A/N – Alright, here is the next part of the series. I know it's been awhile, so to refresh your memory, Johnny and Lulu are engaged now and Johnny is still working to get control of the Zacchara organization so he can turn it over to Jason. Any other questions you have, feel free to ask. I hope everyone enjoys and please leave me a lovely review!
Chapter 1 – Fears and Forgiveness
Johnny just shook his head and headed for the liquor cart. Trevor had been in his office for a meeting for a little over two minutes and Johnny was already reaching for his best scotch. It wasn't enough that Trevor was annoyingly alive, but he also had to continuously remind Johnny that Anthony was still somewhat in charge. A fact that Johnny was ready to make a thing of the past. And he was almost there.
"You need a clear head, John," Trevor chided.
"Then stop giving me a headache," Johnny snapped.
"I'm only telling you what your father wanted passed along," Trevor replied. "Maybe you could visit him every now and then and hear his messages for yourself."
"Every time I see my father, he tries to tell me how to live my life," Johnny said angrily. "I'm an adult, I can do what I want. So, no, I'm not going to go see him."
"Your father is only concerned that your attachment to the Spencer girl will compromise the business," Trevor explained.
"My father thinks that Lulu is more important to me than the business and he's right," Johnny corrected. "I'm not going to apologize for that either."
"Are you going to apologize to Lulu when you get her killed?" Trevor wondered.
"Lulu is safe and she's going to stay that way," Johnny said adamantly.
"What makes you so sure?" Trevor asked. "Is it because you have so many guards on her that no one could ever get to her? Or that you think none of our enemies will hurt her because they're afraid of what you might do?"
Johnny just glared at Trevor and tried not to let the words effect him. Trevor knew that Lulu didn't have guards on her, not that Johnny hadn't wanted them to be there. They had discussed it once when they finally took their relationship public and again when they had gotten engaged. The first time Lulu just said no and refused to listen to anything Johnny had to say on the matter. The second time they had fought for three days, resulting in Johnny finally giving in because he couldn't stand having Lulu upset with him. He knew he should insist on at least one guard on her, but he let his desire to make Lulu happy compromise her safety.
Then there was the second question. Trevor was constantly reminding Johnny that no one respected him because he wasn't making bold moves with the business. Johnny knew that was probably true, but he refused to do something that could haunt him later. He also knew that if his enemies didn't respect him, they wouldn't think twice about hitting the people he loved just to get to him. Which meant, once again Trevor was right and that Lulu was in danger.
"I protect Lulu in ways you don't know about," Johnny lied. "So you can stay out of my life, too."
"John, she's a liability," Trevor replied.
"I said that's enough," Johnny yelled, slamming his glass down on the cart. "If you don't want to talk about the business, fine, I really don't care to either. But don't mention Lulu to me ever again unless you don't mind paying for it."
"What's the matter, John?" Trevor laughed. "Trouble in paradise?"
"I'm leaving," Johnny sighed, grabbing his keys off the desk.
"We have things to discuss, still," Trevor called, stopping Johnny at the door.
"I'll be back tomorrow," Johnny said, turning around. "Then maybe you can remember who's in charge here and stop patronizing me."
"You can't run from this forever, John," Trevor said, shaking his head. "You're a Zacchara. Pretty soon Lulu's going to be a Zacchara, too. You can't just stop being who you are just because you want to be normal. You aren't normal and you never will be."
"Don't think for a second you know anything about me, Trevor," Johnny replied harshly.
With that, Johnny turned and walked out of the office and stalked toward his car. He was tired of Trevor and his mind games. He needed to go see Lulu and just relax a little for once. He got in his car and pulled out his phone to call Lulu, but was stopped by the text message he received. Jason needed to meet with him.
Johnny just sighed heavily and shifted the car into gear. Seeing Lulu would have to wait a little longer.
Lulu walked into the Metro Court and looked skeptically toward the front desk. Carly was there and as much as Lulu wanted to talk to her cousin, she was also nervous. They hadn't spoken much since Lulu had begun dating Johnny and Lulu wanted to change that. Lulu approached the desk as Carly finished with her customer.
"Hey," Lulu said softly and Carly smiled.
"Lulu, I'm so glad to see you," Carly said, coming around and giving Lulu a hug.
"I hope I'm not interrupting," Lulu said as Carly led her to sit down on the couches in the lobby.
"Of course not," Carly replied. "I've been wanting to call you, but I didn't know if you were still angry with me or not."
"I got over being angry months ago," Lulu shrugged. "I just didn't know how to talk to you when I know you clearly don't approve of me being with Johnny."
"Oh, honey," Carly chuckled. "I'm not going to lie, knowing you're with him makes me very nervous. But only because of what he does. It puts you in danger and I don't like to think of you being in danger."
"I know you're worried, but I'm fine," Lulu smiled. "And I'm happy."
"Well, that is most important to me," Carly said, patting Lulu's hand and noticing her ring. "And you're engaged?"
"Yeah," Lulu admitted, smiling widely. "For about two months now. I figured you heard."
"No, that word somehow has not gotten around," Carly said, still in shock. "I can't believe you're getting married."
