Emma was coming to the startling realisation that Regina was struggling and she didn't know how she'd missed it before, but everything was clearer now. Little things were building into a bigger picture where before now she hadn't quite managed to fit all the pieces together.
There was a lot going on for them all, she told herself this in order to justify what she had missed, the excuse seemed weak even to her. She was supposed to be Regina's friend, friends were there for each other and she thought she had been there for Regina but she hadn't, not really.
On the surface she had been, she'd supported Regina when she decided to split herself in two, she'd been there with encouraging words when the Queen had manipulated her into killing the count. Mostly there were the times when she thought she was being supportive but hadn't been at all. She thought she was being supportive by wanting to kill the Queen, she really did, but now she felt a sick sense of horror. How could she have advocated to kill half of someone she cared so deeply about.
The split had left Regina so broken and it was only now that she could see it, she'd been so involved in everything else she hadn't taken the time to truly look at her and see. She was softer, her emotions closer to the surface and spilling out when before she'd kept a tighter hold on them. Then there was the ever increasing need she had to hurt herself, martyr herself. She was still essentially Regina and maybe that was why Emma had overlooked so much, but looking beyond what was apparent revealed much more.
It wasn't until she was in the wish realm with Regina sat in front of her and they were talking, just talking, without an impending sense of danger hanging over them, that she finally noticed everything she had missed. Yes, there was still everything back home they'd have to deal with, but for now they were just sitting and waiting, passing the time. They'd found a secluded spot near the shore where they'd be meeting Rumple, to spend the night and wait.
It felt like such a long time since they'd really talked, where their conversations weren't only about whatever the current crisis of the time was. Even trapped in the land behind the mirrors there had been little time to talk, they had been too busy trying to figure out how to get back and worrying over what the Queen was up to.
Now all they could do was wait, wait for Rumple with his bean, and until then there was nothing else they could do. He'd sent word that he was held up with 'important dark one business' elsewhere and as frustrating as it was, there was nothing they could do. They were sat opposite each other, she'd pulled her cloak off and they were using it to sit on, both their gloves rested in their laps.
She'd been watching Regina talking, really looking at her when she noticed. They weren't even talking about anything in particular when it all dawned on her and she interrupted her mid-sentence.
"Are you okay?"
Regina looked taken aback, her brow furrowed in confusion, "of course, what made you ask that?"
"I don't know, it's just you seem," she paused searching her mind for the right word, "different is all."
"Different," she spoke the word slowly, turning her head to the side slightly, "different in what way?"
Emma took in a deep breath and exhaled, "sad," she looked Regina in the eye as she spoke, "you seem sad."
Regina looked away, a multitude of things flickering across her eyes that were now wet with emotion, "Emma."
Her name was said with so much feeling that her heart throbbed with it, she was right, Regina was sad and she had missed it. "I'm sorry."
"What for?" though it came out slightly choked the confusion from before was back.
"I didn't see you, I didn't see how everything was affecting you and I should have."
Regina swallowed, she looked like she wanted to speak but was struggling with getting the words out and then tears fell and that was it, like a dam had broken. She tried swiping at her cheeks as if she could hide what she was feeling but she couldn't get the tears to stop.
Emma was at her side without a single thought, wrapping her arms around Regina and pulling her in. In that moment, it didn't matter that they didn't do this, they never touched like this, she just wanted Regina to feel better.
At first the brunette stiffened at the contact but then relaxed, allowing the comfort of strong arms wrapped around her. She turned her head, burying her face into Emma's chest and clung onto her tightly, holding onto Emma's arms for dear life.
Emma murmured soothing words into her hair, rocking slightly, trying to provide some comfort. It was right then that something shifted between them, holding Regina felt right, it felt like she was where she was meant to be. A familiar surge of feeling settled in her chest, emotions she had never quite been able to place made sense.
She'd known for a while that what she felt for Regina was different, went beyond what you felt for just a friend. Regina made her heart pound, butterflies erupt inside of her, and she had experienced strong stabbing jealousy when the older woman had been with Robin. She'd never wanted to examine those feelings, they scared her too much, but right now they felt right. Felt so right.
