A/N: Just a silly attempt at humor.
`»When Somebody Throws a Rock at You, Be Superior!«´
`»Throw a Brick«´
Blair's a funny little kitten - when she's in cat form anyway - but a cute, purple, fuzzy ball of fluffiness that enjoys curling at Maka's lap nonetheless.
When Blair makes herself comfortable in the house, something changes in the air – it gets warmer, cozier, different. It's like, every time both weapon and meister lay their eyes on the rounded cat on the sofa at the end of the day, sleeping like she owns time, that comfortable feeling of home gets settled inside the disturbed souls of two teenagers who have done nothing more but study, train and fight since the day started.
It's too bad her partner isn't as thrilled as her when it comes to the other living, furry creatures. Where he finds it annoying she finds it loyal, where he notes drool with a sour face she thinks it's cute, where he sees laziness she corrects him explaining that his own habits aren't very far off. In fact, his habits are disturbingly similar to the one's of a dog.
And then he replies suggesting that if she likes them so much, she should marry them. She answers that with a book on his head.
Truth is, Maka has this thing for animals that Soul doesn't. She can state that between reading a good book and petting a stray cat there's a connection, and she enjoys them a lot. But today…
Today the situation is critical.
Her body kept turning from side to side, sheets tossing and turning along with it, tangled between her legs with all the movement. As one arm went behind her head to wrap the pillow over her ears, Maka wished and begged for something to entertain her brain while she slept. It could be music, it could be her partner's annoying guitar riffs blasting from his room, hell, it could even be her papa howling at the moon outside her window because, in all honesty, even that would fine for her to sleep with.
But no, it had to be two damn, lovey-dovey street cats meowing just below her freakin' window.
Because even the usual constant noise oozing from Soul's bedroom was alright even if she wanted to snooze, especially the noise he records and replays in the confinements of his four walls, unknown that on the other side she hears it all. His sounds have a constant, a beat that doesn't go off tune no matter what he replies to her that it doesn't – she captures that, it's probably the only thing she understands in music: that it always has a steady rhythm.
The racket outside? Not so much.
The worst part of it all was that no one has yet to go down there and scare the little lovers away. Where was her next door neighbor when she needed him and his grumpy attitude? Better yet, where are her neighbors in general? Are they all so tired that they can't hear a thing of what's going on? Do they sleep with cement over their ears? Or have they all moved out for the night? If so, the only acceptable place would be China, but sadly, she's too low on budget to fly to such far distances right now.
"Oh c'mon… Shut up…" And for a moment they do, and the blond sighs in desperate contempt while spreading her tense back over the mattress. But then the sing-a-long starts again.
The day had been rough enough for her to start flipping tables and all she wished for was a comfy bed, a soft pillow and peaceful quietness while her mind drifted off to dreamland. But of course, that would be too much to ask in Death City! Damn cats, damn midnight love, damn Soul who decided to spend time clubbing along with Black Star and the Thompson's and left her to deal with this damn problem all to herself!
While the cats continue their maddening chant, Maka makes a pact: if she lets this roll on any longer, she's going to upgrade from flipping tables to punching walls. And believe her, it won't be pretty.
"Ok that's it." She stands up with a jump and opens the window next to her bed with a bang. "Would you care to shut up already? People are TRYING to get some sleep here!"
In her defense, her brains cells were on the verge of suffering a breakdown – how could she have known that screaming English at two animals wouldn't work? Simple, she didn't, but it would hurt if she tried. Besides, no one was there to hear her, or else they would have complained long ago. However, it all turned to be ineffective as the two fur balls continued to mock her with their meows.
Now she saw them: one grey and brown cat with a little scar that shone by the streetlight stood tall and mighty over the wall in front of her building, enjoying the way a smaller, purple cat trotted around him while mingling their fur together in an awkward hug.
It took a while for Maka to sort out her mind (sleep deprived brain cells, remember?) but, in the end, everything kind'a made sense.
"Blair?" The purple cat tilted her head, gaining a growl from her male companion, and her honey-colored eyes were like two pools of gold innocently staring at her owner.
Before Maka had time to react, insist her to leave and kiss her buddy for the night or demand a quieter display of affections, Blair the Cat, her cat, stuck out her tongue and licked her lover's cheek as if she was a protagonist in a romantic slow-motion movie. Then, she rolled her long tail around, silently explaining that she was here to stay no matter what she screamed at her.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me." Blair meowed louder in a pure mocking gesture. "Traitor!"
