Author's note:
I have here before you a Rocky Horror Picture Show inspired AU. Basically, the brothers stumble upon a house of angels run by the crazy doctor Gabriel. Stuff ensues. The first chapter especially borrows heavily from the original film, including its dialogue and situations. I like putting in the quotes, okay? The story will grow and evolve in the following chapters to change the ending and how everybody fits together.
There will be no Wincest. Despite Sam and Dean representing Brad and Janet, they will not have that same relationship. There will, however, be Cas/Dean, Sam/Gabriel, and a little tiny bit of implied (mostly) Gabe/Cas. Okay, enough of the preface stuff. Enjoy, and be sure to review! More to come.
I would like, if I may, to take you on a strange journey. It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Dean Winchester and his brother, Sam: two young, ordinary, healthy men, left Sioux Falls that late November evening to visit a Mr. Bobby Singer, a mentor and now friend to both of them. It's true that there were dark storm clouds: heavy, black, and pendulous, toward which they were driving. It's true also that the tank of their car was badly in need of some gas. But, they being normal boys and on a night out, well, they were not going to let a storm spoil the event of their evening. On a night out: it was a night out they were going to remember for a very long time.
The lightning cracked outside, followed almost immediately by a loud roll of thunder. The rain was pouring down in heavy sheets, making it very hard for Dean to drive.
"Damnit Sam! I knew we should have waited until tomorrow to go to Bobby's."
"Relax Dean, I think I see his house over there." It was dark, so they couldn't quite make out the ominous shape looming ahead of them. As they drew nearer, they realized that it wasn't Bobby's house at all, but some kind of castle.
"Well, screw this, we must've taken a wrong turn." Dean put the Impala in reverse, but then it sputtered to a halt.
"Sam! Did you forget to fill her up? You know that whenever you drive her, you have to get gas, and last I checked, you were the last one driving her!"
"I'm sorry! God, we can just go ask for help at that house up there. It looks like there are lights on."
Dean raised an eyebrow.
"You want to go into a creepy-ass castle to make a phone call? Are you out of your goddamned mind?"
"Hey, it can't hurt to try. Besides, do you want to spend the night in the car?"
"I've done it before."
Sam sighed. "Fine, but I'm going up to check it out, at any rate. You can join me if you're not feeling too chicken."
"Bitch."
"Jerk. Come on, let's go."
The rain was much worse when they were actually walking in it.
"This has got to be one of the worst ideas you have ever had." Dean's leather jacket was slick with water as they trudged through the mud. "I'm cold, I'm wet, and I'm about to ask for help in the freakiest building I've seen in my life, and that's saying something, because we've been to a lot of motels."
"Yeah, yeah, shut up." Sam's long hair was plastered to the sides of his face. He pushed a clump out of his eyes. "Look, we're here."
Sam looked nervously at the massive wooden doors as he rang the doorbell. He found it odd that such an ancient-looking castle would have a doorbell.
The old thing creaked open slowly to reveal a man with short, blonde hair. He was dressed in a tattered suit of some kind; he looked at Dean, and then to Sam.
"Hello," he said eerily. He had a British accent, even though they were in the middle of the country.
"Hi," Sam stepped forward and offered a hand to shake. When the British guy didn't take it, he drew back. "I'm Sam Winchester, and this is my brother, Dean. I wonder if you'd mind helping us, you see, our car ran out of gas just down the road. Is there any chance you have a telephone we could use?"
The British butler looked at them for a long moment.
"You're wet," He finally commented.
"Yeah, genius, it's raining," Dean said, frustrated. He already had enough with the haunted castle thing, he wanted out. Sam elbowed him in the ribs.
"I think you'd better both come inside."
If the exterior of the house was creepy, the interior was just plain weird. The walls were painted as if the artist couldn't decide what color to use, so all of them were splashed around the rooms. There were portraits hanging, but instead of pictures of beloved family members, there were a bunch of framed nudes, both men and women. Sam kept his eyes trained on the butler, but Dean was rather…distracted.
