- Year 1-
Staring down at the white sheet of paper in front of him he tapped the tip of his ball point pen against his chin in a pattern for a while before he smiled slightly beginning to write, the black ink rolling onto the paper with ease. The words appeared effortlessly as he made the slight motions that would change what each letter was, as the words appeared the male kept the smile on his face letting the words appear on the paper. When he neared the end he moved to a new sheet of paper continuing the process until the words stopped and he had completed this master piece of a love poem…or letter. Whichever you really preferred, the blond haired man slipped the two pieces of paper into an envelope folding them so perfectly some people might have joked that he was a master of making letters like this. Sealing the back of the envelope with a heart shaped sticker he licked the stamp that he wanted to put on the front four times until he was sure it would stick.
Flipping the small envelope over to the front he set it on the right upper corner, picking up his pen again the male addressed the letter properly but left no return address, he paused at the name 'Marluxia Ferguson's was written there. The man smiled a bit adding a tiny heart over the 'I' of Marluxia's name. Picking up the letter he walked down to his post box, setting it into the box before shutting it. As he turned around he saw the mail man, the man paused smiling at him "Greeting's Vexen." He tipped his hat to him. Vexen nodded to him
"Greetings." Was all he said before walking back inside of his apartment building, when he entered his room he glanced at a daily planner. Once a day at about the same time, only changing for when he went to work, was written 'Write Marluxia a letter.' And that made him smile.
- Year 2-
"Wait which floor?" Xigbar asked the person on the other end of the phone looking up at the multi floored building. A cough occurred on the other end a few times
"Fourth. In room 411." The hoarse voice told him
"Geez Xemmy…did you take any medicine yet?" Xigbar asked genuinely concerned for him
"Shut up and just go knock on his door! I need the notes from him!" the man on the other end of the phone yelled making Xigbar's one good eye shut briefly out of pain (He never understood that, someone yells in your ear and you shut your eyes. Why was that?) the man sighed
"Yeah I'll go. Get some rest dude, I shouldn't even be…"
"Xemnas?" a soft voice spoke
"Saïx! I thought you were at work!" the hoarse voice spoke before coughing. A very soft sigh occurred
"You're doing something for work aren't you?" the voice spoke
"….No." after that Xigbar hung up snickering a bit. Taking the stairs to the fourth floor Xigbar suddenly paused at an odd smell. He knew that smell, where did he know it from though?
Inside of his room Vexen was really into his letter he was writing, it had to be one of his best letters yet. Currently it was about four pages long and was edging towards a fifth page possibly if his muse didn't stop, he had set something in the oven to eat once he was done before delivering the letter but that wouldn't be done for another twenty minutes so why not work on the letter for the man who stole his heart. His room had gotten a bit warmer which was odd but he figured he had just bumped the thermostat when he had been making lunch or something like that. As he wrote he eventually finished beginning the placing into an envelope process when a loud banging at his door occurred. He hardly paid any attention to it before his door was slammed open
"Vexen!" a voice yelled, glancing over towards the door the blond could see a male with black hair with a few silver streaks mixed into it a single golden eye staring at him with panic and surprise in it
"Xigbar?" Vexen asked confused by this. The male paused in whatever he was doing before covering his eye
"Vexen…did you know your room is on fire?" the male asked. Vexen looked about noticing a thick black smoke floating around his room
"Oh…that was why it was warmer….we should probably leave." The blond spoke calmly rising up from his seat holding the letter and things he needed to finish getting it ready to send close to his chest
"Yeah…uh two things one: Xemnas needs some notes from you." Xigbar stated Vexen nodded
"Ah those." He nodded picking up the small USB near his desk "Shall we go?"
"Uh and two:….do you have like a bathrobe?" Xigbar asked. Vexen blinked at the question
"I do?"
"Um…you might wanna put it on before we leave." The other male stated. Blinking a few times he looked down before promptly looking up completely straight faced grabbing his bathrobe out of the mostly untouched bathroom putting it on and walking out of the apartment head held high with Xigbar behind him
"Don't tell anyone." Vexen hissed.