And as her pet ignored her and her pleas of silence as if she thought the whole thing was nothing more than a game, Maka couldn't help but remind herself of the cartoon's she watched as a little kid, where infuriating, sleep-depriving cats were given the violent treatment by the end of a boot thrown out by a livid citizen. Never one to gaze at the television for too long, all tv-shows she watched revolving around this peculiar setting came to mind and she smiled.
It was a malicious smile, wicked as the thought itself but not as bad as she made it out to be at this hour in the morning. Glancing around her room for something of use, her eyes landed upon a rock she kept as paperweight. There was nothing special about it, just a whitish object she thought pretty at the time, now worn out by constant tumbles down from her desk.
A second thought wasn't needed and the blonde jumped out of bed and grabbed the rock, dashing to her previous spot next to the window in an instant. Good, Blair and her playmate were still oblivious and having apparent fun in nuzzling below the same streetlight, meowing louder and louder so to grab attention from any passersby – which, by the way, were none.
"I just got to have an aim…" She mumbled to herself. And sure enough, if all ideas stayed aligned and her force continued the same as the one she had before being in this half-awaken state, all she had to do was hit some spot near them and not directly; that way, Blair would finally understand that she meant business and no one would go hurt! "3…2…1!"
She screamed, and the rock flew out of her hands and away from the apartment, traveling throughout the air in a speed considered much too fast for safety. What unnerved her wasn't the fact that her final yell warned the two at the nick of time and made them run away, no, it was watching her once paperweight-rock pass the borders of the wall before her building and land on the other side of the street.
And she would have been fine with the situation if her bad luck hadn't cursed her once again and appear in the form of a guttural growl.
Maka couldn't believe her ears. "Soul?" It was him? But why? He was supposed to be somewhere in a smelly club for Shibusen students, throwing drunken tantrums at the walls or tying a sugar-coated Black Star to a chair. Why the sudden appearance, well, she'll never know if her partner bleeds to death with a concussion. But he's already so used to her Maka-Chops! She should know, she hits him on a daily basis.
She peeked ahead trying to catch a glimpse of his white hair, trying to sort out the exact weight of the object she threw with a silly frown on her face. Then she scanned the street below in a vain attempt to find the two perpetrators that started the whole ordeal in the first place.
To no avail.
It's best for her to go see her partner then.
But it's not until she's halfway down the stairway that her mind really begins to function, suddenly perceiving the distinguish sound of a distant meow disturbing her ears, again. "DAMN CATS!"
It was time for the strays to pay their due; enough is enough! Ohhh… It was punching time. Forget punching walls, forget animal love, tonight she's going to have some fun with real furry flesh.
"Listen here you two." She started, kicking the front door of the building open. "I don't-" She passed the wall.
CRASH!
Oh the horror.
Her partner stared back at her…
…with a brick in hand.
"SOUL EATER! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!"
The white haired male dropped the reddish brick on the floor and lifted both hands in the air. "What?" 'Cause in his mind, for all he knew he was innocent until proven otherwise.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT!" He sometimes gets on her nerves, plus, the idiot kept starring at her like it was normal! Like he didn't just break her window! "DIDN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU JUST DID?" And also, she caught him preparing a second assault, were all his brain cells dead? Couldn't he see what was happening in front of his eyes?
And still, his innocent stare remained.
She saw him admire his work, watched him examine every broken shard and tattered glass that dangled from the hole on the window and felt her cheeks grow redder with fury at her partner's stupidity. For his own good, he better recognize what's on fault here, quickly.
"Oh…" He realized. "So that's why the building seemed so familiar."
Some seconds passed.
But she has to admit, when all hell broke loose, it was actually fun to watch.
"WHAT!" Soul screamed to the air, hands gripping his snow white hair and mouth wide open so to better emphasis his horror. He then pointed to her face as if the whole ordeal was solely her fault. "WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME!"
"…my…fault?" Surely, she must have heard wrong. How could this tragedy be her to blame? Maka crossed her arms and tapped her foot impatiently. Damn the moment she forgot her books upstairs! "Wait a second, you were the one who ruined my bedroom's window, now you're going to pay for it!"
"What the- Who the hell gave you the idea of throwing your dammed rock out of the window anyway! Wanted to check if it could fly, was that it?" And then she saw him ponder on a certain subject and reply with another idiotic response, hoping to clear all the confusion with a final sentence. "Y-You're drunker than I am!"
There was a pause. "You don't sound drunk. You don't look drunk either!" She can't have him try and lie his way out of the situation, but even if he was drunk, proving to her why he damaged his own house, it would still be a lie.
