Okay, Can I just say, I really have no idea what I'm doing, writing this XD

I just beat OFF, again, for the fourth time, and I guess it finally got to me. I had to write SOMETHING, so here we are! Writing an OFF story with a not-self-insert Player who might as well be a self-insert, on my mobile. This took me two hours and, no, I didn't proof read it. If I get any views or anything, I might just reread, get a beta, and rewrite this.

Anyways, have fun with this scribble and let me just inform you, Archive of our own seems to have some more fics that aren't on here. Thought you'd like to know


Welcome, Player

You have been assigned to a being called, "The Batter".

Batter has an important mission. Be sure that it's accomplished.

We will drop you off at Zone 0.

Good Luck.

For more information, find the one called the Judge.


She was thin and tall, though not as tall as the batter, with thick thighs and a confident stance. Her blond, almost white, hair was braided back out of her face, and just touched her shoulders blades. A hat shaded her face, much like the Batter, but unlike Batter with his blank expression, a cocky smirk that matched her stance could be seen from under the white hat. White short-shorts and a tight white tank top left little to the imagination, but the 2 sizes too big sweater lying undone on her shoulders could easily remedy that. The only things keeping the woman from disappearing on a white backdrop was the sweater, being black, and the slightest pink tint of her skin.

She was nothing like he had imagined his player would be, yet at the same time, she exactly what he felt he should have expected.

They both strode forward to meet at the center of the metal platform, stopping a little less than a meter away from one another. "You're the Batter?" She asked, though by her expression and the way she said it, she already knew the answer.

"You're my Player." He responded in kind. Her smirk turned into a grin.

Tilting her head up to look at the tall man properly, she allowed her unit to glimpse her face, wide childish brown eyes gleaming up at him. "It's good to meet you, Batter." He gave a simple nod in reply. She giggled slightly. "Glad to have a partner that won't talk my ear off, for once. Let's go find the Judge." She tugged her hat snugly into place, hiding her eyes from the world.

Curiosity rose in the Batter, but he ignored it and followed Player, gripping his bat tight in preparation, and watching as the blond braid bounced from shoulder to shoulder. Omnipresent and all-knowing as his player must be, they probably wouldn't appreciate such simple questions.

He saw the Player stop and tensed, waiting for their first fight, but frowned when all he saw was a cat leaving the building in front of them. Seeing the pure white coloration and sharp grin though, he didn't let his guard down.

"There cannot be any other living beings in zone 0, so I must assume that you are only a mere figment of my imagination." The Player snorted in amusement, and glanced back at a seemingly baffled Batter. She looked back and shrugged to herself; she had seen weirder in her travels. "Nevertheless," The cat continued. "I will introduce myself. I am the Judge, and I am aching to know your name, dear illusory interlocutor."

Batter opened his mouth to respond, seeing as his player needn't answer such a basic question, but she beat him to it, placing her hands on her hips confidently. "I'm the Player, assigned to Batter to assist him on his sacred mission."

"Even though you are but an inexistent apparition in my eyes, it is a pleasure to meet you." The cat replied, purring quietly and barely glancing at the man standing by the Player.

"I believe we are in need of your services." Batter spoke, stepping up to his player's side.

"Many people are in need of my services, you know." The Judge said, glancing slyly up at the man. Slinking towards them, he stated, "Everybody loves cats." Winding himself around the bemused woman's ankles, he purred all the louder. "We rub ourselves against their legs and purr in the most insistent manner. They adore that~" He pressed his head against Batter's leg.

"I'm not talking about that kind of help." Batter's voice was tight, not knowing whether he could trust the creature so close to the Player.

The cat slipped forward and sat ahead of them, looking at them from behind him. "I see... but what sort of service could I offer to an ectoplasmic entity?"

"I have a sacred mission to fulfill. I must purify the world." His player seemed to inflate a serious look crossing her face as her respect for the man beside her grew. Many would fin the goal laughable, but she took pride in being a part of it in this world.

"There is no objective more laudable than yours." The Judge responded with a flat tone, either not believing it possible, or still not believing in their existance at all. "I accept to serve you as a guide through this area, if it is of any help to you."

"Thanks."

"Yeah," Player laughed. "But I made sure to ask questions before being sent here. We won't need too much instruction."

The Judge nodded. "Be that as it may; I will meet you ahead."

The two stood and watched as the cat walked away, curiosity gnawing at the Batter's stomach. Maybe one or two questions couldn't hurt.

As though reading his mind, Player turned to him and smiled crookedly. "You know, you can ask me anything you want. If I can answer it I will."

Batter looked away from her, almost embarrassed that she caught him so easily."If you insist..." He only continued when he saw her nod, ignoring the amused look on her face. "Before, you said partner... why?"

