I hope you know just how I feel, Dad
I am going to die, that part is clear
But before my last breath, and nearing death
There's somethings I would like you to here.
I don't really blame you, but what can I say?
We all make mistakes Dad, Some of them bad
And several have been made today.
Mistake number one is plain to see
my Mum, your wife died, both you and I cried
but in your eyes the mistake was me.
The date on her grave is the same as my birth
never learnt her name, and love mixes with shame
as I was born as she left the earth.
I never thought you would make my heart break
I trusted you, didn't know what else to do
and that was the second mistake.
I loved to watch that girl, Maximum Ride
I never forgot, she was special – I was not
and for that, Dad, I cried and cried.
She was beautiful, flawless, perfect design
but I hated her more, than ever before
when your hand was in hers and not mine.
For you Dad, I was the best I could be
strong, brave, tough, but that wasn't enough
'cause I saw you leaving, without me.
What you did then cannot be undone
To my dismay, you and her ran away
you did this all to your own son.
You left me in the hands of pure hate
Those men back at the school, so bitter, so cruel
And you knew about me, the monster they would create
They changed me right down to each bone
My blood, my voice, I had no choice
I am new, different, mystery – unknown.
I felt pain, rage, anger, and fear,
and hate that felt so bad, hate I didn't know I had
hate that filled each heartbeat, froze each little tear
I hate myself now, I must confess
as now it is clearer, when I look in the mirror
all that's left of me is a mess
What they did, you weren't there to see
now I ask out loud, are you proud
to know that you helped to destroy me?
You made me realise in a painful way
that you didn't love me too, like I always loved you
and I couldn't, just couldn't make you stay.
The wolf DNA in my blood makes me stronger
I love to kill and fight, I don't care if it's not right
I won't listen to you, as you are my father no longer.
What you did Dad was just so unfair
The sadness took control, it seared my soul
And my heart is now damaged beyond repair
I envied max and I hated max, but I loved her alot
I picked petals of a daisy, driving myself crazy
Which one; I love her? I love her not?
What happened next? I still don't understand
Why you came back after those two years, to wipe my tears
And once again, to hold my hand.
And Max was still alive but not with you and me.
I wish she would leave us alone, so we could be on our own.
But then I realised it was it was you that would not let Max be.
You said you were sorry and I believed what you said.
But then I looked into your eyes, and saw more lies.
And I didn't care, I just wanted Max dead.
But then suddenly after years and years
Of hate and pain, aimed at each other again and again
She set my mind free and banished my tears.
The feelings I felt for her were completely new.
It was feeling that she cared, and knowing that we shared
Another feeling – the same hatred for you.
Pain, hatred, a desire to kill
A set fate, an expiration date
You don't know what it's like and you never will.
What did I do wrong dad, just what did I do?
I don't understand you still, and I guess I never will
I'm confused to even stand here and look at you.
Now my death is really near
It clouds my mind, my thoughts begin to unwind
Nothingness and pain are the only things that are clear.
My life was filled with pain, and hurt and fear and hate.
I hope you survive, and live and long and happy life
But remember it's your fault I don't get to see eight.
I can hear Max's voice, but I can't see her face
I can feel her breath, she's scared of my death
I hope I will see her again in a happier place
She's gone now and you are here to say good bye
You whisper in my ear, and I can feel a tear
Well, good. I'm glad I made you cry.
I hope you know just how I feel Dad.
