Mail Jeevas. Just look at him. Sitting there happily content with his hand-held. I find myself brooding every time I glance his way.

I sit in the study, in this exact leather chair I always occupy. Lounging with my body shifted to the side, feet dangling over the ledge (crossed), thick workbook in one hand, pencil in the other, and of course a nearly melted chocolate bar on standby.

It'd been unattended for the past few hours due to my lack of interest in anything except this Matt.

It's not like today is any different than it was yesterday, or the day before, or the day before that.

It's just that today I'm fed up.

You'd think with all of that aggressive gamer instinct he'd want to achieve the highest rank possible-but no. He has remained a stolid contender at good ol' number three. Happy number three. Below me, and below Near.

Meanwhile I'm here with my studies everyday. Every goddamn day. And here he is alongside me, game in hand and cares of academics not present.

We've seldom spoken but that's just how I got along with the kid. He kept his distance relative and he never bothered me or my studious position in this house.

And yet he bothered me most of all…

I stared.

His slender, hollowed face looking focused and even more shallow in the faint glow of the screen he held between his palms.

It was difficult to read his features while his total interest was buried in the buttons and the virtual battle between worlds unattainable. His thumbs and index fingers twitched methodically about the contraption.

The slightest pink of tongue wormed its way passed his lips in concentration. Teeth clamped down on the escaping muscle and his lips curled in anticipation of something.

His eyes widened behind those odd goggles which were always snapped about his shaggy head regardless of the occasion or comfort.

His eyebrows rose up, pulling the goggles with the rise of skin, into the ratty red mess of hair upon his head. And then he cracked a smile and all the excitement lulled back into a dutiful study of his own kind. His brow relaxed and the concentration sifted through his mind from intense processing to the habitual subconscious.

He must've succeeded.

Well that's just fan-fucking-tastic.

The dead silence, save for Matt's incessant gaming, must have been so permeable that my thought traveled to the boy.

Swift as lightning the quest was paused and his eyes were on me.

"What is, Mello?" He asked so innocently. I sunk further into my seat and rubbed the tired corner of my right eye as I tried to pretend I didn't say anything.

"Just shut up." I growled and finally plucked my wilted chocolate bar from the seat's armrest and took to simplifying its edges with my tongue about the almost-liquid corners.

I gnashed into a more solidified section. I got more satisfaction out of tearing a chunk or two out of a bar than fighting with this idiot about the matter.

The precise feasting always came off as a carnivorous snapping of an animal's neck between my canines but it was merely candy after all. Still, most keep their distance after the subtle demonstration.

That is except for dear Matt here.

"You're such a moody mess. Chocolate can't help you or any other ignorant woman 'cuz they'll never be beautiful. Get a tampon like the rest of them and calm down." He sneered and returned to his game with the press of a button.

"Excuse me?" My tone and articulation was slow and scarily demanding. My fury was building like a rapid fire and I was now clawing at the seams of my chair.

How dare he!

"Don't get your panties in a bunch. You're always so pissed over Near when you really shouldn't be." He shrugged.

"I'm not damn it! God… it's you! You piss me off!" I snapped and threw my hands free of useless items that got in the way of my fists.

I stood up. My stance was firm and challenging.

"Why?" Matt shrugged, eyes still absorbed in the character he controlled rather than my flustered state. "I'm no threat to you academically."

"You just sit here everyday in silence and stay until I leave but you never study. You've never touched a book in your life probably. I work my ass off trying to stay at measly number two while you sit idly content with your bronze medal and GameBoy." I ranted feverishly.

It was silent again for a moment. All that was heard was the synthetic melodies of his Nintendo and the faint clicking of triggers.

"So? I don't try. You try and succeed. You're really smart." Matt confirmed.

"Shut up," I blushed but the embarrassment only made me angrier. "You can't insult me and then pay me a compliment like that!" My hands were starting to hurt they were clenched so tightly.

My thumbs were turning white over my knuckles as I stormed over to him.

"What, are you going to fight me?" Matt chuckled. My teeth grinded.

That Matt makes me so mad…

He never takes his eyes off that game. He never looks to me. He never pays attention to anything!

"Yeah, get up." I snatched the game from him and hurled it across the room. Matt looked a little tense for a moment until the game landed on the carpet and not the tile just a few more feet from where it rested.

"I'm not going to fight you. It'd be pointless." He gave an apathetic shrug and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket.