And she will not tolerate lies in her presence. Nice try when blaming the booze, but wouldn't he be in a worse situation if he had broken her window and admitted his drunkenness?
She will never understand men. Surely they all had a certain fall for stupidity.
But she remained in silence, settling on rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands instead of rushing towards him and punching his sorry stomach until he freed all the remains of food that were trapped inside. She was just… so tired. Moving more muscles would seem futile seeing as her punches would hurt less than a feather tickling her partner's skin.
"Where-where's your book?" He asked. And while she returned her hands to their previous position, folded on top of her chest, he noticed that she was outside in nothing more but her pajamas. "You forgot it?"
The girl in front of him lowered her arms with a sour face and spun on her heel, calmly walking towards the entrance door of her apartment. "Wait here for a sec'." She said before disappearing behind the wall, a blank expression pasted on her face.
"Where are you going?"
He heard her sweet voice from inside the hallway. "Gonna get my 'Soul Theory' book."
His brain took a moment to process things.
"Oh no you don't! GET BACK HERE!" Maka didn't even had time to react, halting her feet when two strong arms grabbed her by the waist and spun her around so to toss her petite body up on his shoulder and walk away from the stairway in the hall.
She didn't like it, he could tell.
"MAKA-CHOP!"
"Hands… shouldn't… count…" They really shouldn't. There was a reason Maka Albarn used books as weapons, firstly because skulls were no easy matter when it came to 'chopping' them down – a fact he came to understand to a close level after lifting his head and watching his meister writhe in pain, legs drawn under her body, hand clamed in the other and face twisted into one of pain.
Finally! A second effect for the abuse of his poor head! Too bad it wasn't how he imagined it to be, because seeing her now, his previous vendetta sounded so wrong.
"Hey" His body is on auto mode as his arms rise to pet her head and his knees buckle until he's on the same eye-level.
He noticed a lot of things when in this close range: how her hand slowly turned red below the faint light in the hall of the building, how her skin glowed brighter when a certain cloud vanished from the sky and illuminated her skin with moonlight, how the cold hair of the desert night made the-
'heads up Soul' "You look like you went against a door." He stated quickly as to get the images on his head to disappear. "Repeatedly."
She frowned. "Thanks, that helps a lot."
He admits he's not good with words, and apparently not very good with aftermath reactions either. "Pfffft"
"Oi, what's so funny."
Oh nothing, just the image of Maka going against a door and falling to the ground, getting up with a hand over her right eye and hitting her scalp on the doorknob. Then getting up again just to have the other eye hit the door and if it wasn't enough she had to stumble on her feet and land against the doorframe, twice. These thoughts could not be proper of a healthy mind.
She sighed and closed her eyes. "Can we just go home and sleep? Sleep for the rest of the night, sleep for the rest of next day, sleep until my mind's ready to count to the thousandth house of pi."
"Wait, you can actually do that?"
This time she slapped her forehead, hard. "No-yes. I don't know, maybe. If I waste the next moments in my bed rather than outside in this freezing street then maybe I can elude you with my skills, but right now can we please go upstairs and sleep? I'll deal with the damage you made tomorrow." She rubbed her temples while Soul laughed nervously, hand scratching the back of his head.
"Meow"
"God-DAMMIT freakin' CATS!"
Soul couldn't believe what he just heard – and to think that the night before she complained about him not sharing his donut with a stray dog! His head turned to look outside the door, nothing. He got up and peeked at the end of the street, spotting two blurs that resembled two cats in the distance - one purple, one grey. Could that be Blair? Maybe, possibly, he should care more but he doesn't.
Then everything suddenly makes obvious sense behind the real reason of Maka's appearance. Why the rock that bore a resemblance to the one on her bedroom all of a sudden fell from the sky and landed on his back and why the dark stains under her eyes looked a lot worse now than a few hours ago when he left the house.
Now that his eyes were focused on her frame he could note the way her skin glowed in a paler way and how she trembled lightly as the soft air of the night kissed her skin.
He took off his jacket. "Soul?" The black fabric came to wrap around her body like a big blanket, covering the upper part of her body and slowly warming away the cold. He then rose and started walking away. "Where are you going?"
"I'll be right back." He warned with a small smile before jogging to Blair. From her spot on the ground she heard him scream at the cats to not run away, that he just wanted to have a talk with the one who wore golden eyes. In all honeslty, she sincerely hoped his charm with the ladies went into good use here, she sure had none.
