AN: Here's another crossover for you all. This time with Kids Next Door. It's where Sector V has to deal with a bunch of new recruits at the last minute before the events of the series. I hope you all enjoy this story.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing that is all.
Operation: R.E.C.R.U.I.T.S.
Really
Eccentric
Children
Recruited
Using
Interesting
Tactics
Surprisingly
Numbah 1, alias of Nigel Uno, was not happy.
No, that does not describe how he felt at the current moment. He was so freaking pissed off right now. His plans for operation C.A.K.E.D. had been delayed, all because he was supposed to greet and educate some new special members of the Kids Next Door at Moon Base. His tree-house was now going to so overcrowded, he would barely be able to get everyone a room. And no telling how many supplies his group would use if it were more than doubled, which was what Numbah 86 was suggesting would happen. Dang he hated that girl.
"Well," Hoagie Gilligan, aka Numbah 2, said, "let's get this over with." Hoagie was Nigel's best friend, as well as being perhaps the best pilot in the entire KND. His job was to fly the team to and from missions, as well as take care of the construction of weapons for the team.
"Numbah 5 can't believe that we're stuck getting this assignment," Abigail Lincoln, also known as Numbah 5, growled. Abby is the second in command of his sector, and she was the member of Sector V who had been in the KND the longest.
"Aw come on guys, it might be fun," Numbah 3, or Kuki Sanban, squealed happily. Three's job was too… Well, no one really knew what her job was. She more or less just hung out around the Tree-house, doing whatever was needed of her.
"Are you kidding, I can't believe we got stuck with this cruddy assignment," Wally Beetles, also known as Numbah 4 cursed. He was the combat specialist for Sector V, and of course that also meant that he was the least intelligent of all of his subordinates. This did not stop him from being incredibly useful, as he somehow knew more about the streets than even Numbah 5.
"So, who is our first new member?" 1 asked 5. She flipped up some paper on a clipboard, before reading out the first name.
"Numbah 3.14."
"Aw great," Wally moaned, "a nerd."
A young boy walked down from a metal door. He wore a black ski hat, and a red shirt. He seemed nervous, carefully examining his new comrades with fear. He silently saluted his seniors.
"What is your given name?" Nigel asked Numbah 3.14.
"Eddward sirs," he said shakily, "Special designation of head scientist for Sector V. Please to be of service."
"Well I must say," Nigel actually admitted, "If the rest are like you, than this won't be too painful at all."
"No such luck," Double D whispered to himself, as he walked up and stood next to the desk Numbah 1 was sitting at. As if on cue, the door which he came threw was smashed into pieces by the next operative, a tall boy with fuzz on the top of his head. He also wore a deep green jacket over a red and white striped turtleneck shirt, which unfortunately reeked of some god forsaken odor.
"Numbah 2350 reporting for duty," the boy said stupidly, before he suddenly fell down the steps clumsily, "But you can call me Ed."
The five more experienced operatives just stared at him, before Numbah 5 looked over the clipboard. She suddenly coughed.
"It says here, that you are a special heavy lifter, is that true?"
"Oh yeah, that's me," Ed said happily, before walking next to 3.14, who simply tried to cover his nose.
"Okay, now we have Numbah 777," Abigail said. The next operative to walk through the door was shorter than either of the previous members. He wore a yellow shirt with a red stripe down the side; he had three long hairs sticking out of his head.
"Make way," he shouted, "Cause Eddy is in the house!"
Eddward just sighed at his friend's intro. They were not endearing themselves to they're superiors at the current moment, as the five current operatives glared at the three of them. He had hoped to avoid pissing off their superiors for at least the first day.
"Well, our next member is Numbah 5000."
'That's right you faggots," another boy shouted as he entered the room. He was, for the lack of a better term, fat. No, he was obese. Not even Numbah Two had as wide of a waste line as this kid had.
"I'm Eric Cartman," the fat boy said, "And don't any of you touch my stuff."
Double D let out a sigh of relief, at least he and his friends were no longer the source of Sector V's ire.
"Shut the fuck up fat ass," the next boy, wearing an orange sweater and a green ushanka, to come through the door cursed, "They're our teammates now, and you need to at least treat them like everyone else… Wait a minute; I forgot how much you were an asshole to everyone."
"I take it your Numbah 11, or Kyle Broflovski" Abby said while reading over the file, "At least someone finally took my disgraced sister's Numbah."
"I think it fits him well," a girl with blond curly hair said dreamily as she stared at Kyle.
"Goddammit, leave me alone Bebe!" 11 shouted.
