Title: Letter From Beyond
Author: ADeclanFan
Words: 770
Summary: Sanctuary_Bingo prompt - gen, Declan gets a letter from an old friend.
Warning: Rating: PG for language, Spoilers for Carantan
Declan,
If you're reading this, it means I didn't make it out of Carantan alive. I've asked Magnus to see that you get this after my memorial service. I didn't want a service, and I told Magnus that more than once during her stay here. You know me, and you know how much I loath anyone making a fuss about me. I'm dead. I don't care about flowers or pretty speeches. I never did.
What I do care about is you, my friend. You're the best friend I've ever had. With the exception of my wife of these last forty years, of course. You would have liked her, by the way. I know she would have liked you. Probably, she would have dumped me and taken up with you the first time she got a look at you. Women were always throwing themselves at your feet, and I never understood it. I think you're homely and completely lacking in any social graces, even for a bloke. So, I thank my lucky stars every day that you didn't decide to come with me or follow me into France.
What I need to say to you is simply this… I chose to come to Carantan. I didn't come because you ordered me to. I didn't come because you asked me to. You should know me better than that. We worked and played and bled together for years for James before I became Head of Mumbai House. If I didn't want to do something you asked me to do, I'd have told you to stick it up your overly tight Brit ass. You don't get to blame yourself for this, you stuck up prig.
I am completely happy with my decision and the consequences of my actions, so go do something more useful than take a guilt trip at my expense. Go to a pub and buy a round on me. Get stinking drunk and let some bloke rearrange your pretty face. Do something, anything, but what I know you are doing right now. Feeling sorry for yourself and for me. There is nothing for you to feel sorry about.
Stop blaming yourself. I certainly don't blame you. I died a happy, old man. I hope you get the chance to do the same someday. You deserve it.
If I have one regret in all of this it is that I couldn't share this life with my best friend. You didn't get to be the best man at my wedding, or the godfather to my children, as you should have been. For all that, I am sorry.
Your Friend,
Ravi
PS Yes, you are a stuck up prig, but I loved you like a brother.
Declan put the letter down and started to laugh. The laughter became sobs when it hit him that his friend was truly gone. There would be no more late night video calls to complain about obnoxious residents or compare injuries. At Head of House meetings, there would be no one to sneak off with him during the breaks to get a pint when Magnus thought they were hard at work. There would be no more sage advice from a comrade who shared similar trials on a daily basis, but had years more experience under his belt than Declan. He was on his own, now.
After James died, he thought it would be a long time before he hurt like that again. He couldn't have been more wrong.
A hand gripped his shoulder, and he looked up to see Magnus looking down on him with tears on her own cheeks. "I'm sorry, Declan. I know how close you and Ravi were."
Declan scrubbed his hands over his face and struggled to get control of himself. "Yeah, he was a good mate."
Magnus stopped in front of him, taking his hands in hers. "Ravi was more than that. He was family." Her face lost its composure and she put a hand over her mouth to stifle a whimper.
Declan stood and pulled Magnus into a hug. "It's getting harder… losing people." He whispered the words into her hair, holding onto her like she was the only life preserver on a sinking ship.
"I guess we have to do a better job of making sure it doesn't happen anymore, then, don't we?" He felt as Magnus took a deep breath and her shoulders shook with silent sobs.
After a few minutes, Declan pulled back a little and met her very blue eyes. "That's right."
Magnus nodded, more in control of herself now. "Care to get a pint with me?"
"Love to."