- Year 3-
Vexen stared at some of pieces of his work, no response but that was fine with him. It was a while before he opened a new tab on his internet browser, he typed in the url he desired to visit a little embarrassed that a man of his degree of knowledge and creditability (One of those types who were nearly a rocket scientist but it didn't really matter) would be going to this webpage. Sure he had started to take lessons in English at a local college to just make sure each of his pieces would be flawless and just as breath taking as the first but this seemed a bit low. He stared at the site signing up under another email he had not daring to use his work place email or the one he provided as a contact email or else he would never hear the end of it from his employers or co-workers. Sitting there he made up a username along with a password leaving the description of his contents just as 'An archive for the one I love.' In the description of what his entries were about most of the time. Once he just randomly picked a posting style and design layout along with a theme for it he hit the button to submit a new entry. He posted just a couple of his older ones having copies of them for personal reasons leaving them up before rising from his seat to do other things.
When he returned that night he logged in just to see what had really happened to his little log site, the site nearly made him spray coffee out of his nose. His entire message box was full with either friend requests or people just raving about his poems.
- Year 4-
As he wrote his letters he was getting really good at writing so a few times he submitted them to various magazines asking for various things, a few social problems squirmed their way into his writings (Never to Marluxia. Those we safe from the troubles of the world around them.) and he generally got very good reviews for them, a few people disliked them sprinkled in here and there he didn't mind too much. It was when he was seated in front of a woman did he wonder if something he said was bad. The woman was very sweet looking, blond hair that went to her mid shoulders and large blue eyes. She eventually looked up at him and smiled at him "So …I've read a few of your poems." She stated. Vexen nodded slightly she pushed a piece of paper with a few paper clippings scanned onto it. The clippings were of some of his poems "They are wonderful." She told him watching Vexen nodded again
"Thank you miss." He nodded to her feeling awkward. The woman smiled, a charming sight for men who were into that
"They really do need to be archived for all to see." She told him. Vexen looked up at the female
"You mean…"
"Yes I would love to publish a book of these. With your permission." She told them. Vexen allowed it and when the first pay check arrived in the mail…he didn't need to work at his old job any more.
- Year 5-
Vexen blinked a few times as he entered the store, his manger smiled at him "Naminé? Why are there…"
"Oh their here for the book signing!" she explained. Vexen blinked a few more times staring at the rather large crowd of women, after his book went best seller within a few months of it being up he wrote a few more (Still writing to Marluxia every day…still no reply) and this was his first public appearance for the release of one of his books. He stared at the crowd swallowing thickly "You'll be okay!" Naminé encouraged him pushing him towards the desk where he would be signing books at, as he stumbled towards the desk he slipped into the chair setting up a small stack of papers in case he thought of a good poem or something before nodding to Naminé who smiled making some announcement that he was ready to sign the books.
Vexen was so ready to be swamped by ladies that he was surprised when it was one woman in a nice line. Naminé must have made the rules really strict in not swarming the crap out of him. He took the woman's book signing
"How do you spell your name Miss?" he asked
" e." She smiled at him
"Ah my apologizes miss." He spoke signing the book
"It's fine, a lot of people don't know how to spell it." When he finished she took the book a huge grin on her face. To Vexen it didn't look quite right on her face "You're a lucky man. All the ladies in the world putty in your hands." She winked at him and walked away. Vexen grimaced looking at the ladies in line…the only thing he could compare them to was looking at a field of daikons…..
God he hated daikons, mostly driven by an allergy but still…
- Year 6-
Vexen stared at the computer screen has he typed yet another poem, this one was personal. Picking up a bottle he took a swig of it before setting it back down as he wrote more words. He wasn't sure if he was going to publish this one quite yet but did he need to get the words out of his soul, fuck Xigbar. As he wrote eventually his cell phone rang, glancing at the screen he picked it up "Yes Naminé?" he asked slurring his words just the smallest amount
"Your drunk again." She remarked over the phone her voice a mixture of annoyance and genuine concern for him
"Why does it matter?"
