Hey there!
I finally managed to finish this one shot! Yay!
What you should know before reading:
This fanfic is kinda fluffy xD :D and it is set after 7x15.
House and Cuddy had been together for about two years before they broke up.
The story is proof read by the lovely Jane (LEfan77) who still isn't fed up with being my beta and who also helped me with the title :D Thanks!
A Child's Love
She thought of him when she was lying in bed… alone.
She thought of him when she was watching a film… alone.
She thought of him when she took a bath… alone.
She thought of him when she and Rachel were on the playground… alone.
She thought of him every fucking second!
Cuddy was sitting in her office and was writing an email. It took her twice as long as it usually would due to her recurring thoughts of House.
She missed him. More than she ever thought she could.
But the worst thing was that Rachel missed him as well. She was visiting him once or twice a week but it still bothered her a lot that he wasn't living at their place anymore.
House and the little girl had gotten pretty close in the last few months which made the break-up ten times harder than it already was.
Every time Rachel asked about House, Cuddy questioned herself if it was the right decision to break up with him.
Back then she had thought it was the right thing to do. Not only for her but especially for Rachel. They both needed stability in their lives. They needed someone they could rely on and not someone who takes drugs as soon as a problem appears.
But now – weeks after the break up – she realized that her decision had probably been wrong.
House had moved back in with Wilson, so that he wouldn't get into temptation to take vicodin again and according to Wilson, House's trip back into the junkie-being was a one time thing that just happened because he had no clue what else to do.
She thought about what Wilson had told her and came to the conclusion that she probably was too harsh on him. As crazy as it may sound, House was sensitive. It wasn't easy for him to deal with his feelings. It wasn't easy for him to show feelings. He took the pills because he didn't know what else he should do. He took them to be with her.
The sharp ringing of her office phone startled her and therefore brought her back from her thoughts to reality.
She sighed and picked up the receiver. "Princeton Plainsboro, Dr. Cuddy speaking."
"Hello, Dr. Cuddy, it's Emily Jefferson from Welford School."
When Cuddy heard the name of the woman a sense of worry overcame her. "Is everything alright with Rachel?" She asked. Her voice sounded slightly nervous.
Mrs. Jefferson assured her that Rachel was physically fine but told her that she was currently throwing a tantrum and that she even kicked one of her classmates.
Cuddy got seriously worried. Usually her daughter wasn't like that. Rachel rarely lost her temper.
She told Mrs. Jefferson that she was already on her way to pick up her little girl and that they better just leave her alone. When Rachel was upset she wanted her mommy or House and no one else.
When the call ended, Cuddy immediately gripped her handbag, threw her blackberry and her purse into it and rushed out of her office.
She told her PA to cancel all her appointments for today and then she left the hospital and headed for her car.
Cuddy spotted Rachel sitting on a bench in front of her class. The crying image of her daughter almost ripped her heart apart.
Next to the little girl sat Mrs. Jefferson Who was trying – against Cuddy's instructions – to calm her down which – judging by Rachel's state – wasn't working at all.
When Rachel heard the familiar sound of high heels, she looked up. As soon as she saw her mom, she jumped from the bench and ran to her. "Mommy!"
Cuddy bent down and caught the tiny creature she loved unconditionally and whole-heartedly in her arms. "Hey, baby girl." She lovingly scooped her up. Rachel immediately looped her arms around her neck and buried her head in her shoulder.
"What's going on sweetheart?" Cuddy's hand tenderly caressed her daughter's back.
Rachel didn't answer, she just fastened her grip on her mom and started to cry even harder.
Mrs. Jefferson approached them. "I really don't know what is wrong with her. She won't talk to me… or to anyone for that matter."
"I'm going to take her home." Cuddy said and pressed a kiss on her daughter's hair.
Jefferson nodded. "I guess that will be best."
When the teacher disappeared in class again, Cuddy sat down on the bench. Rachel was still clinging to her. Her little body was shaking due to the crying.
"Do you want to tell me what is bothering you so much?" Her voice was a soft whisper.
Rachel murmured something into her mother's shoulder that Cuddy couldn't understand.
"You have to speak louder, baby. I didn't understand anything."
The girl finally loosened the grip around Cuddy's neck and looked at her mom's worried face while tears were still running down her cheeks.
Cuddy gently wiped them away with the back of her hand. "Tell me what's going on, honey."
"Did… Howse leave because … he doesn't like… me anymore?" Rachel said in between hiccups. The girl's eyes were filled with so much sadness that Cuddy really had to fight hard to keep her own tears back.
"Who put this crazy idea in your pretty little head?" Cuddy's fingers were caressing her cheeks. "He did not leave because of you, baby. He loves you." Cuddy totally was indignant! Where the hell did Rachel get this insane idea from?
"Paula said I'm a stupid, annoying brat and she also said that House left because he do not like my any longer."
