The Impossible Girl
a short story by J. Merrick
Timeline and spoiler warning: all the way through 'The Name of the Doctor.'
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.
Summary: There were a few times, though, that she met the man that would one day introduce her to this world and he actually acknowledged the whispers that were drowning her shouts out. That one day at Gallifrey, when she changed the course of Time itself.
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She was living and dying all throughout time and space, all at the same time.
Every place that the Doctor had ever had a small impact, an echo of her was birthed so as to make sure that the scales were tipped back in the right direction.
She was everywhere and nowhere at once, and it hurt every time she had to watch her Doctor run by without acknowledging her.
There were a few times, though, that she met the man that would one day introduce her to this world and he actually acknowledged the whispers that were drowning her shouts out.
That one day at Gallifrey, when she changed the course of Time itself.
This is Clara Oswald, and this is just one of her stories.
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All of her very short life people had been telling her that she was an impossibility, which when it comes to Time Lords is a very big deal, indeed. While her parents had never left Gallifrey – one of her mother's biggest regrets as she was forced to burn through her regenerations so quickly that she was now withering away in her final – and had preferred to stay on as scholars, they knew from the moment of her birth that their child was different than a normal Time Lord.
At first it was because she had been born when neither of her parents had indeed been expecting a child, indeed their doctor had termed that she had seemingly 'appeared on the time womb as if by chance.' Then, as she got older, and as most young time lords showed that their minds were starting to take on the properties of having prepared for multiple life times, the young Time Lady wasn't. Instead, it appeared as if this child of Gallifrey had been born with what was assumed to be impossibility: she had one life.
The girl who was born as if she had just appeared, and had been born with only one life. An impossible girl.
For many years her parents and the scholars of Gallifrey denied it, against everything the doctors said. The Time Council had even decreed that no one was to talk about this impossible child, because she was just that: impossible. There were many theories of course about what to make of her, but no one could agree on anything.
Then the third impossibility happened: she started being able to sense things around her, as if she knew what was coming. It started small, with things that every parent notices in their child and assumes to be special: knowing when they were walking down the hallway or when her parents were hiding something with her. A good sense of her surroundings perhaps, but nothing impossible certainly.
Then when she was but four she told her Dad to be careful because he was going to fall down the stairs. Of course it was laughed off later when her Dad did, but after two years of his little impossible Time Lady telling her parent's things that were to happen later that day they were not laughing anymore. Now they were concerned again, but as they already held the mantel of being the parents of the impossible child they weren't sure they wanted to give even more proof to what they had created between them.
It was when she was six years old that her parents finally, completely acknowledged the gift that their child had. Because was so far into her twelfth regeneration, her mother had to be careful to make sure that she did nothing that might put her in harm's way, thus it was a rare day indeed when she would risk going out to the park with her daughter. There simply was too much danger of something accidentally going wrong. As they were getting ready to leave the house, she noticed that the young child had the look upon her face that she normally got when she was about to 'see' something.
"We're going to meet Susan today," the little girl said, "We're going to meet Susan and her mad Grandfather."
This was interesting, because normally the little girl only 'saw' things that were to happen to her immediate family, she never 'saw' those outside of their little circle. With apprehension her mother brought her to the park where on the swings was a small girl her own age, and besides her was a young time lord that was obviously well into his first regeneration.
"Why hello," the man said as she ran up to the swings, "who are you?"
"I'm Clara," she said. The man smiled down at the young child, and her mother never forgot the words that came next.
"Hello Clara, I'm the Doctor," the man replied, as her mother recognized the infamously underachieving Time Lord, "This is my granddaughter, Susan."
Her mother watched as she gained a new friend, the impossible girl and the granddaughter of the outcast. She talked to the Doctor, who found him to be an amusing man, trying to act all old even though it was obvious to all that he was but a young man. All the while she kept thinking back to what Clara had said earlier, about how they were to meet Susan and her 'man Grandfather.'
The Academy needed to hear about this.
Thus Clara was studied by the doctors, and the scholars once again. The impossible girl that sensed the future. No long was she not to be talked about; instead she was to become protected. She had but her one life as far as the Time Lords could tell, and if she could sense the future then they couldn't risk her falling into the wrong hands.
For the six year old Clara, it only meant that she would not see her new friend Susan or her mad Grandfather for many years, as the Doctor certainly wasn't someone the Time Council wanted near their impossible girl.
It also meant that she only got to see her mother twice more in her life. The pain of losing her little girl earlier than the age of eight had proven to be too much for the withering woman, and she passed on into the Time Stream right before Clara turned seven. It was at her mother's funeral the last time she saw her father, who had agreed to go to a remote station far off Gallifrey to help study a Time Schism.
