I own nothing, as per usual!

...

"Skull!" Bulk rushed in, a worried look on his face, "Close the bar."

"What, why?"

"It's all over the news!" Bulk rushed to the window, looking at as if someone were hunting him, "The Ninja Rangers won!"

"Oh," Skull sighed, "Well, that's that then." He went to get the closed sign, knowing full well what was next. He just hoped it wasn't like last year…

...

"Tommy."

"No."

"You have to accept this."

"No."

There was an exaggerated inebriated sigh, "Tommy."

"No."

"It was bound to happen."

"No."

"Tommy."

"No."

Jason carefully stood, then proceeded to walk around the chair Tommy was sitting in like he was interrogating Zedd himself.

"You won't break me." Tommy muttered stubbornly. They stared at each other in icy silence. Tommy warily reached for his drink, still eyeing Jason.

"Tommy."

"No." He took a drink, gulping it down slowly. Jason tapped his foot, then he finally burst, waving his arms wildly.

"Do you even HAVE your Ninja powers anymore?"

"How DARE you?" Tommy stood, his mug clanging to the floor (it was empty, but Skull still cringed), "Once a Ninja ALWAYS A NINJA!"

"Show me one Ninja thing!" Jason slammed a finger into Tommy's chest, unaware that they were swaying back and forth as they were nose-to-nose, "Just ONE!"

"Fine!" Tommy took a step back, waiting until Jason blinked, "There! Ninja streak!"

"You did not!" Jason roared, "You stood there!"

"Weeeeeell, you blinked and missed it."

"Lies!" Jason growled, "Ninja streak now, Rainbow!" He bolted forward.

"Rainbow?" Tommy muttered, then he was scampering across the floor, dodging his former teammate and leader.

"Ninja Streak!" Jason screamed, arms outreached for the kill.

"GAhh! Ninja's don't do well under pressure!" Tommy yelled back in reply as they ran around one of the tables.

"What do call saving the world? That's NOT PRESSURE?"

"No." Tommy said calmly from the other side of the table they were running around, "I call it my day job."

"You're retired!"

"So are you!" Tommy shot back.

"You have a PhD! You're doing research with whatshisfaceamachallit."

Tommy froze, cocking his head, "Who?"

"The guy that looks like a dinosaur!" Jason replied, finally sitting back down at the bar, the chase already forgotten.

"Oh, you mean Mercer." Tommy came around to rejoin Jason at the bar, "He doesn't look like a dinosaur." Jason snorted, putting his hand on Tommy's shoulder.

"When you're not blinded by research, Doctor Oliver, you'll see it." He looked towards the back of the bar, "Where's our bartender?"

...

Some time and several drinks later…

"We weeere ninjah's first!" Tommy sobbed into his empty drink, "How c-could they t-take that from us?"

"I don't know Tomster." Jason rubbed his back consolingly, "They weren't all ninjas tho, there was a samaruitzi too."

"I was ninja firrrrst!" Tommy moaned, "With Billy, and and Kimberly… Kimberly!" He smacked his head down on the table, "Then Kat! Whatz wrong with me?"

"I dunno." Jason shrugged, groping for the nuts on the bar, "I'd date you."

"They dated me," Tommy sneered.

"Weeeeeell I wouldn't break your heart." Jason replied, grinning at him in blissful drunkenness.

"You did break my heart!" Tommy leapt up, tears (if they ever existed) dried, "You left me!"

"But I didn't break up with you." Jason pointed out, cramming nuts into his mouth.

"I wasn't dating you." Tommy pouted, putting his head back on his arms.

"Phook!" Jason grinned at him, mouth full of nuts, "Fli'm Goldahr!"

"No," Tommy laughed, holding their two empty mugs on Jason's head, "You're Rita!" They burst into peals of laughter.

Then there was silence.

"I…" Tommy sat up triumphantly, "have an idea!"

"Wshatchz thadt?" Jason asked, still swallowing nuts.

"My cell phone!" He lifted the device from his pocket in triumph, "We shaaaaaaaaall settle this!" He frowned, squinting at the device, "I can no see the numbeeeers." He whined tapping the phone with his thumbs.