"So, who do you think lives here?" Sam said to Dean.
"My best guess is crazy pornstar-turned-millionaire."
The two could hear the sound of music and the light buzz of chatter coming from somewhere.
"Is, uh, someone having a party?"
A woman wearing a distressed maid's outfit with bright red hair perked her head up. Sam and Dean jumped. She had been standing there the whole time, but they only just noticed her.
"This is a very special night for the master of this house," she said, running her hand along Sam's back and making him shudder.
Without a word, the two walked to a pair of light pink double doors and threw them open. Everyone turned to stare at the brothers. It was a large ballroom with sky blue walls, full of…interesting people. They were dressed in all different types of clothes. Some were professional, dressed in suits and elegant dresses; some looked like they had just been begging on the side of the street. Some were dancing, some were eating from the buffet that consisted solely of pastries and candy, and some appeared to be chatting amongst one another.
"Okay, Sam, I've officially decided that we're leaving," Dean said under his breath. Sam nodded in agreement, and they slowly backed out of the room. Suddenly they heard the creaking of an elevator (yes, an elevator) behind them. The door opened as Sam and Dean turned around.
The figure in the elevator, the master of the house, was shorter than both of the Winchesters despite his six-inch heels. He was wearing a cape around his shoulders that covered whatever he had on underneath. Dean hoped that he did, in fact, have on something underneath. His lips were painted blood red, and his hair was dark blonde and teased. He smiled at the two boys behind his makeup.
"How do you do? I must say I am only slightly disappointed, I thought you were the candy man." He stepped out of the elevator and began to walk down through the party, which parted to make a path for him. "My, isn't it warm in here," he said as he reached the other end of the room. He whipped off the cape. Dean had never wanted to gouge his eyes out so much as at that moment.
The man was wearing fishnet stockings and garters that went up to his bright red panties. He also had on a bustier, a matching cherry color. And that was about all he had on. The crossdresser walked over to the table with refreshments and began to fill up a cup of pink lemonade. Sam gulped.
"Um, hi, we ran out of gas, and were wondering if you had a phone we could use? We just want to make a quick call, then we'll be on our way." The man finished his beverage before acknowledging their existence.
"Don't worry, babe," he said as he tossed his cup aside. "I'll call you up a mechanic. But for now, since there's such an excellent party going on, I'd like to invite you two up to my laboratory to see my latest and greatest toy." He snapped his fingers and disappeared, leaving nothing behind but the sound of fluttering wings.
The partygoers all filed out leaving the Winchesters, the two housekeepers, and a third woman who must have been another servant of sorts. She was dressed differently, in a sequined outfit.
Dean felt his jacket lifted off his shoulders by the butler.
"Oh, um, thanks," Sam said as the maid did the same to him. But they didn't stop there. Off went their shirts, and then everything else.
"Slowly, slowly," the girl in the sequins said, looking at Sam and licking her lips. "It's too nice of a job to rush."
When Sam and Dean were wearing nothing but their boxers, the servants walked into the elevator, gesturing for them to follow.
"Come now, Gabriel doesn't like to be kept waiting." Truth be told, the elevator was not nearly big enough to fit five people, let alone three people and two large men. However, it made its journey without so much as a hitch.
The laboratory was certainly something. It looked a bit like a grand bathroom, with pale pink tiles coating every surface. There were a few very huge, very naked statues that were very well endowed in…that region.
Our host now wore a hot pink lab coat and stood waiting as the party stepped out of the elevator. The rest of the guests now stood on the balcony that wrapped around the room.
"Becky," he said as the sequin girl stepped out from behind the Winchesters. "Anael." She, too, stepped out at the mention of her name. "Go and assist Balthazar with the preparations as I entertain, er," Gabriel extended a hand to Dean.
"I'm Dean, and this is Sam."
"Pleased to meet you," the doctor said as he kissed Sam's hand. Sam and Dean looked at each other. What kind of freak show was this?
