She was laying in bed in the middle of the night with a sleeping baby next to her… their baby… and no matter how many times she had called she could get him to answer his phone. She could be dying for all he knew and he obviously didn't care. She was overwhelmed and scared, but this wasn't the time to give in to her instincts. She had a baby to take care of now, although if this continued she wasn't sure if they were going to get to keep the baby. Somehow she didn't think parents in the middle of a divorce where what the adoption agency was looking for. Her stomach clenched when the word divorce crossed her mind. She didn't want one, but form the way Derek was acting she couldn't be sure of anything anymore. And right now she was so mad at him she wasn't even sure she could look at him. He knew her greatest fears, and he just had to throw one of them in her face.

She had spent most of the night trying to cam Zola and calling Derek, she had left more messages during the evening than she thought she had during their entire relationship. If he had heard any of them he was even worse than she thought. But the amount on phone calls in itself should say something. She was desperate. She knew he would want to know, he was the one who feel in love with this adorable baby first, this whole thing was his idea, and she knew he would be mad if nobody told him. But it was also the fact that she was freaking out, she didn't know how to take care of a baby, and she keep hearing his voice telling her that she would be a bad mother, he had never actually said the words but she could clearly hear them anyway. It wasn't exactly helping.

She looked over at the peacefully sleeping baby, it had taken some time, but she had gotten Zola to sleep. The baby had been fussing and didn't want to settle down. Every time Meredith thought she was sleeping and went to put her in the crib so would start screaming. Meredith concluded that it probably was the new environment because everything she picked her up she would calm down in her arms. In the end she gave up and just let the little girl stay in her bed. She understood that it could be scary for such a little person to be in a completely new place. She would be scared to.

She felt so alone, Alex was gone, Lexie, April and Avery had shown up yet, they probably still where at the hospital. And even with Cristina sleeping downstairs the hose felt empty.

With all the thinking she had done early morning slowly came, and for once she was actually glad she didn't have to go to work. She knew the little girl next to her soon would wake up hungry. She knew she was going to have to go shopping for baby clothes and furniture. She knew she would have to spend the next day's learning how to take care of a baby. She knew she would have to be there for Cristina if she needed her. She knew that no matter what happened next Zola was most important.

But from all the things that were clear and obvious there was one big unknown. What would happen between her and Derek? Would they be okay? And did she really want to spend the rest of her life with him? Well of curse she did, but right now she was to hurt to really care about that. Their relationship had always been massy and challenging, but if they were going to raise a baby together they couldn't just disappear like that.

It was a new day, a change to try and fix all the mess from yesterday.