Now you ask permission?" Lisbon reached out and pulled his head closer then kissed him softly on the lips. He responded immediately and soon they were lost in a passionate embrace.

* * *

Lisbon was having a wonderful dream. She could feel Patrick's warm body pressed tightly against her back, his hand resting intimately on her hip. She wriggled against him suggestively and was rewarded with a sleepy sigh as he nuzzled the back of her neck and moved his hand under her shirt to stroke the soft skin there. She wondered why the bed was so uncomfortably hard.

Awareness flooded in and Lisbon woke up and remembered where they were. It wasn't a dream, she really was lying in Patrick Jane's arms. It was still pitch black in the cellar but there was a crack of light showing under the door, suggesting morning had arrived. The events of last night were fuzzy and distant in Lisbon's mind. Had she really kissed Jane or was it just a dream?

Her sudden tenseness alerted Jane to the fact that she was awake.

"Teresa? Are you alright?"

Lisbon was lost for words but fortunately didn't have to say anything because she suddenly heard footsteps on the floorboards above. She jumped up, stumbled up the steps and started pounding on the door.

"In here! Help!" she yelled.

Moments later she heard the rasp of the bolt being drawn and then the door opened, piercing her eyes with bright light. She immediately felt a stabbing pain in her head.

"Boss? Are you alright?" Cho's concerned voice, echoing Jane's question.

"We're fine," she said weakly. "Just a hangover."

"Well, no offence but you look like crap. What happened?"

Her eyes adjusting to the light, Lisbon filled Cho in about Bennett and Nancy. Jane followed her out of the cellar, looking every bit as dishevelled as she felt. He didn't say anything and seemed to be watching her carefully. Lisbon tried not to look at him, still unsure of her feelings.

'We found your cars at the Holiday Inn but you weren't there," Cho explained. "I knew you would never just switch your phone off and run away with Jane so figured something must have happened."

Lisbon was relieved that Cho had proven his dependability once again and she asked him to drop her off at home to freshen up. She would figure out what to do about Jane later.

* * *

Chapter 3

The case was all but solved, the CBI just had to wait for Bennett and Nancy to show up somewhere. That meant there wasn't anything urgent for Lisbon to do at work. So, since it was a Saturday after all, she stayed home. Avoiding Jane may have had something to do with that decision too, she admitted to herself.

Lisbon found herself unable to concentrate on anything for the rest of the day; she kept staring off into space and imagining Patrick's warm arms around her. It was a crazy situation, she knew. He had come into her life and turned everything upside-down. He drove her crazy at work and now it was spilling over into her personal life. The safest thing to do, she decided, would be to apologise for last night and then hopefully things would go back to normal with minimal awkwardness.

The sun was already setting as Lisbon finally worked up the courage to call Jane. Just as she picked up the phone, there was a knock the door. Her heart skipped a beat as she realised there was only one person who would visit without calling first.

Lisbon took a deep breath and opened the door. There was Jane, standing on her doorstep with a soft smile on his face. He wore a blue vest that echoed the colour of his eyes, and a light cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He was holding a bunch of red tulips.

"Hi. I was just about to call you," Lisbon said.

"I know. I thought I would save you the trouble." Jane appeared calm and confident, as if this were just another day at the office. "These are for you, my dear." He pushed the tulips into her hands.

"Uh, thanks." Lisbon wasn't sure what else to do, so invited him inside. She went to find a vase for the flowers while he gazed around the room with interest, hands in his pockets.

Lisbon took her time arranging the deep red flowers in the vase. She knew red tulips symbolized passion and that made her feel even more nervous. She felt Jane approach; his shower-fresh scent infiltrated her senses. He touched her arm and she turned too face him.

"Jane, about last night…" she began.

"I know what you're going to say," he interrupted. "Our judgement was impaired and we behaved unprofessionally. Now you want us to pretend nothing happened." He gave her a knowing smile.

"Yes, exactly!" Lisbon was relieved that he understood.

"Well that's not going to happen," he said, suddenly serious.

"It's not?"

"Not unless you can look me in the eyes and tell me you don't have feelings for me." His blue eyes gazed intently into hers, and Lisbon had to look away.

