Oh I'm so happy, so I decided to write a crack story! I still have to work on my other story, and I almost have the chapter done, so don't kill me… unless you were to do it in a gory, weird, evil way…then maybe.

Summary: Things have been strange for Neji lately. Sasuke isn't…right, Sakura is "emo", things have been falling out of the sky, and the normal girl on crack isn't…on crack? When something threatens the village, who will be there to save it?

One Big House
DevilsLittleSister
Chapter One


"ALRIGHT! The spirit of youth shines on you all!" Shouted Gai to his students.

"YOSH GAI-SENSEI! WE CAUGHT ONE!" Lee jumped around with excitement, holding a jar that contained something.

Tenten, still struggling to catch whatever they were supposed to be catching, just sighed. "Lee, calm down or you'll kill the poor thing."

"Tenten!" Lee ran over to his teammate…still shaking the jar. "Do you even know what this is?"

"An ant?"

Lee stepped back in shock. "Tenten! It may be just an ant to you! But to me, it is a sign of life…of youth!" Lee looked into Tenten's jar and snickered. "And you still haven't caught one…"

"Tenten, I am somewhat disappointed…" Neji said, emerging from the darkness. (oO) "We've been out here an hour, and you still haven't caught a single ant…" Neji held up his jar, revealing at least 47 ants all bunched together."

"THAT'S THE SPIRIT NEJI!" danced Gai.

Tenten gave a long sigh. "Honestly, when Tsunade-sama said we would be hunting ants, I thought she meant psychopathic aunts on the loose."

"Oh is that why you agreed to come?"

"YES!" Tenten shot her eyes around her perimeter. "I hate bugs. They're so…crawly. With big beady eyes that look up right at you, and their tiny heads, you never know what their thinking." Tenten gave a shudder. "They could be plotting to bomb the Earth at this moment!"

Neji rolled his eyes and began to collect more ants, until something caught his eye. It was shiny and round, almost like a gem. As he picked it up, he realized it was a necklace, with a big ruby stone hanging from the chain. It looked real, and it baffled him on how someone would just leave it here.

"Hey, Lee." Called Neji. He walked over to Lee holding the necklace up.

"What is it Ne- OH MY GOD IS THAT FOR ME?" Lee pounced on Neji and took hold of the necklace. "Why its so beautiful! Thank you!" Lee hugged Neji as waves came up from the background…with a dark aura around Neji.

Tenten who witnessed the whole thing was in a state of shock. Why couldn't Neji give the necklace to her? She was a girl! She would enjoy that kind of stuff…or at least pretend to. She glare at Neji, thinking that if you stare at someone, they could feel your eyes on them. He didn't turn around, however, the dark aura began to grow.

Tenten started to walk back to her apartment. Maybe she would go see Sakura. Yeah, Sakura always knows how it feels to be rejected. Even though Neji didn't reject her, it just kind felt that way. She hardly even thought of Neji like that, but now she is jealous of Lee. LEE! Something just wasn't right.

"I thought Gaara had the hots for Lee…not Neji." She said just a little to loudly, for she soon felt her feet stick to the ground. She looked down and saw sand all around her ankle.

"What did you just say?" came a dark voice from behind her.

Tenten tried to turn around, but she couldn't. "Um…I said…I was joking?"

She heard the sand move around her, and she opened her mouth for a scream.

Oo

Neji, whose dark aura was within a 50 feet radius, shot up from the scream.

"That sounded like Tenten."

"Who?" asked Lee, who was fondling his new necklace?

Oo

Neji ran to where he heard the scream coming from. Not to long after he started, he stopped. He saw Tenten walking up the street, towards him. Her right eye seems to be twitching.

"Why did you scream?" He said in a blunt voice.

Tenten, whose eye was still twitching, didn't answer. She kept walking until she came closer to Neji. He saw that she had sand all over her body.

"What happened?" He asked again, still blunt, but with a hint of concern.

"I was…" she started, but stopped.

"What?"

"I was…violated by sand." She said, now twitching a little more violently.

The first thought that came to his mind was that she tripped and fell. He thought it over, and realized she said "violated". The next thing that came into his mind was Gaara.

Oo

"Sasuke-kun!" shouted Sakura. She had been walking to the coffee shop, but she saw Sasuke and decided she would give him a little visit. "Sasuke-kun wait up!"

Sasuke turned around and saw Sakura running up to him. He rolled his eyes at the sight. He didn't hate Sakura. He just found her…quite annoying.

Sakura ran up to him, panting. "Sasuke-kun do yo-…"

"No."

"But I didn't even ask…"

"…No."

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

"Oh…hey Naruto."

"…Sasuke-teme."

"Dobe."

"Sasuke-teme."

"Dobe."

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Sakura-chaaaan."

"Sakura."

"SPONGEBOB!"

All three heads shot up, looking for the owner of the annoying voice, which was apparently not there. They looked around for a couple of seconds, until they made sure no one was there.

"…Sasuke-teme."

"STOP!"


That was kind of weird. I doubt this is even funny. I just need to get it out of my system, hehe. Don't worry, the story will develop a plot…or so I say. Reviews are deeply appreciated, as we all know. Be nice. Ja ne!

Chapter 2 Preview:

"Uchiha, where are you talking me?" demanded Neji, as he looked at the hand holding his wrist, pulling him forcefully towards an unknown destination.

"Aww come on Neji-kun! I want to karaoke!" complained a certain Uchiha. (Hmm… there are only 2 to pick from.)

"WHAT?"