"So then I tell Wrex, 'If crazy is the new sane, doesn't that mean we're all sane?'" Tali was saying to Shepard as they strode down the hall to the Crew Deck.

"Ha! I remember that!" he barked. "What was it that Garrus did next? I seem to remember a random tool flying across the room."

"Oh, yes, he- Oh!" She clapped a hand over her mouth piece as they came into the mess, and caught sight of said Turian sitting at one of the tables. "Keelah."

Shepard bit down on one of his fingers, snickering at Garrus' expense. The sniper turned his head to glare at them.

"Yeah, laugh it up you two! The next time I get my hands on your levo soap, Shepard..." payback was going to be pink. As pink as the Turian's now bright salmon-colored fringe and neck scales. Turians didn't have hair to wash, but they had to clean between their scales regularly and tend to their fringe. Garrus had to be especially careful, though, because his burns weren't fully healed yet.

Everyone in the mess kept casting glances and snickers at him, and Legion, who had come out to investigate the commotion, stood with it's eye plates flicking up and down, as if it were trying to comprehend what the purpose of this was, exactly.

"Sorry, buddy, as much as I would like to claim credit for this one..." Shepard snickered, one hand over his mouth, Tali bent double trying to keep her laugher contained(and failing).

"Ugh, don't look at me! Plus It really itches! It's all over my burns, too..."

"OH MY GOSH!" A hysterical voice suddenly exclaimed, broken up with raucous laughter. All heads turned to see Kasumi absolutely beside herself, leaning against the wall to support herself as she completely broke down at the sight of Garrus. He moaned, and buried his face in his arms.

"I am SO sorry, I thought for sure I hit the levo soap!" that made him sit upright. She remembered, she was certain she had hit the right stuff. You would think he'd keep his stuff from the others... Come to think of it, the bottle had been labeled kind of weird.

"YOU-wait, is that why I itch? You used some levo gunk on my soap!?" he exclaimed. He jumped out of his seat, nearly knocking it over in a scrambled for the med bay, Legion having the jump out of the way to avoid being trampled. "CHAKWAS! That crazy thief gave me an allergic rash!"

"Oh, Keelah, poor Garrus!" Tali laughed, leaning against Shepard as the whole mess filled with snickers and laughter. "We're so mean!"

"How long do you think he'll be stuck looking like that?" Shepard chuckled, wiping a tear of mirth from his eyes. Suddenly, he froze, and his head snapped around in Kasumi's direction. "Wait, who was your real target?"

A wild, angry screech from Miranda's room silenced the whole room, and answered the question. Kasumi smiled wryly.

"Time for me to disappear!" she chirped before vanishing.


You wanted it, you got it! Garrus with a pink fringe, LoL.

It's really odd, my one-shots are widely read, but by actual long-term fic is only reviewed by one person. He poke the community with a stick in his last review. I keep expecting to find another review exclaiming "STOP POKING ME!"

Urdnot Grunt and the Frabjous Snow Day, Ashley Williams and the Smelly Surprise, Urdnot Wrex and the Legend of the Pizza Fairy, James Vega and the Runaway Hamster, or Miranda Lawson and the Blob of the Normandy Crew Deck(that last one's title might not fit... hmmm...).

Vote up!

Without further ado, read and REVIEW!