Regina looked up into her eyes, a vulnerability there that had her chest tightening. Where before she might have pulled away, she let the affection she was feeling show, she wanted Regina to know how much she cared. She shifted them slightly, freeing an arm from Regina's grasp so that she could cup the older woman's face and stroke her thumb over a damp cheek.
Regina lent into the touch, closing her eyes. This was different, new. They didn't touch and it was exactly this reason why. She'd been afraid that once they did, she would never be able to stop wanting to touch Regina but faced with the reality she found she didn't care because it felt right and why didn't she do it sooner. If she had then maybe she wouldn't be where she was now, wouldn't be with a man who she felt only a fraction towards of what she felt for Regina. She let her body guide her, not stopping her impulses, she bent her head down, resting her forehead against Regina's.
They stayed like that for a while, then Emma pulled away slightly, wanting to see Regina's face again. Tear tracks coated her cheeks and her make-up was smudged around her eyes but she also seemed lighter, as if allowing herself to cry had loosened her of some of her burdens. Or maybe it was because someone had finally seen her.
There was so much they still needed to talk about, but it could wait for now, they had some time, instead Emma lay down on her cloak, pulling Regina with her and held her close. With Regina curled up against her, Emma found herself feeling incredibly sleepy, she hadn't realised how tired she was till she was lying down.
Regina gave her a small smile, lips turning upwards, she lifted her hand and gently stroked fingertips across Emma's lips and cheek, tracing the curves and lines of her face before bringing her hand down to rest on Emma's hip.
She was amazed how silence was not uncomfortable with Regina, it felt safe, they didn't need to fill it with unnecessary chatter, they were happy enough in the others company which was so different to what she was used to.
When Emma woke later the sun was starting to set, she looked over towards Regina, who was still in her arms, and found that she was awake, watching her with a look of amazement like she couldn't believe any of this was real.
Emma had the sudden urge to do something she'd dreamed about many times but never thought she would ever actually do, but now she wanted it, really wanted it and didn't want to stop herself.
"Can I try something?" her eyes travelled to Regina's lips, she wondered if they'd be soft, how they'd feel and taste against her own, she swiped her tongue along her lip in hopeful anticipation.
A soft hum of approval came as reply, Regina's eyes traveling down to Emma's lips.
Her heart thudded in her chest as she leaned over, lips slightly parted and slowly pressed them against Regina's. Their lips moved together soft at first, tentative in their exploration before becoming more sure. Kissing Regina was like kissing no other.
When they parted Regina's eyes were twinkling, like she hadn't seen for a long while and Emma was the one that had put that look in her eye, it made her stomach swoop. The next time their lips came together it was more heated and needy, they'd got the first intoxicating taste and wanted more.
Lips parted, tongues met, a breathy moan escaped between them. Regina's hand cupped her face whilst Emma's rested on the other woman's waist.
Everything narrowed down to this moment between them, the rest of the world falling away. Emma wanted to show how much she felt in that moment, how much Regina made her feel and she wanted to make her feel good.
Regina was still in her coat and it felt like a barrier between them, Emma wanted to touch more. Her hand travelled to the buttons so she could undo them and once the coat was open she wasted no time in pulling Regina closer. Her hands ran over Regina's back and slid under her sweater, eliciting a shiver as she explored bare skin.
She kissed along Regina's jaw to just below her ear where she pressed hot open mouthed kisses. Emma smiled at the soft breathy sounds she could hear coming from the other woman whose hand was now resting at the nape of her neck, stroking gently and making her shiver.
Regina guided Emma back to her mouth and captured her lips before pulling away, "touch me," it came out breathy with want.
Emma's eyes darkened with desire but she wanted to make sure, "are you…" she started to say till she was interrupted.
"Emma, please."