"Your health isn't going to take much more of it." She chided him lightly
"Whatever." He grumbled taking another drink out of the bottle
"Vexen! You've broken every bone and you have had four different organs needed to be fixed. I know your father passed away and you were very close but…"
"Shut up! This…." Vexen sat there for a few moments before touching his stomach "Hey Naminé?" he asked
"What?"
"Can you call an ambulance?"
"…..Why?"
"Because I'm about to pass out from pain in my abdomen. Thanking you in advance." With that Vexen toppled out of his seat landing hard on his side before everything went black for a couple of hours. He found out when he woke up and he had a new scar his liver had failed…maybe Naminé had a point.
- Year 7-
Vexen stared at the window a smile on his lips, he was feeling rather nice and it was a nice day outside. He glanced at his clock seeing that it was his allotted time to write to Marluxia. Pulling out a new sheet of paper and picking up his favorite pen he began to write this introduction "What can I compare you to?" he asked aloud. He tapped the tip of the pen to his chin "Extreme ironing?" he wondered out loud. The idea of Marluxia furiously ironing away at something with an expression of determination in those beautiful sapphire blue eyes made Vexen laugh "No that wouldn't work…though it makes an amusing image." He chuckled again before going back to thinking tapping the pen against his chin again "Complex inner product of space?" he asked allowed. He blinked again before snorting a bit "No…I highly doubt he would understand that." He shook his head an amused smile on his lips, eventually he glanced outside. His flower window box was just beginning to bloom, a single bunch of Florist's Cinerarias were near blossoming in front of his eyes. He smiled a bit more beginning to write "Cinerarias…exotic like him." He mumbled to himself as he wrote.
- Year 8-
Vexen bit down on the end of his pen, he was sure at one point while he chewed on it thinking that he could taste ink in his mouth. People always nagged him to not chew on the ends of pens seeing that he would ruin his teeth but he did it anyways. He looked at the sky for a moment before he took the pen out of his mouth "One step away from winning the major league of a sumo contest…wait does that even exist?" he wondered out loud before shaking his head "Hm…. AMPA glutamate receptor?" he suggested to himself but shook his head again "Argh…" he stood up before setting down the pen. He had already did Marluxia's letter for the day but for some reason something was bugging him to do a few extras and have it set up that if anything happened to him to have them sent. Of course he had plenty already but…why did he feel this urge? Slipping out his coat seeing it was beginning to snow he decided to walk a bit to try and figure out why he had this feeling.
As he arrived at the post box putting in Marluxia's daily letter he paused looking around, why did he feel so edgy? Maybe he should called Naminé and talk about maybe seeing a doctor about this feeling or something, walking a few steps he looked about. No cars on the street this particular night, it was New Year's Eve and close to midnight. He had been invited to a company party but he declined since he hadn't felt that terribly good that morning. Walking around he glanced at the snow covered streets and a few benches now beginning to become buried in snow. As he walked down a street he just looked about before deciding to head home, as he walked he blinked for a moment. Something that was a deep rose color made him look over across the street. The color came from a series of lights that were around a coffee stand, Vexen felt his heart stink a bit but he sighed. Maybe some coffee would help? Well he could just make it…
The sound of brakes screeching snapped his head up looking around for the sound. It was getting closure, but he couldn't see the source of the sound do to all the snow falling around him. His eyes widened when a bunch of light hit in the corners of his eye, he turned slowly before he was being thrown across the road landing on the side of the road with his head smacking against the ground. A cracking sound could be heard but that was the last thing Vexen heard other than a clock ringing twelve times marking a new year.
- Year 9-
Vexen's eyes opened slowly, the bright white light making them shut tightly just briefly before he forced himself to open them grunting in displeasure "Vexen?!" a voice called. Looking around his eyes fell upon a man with black hair with some grey streaks in it who was missing one eye and a terrible scar on his face. Vexen stared at the man "Vexen? Thank god!" he ran over hugging the man "We thought you were dead man! They were talking about pulling the plug…"
"Why?"
"You wouldn't wake up and it was fucking scary man don't do that again…"
"Um…can I ask a question?"
