But Officer, I'm Not A Little Kid!


Touya sat in the driver's seat of the car, fiddling with the radio while he waited for Jin to come out of the video store. It was summer, and the weather was hot and muggy, making his attempts to keep cool useless. He could use his powers, but that would draw unwanted attention from the human world's residents. He could try the air conditioner, again, but he already knew the damn thing was busted. Curse Kuwabara for selling them the heap of scrap! As it was, Touya had the windows rolled down, inviting a non-existent breeze to pass by until Jin returned. As luck would have it, the wind never came.

'Fuck my life. How hard is it to find something to watch, Jin?' the ice master thought, abandoning the radio and leaning back in the seat, eyes closed as he tried to think of anything but the uncomfortable heat.

TAP TAP TAP.

"Huh?" Touya said, looking to his left. A rather heavyset cop stood next to the car, an amused smile on his face. "Erm, is there a problem, officer?"At this the cop's smile grew even larger, and he barked out a laugh.

"Well aren't you a cute little fella!"the cop said, laughing again. Touya raised an eyebrow at this.

"My apologies, but I'm afraid I don't swing that way."the ice master stated. This time fatso raised an eyebrow.

"Now who's gone and taught you to talk like that? That's not good language for a little kid like you."

"Li-little kid? Officer, I'm over twenty years old..."Touya explained. The cop glanced him over again and looked unconvinced.

"That so?"

"Did I stutter?"

"You sure gotta big mouth for a little runt."

"And you appear to have ingested more than a fair share of fatty pastries in your time."Touya shot back rudely. He was over one thousand years old – definitely well past the child stage. Was that really so hard to see?

"You little-"

"Toy? Somethin' wrong?"Jin asked, approaching the the car with an armful of videos. He dumped them in the backseat and leaned against the car with his arms folded on the roof of the car and his head on top of his arms. The cop looked at Jin and his eyes narrowed.

"Does this kid belong to you, sir?"

"Kid? Toy? Nah – he's my friend, sir."Jin replied, blinking in mild surprise. Touya a kid? Touya wasn't even a kid when he was a kid.

"You see, sir?" Touya said, looking at the officer. He was growing tired of this bullshit – it was too damn hot to be arguing over something like this.

"Yeah. I see a pervert abducting a little kid."the cop replied, nodding towards Jin. Jin jerked upright, taken aback.

"Say what! You think I'm some kinda-"

"Child molester? Yeah, yeah I do think that."the officer cut in, reaching for his gun.

"Sir, I'm telling you – I'm not a little kid."Touya said, growing rather red in the face due to both the heat and his anger.

"How are you gonna prove it, sonny?"fatso said with a sneer.

"For starters, sir, my I.D." Touya responded, pulling his wallet out and showing his license to the cop. The other man looked it over and frowned. Touya smirked, thinking the idiot finally realized he was dealing with an adult.

"The fuck kinda name is Touya? Nice try, kid, now let's get you away from this creep."Touya's eye twitched.

"No. I'm over twenty and this is my friend. You are mistaken."Touya snapped, pulling Jin into the car and starting the engine. The cop grabbed his arm.

"Let go." Touya stated, his eye twitching when the cop refused to comply.

"Outta the car, sonny."

"Fuck off!" Touya screamed, letting his power turn the air around him freezing cold. The cop stared at him in disbelief.

"What the fuck are you?"he yelled.

"Pissed off." Touya said, sending the cop flying into his own car by laying a sheet of ice down on the pavement and shoving fatso backwards. Touya then sped out of the parking lot.

It was several minutes before Jin decided he was brave enough to test Touya's waning patience.

"Toy?"

"Yes Jin?" the ice master's tone seemed tense.

"Ever wonder how much trouble Chu has with cops over Rinku?"