"It's Numbah 111 now Kyle," she said, as she happily walked up next to them.
The original operatives just stared weirdly, as the door opened again. This time, another boy appeared, and he had a large orange parka covering his body. He suddenly began to speak in a muffled voice, which confused 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5. What weirded them out even more is that 11, 5000, and 111, seemed to understand him.
"He says he is Numbah 69, but we know him as Kenny," 11 explained, before he heard Numbah 69 speak again. He suddenly blushed, as he turned to his friend, "No, I don't know it the," he used his fingers for emphasize, "Hot Asian Chick," he threw his up to Numbah 3, "is single! Ask her yourself!"
Both 3 and 4 turned red, though 4 was not blushing. "Cruddy style stealing twerp," 4 cursed to himself, as he planned his revenge. Oh yes, it was going to be so sweet.
"Hey fellas," a boy with spiky blond hair said, "It's really nice to be here and hang at with ya'll. I even got this cool codename, Numbah 73."
"Aw, god Damnit, it's Butters," Cartman growled, "I thought we left that fag back at South Park."
"If he tick the fat kid off," 5 began, "than he is fine with me."
"Wow, this could have gone better," said one of the next two entries. One was a young boy with black hair and a red and blue cap. The kid next to him was another girl, who had a purple sweater and a pink beret.
"So you two must be Numbahs 7 and 19, am I correct?" Numbah 1 asked, and the two nodded.
"Hey," 5000 seethed, "How come he gets to have 7 for his Number."
"I won rock, paper, scissors fair and square, Goddamnit!" Seven shouted, "you're just jealous that I got John Elway's number and you didn't fatass."
"Okay, okay, we are all friends here," 3.14 soothingly told the arguing kids, "It's just a number."
"And to believe we still have a few more additions to go," Numbah Two sighed, causing his comrades to groan.
Suddenly, about six more kids entered. The first one was the only African American, and he wore a purple shirt. The next kid was a normal looking kid, with brown hair and a red shirt. After that was a kid with a weird twitch and spiky, messy blonde hair was the next kid to step out.
He was followed by two disabled kids. The first one was using two crutches attached to his arms, and he had brown hair. The second one was sitting in a wheel chair, and he had a large head and a stupid smile on his face. The next kid to enter the room was a boy with a weird blue hat. He glared at Cartman, and then flipped the entire team off.
"So in order," Numbuh said, "We have Numbuhs 34, 22, 67, 222, 565, and finally Numbuh 135. Wow, Global Command sure did spare no expense for this."
"Hey, what's up," the next new operative said. It was another boy; this one was a 10-years old with spiky hair, yellow skin for some odd reason, and wearing a red shirt, blue shorts, and blue shoes. He smiled for a second, before noticing the smashed doors.
"I don't want to know what happened, do I?" he asked Numbah 1.
"No, you don't Numbah," he looked over the chart, "18, otherwise known as Bart Simpson."
"My God, you call this a space station?" the next new operative said. He was another boy who didn't look any older than two years old. He wore a yellow shirt with red overalls and for some odd reason he had a football shaped head. "This looks like this was put together by duct tape; I'm surprised that this piece of crap hasn't been sucked into the vacuum of space." The senior operatives glared at the boy for that remark.
Suddenly, he was pushed down, and a pure white dog walked in.
"Sorry about him," the dog said, "that's Numbuh 800, and I'm Numbah 950 or Brian if that's helpful."
The five original members looked at one another, before Numbuh 4 asked the obvious question, "Did that dog just talk?" as he pointed at Brian.
"Figured that one by yourself didn't you?" replied Brian, causing the operatives jaws to drop.
"Yeah, I'm not even going to touch that," 7 said, quietly pinching the bridge of his nose while moaning with annoyance.
"Well," Numbah 2, quietly looking over the list, "that is the last of them, but I have to say, having one sector with eighteen operatives, its going to be a logistical nightmare to try to supply all of us."
"Alright team," all of the members of Sector V, besides 777, 800, 135, and 5000, saluted with respect, "were going on our first mission, Operation-"
"NIGEL UNO!" Numbah 86 screamed over the intercom, "Turn on the video monitor now you idiot!"
"Yes Mam!" 1 quickly flipped a switch on a remote, turning the small screen above the heads of Sector V.
A girl with a green shirt and a metal helmet came onto the screen. "Well it seems that you have met your new members without any trouble," she said, though for some reason she did not sound pleased, "I was just told to make sure that you got the new members acquainted with their new quarters."
"But we have a-"
"I don't care what stupid little thing you are doing, get those new operatives settled in, or I'll see to it that you're decommissioned."