"Sure…"
"Do….Do I know you?" he asked, man pulled back
"Vexen…it's me…Xigbar. We've known each other since elementary school; you dated Xaldin my twin brother for like three months back in high school?" Vexen stared at the male for a bit shaking his head
"I…I have no idea what you are talking about." He admitted. Xigbar stared at him for a long time before running to the other side of the room pushing a button on the wall
"Can…can I get a doctor in here?" he asked.
A while later a doctor pulled Vexen into a side room looking at him, his orange red eyes staring him down
"I am Ansem Lee Burton. I would like to ask you a couple of questions quickly Mr. Kando."
"Okay…should I know this man?" the doctor didn't say anything for a while just writing something down before beginning
"Where do you live?"
"I…I honestly couldn't tell you."
"What do you do for a living?"
"Um…I don't know."
"Do you remember a woman named Naminé?"
"No."
"Do you remember anything?" the man asked after writing his last response. Vexen looked down at his hands for a bit before looking up at him
"I'm in love with a man named Marluxia. I've been writing him a daily letter…for over nine years."
- Year 10 and Year 11-
Vexen sat in his room looking at the photo of Marluxia that had been in his wallet; bright sapphire blue eyes twinkling somehow despite the fact that it was a still image. His deep rose hair layered down to his shoulders with a smile on those rosy lips. He had still managed to write a letter to Marluxia despite the fact that he couldn't remember anything else. He clutched at the picture tightly looking out a nearby window watching it snow. Snow made him really uneasy for some reason, no matter how long he waited or how many letters containing money for something he apparently wrote he never spoke a word to him. Vexen looked at the picture again "I love you…I really want a reply." He whispered to the image.
- Year 12 and Year 13-
Vexen looked at the ringing phone, it seemed too loud. He didn't pick it up; the phone stopped his answering machine clicked on
"Hey Vexen it's me Xigbar…um…Ansem called saying you never went to your appointment last night with the therapist so I thought I would call to ask what happened. You haven't missed one yet and so it's just kind of weird for you. Um…call me back?" with that the message ended. Vexen sat there in his chair by the computer before shaking his head
"Why it isn't working." He mumbled setting his arms on his desk followed by his head resting atop them. Sitting there he stared at a different photo of Marluxia, this one had him in a black leotard using a ballet bar in a pose where his right leg was on the bar but his left leg was on the ground his toes pointed towards the camera. His arms held a large bouquet of bright red roses in front of him and smile on his lips, Vexen stroked the hair like he could physically feel it through the thin glass. "I love you…" he whispered softly "Tell me…what to do." He wished quietly.
His phone rang again and Vexen whipped around to look at the phone he accidently knocked over the photo. Thankfully the glass side was face up the back just popped out from it, looking at it he picked it up beginning to put the piece back into place when he noticed something, a bit of writing on the back of the picture '4 11 2 0 11' was writing in the bottom left corner on the back of the photo. He raised an eyebrow "What's this for?" he wondered out loud.
- Year 14-
Vexen sat in the corner of his room; he held his knees to his chest the photo of Marluxia in which had the code on it. Several people were in his room, well not the room that he was hiding in. It was outside of the room he sat in, they kept saying he needed help. Vexen was fine! Okay he wasn't fine he was scared shitless but he just wanted them to leave him alone! Eventually the door separating him from the people opened revealing Xigbar standing there looking at him concerned. Vexen didn't move from his spot just clenched the picture tighter to his chest, the male stared at him sighing a bit "Vexen…you can't just stay here locked up forever." He told him, Vexen stared at him blankly
"I'm not staying here forever I'm just trying to figure something out." He told him
"Dude we've told you like a million times. There's a reason you don't remember what that code is for." Xigbar stated
"I want to know now."
"No you really don't." Xigbar argued. Vexen's eyes narrowed at him and growled a bit
"Yes I do. Why won't you or anyone else tell me?"
"Because you seriously don't want to know!" Xigbar shouted at the man. Vexen glared at the man looking at the photo to stare at the pink haired man
"Does it deal with Marluxia?" he asked
"Seriously…" Xigbar stared at Vexen for a while before sighing "You don't want to know."
