New story that's been in the works for a while, but just some background information: This is based off of a movie made in 2009 that i thoroughly enjoy called "The Jerk Theory" starring Josh Henderson, Jenna Dewan-Tatum, and Tom Arnold (You can find it on YouTube). Secondly, I intentionally made this story to be with the main characters of Adventure Time (no gender-bent characters except a name). I also portrayed Marceline transgender cause I, myself, enjoy connecting to characters through personal experiences, so I hope some of you can too. I feel it's different than having Bubblegum be with trans Marshall Lee than cis Marshall Lee, but don't get me wrong; my favorite pair of all time is the original Bubbline. the characters are a little ooc to make it fit the story line too. Anyways, hope you like it!
I do not own Adventure Time, just this story.
"The Jerk Theory chapter 1: and ACTION!"
"No doubt that girls love a bad boy. They love the thrills, the chase and the idea that they can change a bad boy into a good guy (Cause somehow them changing is a sign of their love?). Anyways, that's why I came up with the Jerk Theory and I feel like it's my duty to share my knowledge with all of the 'nice guys'" Marshall Lee said making air quotation marks to his best friend, Keila, holding a Camcorder as they walk down the halls of Ooo High school.
"She wants a commitment." Some random student in the hall says. Not too sure on his real name but people call him Flambo.
"Just tell her you don't want a girlfriend, bro." He says casually as they walk towards the outside cafeteria seating.
He then spots his ex, Ash, drinking from the water fountain. They dated for 2 years and Marsh doesn't even know why he wasted all that time with him. He was always asking him to make sandwiches-. They dated before Marshall came out as transgender, but when he did Ash seemed... weird about it. Marsh just thought he needed time to understand. About a week after, he shows up to Ash's house for Prom. The door opens to reveal Ash. He looked so handsome in his tux that Marshall was sure he was drooling. This couldn't be more perfect. Just him and his boyfriend going to junior pr- cue the record scratch. Maja, wearing a dress matching Ash, comes into Marsh's field of view and his heart drops.
"Didn't you get my text? We were voted king and queen so Maja thought we should go together." Ash explained.
Marshall was frozen; he couldn't believe that Ash just left him for that bitch and for a girl too! "That was a low blow, but if people don't respond to the nice guy then I'll just have to play the jerk." Marshall explained to the camera.
They made it to the school's courtyard where a stage was set up and a crowd formed waiting for the show. Keila gave Finn, a younger student who is a year below them all, the camera while she grabbed her guitar. Marshall hopped up on stage joint his band, Marshall Lee and the Scream Queens, and grabbed his bass looking out into the crowd filled with adoring fans.
"The only thing chicks love more than an all-star athlete... is a rockstar." (Song: The Jerk Theory Song - Josh Henderson)
What in the world was I thinkin',
When I went and bought you those flowers and candy?
I was thinking that every girl wants some nice guy,
Someone she can trust but, I guess, I was not right...
What is wrong with me?
Oh, do I have to be
A jerk, so you want me.
A jerk, so we can be...
Together happily ends, This time
Always use you.
If you ask me nice then I'll be there,
And use you.
Frequently I'll tell you:
You're fat and annoy me.
Frequently I'll tell you:
I don't want a girlfriend.
What is wrong me?
Oh, do I have to be,
A jerk, so you want me?
A jerk so we can be...
Together happily ends,
I won't ever call you.
Ends, I will, she'd on you,
Whatever I want to.
After that I'll tell you:
I'm sorry. Forgive me.
Then I don't know why,
But you want to be with me.
What is wrong with you?
I said, what it is true:
You're forcing me to play,
This same old stupid games,
'Cause you want what you can't have,
So I have to treath you bad.
I don't need to be so mean,
But you're forcing me to be,
A jerk so you want,
A jerk so we can be,
Together happily, together happily...
Then you'll leave me and you'll find a man.
Who love you so much: he'll ask for your help.
Then I can along, and treath you,
Like you're trash.
I don't know why but yo' still wants me back...
What is wrong with you?
I said, what it is true:
You're forcin' me to play,
This same old stupid games,
'Cause you want what you can't have,
So I have to treath you bad.
I don't need to be so mean,
But you're forcin' me to be,
A jerk so you want me,
A jerk, so we can be
Together happily,
Together happily...
We'll be together happily.
After the show, manager Simon Petrikov approached them.
"That was some show you put on. I like the whole punk rock scene, but you have to show me you can have different sounds. If you can do that then you guys are well on your way to having a contract with Ice Kingdom records." He says with a smile before walking out leaving the band to celebrate.
The Next day at school They were all hanging by Msrshall's locker and as usual Keila filmed her group of friends like she did so often. Guy, the keyboardist, Bongo, on the drums, Jake, a viola player but not part of the band, and finally Finn, Jake's little brother. Just as they started filming, a girl with fiery red, orange hair passes by and sends a smile towards Finn.