When Cuddy heard what her daughter told her an unbelievable anger went through her. How could this girl tell her daughter something like that? She didn't even know House! Why the hell did she say that?
"Don't believe a word that Paula says, Rachel." Cuddy's hands were around her baby, holding her steady so she would not slip down from her lap. "You are a very intelligent young girl and House and I love you very, very much. And nothing will ever change that, okay?"
Rachel nodded but she didn't seem to be 100% convinced. And that's when Cuddy decided to call HIM.
House was currently catching up with the latest episode of his favorite soap when his cell started vibrating. He fished it from the coffee table, checked the ID and pressed the "take the call" button. "I'm about to screw a sexy, young blond, so make it short."
"Whoever you wanna screw, do it later. I need you to come over to Welford school now." Cuddy didn't believe for a second that he was serious about the sexy young blond.
House got worried. "What's going on?"
"Just come over, okay? Rachel and I are waiting for you." And with that Cuddy ended the call.
He immediately gripped his keys and headed for the front door. If his girls needed him he certainly won't hesitate to go to them.
When House arrived at Welford, he could already see Cuddy and Rachel sitting on a bench in the small park next to the school from afar.
He got off his bike, took off his helmet and approached them.
"Hey… what's going on?" He asked when he finally reached his two ladies. Rachel was cuddled up to her mum, her little hands were gripping Cuddy's arm tightly.
"I kicked Paula." The girl looked up at him.
"Who is Paula?" House asked.
"She's in my class. She said I'm stupid… And she said you went away cause you don't like me anymore and cause I'm annoying."
House gave Cuddy a panicking look. What the hell was he supposed to do now? All he could think off was to look for this stupid brat who said this shit to Rachel and destroy her favorite toy.
But he knew this wouldn't do any good to Rachel. Right now she needed to know that she is absolutely was NOT the reason why he moved out from their house.
"Paula is a moron." He finally said after being quiet for a few moments.
Usually Cuddy would have sent him a deprecating stare. She hated it when he used swearwords when Rachel was around. But this situation was an exception. She wasn't going to criticize him, not when he tried to make her daughter feel better.
House sat down next to mother and daughter on the bench. "Do you remember when we were in the cinema watching Ice Age?"
Rachel nodded.
"And do you remember when I took you to the funfair where I bought you so much cotton candy that you threw up in the evening?"
She nodded again, this time a small smile was on her face. "That cotton candy was totally yummy!"
"Do you think that I would have done these things with you if you had annoyed me?" House then asked.
"But why did you go away then?" Rachel's big brown eyes were looking into his.
"Baby, I already told you that Hous…" Cuddy started to say but House cut her off.
"Your mom and I have been living together for 2 years… And we were happy… but then I made a big mistake… I let her down… I wasn't there for her when she wanted me on her side and in a relationship you usually are there for each other… But I screwed it up…. So your mom and I decided that it was better if I moved out again." House's voice was calm and soft.
Cuddy was touched. She really was. She didn't reckon that House would explain it to Rachel in such a calm, rational way and she absolutely didn't reckon that he would say that it was THEIR decision to end their relationship. It actually had been no one else's but HER decision. SHE was the one who had ended it. House never wanted to. Never. But he decided not to blame her, he decided not to give her the fault. He easily could have said. "Your mom kicked me out." But he didn't. Because he wanted to protect Rachel, she didn't need to know everything when it was better for her not to know.
"But I makes mistakes too, House… Last week I broke a flowerpot and mommy said that things like that happen and that I should not cry because of it. She forgave me. So she can forgive you too and you can come back to us."
His lips formed to a small smile. "It's not that easy, kid."
"Why not?"
"Because the mistake I made is really, really, really big."
"Then just tell mommy that you are really, really, really sorry."
"I already told her that but sometimes it is not enough to apologize."
Rachel let go of her mum's arm and crawled on House's lap. She was extra careful of his right thigh. She looped her little hands around his neck and hugged him. "But I miss you sooo soooo much."
Cuddy swallowed and tried to hold back her tears. Watching House and Rachel interact was like balm for her soul.
"I kinda miss you too, stinky pants" House's arm went around Rachel and softly patted her back.
"Mommy?" Rachel turned her head so she was able to look into her mum's eyes.
"Yeah?" Cuddy said and whipped away a tear she wasn't able to hold back.
"Why can't you just forgive House, like your forgave me when I broke the flowerpot?" She murmured into House's shoulder.
"It's not that easy, baby." Cuddy's hand caressed her daughter's cheek.
"Don't you like him anymore?" The facial expression of the little girl told her that she was confused and concerned.
"That's not the reason, Rachel. I still do like House. I like him very much…" Her eyes were on his before she lowered her gaze to her daughter again. "But now we are just friends and we don't live together anymore."
Rachel sighed and snuggled up even closer to House. "But I miss him!"