- Year 15-
A few days later Vexen was walking around an ice skating rink that was near his apartment building, he wasn't there to ice skate but it felt nice to walk in a cold area. The people hadn't even stopped him from walking around, it was weird. When Vexen had glanced up at one of the workers they gave him a solemn almost sad look which confused him a bit. As he walked he passed by rows of blue lockers, most of them didn't have locks on them, people would rent the lockers and were given a lock. As he walked he found one locker that did have a lock on it, the eleventh locker. Vexen stared at it for a bit gently pulling out the photo of Marluxia, staring at it he smiled a bit looking at the code on the back "What does this mean?" he wondered out loud. Staring at the locker again he chuckled softly before reaching up "If this was the answer…" he twisted the lock 4 11 20. Expecting the lock to deny him access he was surprised when the lock clicked open, blinking a bit as he carefully undid the lock and removed the object from the metal door Vexen watched the door open a bit.
Opening the door Vexen found there was simply a sheet of folded white paper (Though he could see the very edge of a paperclip) reaching in the blond pulled the paper out unfolding it. The paper clip was holding a picture of Marluxia and Vexen planting a tree of some kind together. To his great surprise the letter was from him addressed to Marluxia
Marluxia,
Meet me at our tree.
Love
Vexen
The note was simple enough and the male was confused by this. Staring at the image he barely could make out the edge of a sign. The green outlined sign had only a few letters visible to the blond but the letters were just a enough for him to realize the park "The Radiant Garden's Nature park?" he asked out loud. Feeling this was a sign for something Vexen put the lock back on the locker before running out of the ice skating rink at full speed. It took over forty minutes to reach the park but when he saw the sign Vexen felt giddy almost as he race off the bus he had taken to the park before running towards a large tree. He only could guess it was the same tree seeing it was still a young sapling but the shape of the leaves were distinct. Arriving at the tree he found there was a dried up bouquet of flowers resting against the tree's trunk. Confused by this he walked forward before noticing a fully grown tree with a notch in its trunk leaving a small hole.
Approaching it he felt draw to put his hand in the hole, reaching in he felt something that felt similar to felt brush against his fingers lightly. Confused a bit he wrapped his fingers around the object withdrawing it, it was a simple black box that was covered in a thin layer of felt however a few spots had been worn down. Opening the box Vexen stared at the contents, a single ring sat there. It was silver and rather thin but in the center was a diamond shaped like a heart, Vexen hadn't even felt the rain begin to fall onto him but it was heavy enough to cover the drops coming from his eyes. He fell to his knees before sobbing.
He remember…everything…including that Marluxia, the man that he loved with all his heart and soul who he had been writing letters to for over fourteen years…
Was dead.
- Memories-
Vexen looked up from his paper to see the new boy, his hair was pink. That was the first thing he noticed about the new boy. The boy stared at the class a small smile on his lips, the teacher was busy writing a name on the white board before turning around "Alright class I want your attention for a moment." The rest of the class looked up from whatever they were doing to stare at the boy "Please introduce yourself." The boy nodded
"My name is Marluxia Ferguson. I just moved here." He stated waving to the class
"Marluxia just transferred here from La Cité des Cloches in France. Let us make him feel welcomed." The teacher spoke "Now where can you sit…" the teacher scanned the seats before resting on one that was to the left of Vexen's current spot "There. You will be sitting next to Vexen." The teacher nodded to him watching the boy take his seat. Going back to the planned lesson Vexen looked at his paper before glancing at Marluxia who looked at him for a moment. He felt a small butterfly in his stomach before he thought nothing more of it.
"So…we both agree?" Vexen asked looking at Xaldin who nodded
"That things aren't working out so…we should see other people." The male spoke. Vexen nodded
"…..I'm sorry. I feel like an idiot or a bastard and I can't figure out which…"
"It's fine." Xaldin set a hand on Vexen's shoulder making the blond look up at the male. Nothing more was said between the two they simply walked in opposite directions. Vexen bit his lip for a brief moment looking back over his shoulder as Xaldin walked away his twin brother ran over hugging him. Watching him push off the twin Vexen turned his eyes away walking towards the door that lead to the courtyard where he could eat his lunch alone. Arriving outside he sat down on the ledge of a large planter made of cement looking at the ground. He felt a few tears slip from his eyelids, while they agreed that it needed to end…it hurt.