She seemed to recoil in surprise. "That's your first question?" She asked rhetorically, sounding incredulous. "Or course we're partners! I might be the supposed all-powerful one, but where would I be able to go without you?" She laughed. "In this world, I'd be doomed without you!" His player strode forward, before turning to look back at him, 100 wat smile on her face. "C'mon, walk and talk."

He jogged forward to meet her long strides, and followed her without question as she entered the building in front of them, and not in the direction the Judge went in. From her pocket, he saw her extract a note pad, and a pen. "If I know worlds like this, we're gonna need to write this down." He looked up to see what she was frowning at, and proceeded to frown as well when all he saw was a series of numbers written on the wall.

"You've done this before?" He found himself asking, and bit his tongue, hoping he hadn't miss spoken. One never knew with the players.

"Hmm?" She looked up from her pad, and blinked at the man. "I'm sorry, could you repeat that?"

He fidgeted, slightly uncomfortable with her frowning at him. for all he knew she could be glaring. "I asked if you had done this before." He repeated, not letting his nervousness bleed into his tone.

"Oh." She laughed slightly. "My behaviour must be a little baffling to you, isn't it? Yeah, I've done this dozens of times. Granted, thesystem and puzzels, security if you will, aren't always in the same system, so I've just taken to going everywhere and writing everything down."

Dozens of times? He pressed his palm to his shoulder briefly, trying not to feel disheartened. Another though crossed his mind as they left the empty room once more. "If you've done this so many times, you must be good."

She smirked up at him. "I guess. I know there are others that are better, but I've never failed a mission in my life." Her face was full of pride, grin spreading across her face almost as widely as the Judge's own. "Can you check the box over there? I'll start climbing." She pointed over to the wall on their left, and curiously, Batter did as she said and rounded the corner. Sitting there innocently, was a chest, the same yellow color as the rest of the zone. He frowned, wondering how she could have seen it from where they were, before passing it off with a shrug. All-seeing appeared to be more literal then he assumed.

Ascending the stairs, Batter met Player the top. She grinned at him, not having really waited at all, before approaching the cat once more, Batter one step behind.

The Judge cocked his head to the side. "Allow me to confess that I find you quite tangible for a phantasmagorial being." A fan-what? Batter furrowed his brow, hidden under his cap. Was that even a word? If player's amused smirk was anything to go by, probably not. "Might you in fact be a creature of flesh and blood?"

"I think so, yes." Batter responded, not really knowing how to answer a question like that. Of course you were flesh and blood! He quickly stopped Player from pinching herself, not wanting her to hurt herself just to make fun of the thought of her not being real.

The Judge nodded along, a wonderfully curious tone leaking into his voice. "So I have been mistaken from the beginning. You did not even interrupt me in my deluded phantasms..." Player snorted, but didn't say anything. "This is relatively bizarre. I must say, for you are the first living being I was given a chance to encounter in this lieu. I had in fact concluded that zone 0 was an empty land. Obviously I was misled."

The player turned to the batter and said, "That probably means you can relax for now. We won't be running into any foes quite yet." He nodded, but only relaxed marginally, keeping his sights on the cat before them. Only the player could be trusted explicitly.

"However, there exists other zones."

"I think we're aware of this." Player cut in, speaking Batter's mind for him. "There are very few goals of purity in which fighting is avoidable."

"Of course." The Judge nodded in acknowledgement. "Would you like me to teach you the art of violent confrontation?"

Batter, already knowing how to fight, looked to his Player for the answer. With so many 'systems' for her to have learnt, she might prefer a refresher. However, his player shook her head. "I've got that part down already." She smirked, "And as much as I like beating cats, it's really not necessary." Player tapped the side of her head and pat Batter on his arm, tearing his attention away from the creature before them. "I've done this enough times to know all of the systems, it's just a matter of which one this is. Anything I need to know, I'm sure Batter can fill in for me." She smiled up at the face she couldn't see.

"Well, I will hope that you truly know what you are doing and that your arrogance doesn't precede you." The judge responded with a tilt of scorn, but mostly colored in amusement, as though he couldn't /wait/ to see how that turns out for the two. "However, your training has not reached its end you. Let me ask you to follow me, if you still want me as you guide."

The cat proceeded all but disappear in front of them. Batter, however, decided it was worth the effort of thinking about. "Should we bother?"

Player laughed. "Well, considering this is the only way out right now, I'd say we should." He nodded, stepping up to the ladder first.

The woman held back a laugh, knowing why he was going first. It was gentlemanly, but she couldn't help but mess with him. "You're going first?" He nodded wordlessly, but glanced shortly at her bare legs before averting his eyes. "But what if I fall?"

"I... I hadn't thought of that." He admitted. stepping back from the ladder, Player couldn't help but feel a little bad. He was taking her life as his responsibility, and maybe a little too much so. She shouldn't tease him on something he took so seriously.

"Hey, I'm only teasing." She smiled. "It was nice of you to consider modesty, but honestly, I don't really care. And I'm not about to fall when I haven't even been here for half an hour." Moving behind him, she pushed him forward, stifling a laugh when his arms whipped out as though he needed the balance. "Go ahead, I'll be right behind you."