"It'd make me feel a hell of a lot better." I snagged the lanky boy by the scruff of his collar and hoisted him up to be face to face with me. His cigarettes fell from his grip and hit the floor beside the couch. My nose almost touched his.

"Well if it'll make you feel better." He rolled his eyes and just laid limp in my arms while I threatened. It took me by surprise and I hesitated.

"You're not worth it." I shoved him back onto the couch and furiously stepped back to my place upon the chair, of course I didn't miss the opportunity to stamp out his nicotine addiction on my way.

I thought for sure that'd get some sort of rise out of him. I'd relieved him of both of his addictions, yet he sits just as calm as a Hindu cow. I swung my feet back over the edge of the chair's arm and pouted my studies away.

"Maybe you're right," Matt said, "About being stupid I mean." He smiled.

I narrowed my eyes at the pages of my workbook but didn't bother with Matt.

"You don't seem to be able to grasp simple concepts in societal behaviors," he shrugged lightly while walking towards me with a lazed stride that seemed to take forever to cross ankle to ankle, "How can you ever function in this world?"

"I've done well in psychoanalysis and sociology and everything linked to human behaviors and interactions with others," I protested, still tearing the pages apart with my glare. He wagged a finger at my rightfully stated argument and stood aside my chair with a sturdy palm pressed to the arm and he leaned his weight to its support.

His legs crossed about his heel and he pressed an index finger across his lower lip in thought.

"Despite that I've witnessed with my own eyes your neglect to the romantic ideals clearly observed everyday," Matt still furthered the debate. I straightened my body to sit properly in the chair and I stared out towards the seat he previously presided in.

My feet touched the floor and I wondered.

What is he speaking of romance for? One instance of such prolific quantity that I've encountered it daily…

"I've studied romance and the parts of the brain that react to those individuals afflicted and the effects of such contact. I know that material," I said with a snobbish outwards push of my lips.

He pursued my purposefully angled vision and startled me with an agile slip about the back of the chair. His hip guided his rear to plant itself on the armrest and he leaned over the bended back of the seat with his arms keeping support and resisting a fall onto me.

I leaned away from his sudden closeness and he waved his arms about illustrating his words as he spoke.

"So you know the ailments of one affected by love? You know the increased heart rate?" His thin fingers, still warm from their vigorous flitting about from button to button, pressed quickly but tenderly to the affiliated side of my chest.

I snatched his hand away with determined speed but the sudden rapid flutter of that infernal organ had already graced his fingertips.

"You know the fight or flight reaction to their presence?"

"I don't want to flee from you but I certainly wouldn't mind beating you to a pulp." I glared, shoving his hand back to him by the wrist.

"I never said you had those feelings for me." Matt smirked. I hesitated but only for a moment. No one would ever make such remarks at me, unless they knew they wouldn't be hurt. Maybe I've accidentally proven I won't hurt Matt.

I can't hurt Matt. Matt can make these judgments freely because… they're true?

"You implied it. Stop trying to mess with my head," I glared piercingly. Matt wasn't to be stopped so easily.

"Maybe you need a word bank? A guide? A hint?" He offered. What is this immature teenage game this boy is playing? Trying to get me to admit feelings for him when I merely tolerate his existence in my life.

I ignored his banter and folded my arms across my chest, sneering straight at that empty seat adjacent me again. He smiled, I could see it. I could just feel it. He slid beside me, practically on top of me in the chair. My chocolate was sprung loose from my hand and I scrambled after it but Matt was leaning intently.

"Matt will you-" I started to shove him but he just laughed and caught my prying hands in his own. I reversed the action and attempted to jerk my hands free. "Leggo!" I tirelessly struggled against his bear-trap-grip fingers that clasped through mine with such force I felt the bruises begin in the space between and just below my knuckles.

At last I froze, nearly panting from the effort. He seized the opportunity during my brief second of exhaustion to completely shove me against the back of the chair, pinning by my hands on either side of my head.

He turned gracefully in the chair and twisted his torso just so, so that his goggled eyes smirked into my bare, shocked ones. My breath was stunted against his lips which curled into a smile.

My chest heaved at a larger and larger capacity. I couldn't seem to get enough air as Matt just watched me much too closely for what seemed like several minutes but in reality was all of a second.

Those eyes were getting bigger, closer, until they were close enough to allow his mouth to take it from that proximity. My eyes never closed. Even as his shut so peacefully and perfectly, mine were desperately wide.