She didn't need her to say anything else, Emma's heart beat hard as she moved her hand down to slip beneath the waistband of Regina's trousers. She paused briefly her forehead resting against Regina's before dipping into the brunettes panties, at the first touch of soft flesh Regina let out a breathy gasp.
She slid her finger through wet folds and then circled Regina's clit earning a small whimper in response. She concentrated her efforts there, taking from Regina's reactions what the older woman liked.
"More...inside," her words came out disjointed and through moans as she spread her legs further apart.
Emma slid a finger down, teasing her entrance then pushing in, slowly at first then building up a pace. Another finger added as she brought her thumb up to return her ministrations to Regina's engorged clit.
"So close," Regina groaned out, breathing heavy and face scrunched up as her hips rose.
Walls quivered around Emma's fingers, she sped up her pace then captured Regina's lips with her own, swallowing the noises of pleasure that escaped. Seconds later Regina's was shuddering against her, fingers tightly curled into the material of Emma's dress. She slowed then, bringing Regina's down from her orgasm and withdrew when the brunette under her stilled.
Regina was breathing hard into their kisses, sucking Emma's lower lip into her mouth.
"So beautiful," Emma spoke as they parted, Regina smiled tentatively in return. Then Emma felt the older woman take hold of her hand, bringing her fingers up to her kiss swollen lips and sucked them into her mouth. The feeling of Regina's mouth around her fingers sent a pool of desire between her legs.
A smirk played at Regina's mouth as she released Emma's fingers, her eyes saying she knew exactly what effect she was having on her.
Regina sat up, pulling Emma to straddle her thighs as she shrugged her coat off and discarded it to the side. She pulled her into a searing kiss and wrapped her arms around her neck.
Emma could taste Regina on her lips and it was doing things to her, sending her dizzy with arousal. Their tongues and teeth meeting, becoming more familiar with the others mouth. She gasped when she felt hands sliding under her dress and gripping her thighs, nails slightly digging into skin.
The brunette wasted no time in pushing aside her panties and sliding fingers through her soaked center, they both moaned at the contact.
"Emma," Regina breathed out as she pushed into her, one finger then two.
Emma rocked against Regina's fingers, there was no way she was going to last long, not when she was this worked up. Not when all she could taste and smell was Regina and Regina was inside her, filling her, she'd fantasised about this but the reality of it was so much better.
The other woman's name fell from her tongue in a chant and all it took was a few brushes against her clit and she was coming hard, Regina's name still on her lips. Her head collapsed onto the brunette's shoulder and she felt her pressing lazy kisses against her neck as fingers were slowly withdrawn.
A moment later had Emma looking up and smiling, smiling like she hadn't smiled in the longest time. Then she was laughing and Regina was too, they both felt it, that feeling of finally coming together, complete blissfulness because this was right. They were right where they were both meant to be, with each other.
They collapsed back down again, lying on their sides facing each other.
"That was perfect, you're perfect," Emma said sounding completely enamoured, which she was.
Regina rolled her eyes but a smile and a blush crept up her face, "hush you, if anyone here is perfect it's you and certainly not me."
"No, I don't think that," she searched the deep brown eyes that were equally searching back, they had so much between them and still so much to talk about but not now, in the morning. She could easily get lost looking into those eyes and she wanted to spend as much time as she had left doing just that and more.
This time when Regina smiled it was sadder and it hurt Emma to see that, "we can talk in the morning ok? About us, about everything."
The brunette just nodded in reply.
They spent the night whispering to each other, Regina summoned a blanket that they curled up under, tangled with each other. At some point they drifted off to sleep, more content than either of them had been for some time.
Emma woke first when the sun started to rise, it was nice, peaceful. Regina's head rested on her chest, their arms wrapped around each other still, she felt soft puffs of breath against her skin. She just lay there soaking it all in because soon they would be thrown back into the chaos back home and who knew when they would have a moment like this again.
Sometime later Regina mumbled blearily into her chest and Emma smiled, bringing a hand up to run her fingers through tousled brunette hair. She watched as Regina's eyes fluttered open and focused on her, a sleepy smile lighting up her face.
