A/N: The JavaJunkie fic that I always wished was out there. Chris and Lorelai are together for now, but there is minimal C/L, mainly because I have an intense hatred of Chris (see my other story, "The Many Deaths of Christopher Hayden" for details). It's set around 7.06, so Chris and Lorelai are NOT married (WHY OH WHY did they do that? Are they on crack?). Let this story be my rant against DR and everything he stands for.
Disclaimer: I have Lorelai's eyes. That's the ONLY thing I own.
To the readers...
Feel free to leave a comment that rants about Christopher, the lack of coffee this season, Lorelai's abrupt character shift, or the awesomeness of Luke. Rants make me happy.
Oh, and you can comment about the story too...
This story was written almost entirely during 6th hour U.S. History. If there are any continuity issues because of this, I apologize.
Insomnia
And if he wasn't the one she saw whenever she closed her eyes, if his voice wasn't the one ringing in her head, if his embrace couldn't comfort her, that was no one's fault but her own. She'd run away, and he hadn't come after her.
Rubbing her eyes, Lorelai slipped out of bed. It was five in the morning, hours before the old Lorelai would even have dreamed of getting up, but Lorelai didn't sleep much anymore. Sitting at the kitchen table, she stared at the coffee pot. Coffee had been her oxygen, but it seemed to have lost some of its magic after he left. She couldn't explain it, but somehow she needed to forget that person. That old Lorelai who had loved coffee. Who had laughed and smiled and joked. She had to forget HIM. She had to forget how happy she used to be, how safe she had felt in HIS arms. She knew that if she didn't, she would never be able to make this work.
"Lor?" She heard Christopher call. She wiped the tears that had started to fall from her eyes. She knew that Chris wouldn't notice the redness that still lingered. Or how thin she had gotten. She tensed as he placed his hand on her shoulder, but he didn't notice.
"Want some coffee?" He asked brightly. She shook her head.
"I have to go to the inn." She tried to justify, "Maybe I'll get some there."
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An hour later, Sookie arrived at the Dragonfly to find Lorelai already there.
"Lorelai?" She questioned. At first, Lorelai didn't notice her presence. She seemed to be lost in thought.
"Lorelai, what are you doing here this early?" Lorelai snapped out of her thoughts and noticed Sookie.
"Oh, I had a lot of work to do, so I figured that I'd get here early and check on the guests. Get ready for the new ones coming today..."
"Hon, there are only two guests here and no more coming in today. Why don't you go home, you're not looking too great." Sookie said, her voice concerned. Lorelai turned away, trying to hide from Sookie the tears that were forming in her eyes. When she was sure that Sookie was gone, she let them fall.
"What if I can't do that?" She whispered.
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Lorelai wandered around the inn for the rest of the day. At one point, Sookie tried to make her rest ("You look like you haven't slept in days!"), but Lorelai refused. She didn't want Sookie to know who haunted her dreams. Finally, Sookie just gave up.
"I'm going home, Lorelai, is there anything you want to talk about before we leave?" Sookie pleaded with her friend.
"No." Said Lorelai, just as stubborn as always.
"Don't stay here all night, Lorelai." Sookie gave in and left Lorelai alone with her thoughts.
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Those thoughts were interrupted about an hour later when the phone rang. It took a few minutes for Lorelai to locate the source of the disturbance. She was still a little out of it when she answered.
"Hello?" She inquired.
"Lorelai, where the hell are you?" Chris' angry voice brought her crashing back to reality.
"I'm at work, Chris, you of all people should know something about that!" She shot back.
"Oh, really. You're at work at 10:30 pm? Do you really think I'm that stupid, Lor? You haven't been home before 11 all week. You don't talk to me when you are here, you brush me off, what the hell do you think you're doing." There was a silence as Lorelai felt his words sink in.
"Well, thank you, Christopher, for sharing your incredibly high opinion of me. Actually, I am at work and I plan on staying here long enough for you to remove every trace of yourself from my house!"
"Lor, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!"
"Well I did. Goodbye, Chris. Don't bother to write."
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Lorelai stayed at the inn that night. When she came home, Chris was gone. Lorelai smiled wryly. Christopher had never had enough spine to stand up to anyone, including her. She wasn't surprised to find that she felt no real pain about Christopher's departure. At this point, she realized that any feelings she may have had for him evaporated a long time ago.
She hadn't ever needed Chris, but her breakup with Luke had destroyed her, and it was nice to feel wanted. She had told herself that she really loved Chris, but in the quiet moments had trouble even believing it herself, much less convincing anyone else. She was back to square one. Back to that night in the therapist's car, where she had admitted that Luke was the only man she had ever loved. This time, though, she didn't even have him at all. The ultimatum had taken care of that.