His mouth found mine. Those moist, smooth, plump lips pressed full and committed against me. At first they moved very little, parting only slightly over my still unmoving protestor of a mouth. My lips were welded shut and forcibly unresponsive.

My eyelids felt heavy the longer I stared at the amber-tinted plastic blurred by distance. When they finally fell limply closed, my mouth opened in time with Matt's.

We shared a delicate caress of lips and a heat passed between the open orifice. He slanted over me, his hands weren't much for grip anymore. There wasn't a need.

I calmed into the sensation and Matt moved back slightly only to kiss me again and even more slowly. His hand removed itself from mine and sunk into my hair. He grasped my neck from there and pulled me further into him.

We couldn't get any closer if we tried.

He broke the gentle passion with a languid closing of our lips together and slowly leaned back from me. His hand still rested in the golden nest of my hair and I permitted it. He smiled at me.

"Your lips had a faint taste, like chocolate," he mused, "Shouldn't be surprised of course, you go through so many bars a day." I was unable to find a suitable response. How could I reply? 'Thank you' was certainly out of the question.

"I didn't want to take things too far… not yet." I felt a rush of chilled air as all of the warmth was sucked out of the chair like a vacuum when Matt stood apart. I refused to make an attempt to call him back to me. So instead I merely watched as he returned to his side of the room and then beyond it near the door.

"Coming from you this silence is sort of comforting." Matt chuckled as he bent and took up his beloved game. I could have shot down his conclusion with a swift and malicious comment against the whole event. But I didn't.

"Don't over-analyze this too much, okay?" He flipped the system's screen open and walked out of the room without another word. I sat anxiously in my seat and squirmed a bit in unease. Matt had left and his last words were eating away at my pensive nature.

He had to have known I couldn't just leave this event alone. I have to investigate further. Not just Matt, but myself. What he did… Those things he said…

I do like Matt.

I'm unsure of love or anything further than lust even. But I do know the hormones raging in my little teenage body, a million must have combusted for every second he was pressed up against me.

I'm not sure why I've been completely oblivious to this happening. Perhaps I've rejected and ignored my feelings for him entirely because I couldn't comprehend them. He is one puzzle I can't solve and it's tearing me apart.

So what am I to reply eventually?

"I'm not in love with you but I don't mind the kissing." I rehearsed aloud and found the phrasing to my disliking. It seemed so impersonal and selfish. I did care for Matt after all. To what extent is the problem.

"My feelings are unexplainable at the moment. But I wouldn't object to… Damn! What am I trying to say?!" I became frustrated and leaped from my chair. My chocolate bar was crushed beneath my boots and I gasped.

I knelt and held the crumpled bar delicately in my palms. No cause for a eulogy and all but what a waste…

Sadly, I discarded the chocolate into a waste basket aside the table. I sighed and looked up tentatively at the door. Matt had wandered off somewhere in the house probably feeling rather good about himself.

A sudden thought struck me and I sprinted out of the room with it burning into my mind.

What if he tells someone?

I ran down the hallway and as I turned I spotted him heading into his room. He was engrossed in that game again and blind to my panicked hustle after him. I stopped myself from interfering with his actions and decided he wouldn't perceive my chasing as anything but a desperate lunge after him when it really wasn't.

I just want to confirm he won't spread rumors.

He glanced my way for a moment in my statue-stiff immobilization, and then continued on inside. I heaved a breath of relief but then he shot back out of the doorway with wide eyes.

"You followed me?" His eyebrows raise as he questions. I felt a weakness in my knees as he approached. His gentle gaze smiled at me and tossed my stomach in a beautiful sort of way that also made me sort of sick.

"I-I thought you might tell someone what happened… and I don't want you to." I demanded. He laughed at this. I frowned.

"I wasn't planning on it. This is our business. No one else's." Matt promised, then he smirked and touched my face sweetly with a gloved finger, "I'll be quiet, I swear, no matter how much I want to scream my love for you to the heavens."

I almost melted into that touch and I almost gave in to those words but I held strong. I swatted his hand back and told him to knock it off.

"Why would you tell me all this now? Why did you wait so long?" I asked. A few boys, chatting loudly, began to move down the hallway. I must've looked ready to run because Matt seized my wrist before guiding me into his room.

I was flung inside and he shut the door behind us.