House's hand caressed the soft hair of the back of her head. "See the positive side, kid… Now you can come over to my place where mommy has no control over you. You can eat as many cookies you want to and you can watch every cartoon you like."
"But I still want you to come back!" Rachel's little arms looped around his neck again.
The realization that Rachel obviously loved House more than she had ever thought was possible made Cuddy's heart ache. She reached out and caressed her daughter's back. "How about we go to McDonald's for late lunch?"
Usually Cuddy tried to avoid taking Rachel to McDonalds. She didn't want her to get used to junk food and to trans fats. She as a doctor knew best what junk food could do to you and she didn't want her daughter to get a heart attack or a stroke before she even reached the age of forty. But as long as the visits at McDonald's didn't pile up it shouldn't harm her health.
Right now she just wanted to cheer her girl up.
Rachel looked up at her mom. "House too?"
She nodded. "All the three of us."
A small smile crept on Rachel's lips.
"I guess that's a yes." House said.
"I want French fries and chicken nuggets and a orange juice and a chocolate muffin!" Rachel said in an overly excited voice.
"We'll order you a Happy Meal and if you are still hungry you will get your muffin, ok?" Cuddy extracted her purse from the handbag.
Rachel nodded.
"In the meantime you can go with House and look for a good place to sit." Cuddy said and then turned to House. "Beef Wrap, French Fries and Coke?" She asked him.
"Jepp and add those cheese things too." House said.
She knew that he didn't order the Swiss cheese hearts for him. They were for her. She loved them but she hardly ever ate them because they were not only breaded but also soaked with oil and she usually avoided eating unhealthy crap like that even though she actually kinda liked it.
Rachel immediately slipped her small hand into House's and looked up at him with a gigantic smile on his face.
"Ready to find the coolest place in here?" He asked the little girl.
"Yay!" Rachel shouted and dragged him to the tables.
When Cuddy came with two full dinner trays to the table, she wasn't really surprised to find Rachel sitting on House's lap.
Since House didn't live with them anymore Rachel was very clingy when it came to him.
Rachel always had been very affectionate to her. In the evenings Cuddy would lay down with her in bed and hold her in her arms to cuddle with her. Rachel loved it and Cuddy did as well. She would not go to sleep until Cuddy was there to cuddle with her and even if it was just for a few minutes. It was their ritual and something Cuddy wanted to maintain as long as possible.
"Here you go." Cuddy said and put down the trays on the table before she sat down next to House.
"Thanks mommy!" Rachel immediately reached for the happy meal bag.
"You are welcome, honey."
House just gave her a nod and reached for his wrap while Cuddy was unwrapping her veggie burger. She had ordered the burger, a Cesar salad as well as a soda.
"We are in a fast food restaurant and you seriously ordered a veggie burger and a salad? In what strange world do you live woman?"
"I live in the strange world in that junk food makes you fat and sick."
"Forget your strange world and eat those" He put the Swiss cheese hearts in front of her.
Cuddy wanted to protest but instead she just smiled. She had known that those cheese hearts were for her but she had ordered them anyway which meant that she actually really would like to eat them.
In the meantime Rachel had decided that the eating process would be less complicated if she would just sit on her own chair. So she was now sitting next to House stuffing her face with French fries.
It wasn't hard to miss that the girl was happy. She was absolutely content to spend time with her mom and her best buddy.
Rachel made a ship from her orange juice and whished that the three of them always could be together.
When they arrived at home at 7pm Rachel was out like light. After lunch they had been at this huge playground a few miles outside from Princeton where Rachel had run around like crazy until she had fallen asleep.
Now House was carrying her inside her room. He softly laid her down in bed and tucked her in. He was about to leave the room when a sudden, quiet "Howse" prevented him from doing so.
He turned back to Rachel. "Yeah?"
"Do you really think Paula is a moron?" Her voice was still very sleepy.
"She is the biggest moron of this planet and of all other existing galaxies."
Rachel giggled, she then extended her arms towards him to signal that she wanted a hug.
House bent down and hugged her. Rachel's arms went tightly around his neck and pulled him closer. Her face snuggled into his neck, something that Cuddy had used to do as well.
"I love you, Howse."
His heart almost stopped when he realized what she just had said. He never had heard that from a kid. He didn't know how to handle this situation. It was absolutely new territory for him.
They broke the embrace.
"Do you love me too?" Rachel asked sweetly.
House swallowed. He suddenly felt a knot forming in his throat. What should he say? What was the best thing to say? What did he even want to say?
She looked up at him with big puppy dog's eyes waiting for him to respond.
"Yeah… I do." His voice was hardly louder than a whisper but it sounded dead serious.
She smiled happily. "And mommy? You love her?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
"I think she loves you too." Rachel exclaimed now much more awake than a few moments ago.