Thus passed the loneliest year of the impossible girl's life. She was often found staring out a window, watching Time Lords and Time Ladies walking through the many gardens of Gallifrey, wondering why she had to be different. She wanted to play with Susan; she wanted to see her mad Grandfather again. It was not to be, as every day she was met with more and more scholars who had come to seek the 'wisdom' of the young girl, the girl who could look at a Time Lord and know how their Time Loom was progressing.
It was an anticipated event within the Time Lord society when Clara was to look into the Untempered Schism upon entering the Time Lord Academy. It was wondered and theorized and guessed at what would happen when the impossible girl would gaze into the Vortex.
What wasn't anticipated, but should have been by the scholars, was that when a Time Lord gazed upon the Vortex, the Vortex also gazed upon them. When Clara gazed upon the Vortex, expecting pain, none came. Instead the comforting of the Vortex itself looked back upon her.
She never told anybody what happened in that moment, but it was in that moment when she made a pact with both herself and the Vortex that she knew had to be fulfilled. The day would come when she was to push her friend and her grandfather in a different direction than the one they were intending to take. It was the purpose for which she was born, the purpose for which she had been granted to her parents.
It was for this reason that the Vortex smiled upon her and let her know more of its secrets than it had any other Time Lord. The Vortex knew that she was special, and made her sharper. It unlocked the Schism in her mind.
She quickly became known for taking on the name of the Clairvoyant, for she could see the Threads and the Looms of time better than any Time Lord had before. She was not allowed to attend the Academy in the same way as her peers, she was too important for that.
But just as the scholars and the Council had not anticipated that the Vortex would smile upon her, they had forgotten to anticipate that someone who could see Time better than any other Time Lord could also know how to evade her minders better than any other Time Lord.
She progressed in the Time Academy; the only friend she had been allowed to take was that of a young Time Lady by the name of Romanadvoratrelundar. She smiled at the young time lady sadly every time they met for she knew that while she had many joys to come, they would be followed by many hardships.
She knew the entire Time Lord race was to be followed by intense pain in the coming centuries, but she dare not speak it. She knew that she wasn't here for the purpose of preventing that pain, she was here to make sure that time stayed the way it should, for the mad grandfather of Susan was important to Time.
It came after her tenth year in the Time Academy, the day she had been born for. Her senses had been alerting her to a disturbance that had not been allowing her to sleep. Something was wrong with time, and it felt plain wrong. Knowing that she had but moments to spare, she rushed out of her room towards the official repair wing for all older model TARDIS'. Time was crying out to her that it had been disturbed, and it was pulling at her soul.
She ran into the hall as she saw Susan and her Grandfather walking down the hall and into a TARDIS that just seemed wrong.
"Doctor!" she called, hoping that the man would stop and not think her to be an interloper. Instead, he responded with impatience.
"Yes, yes, what is it," he said, gazing upon the special project to the time council, "What do you want?"
"Sorry," she responded, knowing that the man had no reason to trust her, "But you're about to make a very big mistake."
The older Time Lord gazed upon her, recognition of Clara, the Clairvoyant starting to spread across his face. For as much as he didn't trust the Time Council, he knew that the Clairvoyant was different. For she was impossible. She took a breath, not wanting this moment to end, the moment that she was born for.
"Don't steal that one, steal this one," she finally plowed ahead, leaning against the outside of a machine that felt oddly familiar and right to her, "The navigation system is knackered but you'll have much more fun."
Her purpose was done.
For anything else that she did in her life, and she would do much more glorious things, the impossible girl had fulfilled her purpose.
As she turned around and walked away she stopped and faced the Doctor again.
"Oh Doctor?" she asked, getting the older Time Lord's attention again, "Can you do me just one favor?"
"Yes?"
"Run you clever boy," she said, breathlessly, like she had been waiting centuries for this, as if she had said it many times before, "Run you clever boy, and remember me."
She didn't wait for his reaction, instead turning around and walking away before she could be discovered.
She had introduced the Doctor and his TARDIS.
Time was right, again.
.
That one day at Gallifrey, when she changed the course of Time itself.
There were a few times, though, that she met the man that would one day introduce her to this world and he actually acknowledged the whispers that were drowning her shouts out.
She was everywhere and nowhere at once, and it hurt every time she had to watch her Doctor run by without acknowledging her.
Every place that the Doctor had ever had a small impact, an echo of her was birthed so as to make sure that the scales were tipped back in the right direction.
She was living and dying all throughout time and space, all at the same time.