As he sat there he suddenly had a cupcake with bright pink and purple swirled frosting with a couple sugar pearls on it. Looking at the holder of the cupcake it was Marluxia who stared at him offering the confection, staring at him Marluxia offered a smile "You…you want it? Mom gave me two and I don't really want to eat both…that and you seem down." He stared at him. Vexen stared for a bit before gently taking it
"Thanks…"
Vexen looked at Marluxia who was gracefully dancing, his feet moving with such grace it was almost criminal. The male stopped after a moment looking to Vexen, he smiled "What are you doing here?" he asked. Vexen walked over giving him a bouquet of roses
"For my favorite dancer." Vexen smiled at him. Marluxia giggled a bit leaning in to kiss Vexen's cheek softly
"Thank you." Vexen held up a camera
"Mind if I get a picture?" Marluxia smiled posing for Vexen before setting the flowers down on a near by table. He put his arms around Vexen hugging him tightly Vexen returning the embrace
"Promise…me that things won't change when the treatment starts." He whispered
"I promise…we'll get through this."
Vexen raced for the hospital room he knew held Marluxia, a thing of flowers in hand. As he ran he noticed a rather large amount of doctors in front of the room, walking over Vexen saw one of them turn to him "He's…not going to make it. I'm sorry." He told him knowing Vexen well. The blond gasped looking into the room, various tubes connected to Marluxia while he struggled to breath even with the air mask over him. Vexen pushed his way into the room still holding the flowers, tears now rushing down his cheeks
"Marly?" he called. The pinkette opened his eyes smiling at him for a moment reaching out a weak hand, Vexen took a hold of it before staring at him. The pinkette just smiled at him before his eyes shut again dying with that smile on his lips. Vexen dropped the flowers sobbing.
- Current-
Vexen stared at the dried bouquet of flowers whimpering as he remembered things: he remembered meeting Marluxia for the first time, he remember them becoming friends, he remembered Marluxia asking him out, he remembered ice skating with Marluxia every other day, he remembered the day Marluxia sobbed out that he was dying of cancer, he remembered watching people bury the one he loved in his eternal resting place, he remembered that the day Marluxia had died was the day he was supposed to walk out of that hospital for at least eight weeks and Vexen was going to take him ice skating and then purpose marriage to him but he couldn't! Marluxia was dead and he was alone.
The sound of foot steps behind him made the blond look at Xigbar who looked at him solemnly "I told you… you didn't want to know." He told him. Vexen sobbed
"I thought maybe…if I wrote to him I might get a response because I made myself forget that he was dead. Everyday I gave him more poems, he loved poems. They've just been delivering the mail to him through the slots for fifteen fucking years and…." Vexen sobbed "I still love him." Xigbar said nothing
"It was your way of coping with his death. We went along with it. I should have just told you poppet." Vexen whimpered staring at the flowers, eventually he sniffed
"No…I…I needed this."
"What?" Xigbar sounded surprised
"I needed to remember, I was running away from the truth and he…he wouldn't have wanted that." Vexen explained. Xigbar smiled a few tears making their way out of his eyes
"Yeah…he would have wanted you to remember him."
- Year 16-
Vexen sat in front of a grave, the grave was sheltered by a weeping willow. Sort of ironic if you asked Vexen, maybe he would work that into one of his poems. He stared at the grave, a letter resting in front of the grave. The blond smiled bowing his head "I'll keep writing this letters. So I can remember everything I loved about you." He whispered. After sitting there for a while he rose turning his back to the grave, he blinked a few times thinking he heard footsteps. Turning around he gasped seeing a transparent version of Marluxia, white wings were fluttering slightly in the wind. The male's eyes still as blue as ever before his death. He was reading the letter Vexen had left, a single tear dripped from Marluxia's eye before he looked up waving to the male before vanishing. Vexen stared at the spot before smiling and walking towards home, forever he would write these letters. So forever…
Marluxia would be loved.