"You're not a very easy person to get close to." He answered. I glanced around the room and found it rather plain compared to most of the orphans' rooms I've seen. The minimal amount of furniture and space.

The messiest corner was a nightstand over-loaded with a pile of games for most any kind of console that I could imagine. Some I didn't even believe he had. …Is that one for Dreamcast!

"When I finally learned you would never loosen up I figured I'd nothing to lose and went after you." He continued, striding over and sitting on the bed. Matt's bed was smaller than Matt.

That's an exaggeration but still this thing was miniscule.

"I don't understand." I shook my head and made no move to join him even as he left a decent amount of space for me beside him.

He gave an irritated sigh and thrust himself back onto the mattress.

"You're dealing with something more complicated than your precious logic. You can't pick us apart and call it something. We're different than a workbook and you don't like it." Matt explained in a harshly sung way.

I felt violated. As if he knew everything about me, even things I didn't know. I wanted to know how to react and how to respond. Maybe he could just figure out my predicament and fill in the blanks for my part of the conversation. He seems to have done very well with every other aspect of my personality, why not commuting?

He looked over after my quiet acceptance.

"Do you hate it?" He smiled.

"Hate what?" I asked.

"How you feel. Do you hate it?"

"I don't know how I feel." I admitted. Matt locked his hands behind his head and stared up at the ceiling.

"You're rejecting your feelings for me because you don't understand them. You resent your emotions." He told me just how I felt. I became angry.

"You're insane," I glared and grinded my nails into the palms of my hands as they made fists. "I feel nothing but concern as of now. You're delusional and clearly somewhat dim. I always thought you to be a bright individual but now I see you're presumptuous and irrational." I rambled on defensively.

There was no truth in my fragmented standing. I as pulling factual phrases out of my ass and speaking on auto-pilot while my honest and productive mind's cogs were twisting away on all of the earnest realities Matt had made me aware of.

"If that were true, I'd apologize and never speak of such things again," Matt said, "However your little charade isn't proving anything aside from my point." He smirked.

"You're so sure of yourself," I rolled my eyes. He turned and stifled his laughter against his pillow. The more he figured me out the more pissed I was. "Just stop it! I'm not in love with you." I shouted.

Matt pushed himself up against the back headboard of the bed. He brought his legs up to the rest of his body to sit Indian-style. I felt awkward and shifted back a little on my heels.

"If you're truly going be this difficult then I guess I can't do anything to persuade you otherwise." Matt shrugged. That's it? He's giving up? That didn't take much. "You can go now if you like." He reached over to the nightstand and sifted through the cartridges while he dismissed me.

"Fine." I muttered and spun back to the door. I touched it's handle. I gripped it fully. This was happening so slowly. I wondered if it came across that way only in my mind or if I was actually hesitating.

Matt's game beeped and pinged to life and I was sure he'd already lost interest in my presence.

My hand fell from the doorknob and I slammed my head against the wood in a frustrated punishment to myself. I'm not going to able to walk away.

"M…m-m… Matt?" I practically whispered it against the door's surface. Still the game paused and I felt his eyes on me.

I tried to turn around but I couldn't. Facing him and attempting to say something just isn't going to happen. I'd much rather speak into the door.

"You don't have to… stop being around me… do you?" I asked. Matt gave a snort.

"You'd still want me around?"

"Well… you're like the closest thing to a friend I have," I confessed, "And… well… I…" Despite my better judgment I turned around. Matt gave a meek smile.

"And well you?"

He has no problem tormenting me…

"I didn't mind the kiss," I said and then rushed for the door. I had it half way open but Matt's hand flew over my head and slammed it shut again. I hung my head in defeat but then whirled about with aggressive flurry. "Let me out!" I shouted.

His hand sunk lower till his level arm was aside my head and he brought up his other parallel to it. I was locked in a little box between Matt and the door.

"Damn it, Matt! I didn't say I loved you I said-"

"I heard you," He interrupted, "You tried to run immediately afterwards. You probably knew what was coming if you said that."

"So are you going to kiss me or just talk about it?" I can't believe I'm pushing for this but being so close to him again made me want to. I managed to make it seem like I was still irate but my longing was getting the better of me.

Matt wasn't about to turn down such an invitation. My slender, angled chin was taken between his index and thumb, the latter of which smoothed the skin along my jaw and he smiled. My face burned scarlet. My eyes glossed over.

