Sex-Ed In A Bathroom
Life was fairly normal, or as normal as it was for a teenage – almost too old to be teenage – heroine who went around the city saving people from evil and crime and downright idiots who decided to test the limits of the Teen Titans and Raven's patience which was on some occasions wearing thin due to the constant bickering of Beast Boy and Cyborg, the incessant squeals of Starfire and it seemed that the only other who was feeling the stress would be Robin who she sometimes caught the tired and weary eye of from across the table at dinner.
Such was the tumultuous life of Raven in the tower and life was quite tolerable despite everything. That was until a certain letter, arrived as the group were having pizza during a night in the town. The letter arrived not in the practical way that most letters arrived through a mail box. Five floated down innocently enough in front of them, the envelope bright and yellow and red and everyone knew in an instant who exactly it was from without having to open it. And of course, upon opening it, there was a loud crackle and a puff of orange powder flew out of the envelope, sending the recipients to sleep in an instant.
Raven should have totally seen this coming. And those were her exact thoughts as she sat on the white tiled floor of some bathroom, looking in annoyance at the paper on the floor, the only thing between her and her former test partner who sat on the opposite end of the bathroom which just happened to have no door. How perfect was this? The words were written in bright red ink on yellow paper. It seemed Mad Mod had a thing for the sunny colours.
Hello, hello again my kiddies! You didn't think dear old Mad Mod had disappeared for life did you? Well here it is, another beautiful test for my children to fill out. I'm sure you smart children can do it! Besides, think of it as less than a test and more of a survey. You may learn a little more about your subjects, so watch out little birdies, you'd better get the questions right. You've got a little longer than last time, so I'll be expecting those papers in no more than TWO hours!
Cheers!
As if on cue, a very thick booklet landed in front of them out of nowhere and for the first time since the two woke up, a few minutes earlier, they spoke.
"So, we're back here again Red X."
The boy smirked from behind his mask and he leaned against the wall lazily, stretching his legs out and kicking the note away. "Guess so, it's been a while hasn't it, Babe?"
A purple brow rose. "If a while you mean the period of time that I rather enjoyed because it didn't involve you? Then no, it hasn't been long enough."
"Aw, don't be like that Chikadee," he said smoothly, picking up the booklet and the pencil that came on top of it. "You know you missed me. Besides, we never got our kinky episode after hours."
Scoffing, the girl glared at the boy and stood up, taking her seat instead on top of the closed toilet seat, crossing her legs and sighing heavily. "This is ridiculous. How many more absurd questions does Mad Mod have about sex-ed? How many more can there be?"
Red X grinned from behind his mask at her and Raven could just feel the dark smile on his lips as he flipped through the papers and answered the questions. "You really wanna find out?"
Wrinkling up her nose, she shook her head. "Maybe not."
"It's pretty entertaining." He cocked his head at her suggestively, waving the booklet in front of him but the girl gave him a pointed look and turned away.
"Thanks but I'd rather still have all my brain cells in check."
The boy grinned and stood, bending so his face was level with hers when he said in a low, husky tone, "Trust me, it's not brain cells that'll be getting excited. The ones that will, lay just a little south of your head."
Purple eyes widened and if it hadn't been for the villain's quick moves, the sorceress' hand would have collided with his masked cheek. They stayed like that for a few moments, glaring at each other, one of her slender hands being held in a tight grip by his own to prevent it from colliding with any part of his anatomy. He chuckled lowly and she pulled away roughly and folded her arms, sitting back against the cistern and looking away with a sulky look on her face as Red X sat back down and scribbled down more answers.
Raven was embarrassed and angry beyond words and being stuck here yet again with the dirty talking villain didn't exactly help her calm down any more. Sure, the last time wasn't that bad in her opinion but she had much better things to do than sit around doing some stupid test. She vaguely wondered what everyone else was doing but ignored them, knowing that like her, they'd get out just fine in the end. Well...as long as she and Red X didn't end up screwing the answers up. Though considering last time, despite the ludicrously thought up answers, maybe this time they wouldn't have too many problems.
She looked towards Red X who was faithfully scrawling down answers in that slightly messy, crooked handwriting of his that she remembered so well from the last time they were stuck together like this. Normally, the girl would try to find a way out of a nasty situation like this but seeing as she'd be released eventually, there seemed little point. Running a hand through her hair, she continued to watch the boy who was silent all the while. The only sound that could be heard was the scratch of the pencil against paper and their soft breathing.
It was a comfortable silence, but what wasn't so comfortable was how it was beginning to get a little hot in the room. Even the mirror above the sink was beginning to get steamed up in the middle. Frowning, she turned to the boy on the ground and asked quietly, "Are you feeling hot?"