When they reached the roof, Player guided him to the stairs heading downwards. In the room they entered, the Player immediately headed for the center of the room, Batter watching from the sidelines. She immediately noticed the numbers on the walls. Ignoring the presence of the Judge, she wandered about the room, examining the floating bricks. As soon as she reached the one in the top left corner of the room and touched it, it went translucent and she let out a victorious cry. "It's this system!"

Quick as a bunny, she dashed from cube to cube, turning each one translucent in an order only she seemed to be aware of. The staircase behind the Judge was suddenly unblocked, the bars surrounding it disappearing into thin air. Batter unquestioningly followed her down the stairs after the cat. "I love systems like these." Player was saying. "So simple, yet sometimes, so difficult to figure out. absolutely brilliant!" Her muttering didn't make it much easier to understand what she did.

The next room was much like the last, only, the blocks were in the center and there were more of them. "Alright," Player cracked her knuckles and grinned at her partner. "I guess I should explain this time." Griping his sleeve, she dragged him to the center of the room, facing the wall that had 3 numbers on either side of it. "1, 2, 6, 8, 2, 3. Obviously, this means something of significance. Now behind us, are eight blocks, and as we can see on the wall, all of the numbers range from 1-8. You with me so far?"

He believed he understood what she was saying so far, so he nodded. He just didn't know where she was going with it.

"The first number, is 1. So, here's what we do. This, is the first block." She turned and placed her hand on the block closest to them and the cat. It turned translucent. "The second number is 2, so we move on to this one." She touched the one next to it and it started bobbing in place, but didn't change opacity. "Number three is 6, so we need to touch the 6th one. however, if we were to touch this one," She reached and touched the one in front of him. They all became solid again. "Obviously, that's the wrong block. You still with me?"

"Yeah, but why didn't the second one change like the first?"

"That," She smiled, glad he was keeping up. "Is because we're gonna use it twice. See," She pointed to the other side of the wall. "Over there is another 2, letting us know, we'll be pressing it again. Now, Just a sec..." She darted around the puzzle, pressing blocks until she was back to 2, and he watched as it became just like the others she pressed. "Now, if you'd be so kind as to push the one in front of you?" He nodded and laid his hand on it, watching as all of them followed in suit and became clear. at the same time, the bars disappeared again, and the Judge followed the steps.

"Ahaha, finally! After all that exertion, the eagerly awaited recompense makes its entrance to the scene!" Batter growled slightly as the Judge, who has done nothing as of yet, walk off to the cat food conveniently placed in the room.

Player pat his arm, and strode into the middle of the room once more and soon frowned. "No numbers..." examining the boxes in the room, Player snorted and pulled out her note pad. "Knew we'd be needing this." She mumbled, before entering the code into the phone-like positioned blockes "4, 4... 8... 2... 8, 7, aaaand 0." And just like that, the puzzle was complete. Batter no longer felt put out that she had been sent to so many others before him. If that was why she was able to do what she was doing so well, then he would consider it a blessing that she was passed on and selected to assist him. "Want to head out the door to the right and get the item? I'll go figure out the next thing we need to do."

Nodding in agreement, and frowning at the cat as he walked by, Batter headed out the way he was instructed.

One Silver Flesh later he was moving back the way he came, and his frown deepened when he saw the cat wasn't there anymore. He quickened his steps. If that creature had done anything to his player-

"-by the contrast of bad taste it imposes on your view of it's clashing color, defying any sensible course of plastic arts." Batter slowed to a halt beside the blond woman, glaring somewhat at the Judge who didn't even pause to look at him. "However do not judge it too quickly, becasue despite its criticisable appearance, this red cube is of undeniable use."

The Player sighed in annoyance, impatient and fed up with the things she made sure to find out before starting the journey at all. "Excuse me, but Iam aware of what the red and the yellow cubes do. Through it, we should be able to reach zone 1, and all those after it, as well as nurse our wounds, and take a break in our progress."

"Well then, I invite you to try it out, in order to discover locations more populous than this deserted land." Ignoring anything else the cat had to say, the Player wait for the event where she would get what she needed to continue. Taking the card, with a picture of the sign Leo, she listened with half an ear as he told her, "That she and consult him at anytime in their travels when they see each other again".

Looking up at the Batter, she smiled and they nodded at each other, both walking forward to lay a hand on the box. Maybe now, the Batter thought, he could actually start being of use to his Player.


Ugh, doing bold and Italics hates me on copy-paste. oh well. I guess I'll fix that lter, when I, maybe, rewrite it. Now, time to write the stories peole are waiting on. *sigh*

*edit* AHAHAHA new laptop, did all of the bolding and stuff I couldn't before. Gonna Beta and edit and all of that good stuff now. Because I have lovely reviewers~