Suddenly, the screen buzzed off. All of the operatives just stared at the screen, until 5000 began to chuckle.
"Man dude, what a bitch."
Numbah 1 sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this," he pushed his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose, "but I agree."
(KND SYMBOL)
Finally, they had arrived at their tree-house. It was huge, at least one mile high, and over five football fields in length, the fact that the tree had not been cut down was shocking. It had a giant boat sticking out from one of the limbs, and a humongous satellite sticking out from the top of a giant glass observatory.
"Oh God," Kyle groaned, "Another anomaly that science can't explain, and this time were going to have to live in it."
"Dude, we were just in space, in a station held together by duck tape," Stan said, "I think you should expect more of this kind of stuff."
"But still."
"Be quiet Numbah 11," Nigel said irritably, "This is where you are going to live for the next few years, so get used to it."
As the S.C.A.M.P.E.R. landed in a large hanger, with dozens of other flying vehicles lying around the floor. The operatives began to hurry off the vehicle, preparing for their tour of the new home.
"As you can see," Numbah 1 began, "This is the hanger bay, and it will be where we set off for our missions. It is also where Numbah 2 will be sleeping, so be quiet when you come here at night."
"I'll talk however loud I want to," 5000 said, "You will respect my Authoritah!"
"I'm just going to ignore that," 1 said aloud.
"Smart policy," 11 interjected.
"Hey!"
"And this," as the tour group walked through two wooden doors, "Is our main hub. Here is where we will meet everyday to discuss the agenda, and gain our info from Moon Base."
"Does anyone else think that Kids having this kind of access to technology seems really illogical?" Kyle said.
"And also illegal?" added Brian but the others just ignored them.
"Now, this corridor has plenty of rooms," Numbah 1 opened one of the doors, revealing a long hallway, "I am sure there are enough rooms for all of you to sleep in. So take your bags and unpack."
"Since when the hell do we have bags?" Brian asked, but he was simply ignored by his comrades, who began the process of unpacking.
"Have fun," Numbah 1 said, before grabbing 2, 3, 4, and 5 and dragging them into the main meeting room. "Alright, listen," he began, "I know those kids are…"
"Annoying?" Numbah 2 offered.
"Mean?" Numbah 3 seethed.
"Cruddy idiotic?" Numbah 4 cursed.
"Uncool?" Numbah 5 said.
"Yes, yes, yes and yes," Numbah 1 admitted, "but Global Command is upset about our productivity of our missions."
"Well the only mission that we really messed up was that battle with Mr. Wink and Mr. Fib at that pool," Hoagie said, which caused the others to glare at Nigel.
"Yeah, we failed cause you got to cocky and destroyed the entire pool," Abby growled. Nigel gulped, before nodding sadly.
"Okay, I will admit that I overreacted during that mission, but that is not the point," Nigel sighed, "The point is, if we can prove to Global Command that we are good enough at missions that we don't need any back up, we might be able to get these other operatives' butts kicked out of our tree-house."
"Sounds good," Numbah 4 agreed, "So what's the plan."
(KND SYMBOL)
"Happy Birthday…not our birthday…happy birthday…not our birthday," a large group of kids were sitting at a table, sadly singing a rather uncreative and in your face snobbish birthday song. At the end of the table, were five children. One had a blond bowl cut, one had brown pigtails, one had a pink bow over blond hair, one was incredibly tall and had hair covering his eyes, and the final one had a football helmet. All of them were dressed incredibly neatly, and all had a mildly vacant look in their eyes.
"Splendid," they creepily said together, "Now we will eat our birthday cake, you may sing it…AGAIN!"
The kids who were there just sighed sadly. Just as they began to sing it again, they heard a crash. Small tubes of mustard slammed through the window, and suddenly skunks ran out of the bottles. Partygoers screamed, jumping up from their seats as suddenly 4, then 3, and then five broke through windows, landing in the room with gasmask covering their noses. If one was paying attention, they would see 2 swinging in on a rope, only to crash into a window, unable to break it open. As he slid down the glass, the KND operatives allowed the partygoers to escaped, leaving only the five children who were having the party in sight. 4 and 5 then got on either side of the main door, and then opened it to reveal Numbah 1.
"Status report Numbah 5," Nigel ordered, as he walked through the ruined room.
"As for Operation CAKE," Abigail began, "Guests evacuated, cake located, and of course…party clown neutralized." She pointed at a clown who was chained to the floor. The clown weakly saluted the KND by tipping his hat to them.
