Character List
Odd Della Robbia- Chris Lowell
Ava Sanchez- Lauren Conrad
Robyn Witaker- Scout Taylor-Compton
Ulrich Stern- Alexander Skarsgard
Tabbatha St. James- Joanna Krupa
Randy Texler- Jerry Trainor
Hellena Shapiro- Stefani Germanotta
Anna d'Tavvrs- Kristina Klebe
Fernando Collins- Wilmer Valderrama
Lorielle Collins- Mercedes McNabb
Mr. Cavares- Hank Azaria
Hostel Room Service- Jason Mewes
Colbie Mazure- Sheri Moon Zombie
Terry Szrenda- Sean Flynn Amir
Liz Adler- Katherine McPhee
Monika Demunishka- Karina Smirnoff
Hostel Torturer- Viggo Mortenson
Shrill Hostess- Meagan Good
Liz's Popparazzi- Marisa Tomei, Ashton Kutcher, Rumer Willis
Auctioneer- Sandra Bullock
German Bidder 1- Udo Kier
Austrailian Bidder- Uma Thurman
German Bidder 2- Ray Romano
Elderly Bidder- Leslie Nielson
Sexy Biker Chick Bidder- Megan Fox
Liz's Agent- Yvette Nicole Brown
Liz's Manager- Oprah Winfrey
Misty- Kate Gosselin
Liz's Entourage- Mya, Sandra Oh, Craig Robinson
Liz's Therapist- Jenna Elfman
Train Conductor- Ezra Buzzington
Barfllies that hit on Liz, Colbie, and Ava- Enrique Inglesias, Hayden Christensen, Martin Starr
Odd's Uncle- David Cross
Mr. Laress- Nigel Lythgoe
Hostel Maid- Dee Wallace
Hostel Victim 1- Cody Linley
Hostel Victim 2- Masiela Lusha
Liz's Mom- Ellen DeGeneres
Tabbatha's Translater- Heidi Klum
Hostel Victim 3- Emma Stone
Napoleon- Demitri Martin
Nude Model 1- Albert Reed
Art Teacher- Carmen Electra
Science Professor- Eartha Kitt
Nerdy Girl- Chyler Leigh
Serenity- Jordana Brewster
The Elusive man Behind Curtain- John Forsythe
Girly voice- Kate Walsh
Lab Assistant- Kelly Osborne
Nude Model 2- Mila Kunis
Nude Model 3- Gilles Marini
Oracle- Cree Summers
Rugby Player on Train- Taye Diggs
Streaker on Train- Simon Rex
Gay Model- Lance Bass
Liz's Stalker- James Marsden
Liz's Lesbian Lover- Kat Dennings
Hostel employee- Derek Hough
Chapter 1: I'm not ready
Summary: Odd Della Robbia, his cousin Ava Sanchez, and his best friend Ulrich Stern have been presented with the best opportunity of their lives. An all expenses paid trip to take an exchange student program for their first year in college. As the trio takes off for Vienna they each feel somewhat nervous about leaving America.
The plane is over the Atlantic Ocean, and it's around noonish when Ava takes out her iPod and listens to her playlist.
ULRICH: (Leaning over Ava to speak to Odd) Hey Odd...
ODD: (Turning his head away from his Steven King novel) Yeah Ulrich?
ULRICH: (Evading Odd's gaze) Are you sure this will be good for me?
ODD: (Raising his eyebrows slightly) I'm one-hundred percent positive! You need to get your mind off of Serenity... yes you might have had a slip, but if I hadn't came around that day you'd have mace the biggest mistake of your life.
ULRICH: (Distantly cold) ...Second biggest mistake...
ODD: (Annoyied) You can't blame yourself! For fuck's sake!
ULRICH: (Getting angry at himself) If I hadn't- (He is shushed by other passengers) If I hadn't asked her to run out for the turkey... it would've never happened...
ODD: (He glares at him) It's been a year and I've moved on, Ava's moved on, our uncle's moved on... yet you can't seem to let it out in a way that'll keep you here... this is why I knew you had to come with us, you won't leave your mom's house for anything, you bitch and moan that it's your fault while watching old movies on your phone, you eat ice cream until you throw it all up, and you taken it upon yourself to gamble life.
AVA: (Pulling out her heardphones and getting up) S'cuse me I gotta tinkle!
ODD: (Letting Ava out of the row) This is a new chapter of Ulrich Stern... one that doesn't involve him acting like an idiot... It's fucking Vienna! It's a new campus and there'll be lots of hot foreign women who are looking for some confident american boy to sweep them off their feet- into bed!
ULRICH: Is that all you think about?
ODD: (Ignoring the comment) You're a twenty year old guy who lives with his mom: you need to meet some women!
ULRICH: (Not letting Odd get to him) It's to soon for me to start dating!
ODD: Why?
ULRICH: (He blushes and looks away) Because...
ODD: (He pulls him in close) Because why?
ULRICH: Because...
AVA: (Getting pass Odd) Because he's afraid it might happen again!
ULRICH: Yeah, I mean I'm bad luck! Take a look at my record, Yumi: gay, Heather: suicide, Sissi: cheated on me, Miranda: sex change, Leeza: comatose!
AVA: (Sitting) ...and just recenty Serenity...
ODD: For God's sake!
