MAIN PAIRINGS: NESS (Nick/Jess), SHMECE (Schmidt/Cece)
The next chapter will be longer, I promise. Based off of the season finale coming out May 6th.
Cruise
CHAPTER 1
"Guess what The Schmidtty just got from work today? Wait, don't answer or try to guess that, because I am going to tell you right now." He reached into his bag and got out a brochure. "That is correct, I got six tickets to a beautiful cruise ship sailing towards the Caribbean. Well, you may be wondering, 'Oh my, Schmidt! How did you get such a great offer? Wasn't it expensive?'. Nope, it didn't cost me a penny because a co-worker of mine was going to go on a cruise with her gal-pals but they can't make it in time, so, as her former sexual partner, I got us some tickets for no cost at all. Thank you, thank you very much."
And everyone in the loft was left... shocked.
"We're going on a cruise?" Nick exclaimed happily, practically leaping out of his seat. "Oh, Schmidtty, I could hug you right now! Is it just going to be us six?"
"Well, obviously," Schmidt said, rolling his eyes. "I told you I got six tickets, do the math, Miller. My co-worker had eight tickets, but I didn't want to be greedy."
"But there's only five of us here," Coach pointed out, rolling his eyes. "I thought you were the one who's supposed to be good at math. You don't get to yell at Nick if you can't even count to five properly!"
"Oh, grow up, Ernie!" Schmidt yelled, folding his arms. "I am a successful businessman. I think I know how to count to five. I was planning on inviting Cece to come, too. Usually she's here all the time to see Jess, but for some reason she's not today, which I don't understand, but—"
"What? You want to invite our ex-girlfriend on a cruise ship with us?" Coach asked, raising his eyebrows. "That's a bad idea."
"First of all, she's not your ex, she's mine. You went on one date with her! I actually dated her and had an enjoyable sexual experience with her, and fell in love with her, and—" Schmidt began, but realized he was trailing off. "Anyway, second of all, she is my friend now, and I will invite her if I want to."
"Excuse me, but above being your ex and your friend, she is my best friend, so you can't top that!" Jess yelled. "Neither of you can!"
"Je-ss," Nick whined and reached over to put his arms around her. When he did, he received all sorts of weird looks from his friends. "What?" Then he realized. "Oh god, I'm sorry, I really am. I forgot... damn it, this is awkward now. Why do you guys always have to make everything awkward?"
"We didn't make it awkward, Nick," Coach said, rolling his eyes. "You did."
"You know, I love the sound of going on a cruise with you all, but we shouldn't do it," Winston spoke up, shaking his head. "This cruise ship think is just asking for constant drama and trouble! It's going to be awful, and we all know the two people who are going to make it unmanageable."
All eyes shifted to Nick and Jess.
"What? Us?" Jess questioned, shaking her head. "Winston, what the hell are you talking about?"
"No, no, no, Winston's right," Schmidt said, nodding his head. "This weekend would have been a disaster with Nick and Jess's awkwardness. I'm calling off the trip. I'll tell my co-worker Cynthia to come take her tickets back."
"Schmidt, no!" Nick cried, jumping off the couch and almost attacking him. "Look, man, I know Jess and I just broke up, but we are truly still friends, and we can handle this trip without awkwardness. It will be just like it was before we dated, except Coach is here, too... Anyways, please, can you trust me? We can do this. Don't call off the trip."
"I don't understand why we are being picked on for a bad break up!" Jess cried. "Your break up with Cece was way worse! How do we know you won't ruin the trip by getting back together with her and then just cheating on her again?"
"That was a dark time for me, Jess, you didn't have to bring it up!" Schmidt cried, folding his arms. "Insulting me will not make me want to call the trip back on, smart ass!"
"God, Jess, why can't you learn to—" Nick began, but then stared at the floor. "I mean, it's okay, bab—god, I'm just gonna go with not commenting at all in this situation."
"See? There's the awkwardness!" Winston exclaimed, clapping his hands together. "They can't do it, guys. They can't handle this trip."
"Oh my god, yes we can," Jess said, nodding her head. "It's just gonna be all of us together on a big ass cruise ship as friends! But can Schmidt handle it?"
"What? What? Of course I can handle it, it's you that can't!" he snapped. "Wait, why wouldn't I be able to handle it? I'm friendly with everyone at the moment!"
"I don't know, Cece may be texting her hot new Aussie boyfriend all the time," Jess taunted, smirking at him. "In fact, I think she's hanging out with him right now, and she could be getting frisky with him at this very moment!"
The thought obviously bothered Schmidt, but to his luck, the door bursted open, and it was Cece.
"Cece!" Schmidt cried, his voice cracking. "Where were you?"
"Um, I had some modeling stuff to take care of, sorry," she said, causing Schmidt to proudly look at Jess.
"Have you had sex with Buster?" Jess bursted out, causing Cece's eyes to go wide.
"This trip is gonna be nothing but awkward..." Winston whispered to Coach, who nodded his head in agreement.