"That's not the point. It would be a bad idea for us to get romantically involved," she said firmly.

"Well, we have a problem here. Because I happen to think it would be a very good idea." Jane smiled at her again. "How about a compromise. We can alternate between your way and mine. Lovers one day, co-workers the next day… and so on until one of us changes their mind."

Lisbon opened her mouth and then closed it again. "That is insane" she laughed finally.

"The amazing thing is not that you would suggest such a plan, because you're full of crazy ideas. But you actually made it sound reasonable."

"I can be very reasonable when I try," Jane agreed. "So it's agreed then? Our first date will be tomorrow."

"What? No!" Lisbon was rapidly losing control of the situation.

"Forget it Lisbon, you're out of excuses. I'm going to go now but I'll pick you up at eleven in the morning. Wear something casual."

Jane reached out and shook Lisbon's hand. "Goodnight boss." He then cheerfully let himself out the front door without giving her a chance to argue.

Lisbon closed the door and leaned against it, wondering what foolish game she had just become involved in.

* * *

Chapter 4

Lisbon checked herself in the mirror. She wore blue jeans, flat shoes, and a white v-neck top. She didn't really intend on going out on a date with Jane, but could hardly answer the door in her pyjamas.

At eleven o'clock exactly there was a knock on the door. Jane. Lisbon opened it and immediately noticed he was wearing cargo pants and a casual shirt instead of his usual three-piece suit.

"Oh good, you're ready," he said cheerfully.

"Jane, I still don't think this is a good idea."

"Don't be silly, we're just going to have lunch at the beach. Where's the harm in that?"

Lisbon couldn't really find fault in that, so she decided to go. It was a nice day for the beach after all, fine and not too cold. She grabbed her bag, locked the door, and walked with Jane to his car.

"There are two rules for today, though" Jane mentioned seriously.

"Oh?" Lisbon asked suspiciously.

"Rule number one, we use first names. Rule number two, no talking about work."

Lisbon considered this carefully. "Ok. But I have a rule too. I do the driving, Patrick."

"If you must" Jane said with a pained expression.

They drove to the beach, and Lisbon managed to calm the nervous butterflies in her stomach by concentrating on the road. They arrived at the coast just before midday, and found a beachfront café. The seaside air was fresh and salty, and Lisbon was glad she had decided to come. Jane was a good conversationalist and they talked about current events and other safe non-work-related topics while they waited for the food and coffee to arrive.

After lunch they went for walk along the beach. It wasn't too busy, just a few other people walking or jogging. The waves crashed relentlessly and seagulls wheeled overhead. Patrick slipped his hand into Teresa's and it felt like the most natural thing in the world. He kept looking sideways at her, smiling when she caught his eye.

"What?" she asked, blushing slightly.

"Oh, nothing. Just wondering what's going on in that pretty head of yours"

"You're the mind reader," she replied defensively. "You must already know."

In truth, she was thinking about how nice it had been to wake up in his embrace in the wine cellar. Her own bed had seemed cold and lonely by comparison last night.

"I hope you didn't get too sore sleeping on the stone floor the other night." Jane said.

Shocked, Lisbon wondered briefly if he really could read her mind. Then she dismissed it as a coincidence.

They arrived back in Sacramento a couple of hours later and Jane walked her to the door.

"Jane…Patrick, you are not to tell anyone at the CBI about this…turn of events," Lisbon demanded.

"Don't worry about it, Teresa" Jane reassured her. Then he leaned in and kissed her gently. As he turned and walked away, Teresa realised she was powerless to resist him.

* * *

Chapter 5

On Monday they were back to being merely co-workers according to Jane's absurd plan. Lisbon walked into the office, not sure what to expect. Jane greeted her politely and then turned away to continue a discussion with Cho. Lisbon wandered into her office, somewhat relieved.

Jane dozed on the couch until eleven when the team got a call from the DA's office and had to go investigate a new case. While out in the field Jane managed to contaminate the crime scene, start a brawl between the victim's relatives, insult a member of the DA's office, and solve the case. All in all, a typical day at the CBI.