"Excellent," Nigel said, "Prepare cake for transport back to headquarters, while I deal with…The Delightful Children From Down The Lane." The five children at the end of the table glared at Nigel.
"Well if it isn't the Kids Next Door," they again said in unison, "Have you come to abscond with our birthday cake like you do every year?"
"Precisely. It's better than watching you spoiled snobs eating it by yourselves. So lets do this the easy way, hand over the cake, and we'll be on our way."
"But we were just about to play some party games," the Delightfuls said, "Please stay."
Suddenly an iron door slammed over the entrance, and the windows were covered in Iron bars. Hoagie, who was attempting to climb inside, was shut out again by the bars slamming the window shut.
"Always the hard way with you goody two-shoes, isn't it?" Numbah 1 asked, before snapping his fingers, "Numbah 4, deal with these spoiled brats."
"Right!" Wally yelled, "First I'm going to kick your butts, and then we're going to take that birthday cake."
"No party games, Wallabee?" the Delightfuls asked, "you wouldn't want to disappoint our friend," suddenly 4 turned to the side of the table to see a young black girl with dorky red glasses, standing to the side, "Laura Lumpkin, would you?"
"I got invited to a birthday party!" the girl giggled excitedly. Wally just growled.
"Beat it squirt," 4 said, turning back to the Delightfuls, "I got no time for party games."
"No party games," Laura asked weakly, before she began to freak out in a weird manner, her voice deepening with every word, "But I love party games!"
"Oh," the brats at the end of the table smiled at 4, "Did we forget to mention Laura's little…condition? She has quite a nasty temper, and when she gets mad, she becomes…the Big Badolescent."
The once tiny girl was now at least seven feet tall, her face was covered with pimples, and a big red jumpsuit covering her body. She glared down at Numbah 4 who gulped.
"Me want party games," the giant yelled, "Now!" When she said this, she slammed her fists down crushing Numbah 4. After several seconds of intense pain, Numbah 1 quietly addressed the Delightfuls.
"Alright, we'll play your games," he said, before adding, "for now."
"As a matter of fact," the Delightfuls said, "We were just about to break open the greatest piñata ever."
"Yeah," BB said, before turning back into Laura, "party game time.' The girl broke off into a sprint for the next room, leaving a fearful KND behind her.
(KND SYMBOL)
"Greatest piñata ever, greatest piñata ever!" the girl yelled, as Numbah 1 swung back and forth while he was stuck inside the piñata.
"I've seen better," the bald boy commented, as he noticed the Delightfuls putting a blindfold onto Numbah 3.
"Now remember Kuki dear," they said, "The harder you swing, the more candy you get."
"Yeah!" the girl giggled, as she swung in several directions, "candy," she called out, only to hit Numbah 5, "candy," she said again, this time slamming Numbah 4 with the baseball bat.
"No Numbah 3," Nigel said, but it was too late, and Kuki smashed the bat into his head not once, not twice, but three times. After landing several blows, Kuki raised her blindfold up off her eyes.
"How'd I do?" she asked Laura, who unfortunately still thought it was Kuki's turn. Five seconds later, Kuki was the bat that sent 4 and 5 barreling into the piñata that contained Numbah 1. Laura, having grown small again, ran up to the pile of candy and began to munch on it.
"This is great," Laura said, "I never get invited to parties."
(KND SYMBOL)
Laura laughed slightly, "That is a silly donkey."
The "Donkey" she was talking about was the four members of the captured KND, all of whom were sited up and in a picture of a donkey. They all were struggling to escape, the Delightfuls smiled. This was too easy.
"It also makes silly sounds when you pin the tail on it, so aim carefully."
"Okay," she said while lifting up a gun with a giant pin on it. The four operatives just looked at one another.
"Um, Numbah 1, do you have a plan or something?" Abigail asked.
"I-I-I," Nigel stuttered, "I never thought we would need one."
"Maybe Global Command wasn't so dumb in sending us those new operatives after all," Kuki offered, which only made them feel worse.
"Did you say new operatives!" someone screamed from outside, as suddenly, a potion of the wall was smashed open. Out stepped Numbah 2 and the new recruits.
"Hey guys," 2 said happily, only for a falling piece of mortar to crush him.
"I can't believe you assholes ditched us!" Stan seethed, which caused Nigel to rub the back of his head.
"Um, Numbah 7," he said, "we do have a lot of explaining to do, but maybe we can do it after you rescue us and we get that delicious cake to talk it over with."
"Okay then," Kyle said, "Kenny, go get the cake."
As Kenny approached the cake, the Delightfuls turned to Laura.
