A/n: This is my first Frasier fic, and I'm afraid it's going to be a big one so please comment to keep me going :) This story is AU set in between season 7 and 8. The balcony scene did happen, and Niles declared his love for Daphne, but she didn't have a change of heart and still went on to marry Donny.
The story is partly based on the song "This Mess We're In" by PJ Harvey and Thom Yorke, as well as some other passages from songs of PJ Harvey's "Stories of the City, Stories of the Sea" album. It's mostly set in NYC. I don't own anything and there will be some references to sex and violence in this story, so kids, don't read it!
Prologue
I should have seen in coming. Ever since my brother came back from his honeymoon, he's been acting strangely. Oh hell, he had been acting strangely before that. I can't say I was waiting for this to happen, but it didn't surprise me either.
One summer evening, around 11 am, there was a knock on my door. Or, well, a banging. I have yet to get used to opening my own door, but this ear-penetrating noise got me up in a minute.
There was my brother, his suit creased, tie loosened and smelling terribly of alcohol. He was leaning against the doorstep as if he where ready to faint.
"Hey Niles, what's up?"
He slumped into the living room and sat down on the couch
"Well, I'm terrific" and then, after a pause: "Mel and I have separated"
Martin, who had been quiet all this time, looks up and says "oh I'm sorry son" not sounding very surprised
Frasier continues: "Oh dear, Niles are you OK? When did this happen?"
"Just this morning, actually. We had a bit of a conflict after getting up... and she decided it'd be best if we took some time to think about our relationship... some time apart.. so, I'm back. Alone."
"Oh dear.. well, could you tell me how this happened.. what was this fight all about?"
"Well, I'm afraid I'm not quite drunk enough to get into details" (Frasier frowns) "but basically she thinks I'm gay"
His father and brother look at him in awe and Martin bursts into laughter "No, not this again! I mean it's not a big leap to think about it (Frasier and Niles look at their father angrily) but why did she come up with it just now?"
"Well..(sighs) this is embarrassing... she believes that I'm not able to please her.. sexually"
"and how...erm I mean why would she think...I mean, how could you.. what might have caused... I mean, are you..." Frasier attempts but at that moment, they hear the sound of the door unlocking. The door swings open and Daphne enters the room.
"Hi all, Donny had a late meeting with a client so I figured I'd come over to get some of me things; Donny and I are going on a trip next week; and see how you guys are (notices Niles) doing..."
(Niles stands up) "Good evening Daphne"
"Good evening Dr Crane (fumbles at her skirt) I didn't see you there until just now. How are you doing? I've missed..(face turns red and she looks at the floor) erm... how are you and Mel?"
"Not so good, I'm afraid. We had a big fight this morning and we have decided to separate"
"Oh dear... I didn't mean to... I mean...how did this happen?"
"I'm afraid It's too inappropriate and embarrassing do discuss that just now... do you mind if I'd save you that treat for later?"
"Fine, Dr Crane...well, I'd better get my things and get going"
"What?" Martin replies "I thought you came over to catch up and have a drink with us..you leaving already?"
"I'm afraid so. I mean, look at the time.. how silly of me to come over at this hour...I'm very sorry and I'll just be a minute"
Clearly in a hurry, she runs to her former bedroom and within the 5 minute mark, she's back out again, saying her goodbyes very hastily and running towards the door.
"Very nice to see you again, Dr Crane" she remarked at Niles, before storming out the door and slamming it behind her.
"Jeez, what was that all about?" Martin remarked. Niles was already on his way to the liquor cabinet. He poors himself a gigantic drink, chugs it back in one gulp, then poors another one before stumbling to the couch and bursting out in tears.
"Oh my god, what am I supposed to do? Every time I see her.. I...and now, the only hope I had on a tiny piece of happiness has left me, and it's all my fault. I neglected Mel, I neglected her for a month. I've been cheating on her in my dreams and I didn't care about her, I didn't care what she was thinking at all! I'm a terrible, terrible person!"
"Oh Jeez" says Martin. "Well, maybe this is the time you should tell us the whole story" Frasier added.