Some moments passed and she saw nothing, heard nothing from the end of the street. Tired of sitting on the ground, waiting, Maka choose to crawl her way to the front door and peek to see the results of his 'talk' with the stray cats. She saw him kneeling on the ground and chatting while gesturing with his hands towards her, speaking in a way that was too low to be heard from where she kneeled at. Calmly, like he had all the time in the world.
And Blair listened like a good student, once or twice lowering her head in shame, finally understanding that the one-sided game she kept playing throughout the night did more harm than humor to the girl that wanted to sleep but couldn't. He was being nice and using his charm to have a serious conversation with the cat, and she appreciated every moment with delight, hating herself for her lack of touch in this particular situation.
Soul, only him to have skill where she didn't. She doesn't get it, why he hates to communicate with people that much. In her mind, he has the skill to impress even the most stubborn human being in the world and yet he's spending his time in stupid activities like being vengeful and throwing bricks when he's not supposed to.
She giggled a little behind her palm while the Demon Scythe returned from his small trip, the two companions gradually vanishing as they gained more distance between the two partners. Strange, he looked pleased, like aiding her in this problem was a big deal and he had just saved the world from impending doom. Maybe he did, who knows? Her sleepy brain may have caused the Third Great War and she would have no memory of it.
Suddenly slumber didn't seem like a problem, not if she got to see him and his contempt self more often.
He stopped in front of her with furrowed brows that asked a silent just-what-are-you-still-doing-on-the-ground while she smiled a silly smile. "Come on." He muttered alongside a grunt. A tinge of red adorning his cheeks as well as a shaky hand were presented in front of her. It contented her a lot. "Let's get you upstairs."
"You do realize you're sleeping on the couch for the night don't you?"
The boy grunted yet again. Well he did broke her window, meaning her room is freezing at the moment and she will not spend the night clinging to her bed sheets for dear life. On the other hand, he did aid her, solving her problem where she couldn't. But even so, sleeping on his bed? That seemed so wrong, and for the looks of it, he realized the situation at the same time as her.
"L-Let's ju-just go upstairs ok? It's freezing out here." He frowned. "Great, bet it'll be no better upstairs."
"Say's the one who threw the brick!"
His finger poked her scalp. "Say's the one who hit me with a rock."
"That's not the point." The girl sucked in a breath and leaned against the wall, crossing her legs as her behind found a perfect spot to nest. "Blame the cat, I'm starting to have second thoughts about her." She really was reconsidering to either send her away or tie her to a pole, the higher she could get, and let her stay there until some rules where settled.
She still loves animals. Tomorrow will be a better day and her body will have more energy to complain about the balls of fur and the problems they cause, but even then she will like having the little trouble-maker running from the kitchen to the couch and stay there until the word 'home' replays inside her head again.
Tomorrow Maka will set a bowl of cream on the floor and Blair will happily devour it, spout her thanks and curl on the meister's lap while meowing in pleasure and thanks for the wonderful owner she has.
"Oi, oi! Don't hit the sack here! Come on get up!" He gently nudges her with his foot but the only reaction he gets is a half-hearted moan and a series of curses that he rather not mention to anyone in his lifetime - or else the books are all going to fall on him, literally. "What am I going to do with you…"
"Let's just... Sleep…" She mumbled under her breath, loud enough for his ears to feel.
He grinned and chuckled while picking her up in his arms, nesting her head on a spot near his neck. "What? Finally surrendered to my warmth? I know, I know, I'm so hot that you forgot about the chilly wind-"
"Shut up Black Star."
He should be more than offended by the unneeded comment on his gloat. It's true that he enjoys remarking good things about his self, but not as much as the monkey with a God complex. However, all thoughts were forgotten when she lifted her head just a bit and kissed his temple.
"Thank you."
`»0«´
The next morning she wakes up comfy on a soft mattress, surrounded by sheets that are not her own. But she doesn't mind, because there's a soft rhythm coming from the living room, which she later finds out has being her partner's headphones singing music at twelve in the afternoon, him being not that far away from the sounds.
With one leg dangling from the borders of the couch and the other up on the armrest, one hand holding the remote and the other above his eyes, there he was, sleeping without a care in the world.
Also snoring and drooling like the dog he is. In a good way of course.
And another interesting thing Maka discovered after taking a well needed bath and cooking something edible for the afternoon: the brick he not so graciously launched by mistake was still on the floor of her bedroom. And guess what?
It now works as her paperweight.
The ending? So incredibly lame. I promisse, next one will be better.
I've been absent for quite some time, and it saddens me! A lot of things have been going around, but at least I had the decency to put a story before the end of 2011. Hopefully there will be more!
Hope you enjoyed!