He looked up and she could feel him smirking from behind his black suit. "With a girl as hot as you around, who wouldn't be?" Seeing her un-amused frown and serious gaze, he snickered and relented. "But yeah I guess you're right; it is getting a little warm in here, and I'm guessing that it's not your doing."
"Well, that's definitely one of the smartest things you've said so far." Standing up, she walked towards the sink with soft steps and leaned over, turning on the cold water tap which spurned out some pretty chilly water and which helped with the rising temperature. Though her leaning just next to the tall boy, gave him a very lovely view of her shapely legs and Raven hardly realised the way he eyed her slim limbs appreciatively.
"Very nice," he drawled with a grin and, pulling off a glove, he ran a slim finger from the back of her knee, down her calf and to where her shoes began. Not used to being touched by anyone, Raven – as shocked as she was – gasped and jumped back, turning to face him in the process with anger and defiance, bumping her back into the edge of the bathtub and resulting in her legs collapsing under her and her falling onto her legs. Her glare never faltered, even when he began sniggering.
"Ok, Red X -,"
"Say my name again will you, Babe?" he cut in smoothly.
"WE have to set some boundaries. This place is a whole lot smaller than last time and I'm not having you step over these boundaries. Got it?"
"Or what, Raven my pet?"
Frowning dangerously, she hissed, "Or that mask of yours will be flushed down the toilet. And we all know how much masked men hate for their identity to be uncovered, especially by their enemies."
"Oh, you wound me, my dark beauty. And all I wanted was to please you," he said theatrically, holding his hand to his heart.
Dark eyes rolled and narrowed dangerously. "Then please me by staying over there. After that row of tiles. Not one toe over. Not a hair." She paused and glared at him before opening her mouth once more. "And not even that booklet. I'll get it myself."
"So you get to cross but I'm not allowed? Sounds real fair, Babe," he said with amusement. "But anyway, I think you should help me with the next question, 'how long approximately does it take for a girl to get ready for sex?'
She was about to reply to his previous statement but stopped short at the question and was rendered momentarily speechless. Blinking at the boy who seemed to be trying to contain his laughter, the girl opened her mouth to answer and then closed it, doing this a few times before blushing and clearing her throat and averting her eyes to the ground and asking sheepishly, "You mean people actually have to get ready for that sort of thing?"
It was now Red X's turn to be rendered speechless and he looked at her blankly, his laughter stopping immediately. "Are you being seriously?" he asked slowly.
Glaring and turning away, embarrassed, she snapped lightly, "And you know everything about sex because you're such a ladies' man."
"As a matter of fact…" he began
"I don't want to hear it!" she shouted quickly, cutting him off quickly, slamming her hands over her ears, hearing only his laughter.
Masked eyes twinkled behind the layer of cloth, taking in the rather deadpan yet eccentric girl at the same time. Turning back to the booklet, he gave a short, pondering "hmm" and tapped a finger to his chin in thought. From across him, Raven rose one violet brow in question and leaned forward.
"Tough question?"
He screwed up his face and shook his head. "More like confusing…ambiguous."
Figuring she may be a tiny bit of help, the girl sighed and relented. "What is it?"
The boy quirked a grin and thought about it. The question wasn't hard, it was just a little confusing as to which answer one would come up with and which would be more right in its own way. "Alright then," he said in his smooth drawl. "Why is it that women use their thing to get a guy's attention?"
"Their…thing?"
"Hey, I told you it was weird. I guess it depends what you mean by…their thing."
Bringing her knuckles to her lips thoughtfully, she looked at him with her dark eyes and began to speak very business like. "Alright, well considering the fact that it's Mad Mod, what thing do you think he's referring to? The female species have a lot of…things."
"You're telling me," he mumbled only to find a pair of sharp amethysts gazing with contempt at him. "I said nothing," he assured her gravely. "Do you think he's talking about…their…y'know…?" he gestured to her chest area but her eyes just narrowed.
"Not all girls use these, X. Try again."
He replied with a scoff. "Yes, but my dear little bird, haven't we already established that you're not all girls? Therefore it wouldn't be entirely wrong to use…mammary glands as the answer."
"Some girls don't have particularly large mammary glands!"
"But if they did –,"
"Stop." She held up her hand and sighed. "This is pointless. We're arguing about mammary glands for goodness' sake. Let's try to think about something else."