"Oh, I might as well. Even though it's totally embarrassing and awkward to discuss in front of my family. After Daphne's wedding, I was gutted, obviously. But Venice took my mind of things a bit. That is, up until the 5th day or something, when I started having these dreams... I dreamt that I was in bed with Mel...we where making love and she was... well... sitting on top of me..."
Martin: "oh jeez!"
"...and staring up, I could see Daphne staring at us from next to the bed, crying...I'd wake up screaming "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" and Mel, who woke up from my screaming, acted like there was nothing going on...
Later that same day, we where in bed, making love..."
Martin: "that's it. I'm gonna grab a beer."
"... and I was reminded of that dream... I just, god this is awkward.. and I felt completely miserable. I started sobbing and crying uncontrollably...while I was still inside her! I mean... I was absolutely mortified, so I've been trying to avoid getting close to Mel ever since. I even resolved in eating a seafood buffet that I knew had gone bad... and well, when you spent 3 days on the toilet with a bucket on your lap hurling your guts out in a bathroom in Venice with a golden sink, just to avoid having sex with your wife, you know you've hit rock bottom...
Frasier: "thanks for the mental Image Niles..
"The dreams didn't stop though. It was the same dream over and over again...Mel started noticing me being distant, I ignored all her advances and stayed up late so we wouldn't have to go to bed together. Then one night, last night, my dream had evolved... I was standing on the balcony with Daphne, just like on the night I had told her I loved her. But this time, she didn't back away and run back into Donny's arms... she took my hand and led me back to the bedroom, which, remarkably, was completely empty. She threw my arms around her and started kissing me very passionately. I pushed my body up against hers and we fell down on one of the beds.. it was so vivid, I could feel everything. I felt how she kissed my neck, unbuttoned my shirt..I could feel every curve of her body, her skin on my skin, my... Ok no need to tell so much details. It was the best dream I had ever had...
And then I woke up... and Mel was staring at me...looking very amorous. Apparently, the noises I was making in my dream had woken her up, and she had noticed I was, erm, well... In a certain condition and she was trying to take advantage of that. Instead of going with it, I yelped and jumped up to take a cold shower. When I came out of there, It all came gushing out: How she noticed I was neglecting her, that I showed no sexual desire towards her whatsoever, that I was too feminine to begin with and she could make only one conclusion: that I was gay and that our marriage was only a cover-up to keep my good name. I told her I wasn't, that there was a reasonable explanation for all this. But then I realized that to explain this, I had to tell her about my feelings for Daphne. Which in my eyes, was worse than her thinking I'm gay. So I chocked. And she kicked me out..."
"And what are you going to do about this situation?" Frasier questioned.
"Well, I have to sober up I guess... and then I'm going to think this whole thing trough..."
"That's fine, Niles. Now, you can stay here for the night and we'll discuss this whole thing once you've sobered up. Thanks for sharing this story. I hope I can help you in getting a positive outcome..."
The next morning, Martin, Frasier and Niles are sitting at the breakfast table, with Niles looking very hung over. He is avoiding discussing Mel and Daphne, instead he is talking to Frasier about his latest case studies.
"Once again, psychiatry has been the saving grace of my life. I recently started a research about romantic relationships of people with autism. It's absolutely fascinating. You know, a lot of autistic people don't experience love and relationships the way we do. They don't see the point or they simply don't know how to approach or communicate with people, let alone of the opposite sex...The thing is, sometimes people with autism do fall in love and manage to maintain a stable relationship... and that's only where the fascinating bit starts, since these people don't have the social skills of regular people there are a lot of bumps in the road but still...it's possible!"
"Fascinating Niles! How did you come up with the idea of researching autistic people?"
"Well, I am trying to treat some of my OCD's and during my research I found out there where some overlaps with disorders in the autistic spectrum, since these people very often have OCD's... however, the source is completely different. But it got me interested! I'm publishing a paper of my studies this week and next week, they have invited me to be a guest lecturer at the Columbia University of New York, followed by a congress that weekend!"
"That's amazing Niles!"
(Martin, who has not been listening suddenly looking up from his paper) "Oh look! Mel is claiming that you're gay in the society pages too now!"
(Niles rolls his eyes) "Well, whatever. I'm off to work and then I'm gonna go pack!"
