A/N: this is just for fun. Don't take it seriously. I understand everyone is OOC. This has just been rattling around in my sick twisted mind for a few days.
Sorry if you don't find this funny, I thought it was hilarious. Let me know if you catch the quotes from different movies, and if you catch what movies I'm making fun of.
Written in third person.
The whole gang was sitting in the Curtis living room, watching Mickey Mouse.
"Aw, Mickey is so cute," Two-Bit said. "I just wanna eat him up."
Ponyboy rolled his eyes. "I'm thirsty," he said.
Darry jumped up. "Oh, Pony, let me get you some water!" he danced to the sink, got a cup, filled it with water, and headed back.
"Let me help you," he said in a sing-song voice. He tried to hold the cup for Pony to drink. He splashed it on Pony's face, and he started choking.
"No!" Johnny bellowed. He took his switchblade and stabbed Darry. He fell dead.
Just then there was a knock on the door. "Excuse me; I am here to examine your home."
Steve seemed to be the only sane on there. "Um, I have to go knit a sweater, bye guys." Everyone ignored him.
Soda let the lady in without question.
She walked inside, and tripped over Darry's dead body. This caused her to flail her arms around, trying to break her fall. She smacked Johnny's face in the process, making him tumble to the ground. Finally Soda caught her fall.
"Stupid rug," she muttered. She kicked Darry's head to the side, thinking it was a rug that got flipped up.
Steve must have gotten bored, because he came back. Steve came up to her. "Here, baby, let me show you somethin'." He took her hand and led her outside.
"This is what I am, in the light," he took off his DX shirt, revealing a sparkling, hairy chest. He had a beer-belly, and old age spots.
"You're…beautiful," she whispered. She went over to him and kissed him. He pushed her back.
"Stop, I can't control myself. You smell like…broccoli…my favorite."
She seemed frightened. She backed away slowly, as if he was a wild animal that would strike at any time.
Just then Ponyboy came outside. He stopped and looked at Steve's chest.
"Beautiful…" he whispered.
He turned away, throwing his pink bouncy-ball. "Pikachu, go!" he screamed. He ran after it, swinging his hips.
Johnny ran out, and started crying.
Dally was behind him. "What's wrong, kid? Not that I care. I'm the tuffest hood in the neighborhood; I don't got time for ya."
Johnny looked up. "I can't dance," he said.
"Why not?" Dally asked.
"I was absent the day they taught graceful," he said, with a sudden New York accent.
Dallas looked puzzled. "What? I'm confuzzled."
"It was a lame joke, Kumiko."
"What?" Why is this kid callin' me Kumiko? He thought. Now I'd understand King of the Tuff, or somethin'.
Johnny bowed, and crane-kicked him in the jaw.
"Ow, kid, what was that for?" Dallas yelled. Johnny was getting crazier by the minute.
Johnny looked confused. "I…don't…know."
"Look, kid," Dallas explained. "I…feel…very…protective…of…you," he said with exaggerated slowness. For some reason, he had the urge to call Johnny 'Bella'.
Johnny rolled his eyes. "Teach me to dance, will ya?"
Dally agreed. Soon he taught Johnny the art of ballet.
Just then a fat chubby creature came running up. "Alvin? Theodore?" Johnny asked.
"That's a guinea pig, you little shit," Dallas said. "Not a chipmunk."
"Oh," Johnny mumbled, on the verge of tears.
"Wait…how do you know?" Johnny asked.
"I…uh…guessed," Dallas lied. He didn't want Johnny to know his passion for animals.
The guinea pig stopped breathing. "No!" Dallas cried. He punched Johnny in the face, knocking him out.
He dragged the lifeless guinea pig body to a dark alley, and gave it mouth-to-mouth. It came back to life.
"Oh, thank heavens," Dallas said girlishly.
He brought the guinea pig to a horse store.
"Excuse me, I want to buy a saddle," he said to an employee.
"Okay, sir, what kind of horse do you have?"
"Well, here it is," he said, whipping out the guinea pig.
"Oh, I see you need a big size. Follow me."
He led Dallas to the back, where the large saddles were.
"Here, this should do."
Dally paid for it, and left. He rode the guinea pig home.
He got to the Curtis's and found Johnny on the floor.
"Whoa," he said to slow the guinea down. "Whoa, boy," the guinea pig came to a stop.
"Johnny, hop on," Dallas said. Johnny got on the back of the guinea pig.
It was slowly making its way up the stairs to the Curtis's front door, when a mailman came to the door, hoping to deliver mail.
Instead, he found Darry dead on the floor, Dally and Johnny trying to ride a guinea pig (which wasn't doing so good, by the way), Ponyboy trying to get "pikachu" to come out of his bouncy ball, and Two-Bit watching Mickey Mouse.
The mailman looked frightened. "What the hell?!"
"Why so serious?" Steve said. Then everything went black.
A/N: I don't care if you like this. If you happen to, review. Don't bash it. I thought it was funny. If you don't, I'm sorry. I really am. coughNOTcough.
Haha. I just wanted to show you the twisted, stupid side to me. there it was.
xD Johnnnycadesgirl16