"We haven't set a date or anything," Lulu explained. "Actually, there are no details, but there's also no rush. He said he just needed to know I would marry him."
"It's a little crazy to see you get those big love eyes and talk that way," Carly laughed. "How long have you been talking like that?"
"Probably since Johnny told me he loved me," Lulu shrugged. "And I realized I was hopelessly in love with him."
"Love looks good on you," Carly complimented.
"Thanks," Lulu replied.
"Okay, we have a lot of catching up to do, but first I want to give you just one piece of advice about Johnny and then I'll drop the topic forever," Carly said, looking at Lulu for permission.
"Okay," Lulu said cautiously.
"I'm sure you've thought about dealing with a life time of danger and the possibility of raising kids in that lifestyle," Carly started. "And I'm sure you've talked about those things with Johnny and you two have plans of some kind. But I want you to remember that his life is also stressful and sometimes secretive. You're enough like me to hate secrets and being kept out of the loop, so I want you to be ready for that. And also to remember that sometimes you won't be able to help Johnny even when you want to."
"I know you mean well," Lulu said, smiling at Carly. "And I heard you, but it's not like that with me and Johnny. I don't mind not knowing about the business details and he tells me the big stuff because he doesn't want secrets between us. As far as the stress, we're still early enough in our relationship where I can help him with that some. And actually, that shows no signs of changing."
"You seem pretty confident," Carly observed.
"I know how to keep Johnny happy," Lulu said coyly.
"And how is that?" Carly asked with a laugh.
"A lady never tells," Lulu replied, laughing as well.
"Of course," Carly agreed. "So are you free for dinner?"
"Actually, Johnny told me earlier to keep my evening free, so I don't think so," Lulu answered. "But maybe we could do lunch next week?"
"Definitely," Carly nodded. "I know you said there's no rush, but I want to start early in convincing you to have your wedding here."
"Okay," Lulu laughed, giving Carly a hug. "Bye."
"Bye," Carly replied, watching her leave.
Johnny looked around Sonny's warehouse and marveled at how easy it was to get in one. Anyone could enter and Johnny wondered if the Zacchara warehouses had better security. He heard someone coming so he moved behind a crate just in case someone else was in the warehouse. When he saw Jason he stepped out and made his presence known.
"Hey," Johnny called and Jason turned around. "Why did you want to meet?"
"I'm worried about Sonny," Jason answered. "We may need to bring him into the mix."
"We agreed that was a bad move," Johnny argued.
"He's going to know soon anyway," Jason countered. "I think we should get it over with and tell him."
"Look, you know him best, but if he doesn't agree with the plan then he could blow it," Johnny replied. "We can't risk that."
"I don't think he would do anything that could put Lulu in danger and I plan to make it very clear that she would be the one at risk," Jason explained.
"Then you're sure as hell not going to tell him," Johnny said angrily. "If you only think he won't risk Lulu's life, that's not good enough for me."
"Why are you so worked up?" Jason asked.
"You come here and tell me you want to change up the plan and you don't think I'm going to have an opinion?" Johnny questioned.
"I didn't think you wouldn't have an opinion, but I didn't expect to get my head bitten off," Jason said calmly. "What is going on?"
"I just had another confrontation with Trevor and he's getting under my skin," Johnny answered.
"What did he say?" Jason wondered.
"What I already know is true," Johnny sighed. "That Lulu will never be safe with me and that by asking her to marry me, I basically just signed her up for a life of pain."
"Okay, this isn't you," Jason noted. "You're getting out of the business to keep Lulu safe. Unless you've changed your mind."
"No, I haven't," Johnny said, shaking his head. "But I'm starting to realize that no matter where I go or what I do, my last name will still be Zacchara."
"What do you mean?" Jason asked.
"I mean that even if I'm not involved in the business, some people might still come after me just because of who my father is," Johnny explained. "Maybe my father screwed someone over and he wants to come after me for revenge. They don't care that I'm not a part of the business, they just want someone to pay. So they hurt me by taking Lulu away from me."
"You will still have some protection because of me," Jason offered.
"Lulu doesn't even have guards on her now," Johnny admitted.
"What? Why?" Jason wondered.
"She doesn't want them and I'm too weak to force her," Johnny said, pressing his fingers to his forehead. "I'm asking for something to happen to her."
"No, you're not," Jason argued. "You're trying to respect her wishes. Maybe you shouldn't, but that's not being weak."
"Don't make excuses for me," Johnny said miserably. "I've made all of these promises to Lulu and they're all lies. I'll never be a man who can keep her safe. Or our hypothetical children. Maybe I should just stop lying and tell Lulu it's never going to work."
"What you need to do is actually think and stop letting every fear in your mind control you," Jason advised. "And if you legitimately think there is a problem, then you need to talk to Lulu. Not just tell her it's over and break her heart and yours, too."
"I know," Johnny nodded.
"So about Sonny," Jason said slowly.
"Use your judgment," Johnny shrugged. "I trust you."
"It's going to be okay," Jason assured him.
"I hope so," Johnny smiled sadly.