A small smile formed on House's face. This kid absolutely held his heart in her hands.
He stroked her hair for a short moment. "You better go to sleep now… We don't want you to be a grumpy monkey tomorrow."
Rachel giggled once again.
"Nite Howse."
"Sleep well, scamp."
When House entered Cuddy's living room he was kinda surprised to find her sitting on the couch looking like she was on the verge of tears.
He always had hated such situations when they were still together. He had known that he should comfort her but he never had been sure how to do it. And right now he was even more unsure than ever.
"Did she wake up?" Cuddy asked while she wiped away a tear that was threatening to fall from her right eye.
"Yeah… We had a short talk."
She nodded. Then she got up from the couch. "Would you like to have a beer?"
"I better should go before Wilson calls the police and makes them look for me."
"Ok." She was disappointed. She would have liked him to stay. She had to talk to him. She had to tell him so much.
When she looked at him once again she noticed that he made no move to leave the house. Instead he was playing around with his cane.
Then suddenly said: "Rachel told me she loved me."
Cuddy's heart cut capers. She knew that Rachel loved him, she knew that this had to happen but she was surprised and happy about it anyway. She smiled. "When you are not here, all she talks about is you. You are the closest she has ever had to a father and you are good with her. How can she not love you?"
"You know that I'm not a good person for her. She shouldn't love me."
Cuddy made a step closer to him. "But she does."
"I'll just disappoint her."
"Then try not to."
"I tried not to disappoint you… We all saw how well that worked."
He was right. He had disappointed her. He had hurt her. But nothing he had done had hurt her more than the fact that he wasn't with her anymore.
She knew that it had been her choice. She had ended their relationship. She had given up on them but in the meantime she had realized that she was wrong.
"Rachel doesn't expect you to be perfect. She loves you the way you are… With all your kinks and weaknesses…" Cuddy took another step closer towards him. She swallowed. "And that's what I should have done as well… I knew that you had problems with showing your feelings. I knew that it was hard for you to swallow your pride. And I knew that it would take you some time to completely open up to me… but I was impatient. When I was lying in that bed in hospital I felt so alone. I was afraid. I had wished you would come to me… And in the end you came… But you just were there because you took vicodin… and back then I thought it was selfish of you but now I realized that this was obviously the only way for you to cope and to be on my side… It doesn't justify that you took the pills but it explains it and it made me realize that I was wrong…"
Tears started to form in her eyes once again. "I'm sorry, House… I shouldn't have ended our relationship as soon as the first problem appeared. It was the easier thing to do. I thought it would be best… But it wasn't. Neither for me nor for Rachel."
By now a few tears were already rolling down her cheeks. "I miss you, House… Rachel misses you and even my mom does. Every time we meet she asks me where I left that "handsome schmuck" of mine."
Both of them chuckled slightly.
"Your mom is a boozing bitch but she definitely has taste."
Cuddy reached out for his hand, her facial expression got more serious again. "If you still want me… want us… then… "
House didn't let her finish the sentence. He didn't need to hear more. He knew everything he needed to know.
He pulled her closer until her chest was touching his. His right arm went around her midriff and caressed the spot of soft skin that her top was exposing.
"I'll never stop wanting you and your hot body." He whispered before he captured her soft, warm lips with his.
As soon as she felt his mouth on hers, a warm, pleasant feeling spread in her chest.
God… She has missed this so much. His closeness. His lips. His warmth. Everything.
Her eyes fell closed, her hands went around his neck and softly caressed him there.
She had him back… They had him back. She couldn't be any happier.
Her eyes were still half closed when she ran with her naked feet and Bao (her favorite stuffed animal) in her arms across the hall to the room of her mom.
She quietly opened up the door and even tough the room was still dark she sensed that something was different.
Rachel tiptoed closer to the bed. The curtains weren't closed properly, so a ray of light penetrated the room and gave Rachel the opportunity to see what was different:
House!
House was lying in bed next to her mommy!
House was here! Her House!
A gigantic smile formed on her face. She climbed on bed on the side her mom was lying on and laid down so close to her that her nose was touching Cuddy's.
She stirred, cracked open her eyes and smiled. "Hi, baby" She whispered and put her right arm around her baby girl.
"Mommy?"
"Yeah?"
"Is Howse going to stay with us again?" Rachel asked in a whisper.
Cuddy softly caressed the smaller back of her daughter, her smile grew even wider. "Yes… We talked and I forgave him."
Rachel looped her arms around her mother's neck and hugged her tightly. "I love you mommy."
"I love you too, honey." Cuddy happily hugged her back.
And in this moment Cuddy promised herself that she would do EVERYTHING to make it work with House.
They both loved him, they both needed him and they both never wanted to lose him again.
Cuddy softly kissed Rachel's temple, sighed contentedly and fell asleep again sandwiched between her loved ones.
-end-
Thanks for reading
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