This is my new story, which is about Sirius and Remus and not Sirius/Remus. It will hopefully be quite funny, please review.
Disclaimer: I didn't write Harry Potter Jk Rowling did.
A new day:
"Hey look Prongsy, there's Evans. Go and entice her, you know you want to." Sirius said grinning.
"Right you are pad. Watch and learn!" he grinned sticking his tongue out.
---
"Gosh Lilly, you look good today!" he glanced at Sirius looking proud of himself. He had actually managed to give her a perfectly nice complement that she couldn't object to.
"Thanks James. But it would have been so much nicer if you had actually managed to look at my face whilst you said it, not my chest."
She slapped him hard across the cheek and stalked off. She had just reached the other end of the room when she stopped and walked back to him.
She smiled sweetly at him. He smiled back hopefully. She looked straight into his eyes and said,
"And this, is for checking out my bum as I left the room," in her sweetest voice. "This is for you."
She slapped him hard on the opposite cheek and walked out using her schoolbag as a shield for her lower back.
James just stood still. He could see Sirius out of the corner of his eye and knew he was desperately trying to stop laughing. James gave him another minute, he was loyal but it must have looked very funny. After a minute or so Sirius did calm down and walked over to him. After a sympathetic pat on the shoulder he said,
"Hey, you're way to good for a drama queen like that mate!"
"She's not a drama queen." James muttered.
"Sorry dude, but if she's going to diss my mate like that then I am in rights to call her whatever I please."
"No problem."
"Anyway, she does have a great bum."
"Yeah," James agreed "And her chest isn't that bad either."
"That's my Jamesy! Turned down but comes back fighting, just what I like to see."
---
Remus was lying in his usual bed at the end of the hospital. It had been a rough full moon and he had been in the hospital wing for the last three days. Sirius and James walked over to him and took a seat.
"Hey guys. Thanks for visiting; it means a lot to me."
"We are here to make you're life as comfortable as possible, we shall honour your every wish and wait on you hand and foot." Said Sirius jokingly as he bowed low.
"Well I'll leave that to you Siri, I'm just here to hear about that gorgeous blonde I saw him with four days ago."
"To be honest, I prefer Sirius's offer, but I may be able to give you a few details of my night time activities." Remus grinned, with a subtle wink at Sirius he said "It may not be quite what you are expecting though."
"Firewhisky anyone?" said Sirius, producing a silver hipflask from inside his cloak.
"Please!" said Remus.
"Er Sirius, why the hell are you giving him alcohol? He's in the hospitalwing, you don't need to be a master wizard to know that it's not going to do him any good."
"Dude?" Since when have you been bothered?" he asked James.
"Well maybe I'd like him to get better for once, sorry, I didn't mean to be bossy." Apologised James.
"S'alright. You were only lookin' out for him."
"Yeah well, you're both right. I think I'm gonna lay off the firewhisky for the time being."
---
That night at dinner all was well, or as well as it ever could be when James and Sirius had downed at least eight bottles of firewhisky between them. James was red in the face and Sirius just looked even paler. There was such a contrast between his jet black hair and unnaturally white skin that Madam Pomfrey had asked him several times if he was feeling alright. The truth was he was depressed. His family were driving him nuts and he was fighting more and more with his friends. He was showing his emotion in the unusual way of sleeping with even more girls than usual. In the last week alone he had been with at least twelve different girls. Each of them swore that it had been special, but the truth was, it wasn't. It was just a quick way to cheer Sirius up. He went from meaningless experience to meaningless experience. There was one girl he really liked, but he didn't have the nerve to ask her.
---
He lay awake in his bed staring out of the window. The random blonde on top of him was boiling hot and yet he was just so cold. He decided to go out for a walk. He rolled the girl off him and laid the usual note on the bedside cabinet.
We're over.
---
He stepped out into the bitter cold night and sat at the lakeside. He had just begun to serenade the giant squid softly when he heard the rustle of leaves. He spun around quickly and watched the person leave the forest.
She had hair so beautiful that it fell in a wave to her shoulders, her eyes so bright that they shone in the dark, her tartan slippers so…
Hang on, what is a good word to describe tartan slippers, (he thought)? Well, they were very tartany.
Sirius didn't even think to hide from the teacher, all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and feel warm. He did.
At first she seemed utterly bewildered, but then she just melted into him. They were halfway through their third or fourth kiss when she broke off.
"Sirius?"
"Oh not this again! Just because you're a teacher does not mean we can't be together. Honestly he was very understanding when I explained it to Dumbledore."
"Erm no Sirius, it's not that. Although I will be very pleased to here under what circumstances you had that discussion. But I should have explained something to you."
"What?"
"I'm going out with Tom Riddle."
"What? That handsome one who does all those cool snake tricks? He gets everything! He stole Sybille from me too. (Sigh!) I wish I was him. His life is perfect."
Story shall be continued next chapter. Reviewers will get either cake or death. Include your preferences in the review. Hope I haven't bored you too much but I had to set the scene. The next chapter will be funny. Promise )
