Uzumaki Kushina was not in a good mood. Nope. No siree.

She glared down at the scale at her feet, wishing that it would go burn in the fiery pits of goddamn hell.

Okay, the red headed woman knew she wasn't a particularly vain person. She didn't fuss over her hair every morning, nor did she make a big deal about whether she had make up on or not.

However,

This was unacceptable. ABSOLUTELY UNACCEPTABLE!

WHY?

Because she had gained a total of eight pounds the past week. EIGHT FRICKIN' pounds!

"C-Cheer up, Kushina-chan! A-At least eight's a symmetrical number..." Her husband suggested, nervously glancing between his wife and the door. He mentally weighed his chances, debating on whether he should flee.

She turned a fierce glare towards the man she had married, growling viciously with fury burning in her eyes.

"You bloody asshole! You fucking did this to me!" She screeched, pointing an accusing finger at him.

Minato backed away slowly, sweating up a storm.

"U-Uh...S-Sorry?"

Poor Minato didn't know what hit him when his kind, benevolent wife flung the metal scale at him, closely followed by the bathroom sink.


Minato sighed as he slumped down, staring at his cup of sake intently. The bar seemed to be his second home these days, and it would most likely continue to be for the next seven or so months. Nara Shikaku raised a brow at his friend's depressed state, raising a glass of his own towards his lips.

"What happened? Kushina kick you out again?" The lazy Nara drawled, sipping his drink.

Minato nodded slowly as he cradled his aching head, another pitiful whimper escaping his lips. He turned towards his friend questioningly, wondering why he was even there.

"Why are you here?"

Shikaku frowned deeply, and Minato understood immediately. Both the shinobi simultaneously sighed, as their postures slumped, depression taking over.

" Shikaku, Minato. What's going on?"A voice sounded. The two misery-brothers turned to see Uchiha Fugaku making his way towards them.

He was taken aback to see that both the men looked like half-dead corpses. Depression rolling off of them in waves. And as if by magic, Fugaku too was infected by their current drastic emotional state.

It seemed that Uchihas were far more susceptible to depression waves than normal people.

"You?" Minato lifelessly mumbled. The fourth Hokage rested his chin against his palm in a sulk, having finished relaying his terrible tale to the Uchiha clan head.

The man's expression dropped, turning even more grim than usual. And to the Namikaze, that was saying something.


"There, there. It's alright Chouza. It isn't entirely your fault." Minato comforted the sobbing man. It seemed that more and more males were flooding the bar, all seemingly with one single problem...

The bar was officially known as the "Depressed Male Therapy Club". Well, at least Minato planned to christen it that when he got back to the office on Monday.

"Y-Yes it is! She kicked me in the s-shin, called me a fat-ass and told me to get out of t-the house! She said that if I ever made her like that again, she'd castrate me!" The man choked out between sobs.

Hatake Kakashi, having arrived not too long ago, shuddered, knowing that Chouza's wife was usually an even-tempered, well-mannered woman who lacked any ill nature of sort. To think that she would threaten and physically assault her husband was probably one hell of a shock.

The youngest amongst the depressed men turned his attention towards the bartender, seeing that he was the only male in the bar who was remotely cheerful.

'Can't blame the guy. This place has been swarmed for the past few months.' He dully thought.

He turned to Shikaku who was chugging down another cup of Sake. From what Kakashi could remember since he arrived, it was most probably his eleventh one.

"Ya know what, kid?"

The silver haired teen turned fully towards the half drunk Nara, confused. Seeing that he had gotten the teen's attention, the strategist continued.

"It's really special stuff when she's the girl of your life. It's even better if she has a great personality."

Kakashi looked at the older jounin, wondering where he was going with this.

"But women are most probably the most terrifying creatures on Earth." He slurred.

Minato nodded in agreement.

"Yeah. They trap you in all their beautiful glory, and then, before you know it, they take over your life! No more drinking, no more late nights out. And worst of all, no more PORN!"

Kakashi gasped, looking mortified, his hand subconsciously going towards the secret treasure in his pocket.

"Yeah, sometimes it makes you wonder why the population hasn't died out yet. I mean, one good night of fun ain't worth the nine months of freakin' torture." Fugaku mumbled. All the males agreed, nodding their heads in unison.

"We men got it tough."

At that, all the men in the bar collapsed into a heap of depressed sighs, never to get up until the next morning.

Kakashi silently swore to himself that he'd never have kids, ever.