"Hey. You just went out with her last night now do not call her for 4 days. 4 days." Marshall repeats. "Once you call after 4 days, she'll be excited."
"So Marsh, how has the jerk theory been workin' so far?" Keila questions.
Over the past few years, Marshall has gone on quite a few dates. He recalls going to a restaurant with some girl who was telling him about her day while he was jotting down song lyrics that were popping up in his head. She finally notices he's not paying attention and stops talking.
"Marshall, Marsh!" She says waving her hand to try to get his attention.
"Huh?"
"You don't appreciate me."
"No I don't." He answers as he continues writing.
And then there was the other one he took to the same restaurant. Sarah? Serena? Sam? I don't fucking know.
"Why are you breaking up with me?"
Marshall sits up and leans forward taking her hand into his trying to look sincere.
"Honestly, you're really slutty and annoying, but I'll call you if I ever get lonely."
"You're irresistible." She says with a smitten look on her face.
"Thank you."
Then how could he forget the one girl he picked up but keep driving away as she tried to get into the car.
"Are you coming or what?" He yelled out his car window to her.
"You're the one that's an hour late." She says as she reaches for the door but Marshall taps the gas pedal and moves forward leaving her behind. Eventually, he stops so she gets in.
"You're so hot."
"I know. You got my gas money?"
She reaches into her bra and pulls out a 20 and hands it to him before they drive off.
"Uh it's been working pretty well I'd like to say." He says smiling into the camera.
"It's over, Braco." Bonnibel Bubblegum says as she looks over the edge of the wall they were standing on. Today was rope day meaning the class had to climb or repel down a rope attached to a wall. Bonnibel was gonna repel down but now looking over the edge she can't do it due to her fear of heights. Actually it's not a fear of heights, but more of a fear of falling.
"What do you mean it's over?" Braco said shocked.
"It means what it means"
With a huff, "Fine, but I want that bracelet back"
"Fine; here." She said as she took off the pink bracelet lined with cheap, fake jewels that was tied around her wrist and threw it over the wall.
"Wha-what are you doing?! Those are real diamonds!" He yelled as his vision followed the falling bracelet.
"I know they're fake, Braco."
"Fine. I don't need you. There are plenty of girls down there that want me." Braco said as he grabbed the rope and repelled down. Now Bubblegum had to choose whether to use the rope to get down or wimp out. She chose the latter and walked down the stairs back to the beautiful, beautiful ground.
In the locker room, Bubblegum meets up with her best friend, Lady Rainicorn, a tall Korean girl with rainbow dyed hair. They were childhood friends who did everything together. Even dye their hair.
"He made you give back the bracelet?" She asked in disbelief. Bonnie holds up her arm to show that it wasn't there anymore.
"That's such a bitch move."
"I know. I'm so sick of dating jerks." She says running a hand through her long pink hair.
"Yeah I know what you mean." The bell rings indicating they were late for their next class. "C'mon. We can't be late for Mr. Lemongrab's psychology class again." Lady says grabbing her friend's hand and running out the locker room.
Just as the bell for 5th period rings, the band and their friends scramble to get everything out of their lockers and run to their class. Guy and Bongo had foreign language so they split from the group going right.
"Hey don't forget! Gig at the Nightosphere tonight at 7!" Marsh yelled after them. The rest of them ran left hoping their respective teachers didn't lock 'em out.
"Yo we're so fucked. We can't get another detention." Keila announced to the group. The four of them went straight down the hall but Finn and Keila split from the other two going up the stairs to math. Marshall and Jake made it to the social studies/history hall and stood outside of their classes, which happen to be right next to each other, and put their hands on the door knob. Just as they were about to enter their classes, two girls came around the corner running past them. Marsh was stunned by the beautiful pink haired girl running by in what seemed like slow motion. Jake was the same but paid attention more to her Korean friend next to her. After they turned the next corner and left, the two boys looked at each other and just went into their class looking a little dazed.
As Bonnie and Lady went through the doors of Lemongrab's class he immediately acknowledged them.
"Ms. Bubblegum and Ms. Rainicorn, do I need to give you detention for being late?"
"Go easy on her, Dog Buns. Bubblegum got dumped today" a student said smiling. Bubblegum didn't know her but she was known for dating Ash for a while. Maja maybe?
"No I didn't" She says in disbelief.
"Very well... Take your seats." Lemongrab says in his screechy high pitched voice. As Lady and Bubblegum take their seats, Maja whispers to her friend just loud enough for Bonnibel to hear
"I head Braco dumped her 'cause she wouldn't put out." Maja said laughing.
Great. A bad rumor. Just the thing she needs right now.
That was chapter one! Let me know what you think. Longer, shorter, like it, hate it, any mistakes?