"I'd offer you something to cover up, but it's too nice of a show to miss," his eyes trailed down Sam's body. Dean had quite enough of this.
"You listen here-"
"Ladies and gentlemen," Gabriel said as he stepped behind the microphone. Sam and Dean backed up towards the elevator. "Well, I guess it's more accurate to say 'lady, gentlemen, and angels'. Tonight, you are about to witness my greatest feat. Many a time have we been able to recreate life. Been there, done that. But tonight, I will be the first to make an entirely new angel!" The crowd hooted. Dean and Sam clapped politely.
Gabriel turned to a big…thing that was covered in a red cloth.
"Hooplah!" He said, throwing his hands up in the air. The girls whipped the fabric away with a flourish. Underneath was some sort of tank, with a figure inside that was bandaged from head to toe. Everyone gasped. Gabriel began painting weird symbols on the side of the tank.
Balthazar started to turn a wheel on the kooky control panel, and a large light lowered. It was connected to a bunch of tubes and multicolored nozzles. The doctor furiously began to open the valves, letting stream after stream of colored liquid pour into the tank. When a perfect rainbow spectrum formed in the waters, he closed the nozzles.
"One more thing," He carefully took a tube of candy sugar from his pocket, opened it, and poured a little into his mouth, then the rest into the tank. All of the colors took on a slightly pinkish tint.
"Now!" He cried. There was a great flash of light, and when it dissipated, all the sigils were gone. The liquid had disappeared as well, leaving the bandaged person at the bottom of the tank. Then, he began to move his arms. Gabriel shrieked with delight. Becky reached over the glass to pull the bandages from his face. Everyone stared, and the new man was looking with intense blue eyes at…Dean. Becky and Anael helped him out of the tank and began to take off his bandages, while Gabriel was getting touchy. What was beneath the wrappings was surely a sight to see. The man was perfectly chiseled, and wearing nothing more than a light blue speedo. It matched his eyes, Dean thought.
"Welcome to the world…Castiel!" Everyone cheered and whistled.
"He's a credit to your genius," Balthazar said.
"A triumph of your will," Anael added.
Becky took a look at all that muscle. "He's not bad," she agreed.
"Not bad? Not bad?" Gabriel all but shouted. "He's much more than 'not bad'."
He took Castiel's hand and led him over to where Sam and Dean stood. "What do you think, boys?"
Dean was awestruck in silence. "I, uh, I'm not into men…" Sam said hesitantly.
"I didn't make him for you, knucklehead." Gabriel walked his new toy over to the center of the crowd. "I happen to think that he's absolutely perfect." The crowd cheered again. Castiel had no reaction to this and just looked around, curious. His mouth said the first word he could access.
"H-hello," the new angel said, his mouth slowly forming the sounds.
"He speaks!" Gabriel threw his arm around Castiel's shoulder. "My baby, are you and I going to have a good time!"
Castiel thought that he should smile at this statement, so he did.
"But you're not finished yet," Gabriel continued. "We'll soon be getting you shipshape with a wonderful workout regimen created by, oh yes, me!" He patted Castiel on the bicep. "But since it is your birthday, I thought we'd have a little fun first." He waved his hand, and the girls pulled aside some curtains that led to a bedroom of sorts decked out like a honeymoon suite. "Take me away!" Gabriel leapt into Castiel's arms and he carried him to the bed, shooting one last look at the green-eyed stranger. The curtains closed and a shriek of joy came from within that could only belong to the doctor.
"Come with me," Becky said to Sam. She led him to his bedroom, and handed him a silk robe. "If there's anything you need at all, just let me know." She leaned close to him and whispered "anything."
Dean was also taken to a room and given a robe by Anael. He then lay in the bed with his arms crossed on top of his chest. Why, of all of the possible houses they could have stumbled upon, did they have to be in this one? Everything that happened was weird and crazy and made no sense. He sighed, unaware that the night wasn't going to end there.