"Laura, if they take the cake, than the party will be over," they said frantically. That was enough, within seconds Laura was again towering over the heads of everyone else.
"But the party can't be over," she shouted, grabbing a nearby table, and slamming it down on Kenny.
"Numbah 69!" Nigel shouted, as he and the other three captured operatives were helped by Ed and Mac. When Badolescent raised the chair, all that was left of Kenny was his orange parka and a blood splatter.
"Oh my God!" Stan shouted, "They Killed Kenny!"
"You Bastards!" Kyle chorused.
"Now will you all stay for our party games," the Delightfuls asked, "or will you have to end up like poor Kenneth here?"
"Okay, I've had just about enough of this crap," Stewie said as he took out a blaster rifle and shot The Badolescent, stunning her.
"Maybe we should grab the cake and leave," Numbah 1 suggested, which all of the operatives agreed, not wanting to witness the horror that was happening to the Badolescent.
(KND SYMBOL)
"Well done team."
Nigel and the rest of the operatives, minus 69 who was dead, all sat around a big table in the main room. The cake was slowly being sliced for all of them.
"I suppose I owe you all an apology," Nigel said to the new operatives, "Without you guys, we would not have completed the mission, and gained this delicious cake. Though I must ask Numbah 800, what did you do to those delightful creeps any way?"
"Oh, I don't think they will be bothering us for a while," Stewie said.
(KND SYMBOL)
"This is most…humiliating," the Delightfuls said, as they hung by their collective undies from a giant pole. They suddenly heard a humming, and realized who was walking up from behind them.
"What is going on here?" a rather educated, if not malevolent tone, asked.
"Hello," they greeted, "Father."
"Gee," the voice said, "First my kid that I keep out west disappears, and now you are humiliated on your own birthday. How could this day be any worse!"
"I want a party," a yell shouted, and the Delightfuls turned to see the Badolescent stand up angrily, holding a couch above her head.
"Oh come on!"
(KND SYMBOL)
"So let's dig in!" Numbah 2 said, as he scooped some of the cake into his mouth, and the others did the same. They all chewed the cake for a second, before all of their eyes opened up wide. And then they all proceeded to spit out the cake.
"Coconut!" Cartman seethed, "We fucking risked our lives for a Goddamn coconut cake?!"
"I don't understand, those Delightfuls are supposed to have the best cakes ever, and when we finally get one, it turns out to be such a disgusting flavor," Nigel said, "That's almost as bad as my plans for ditching those loser new guys and then having to end up being saved by them."
"Wait a minute," Eddy said, "You were trying to get rid of us?"
The thirteen new operatives all glared at Numbah's 1-5, and began to march up to them ominously.
(KND SYMBOL)
"Good job getting that cake guys," a young blond girl said on the command screen. This was Numbah 362, head of the KND stealth force, and currently second in line for the position of Soopreme Leader of the Kids Next Door. "Sorry about the cake being coconut, but at least you accomplished the mission."
"Thank you very much mam," Double D said, as he was working on a new type of 2x4 technology.
"No problem Numbah 3.14, though I have to ask, shouldn't Numbah 1 be the one telling me this?" None of them noticed, but she had the slightest hint of a blush across her cheeks.
"Um, he had a meeting with his…um…Girlfriend, yeah, girlfriend," Numbah 950 explained hurridly.
"Oh," she said, with a mild hint of sadness, "well, tell him I said hi then."
As she buzzed out, Ed stuck his head out of the door way to the outer balcony.
"Hey! Numbah 1 Guy," he shouted to Numbah 1, who was tied up with 2, 3, 4, and 5, while hanging by a rope from the side of the balcony, "Numbah 362 says hi!"
"Okay then,"
(KND SYMBOL)
5…4…3…2…1…
(KND THEME)
"I am pleased to announce that due to the success of Sector V's growth," Numbah 274, Chad Dickson said, "that we are going to offer the KND member of the month award to the great leader who lead them to such a successful mission. Numbah 1!"
The crowd cheered as Numbah 1 entered, a speech in hand, coughed, as he grabbed the small trophy. "Thank you all for voting me to this prestigious award-"
He stopped when he heard a cocking sound, and turned to see Stewie holding a shotgun glaring at him.
"Um," he gulped, "I cannot accept this award alone however, and must ask that it be given to my entire team."
The crowd just stared at him, as Stewie smiled happily. All in a days work.
5…4…3…2…1
[END TRANSMISSION]
AN: Another idea that hasn't been done in a while. Keep in mind this an AU, so there will be some major changes. I might even include some original chapters of my own at some point. Any who, please review, as it means that I will update faster.