The boy seemed to grin at her from behind the mask and he chuckled rather affectionately which surprised Raven. Red X wasn't known to be affectionate. Crude, playful and a rule-breaker – not to mention a barrier-breaker – but affection rarely was a part of his personality. But in this case, he found it quite endearing that the sorceress was so intent on finding the answer. Most probably it was so that she could get out of here as fast as possible and get back to her friends – to his discomfort, that included Robin – and barricade herself in her room. Strangely enough, he rather enjoyed Raven's company; she was insanely funny to annoy and he quite like the way her cheeks flushed when she was confronted with a rather embarrassing question. He decided he'd try with her anyway.
"Do you think it has to be a physical asset?"
She looked at him then, thoughtful. "Good question. I suppose not. I mean…that thing could mean their personality."
"This is Mad Mod," he commented, sending a look her way which she nodded to, surprisingly.
"That's true too." Pondering over it for a little longer, she finally said, "What about hair?"
This surprised him. He'd never have thought of hair. But then again, whenever he was walking round the streets and a girl looked his way, she usually unconsciously or deliberately pushed her hair out of her face or shrugged it over a shoulder. Even Raven had run her hands through her hair, allowing it to fall over her shoulders once in a while. He smiled suddenly and leaned back. "Well, that could certainly be it. I'll write it down then. Women use their hair to attract a guy's attention because men love to touch a girl's hair, run their fingers through it and after all, hair is their crowning glory."
Despite herself, a small chuckle escaped dark eyed girl. This didn't go unnoticed. "Ah so you can laugh."
Shooting him a pointed look, she said kindly, "You do remember that last time we did this you did manage to crack a smile on more than one occasion?"
"But of course, cupcake, the question was whipped cream or chocolate sauce and you were the one who said both. I was really hoping you'd take me seriously on a delicious midnight endeavour." His voice was mocking and feigning sadness and she couldn't help but roll her eyes and shoot him a small smirk. "Maybe this time?" Seeing her uncertainty he added, "I swear to refrain from feeling you up, kidnapping you, tying you up and performing tantric games on you. The mask stays though."
Thinking about it, she was sure he wasn't going to trap her or use her or anything so, the only likely response was, "Fine."
Apparently this answer was unexpected and he froze, staring wide eyed at her from behind his mask, although Raven could tell he was dumfounded. Grinning internally, the girl added innocently, "Well, if you weren't being serious, you don't have - ,"
"No!" he shouted quickly, cutting her off. "I mean I was being serious only…I'm kinda surprised with your answer. I dunno, I sorta thought I'd be thrown headfirst into a wall before you'd agree to going to desserts with me."
She shrugged. "I'm flexible."
"I'm sure you are." His comment earned him a mock glare but even he could see the laughter behind it. Perfect. He had a sweet rendezvous with one of Spin City's most respected Titans. This was way beyond awesome. He turned back to the booklet, scribbling down more answers for the rest of the questions, marking those he didn't do with a star. Strangely enough, he hardly minded that he was the one doing most of the work. With an hour left, he had managed to complete majority of the questions and looking at the clock, Raven turned to him.
"How much have you done?"
"Most of 'em. Want to help me out with those I didn't?"
"Shoot."
Flipping back a few pages, he found one. "Right. 'True or false; women like men to smell like aftershave."
"True."
"'True or false; a girl is most likely to…have felt herself up by the age of seventeen?'" he asked slowly, looking up to see the girls' reaction.
"Well obviously, that's true."
He was about to write that down when he paused and looked up at her as if seeing her in a new light. But the girl only scoffed and threw a disgusted look his way. "When you're in the shower, you do use soap and if you want to be clean, that'll definitely involve soaping yourself, therefore you pretty much feel yourself up from the time you're old enough to shower yourself."
"Lateral thinking, I love it babe."
She smiled curtly. "You're welcome. Next question?" Her question was more of a demand than a question and he hid a grin, even if she wouldn't be able to see it anyway.
"Ok, 'Are girls more susceptible to sugar highs in comparison to guys?'"
"No idea," she deadpanned but added smoothly, "But I'm guessing that's a "no" because during a certain time of the month they eat mounds of the stuff and seem normal."
He nodded and wrote it down, saying with a fiendish smirk, "I guess we'll see just how much sugar you can handle tonight though."
A thin brow rose. "Is that a challenge?"
"Only if you want it to be." Red X stretched his arms back and sighed, looking at her with that predatory gaze.
Raven was unfazed. "I don't back away from challenges."
Now there was the cue he'd been waiting for. Grinning, he crossed his legs and leaned both elbows on it, resting his chin in his hands. "Brilliant. I bet I can eat more sugar and thereby keep from laughing longer than you." He held out a gloved hand and before he'd extended it as far as he intended, she was already grasping it and shaking.
"You're on. Next question please."
"Do girls prefer to do it lying down or in the doggy position?' You see, I've always wanted to know this one," he said earnestly, scratching the back of his head. The girl rolled her eyes and answered him.
