Love Like Poison

It was something not commonly known, but Love was something that I hated more than words could describe. It was so stupid: a waste of time and nothing but a way to get hurt. Because it never lasted, and it was always indescribably painful. I knew this from a young age through watching my father and my mother, to the various "relationships" my uncle had, to... well, every day people.

'I'll love you forever,' they say, but apparently Forever is defined improperly in the dictionary, because Forever never seems to last for more than a few years whether the Love is reciprocated or not (and please don't get me into how much I hate unreciprocated Love) unless it's a movie, but those are crap anyway. And then - and oh how Love's victims are surprised every time - they are left hurting and upset and even simple things will make someone in Love cry or feel pain; because the one they Love doesn't Love them anymore, or they never Loved them, or they Love someone else... Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Love is Weakness. It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate Love. [1]

More than anything, I hate it.

I really do-

"Hey Allen!"

Oh shit.

"What's up man?"

Shakily, I shrug and twitch a smile onto my lips.

I hate love.

"So have you finished that paper you were complaining to me about last night? Because if not you totally need to get crackin', and- Hey, are you okay? You're looking pretty red there."

"I-I'm fine."

Lavi smiles, and I think that my heart might be beating so fast at the moment that it's going to burst or maybe I'll go into congestive hart failure due to prolonged atrial fibrillation, just like my Anatomy teacher was discussing last week during class, or something. I must be sick. That has to be it, because I-

A warm hand presses up against my forehead and I'm pretty sure that I look like I'm trying to imitate a tomato I'm so red.

"You sure? Hey, Lenalee. Maybe we should find him a place to sit down. He doesn't look too good."

"No! I'm okay, really! I'm just..."

...stupidly, idiotically, impossibly, somehow - I swallow a lump in my throat and the pounding in my ears sounds like a death toll as I reluctantly restate what I'd admitted to myself a while ago.

'I'm in love.'


So... tada? I don't even know what this is I just had an idea, and so I made an account on fanfiction and posted it.

Let me know if I should continue it or not, yeah? I've never done this before, so I dunno if it's any good or maybe it's very cliche or something unfortunate like that. Feedback please! I'd appreciate it mucho: any and all.

Review?

[1] Most of that chunk of paragraph was taken from a quote by some guy whose name I can't remember. But, it provided my inspiration behind this whole thing and I wanted it in there.