"Hey there sleepy head," Emma murmured.
She only got a short grumble in reply and Emma couldn't help but laugh because who would have thought that Regina Mills wasn't a morning person. She pressed kisses to her forehead and sighed feeling lighter than she had in a while.
It took Regina a little while to wake up fully but Emma didn't mind, she was still trying to cling onto the quiet moments. They ate a simple breakfast of fruit and water that they'd acquired the day before when making their way to the shore. Emma was pondering how to broach the subject of them when Regina saved her the trouble.
"We should probably talk," Regina's searching gaze was focused on her and that familiar fluttering sensation she always got around the other woman filled her stomach.
"Yeah," she offered a small smile.
"Last night was…"
"Amazing," a deep blush creeped up Emma's cheeks as Regina's expression turned to surprise.
"I just thought...that you might," she took shaky breath looking away from Emma then continued, "that you might reg-"
"No," Emma's voice came out strong, not letting Regina finish that thought because she could never, never regret what happened between them.
Her tone had Regina looking up and she thought she could see hope shining in those deep brown eyes, "what about…"
"I'm done with him. If I can have you then I'm done with him because god Regina, I just want you, have for so long."
Her words had the brunette surging forward pressing their lips together and it nearly sent her toppling over but she was laughing and the smile on Regina's face, she wanted to stare at her like that forever.
When the laughing died down there was intense moment between them where they just looked into the other's eyes for a moment then shared a slow loving kiss. Emma never wanted to stop kissing Regina, it just felt so incredibly right and she could feel their magic surging between them. They were breathless when they pulled apart but smiling as well.
"How are you feeling?" Emma quietly asked Regina later when they were curled up together backs against a tree.
Regina sat up, getting a better look at Emma, "about what?"
"Y'know, yesterday...when I said you looked sad," Regina didn't get a chance to reply because it all came tumbling out fast after that. "It's just we've been trying to kill the Queen and Regina she's you! I feel like we've been trying to murder a part of you and I love all of you, with the good and the bad. I think you've been trying to hide it but I don't think you've been coping as well as we have all been thinking and that's ok. I think you need her."
The older woman looked stunned next to her, Emma could see her trying to process everything and god did she admit she loved Regina? It all just came blurting out.
"Oh, Emma I…" Regina looked like she was struggling with what to say next, her brow furrowed and she looked like she was trying to hold back tears.
"Ok, maybe I shouldn't have just blurted all that out," Emma pulled Regina back into her side and the other woman lay her head against her shoulder.
"No," Regina started out slowly, "but it's true." Her lip quivered as she tried so hard to hold back the tears.
"It's ok, I've got you," Emma murmured into her temple, pressing kisses there too.
The tears fell then and she held tightly to Emma, breathing in gulps of air. "I was starting to think...I thought it was wrong...I hated myself for it...wanting her back...I should never have...I wish I hadn't...done it."
Emma felt her own tears falling then, she repeated murmured words of comfort and gently stoked Regina's tear soaked cheek with the back of her fingers. She knew what Regina was trying to say despite the incomplete sentences.
Regina sat up again then and cupped Emma's face with her hands, "Emma," she said her name as if it was the most beautiful thing, precious on her tongue. "I love you too."
They were smiling again through their tears and what a weird few days this had been, emotions all over the place but she would forever remember all of this. "We'll work this out together, you and me."
"Yes, together," Regina breathed out, resting her forehead against Emma's.
"We'll figure out how to make you whole again."
"And we'll stop your vision from coming true."
Emma's stomach knotted at that, so far she'd managed to avoid talking about her own issues but she found herself agreeing, "yes." Because now Emma had everything to live for, she had Regina and Henry and the rest of her family. This was something she wanted to hold onto tightly, she wouldn't go down without a fight.
Later when they are both stood before a whirling portal, they grip each other's hands tightly, Emma with the biggest smile on her face because she might be going home to chaos but beyond that she was looking forward to her future. Her future with Regina.
