January 19, 1941
Dear Mr. Rabbit,
I have really enjoyed our interactions over the past few months. Since I have my days off, would you like to come over for a short visit? I'll even make more of the carrot cake; I made some yesterday and it was delightful, just as expected.
Just let me know, and I'll arrange a time for us to meet.
Sincerely,
Jessica
Her apartment was cramped. There was no other way to describe it - the kitchen merged into the bathroom merged into the bedroom which was also the living room - that was the way of studio apartments, of course, but this one in particular... It was more than she should have expected, considering how much she was able to pay, and it was just enough in case she needed to bring a client back here instead of going to their place.
All in all, it was better than nothing, so she loved it.
Jessica sat on the floor, leaning up against one of the walls - yes, she had furniture, but she rarely used it unless guests were around - and reread her newest attempt at a letter. She wasn't worried whether she was being too forward or not; Roger had already invited her to at least one party, and although she had turned down his invitation, that gave her the leeway to extend this one. At least, in her opinion, it did.
The question was if she wanted to send it or not.
Her eyes scanned the words once more before she leaned her head back against the wall, letting the hand holding the letter drop into her lap. She tucked one leg underneath her. Too many men came through her life for various reasons - none of them good. An equal number of women came through - and although there had been one exception, there had been another far more painful than the rest combined.
Jessica closed her eyes and remembered the Toon with the pink hair and the lips that curved into the crooked smile and the whispered words of love and freedom. She hadn't cared about the love, not then, but the freedom she craved even now. In her memory, the Toon's bare fingers traced her cheek, and although she hated her, somehow she missed her. That always surprised her.
Although Roger never made such promises, although he'd stepped in to save her from such pain and disgrace and often wrote of the way things were in his world, the way things could be in hers, Jessica couldn't help but remember the dark way one of her other lovers said the same things - promises she'd never intended to keep. Then again, Roger had never once made any sort of move on her. The most he'd done after that first moment was send her letters, the collection of which she'd stowed away somewhere secret and safe where none of her clients or possible ones might ever notice them.
She opened her eyes and crumpled the letter into a ball, throwing it across the room into a wastepaper basket where a pile of others rested. It was not in her to send the letter, despite the many, many times she'd written and rewritten it. Right now she was too worried that this could turn into something horrible to make that sort of move, because if it all fell apart, if it all became exactly as she thought it might-
Then she'd only have herself to blame.
