Reflections

Reflections, Dreams and Memories.


I was stuck on my Divide and Conquer series so I just was playing around when I wrote this. Basically Tobias is wondering about how his life has changed.

Reflections, Dreams and Memories.


You know, before I was an Animorph my life had no meaning. I mean, think about it! I wasn't getting good enough grades , i was being bullied, I had nobody that cared about me and I felt as if life was nothing but a game that my opponent was playing with loaded dice. i had never been very lucky and I thought that | was losing this game, this game of life. Losing isn't dying, for if you die with honor then you won't really be dead because your fame will be remembered and you will survive in other peoples hearts. The way I felt those days, it was as if every day pushed me closer to the edge of an abyss, that I had no future. I could even think about what would happen after I got out of school. My grades weren't good enough for a scholarship and my relatives didn't care enough about me to pay for me to go to college. I was as depressed as someone could be without being drunk. Or maybe I was drunk, drunk on sorrow.

Now I know that people care about me. Jake wouldn't want to lose a member of hie troops', Cassie is just so kind that she would like anybody whose life was as screwed up as mine, Ax is my shorm, uncle and closest companion, Marco makes a lot of jokes about me but he likes me deep down inside and Rachel oh man Rachel!

Back in the old days, Rachel would have been out of my reach. I mean she has silky blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, a nice figure, a dazzling smile, great fashion sense and she isn't just some dumb blond, she's smart too. While I.....lets just say that I was as far down the social ladder as she was up it. Now however, I'm a red-tailed hawk that occasionaly eats road-kill and garbage. Is that a step up or a step down the social ladder? Doesn't matter. These days, I feel as if I'm so far apart from that kind of stuff, as if it doesn't apply to me. All i know is that when Rachel and I are flying on the thermals, so high and so effortlessly I fell so happy that it feels as if I will burst if i don't let it out. So I swoop down while screeching loudly so the world will know how happy I am.
That old saying about happiness coming from being with the people you love is true for I love Rachel heart, body and soul.

Family. One tiny yet important word. My father loved me, I know he loved me. My father was a hero in the war and I saw him and he saved me when I thought I was dying. He saved by telling me to live for my old despair at being shown all of memories by Taylor had returned. If i had survived with that despair eating at my heart I would have become another Alloran or Arbat. My mother loved and I don't what happened to her. Maybe she died but that isn't what scares me. What scares me is the idea that she's a Controller, that my own mother is one of the enemy. Even in that thought I can find hope for if she is I will set her free like Marco did with his mother.

Yeah, the war hasn't be good. I've had to kill innocent people that were Controllers. I've been trapped as a hawk. I've killed other animals and eaten them raw. I've eaten garbage and roadkill. I was captured and tortured but when I think of my old despair and of my new happiness, I can't truthfully say that I am sorry to be an Animorph for being chosen to defend the earth shows me that I am not as pathetic as everyone thought I was.

For I am an Animorph and I will fight the Yeerks with my friends forever.

So, what do think? Hate it? Love it? Please review it anyway. Kind of a depressing start I know but I was depressed. I'll get the next part of Divide and Conquer out as soon as possible.