"Who," Jason wagged a finger, "are you calling?"

"Ninjas." Tommy revealed, lifting the phone to his ear. He cleared his throat, straightening in his seat to give the appearance of being 100% sober (like they could see him over the phone). Jason rolled his eyes, watching his friend with interest.

"Rocky!" Tommy grinned, yelling into the phone, "Where are you? Are you with Adam?" a voice spoke on the other end, which Tommy ignored "I need you both here right away!" He stood, gesturing with his free hand, "The bar!" he bellowed, "Jason may or may not be with me." A pause, "We are in no way drunk!" another pause, "Because we are going to have the BATTLE OF THE CENTURY! This is for all the marbles!" Tommy frowned, trying to stay steady on his feet, "Itsh not a Forever Red mission doodoo brain! This is the BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!" he looked at his watch, "If you don't come, I'll die."

"noooooo! Tommy! Agughhhhg!" Jason cried out, supporting his friend with dramatic moans. Tommy gave him a wobbly thumbs up.

"Excellent." His voice took on a distinct British accent, "Wonderful. Be sure to bring dear Adam! Ta ta!" He snapped the phone shut, grinning evilly.

"Now what?" Jason asked him, cocking his head to one side, "I still don get it."

"Now I make another call," Tommy squinted at his phone again, "And you have to pretend to be a monster, so we can get them here."

"Ahhhhhhhh." Jason nodded sagely, his mind quickly connecting the dots (because great minds think alike!), "BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!"

"Exactly." Tommy said, again resuming his "I'm sober" stance, "Cam!" he barked into the phone, "It's The Tommy Oliver." Jason grimaced.

"The?"

"Shhhhh." Tommy hissed at his friend, "Not you Cam. Look, there's a monster in town, can you send your three fak-er-real ninjas over? Tell them to meet me at Bulk and Skull's bar. It's our headquarters right now to plan strategic strategy." He gestured at Jason, who quickly began making monster noises, "Send the three! No more, no less! Hurry! Tell them to Ninja-streak their biddly-doodas over here!" He hung up, the evil look again gracing his face.

"Are you gonna suit up?"

"Ima gonna suit up!"

...

Shane didn't quite understand how they were supposed to help out Tommy Oliver with a monster attack, or why they were supposed to meet him at a bar. But Shane was a Ninja, and Ninja's did not question their superiors.

Well, not too much anyway.

Cam did seem to think that something was seriously wrong with Tommy and that the monster had sounded extremely close and very human-like… which had been when Sensei muttered about someone called Jason and how it was "that time of year". Sensei was a mystery sometimes. Still, with Ninja streak it wouldn't take them long to get to the bottom of things. He lead the two blue and yellow blurs beside him to the bar, stopping just outside the door. Tori and Dustin came into focus next to him.

"I don't see any monsters anywhere." Tori said, glancing around the town.

"Maybe it's inside." Dustin shrugged. Shane nodded, reaching for the doorknob.

"Let's just be ready." He told them, face serious. He opened the door, the three of them carefully stepping inside.

"Wyyy-awwwww!" A white-clad man posed in some sort of crane/praying mantis stance stood before them. A civilian was behind him, leaning against the bar, a mug of some sort of ale in his hand.

"Tommy! Tommy! Tommy!" He chanted, before chugging the beer.

"Whaaaah!" The white-ninja cried out again, wobbling slightly, "Fear me fake-ninjas!"

"Dr. Oliver?" Tori guessed, glancing at Shane.

"I am the White Ninja Ranger!" Tommy called, making the sound of some sort of bird, "Fear me Fake Ninjas!"

"Dude, we're not fakes!" Dustin scoffed, he turned to his leader "I don't get it, where's the monster?"

"I don't think there is a monster…" Shane grimaced as the White Ninja Ranger began making more "ninja" noises.

"Are they drunk?" Tori offered, wrinkling her nose.

"No!" Jason cried, "We are awaiting the other Ninja's for the BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!"

"Huzzah!" Tommy agreed, pulling down his mask to take a swig of his drink, "Man, this thing gets hot."