When Jane left that evening he cheerfully wished the team good night and then left without a backward glance. Lisbon sighed and stayed late to finish the paperwork.

* * *

Tuesday was completely different. When Lisbon arrived at the office, Jane had a warm smile for her. He followed Lisbon into her office and pulled a single red rose out of his jacket.

"For you, my dear."

"Please, Jane. Not at the office" she pleaded with him, glancing around to see if anyone was watching. She took the rose and put it safely in her desk drawer.

"I'll go away if you allow me to cook you dinner at your place tonight"

"Fine," she whispered. "Now get back to work."

Jane was a model employee all day. He was professional, helpful, and managed not to insult anyone. But Lisbon could feel him watching her. Whenever he caught her eye he smiled in a way that made her knees turn to jelly.

Hightower dropped by Lisbon's office late in the afternoon to compliment her on a case closed with no complaints.

"I don't know what you said to him, Agent Lisbon" she remarked thoughtfully. "But whatever it was, it's working."

Lisbon didn't know what to say, so simply nodded in acknowledgement. Jane was probably behaving just to get her to go out with him, she realised, and she didn't like the feeling of being manipulated.

At 5:30pm Lisbon was still working when Jane invaded her couch. He leaned backed and looked at her expectantly.

"I have a lot of paperwork to finish," she explained. "We'll have to reschedule dinner for another day."

"That's ok, I don't mind eating late."

Jane put his feet up on the couch. Lisbon tried to ignore him but every time she glanced up her was watching her, and his smile grew at her obvious discomfort. She couldn't concentrate on the files and found herself reading the same page three times.

"Ok, I guess the paperwork can wait," she sighed.

"Excellent" Jane smiled broadly. "I'll meet you at your place in an hour".

* * *

Chapter 6

Lisbon went home and showered and changed into something more casual. She was beginning to feel very annoyed at the way Jane railroaded her into doing what he wanted. Sure, he was handsome and adorable but she wasn't going to let him or anyone run her life. By the time he arrived at her house she was simmering with resentment.

She opened the door with a scowl. Jane was holding a paper bag with groceries and he took an involuntary step back at her expression.

"Teresa…is something wrong?"

"Yes something is wrong!" she exploded. "I don't like being manipulated by you, and I'm not playing along with this silly game any longer."

Jane winced and looked hurt. But then he steeled himself. "You think this is a game?" he asked in indignation. "Do you think I intended for this to happen? You drive me crazy with the way you are so beautiful and serious all the time. Your body language says you want me but at the same time you push me away. And you think I'm manipulating you?"

He pushed the bag of groceries into her arms and then turned to leave.

Lisbon was shocked at his uncharacteristic outburst. "Patrick…wait. I'm sorry" she said softly.

He turned back and studied her seriously. "Make up your mind, Lisbon. Do you want me to come in or not?"

Lisbon knew the question was more than it appeared on the surface. She looked at him standing there in the last rays of light from the setting sun. The sun lit his curly hair from behind, casting a golden glow around his face. He looked sad and she couldn't bear knowing it was because of her.

"Please come in, Patrick," she said.

Patrick didn't come in. Instead, he put his arms around her and kissed her passionately, crushing the bag of groceries between them. They stumbled through the doorway. Lisbon let the groceries fall to the floor, pushed the door closed with one hand, and then wrapped her arms around Patrick as they continued the kiss.

Lisbon was suddenly impatient with the all the fabric of their clothing that was getting in the way. She fumbled with his shirt buttons, not wanting to stop kissing him long enough to look at what she was doing.

"Hey, slow down," Patrick laughed, breaking away. "I'm supposed to cook you dinner, remember?"

"You should have thought of that before," she growled. "I'm not stopping now." She grabbed his collar and pulled him into the bedroom.

* * *

Teresa woke up in Patrick's embrace again, only this time they were naked and in a comfortable bed. Moonlight streamed in the window and she could see his eyes were open, watching her.

"It's almost morning," he said softly, trailing a hand down her stomach. "Are we going to go back to being co-workers soon?"

"Only for a few hours," Lisbon promised. "You still owe me dinner."