"Doggy position; you can never look bad in that position." Her answer was so honest and light hearted that he took her word for it.
He wrote it down and when he got to one of the questions he'd been anxiously waiting for, he grinned and looked up into her waiting face. "Cherry oil, or raspberry oil?"
The frown confirmed it. "Oil?"
"Oil. It'd edible massage oil…if you know what I mean." He looked for any understanding only to find a blank gaze. "Basically you douse your mate with it and lick it off them."
Raven screwed up her face. "And I thought edible lip gloss was bad." Sighing, she reluctantly said her answer; "Raspberry I suppose…I like the flavour and besides, artificial cherry flavour tastes horrible."
He laughed. "Fair enough, raspberry it is. And the last and final question is: 'Does size really matter?'"
There was a long moment of silence and Red X had to fight hard to keep his laughter in check at the annoyance on the girl's face. Her dead answer and the poison in her tone made him unable to contain it though and he burst out into fits of laughter.
"It is if you want to know the proper size when buying protection."
Shaking his head, Red X quickly wrote down the answer. "By the way," he added as he finished off, "do you have any cinnamon perfume?"
Raven glanced at him, puzzled. "Cinnamon?"
"Yeah, cinnamon."
The violet eyed girl thought for a moment, tapping her finger to her lips as she thought about it. "I do have cinnamon scented oil that I sometimes burn in my room."
He grinned. "Perfect. Wear it tonight."
She blinked. "And why exactly do you want me to smell of apple pie?"
He scoffed exasperatedly and opened up the booklet of answers. "Because," he stated, pausing for emphasis as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Men love the scent of cinnamon because of its aphrodisiacal properties! Duh!"
Raven was dumbfounded, and if she didn't have any dignity, she would've slapped her forehead very hard. Well, you learn something new every day, only in this case it seemed as if the things she'd learned weren't exactly fundamental in everyday life. "Dude, I have half a mind to cancel."
But he held up a finger in front of her face abruptly, in a very teacher like fashion. "Uh uh uh. You can't cancel. Seeing as I'm not allowed to touch, grope, perform tantric games on you or kidnapping you – something I really was hoping you'd let me do – the least you can do is smell like cinnamon and bring me a little pleasure."
Indigo orbs glittered with amusement and a slight flush made its way onto the girl's grey cheeks. She was sure if it hadn't been for Red X's incessant bouts of humour, she'd have rendered him unconscious. She told him as much but he'd merely laughed at her and leaned in closer, whispering naughtily,
"No you wouldn't, you'd have gone insane without me here, cupcake."
Just then, a bell sounded and they looked up at the clock simultaneously, seeing that their time was up. In a fraction of a second, the bathroom around them disappeared and they wound up in the same alleyway that they'd ended up in last time. And like last time, hero and villain alike were standing there, slightly stunned, muttering amongst each other and looking for their friends.
Raven snorted and folded her arms. "Appears we weren't the only ones."
"Mm," was her companion's reply as he leaned on the wall next to her and watched with identical disgust as everyone caught up and exchanged happenings and whatnot. "Sickening isn't it."
"Totally."
Noting the fact that Wonder Boy was making his way over to Raven, concern written all over his face, the villain smirked and took Raven's hand, pulling her into his chest as he whispered gently into her ear, "Boy Blunder is on his way so I'll just take my time with you shall I?" It was more of a statement than a question but Raven, feeling very much giddy at being held so close like this, didn't have the heart to push him away. His fingers teased her waist and his breath tickled her ear, making her erupt in goose bumps all over. "I'll meet you in an hour and a half right back here." Pulling back smoothly, he was just in time to catch the livid look on Robin's face. "Later cupcake, it was fun." And then, in a puff of red smoke, he was gone.
Half a smile was still lingering on her lips when Robin finally reached her. "Raven?" he asked worriedly. "Are you ok?"
"Fine...just fine actually," she said softly, still in a slight daze. A thought occurred then and she turned to Robin. "Hey, just a question,"
The masked boy blinked. "Er, ok?"
"Do you like cinnamon?"
A/N: RIGHT! Finally, the much asked for sequel to Sex Ed. I never imagined that it would be such a hit amongst you all but I'm flattered to say the least! It's got to be the best one-shot I've ever written and now I'm hoping that the sequel does the first one justice! I hope you all like...looks around nervously But geeze it's been a blast always finding reviews for the first one. Now I guess we see just a little more insight into their relationship. Haha, Raven's actually giving our sexy thief a chance! So, I'm hoping that you'll all like this one as much as the last! So please REVIEW and tell me what you think! Ya'll rock!
Peace out!
Rex