"I still don't get it." The former yellow ranger looked around in confusion, "What battle?"

"Foolish mortal!" Tommy pulled up his mask again, resuming his pose, "the BATTLE OF THE CENTURY is the fake ninjas-"

"That's you." Jason pointed.

"Versus the REAL Ranger Ninjas!" Tommy finished.

"That's… them." He gestured at Tommy.

"Who's them?" Dustin exclaimed, turning about to look for other ninjas.

"They aren't here yet." Jason whispered.

"But they will be! Then we will have the BATTLE OF THE CENTURY!"

"This is ridiculous." Tori put her hands on her hips, "We're not going to fight you!"

"We're all former rangers here." Shane spread out his arms, "Why would we fight?"

"Because you're fakes!" Tommy declared, pose wobbling even more.

"Not fake Rangers." Jason clarified serenely, "Just fake Ninjas."

"We Ninja-streaked here for this?" Tori groaned, "It's almost the middle of the night!"

"Wait," Dustin pondered the rangers before him, "Aren't they supposed to be, like, the greatest rangers of all time?"

"Whoooooooa." Jason held up a hand, "Tommy maybe you could reconsider fighting them, the yellow dude seems pretty smart."

"Truth." Tommy declared, finally relinquishing his pose, "Yellow Ninja, you are NOT a fake."

"All right!" Dustin let out a whoop of joy, walking over to high five Jason.

"You two…" Tommy pointed at them, finger waving, "I'm not so suuuuure about yet."

"Good grief." Tori muttered, as Dustin began chatting Jason up.

"If I say you're the greatest rangers of all time, will I be a Ninja?" Shane asked, exasperated.

"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe."

"You're the greatest rangers of all time."

"Red's a Ninja!" Tommy declared, pulling Shane over as Dustin and Jason cheered.

"You've got to be kidding." Tori rolled her eyes, turning around to leave.

"Hello!" A jolly looking man beamed at her from the other side of the doorway, "Are you leaving the party already?" another dark haired man walked in behind him.

"Who are you?" Tori frowned, knowing full well that any non-rangers would be very bad at this point.

"Rocky!" Tommy, still white-robbed, lifted a mug, "You didn't poop out this time!"

"Drunk." Adam said, taking one look at his two friends, "Told you so."

"Why the Ninja suit Tommy?" Rocky asked, unfazed by the inebriated-ness in front of him.

"Weeeeeeeeeell, we were going to have the BATTLE OF THE CENTURY over who the real ninjas were, but Red and Yellow here proved they were real ninjas." Tommy sent a suspicious glare at Tori, "Blue, however, is still a bogie."

"You were going to have us Ninja-up and fight the Ninja Storm Rangers." Adam fought the laughter, "Makes… perfect sense."

"SKULL!" Jason bellowed, throwing his arms around the two Ninja Rangers, "We need DRINKS for EVERYONE!"

"Coming!" Skull scurried around the corner, then froze upon the sight of the crowd, "ohmysdlfhasdjfh…" his eyes bugged out, "not… more of them…." His body gently hit the floor.

"Oh Skull." Jason shook his head, then turned to his two new friends, "Drawback of Greatest Ranger status; civilians faint in your awesome presence."

"That is sooooooo sweet!" Dustin grinned.

"Rocky! Adam!" Tommy cried, "You have to see Jason's Rita!"

"Oh hells yeah!" Rocky pulled out his phone.

"What are you doing?" Tori asked, curiosity getting the better of her. Rocky grinned at her.

"I'm taking pictures! Do you know what they'll be worth?"

"You're going to sell them?" Tori hissed.

"No, I'm going to blackmail them!" Rocky let out a bellow of evil laughter.

"Phook!" Jason grinned at them, mouth full of nuts, holding two mugs on top of his head "Fli'm Rita!"

click

...

A/N: Hope you enjoyed! This one was pretty fun to write, I hope you had fun reading it! Check out the other stories in the After Hours saga! :D

Next up is Wild Force! (again, I'm going backwards in time... because I'm silly!)