"I-I didn't mean…"

He kissed me. I felt a rush of belated euphoria. Dear Matt's wondrous mouth pressed just as gently as it had the first time. His hands moved from their stalwart position to a more comforting lock about my waist. Our lips parted again and my hands twitched. I wanted to contribute.

Matt's tongue slid into my mouth. I felt it on my lower lip and then against my own tongue.

My hands finally mobilized and I gingerly moved them upwards until I felt Matt's chest. He moved closer, embracing my lower back further and pressing hard against my mouth. My arms slipped up about the neck of my taller partner and hooked about him there.

His tongue moved more, swirling over and under my own. A low moan rumbled in my throat and smothered itself somewhere between our mouths.

Matt swerved his head and tilted it slightly to gain more access. His tongue was a searing flame dancing smoothly about mine in the most perfect way.

Suddenly he pulled on my lower back and stepped accordingly while continuing his passionate kisses. I stumbled forwards after him.

He took another step. Then another. We were moving towards the bed.

I broke the kiss and shook my head.

"Don't you dare!" I shouted. Matt was shocked as I shoved him away.

"Mello… what is it?" He reached out for me but I shook my head and maneuvered away from his hands.

"Don't take advantage of my confusion!" I growled. Matt's wide, doe eyes were frightened.

"I-I wasn't. I'm sorry. I was just kissing you. You said you were fine with that." This Matt was totally different. He was fragile and worried… Worried about losing me?

"You started moving to the bed." I pointed out the fowl thing as if it were its own den of sinful sodomy.

"I thought we should sit down," Matt said innocently, "If you'd prefer to stand then I'm fine with that." He managed to take up my hands in his without my noticing. I felt awkward and embarrassed at how much of a scene I'd just made.

"Oh… Mmm…maybe I should go." I mused while staring at the floor.

"No!" Matt gripped my hands deathly taut. "Please, just… stay a little while?" He pulled me towards the bed again. "We don't even have to kiss," he offered as if anything but that activity could be more pleasing to me, "I have a workbook if you'd like to study. I'll stay out of the way."

It was pathetic how determined he was. Pathetic and childish to want something so much. But that something was me... So maybe it's not that stupid.

Unfortunately he brought up the subject of studying. If I told him I'd prefer to make out, well… then that boy would never let me live it down.

"Fine… if you really don't want me to go…" I said as he led me to a seat on his bed. He headed to the dresser on the far side of the room in search of a workbook. I kicked off my boots and pulled myself up onto his bed. I glanced over to see him rummaging through the top drawer.

No luck.

He knelt to check the bottom drawer. He must've really never used a single one. His thin striped shirt hiked up his back a little and his tight black slacks pulled down. The thinnest area of sweet-as-honey tanned skin, dimples, and underwear was the resultant.

The "honey" adjective improved my taste buds. It evolved them to a new point of craving. I wanted a quick kiss. A brief press of my mouth just to that area. His whole back. Or front. Anywhere on that glorious body. I wanted to run my fingers over those two small dents and everywhere around, between, and beyond. The thought of it was making me sweat.

Dear Matt, he's making me a wreck! What is wrong with me?

"Found it." He stood. I saddened as his shirt straightened over his torso to cover him whole again. He turned though, and I was able to admire his face. He handed me the book and a pen.

I blushed as I thanked him and quickly obscured my face behind studies as he rounded the bed and grabbed his GameBoy from the sheets before plopping down beside me. As I mentioned earlier, this bed was beyond small. Our shoulders bumped and my left leg kept sliding off the edge while I attempted to study.

On the fifth plummet my leg made, Matt grabbed my thigh and hauled my legs over his own in an absent manner. I sat at an awkward angle but it had worked.

I ignored the gesture and continued studying. His elbows rested on my thigh and shin.

I glanced over subtly. He was taken by his game again. It was the same situation as before but with less space between us. So naturally he caught me when I stared.

"You're never going to get anything studying in if you keep staring at me." Matt smirked to the side- eyes never straying from the screen.

I blushed again and shoved my nose back into the pages of the heavy workbook.

"I wasn't."

"Studying or staring?" He chuckled.

"Stop." I grumbled.

"Just an observation," He shrugged, "I don't mind you watching; I was just saying it for the benefit of your grades."

"Then I guess I can't study here." I said and tossed the book and pen to the floor to fold my arms smugly. Matt looked over to me.

"I guess you can't." He shut off his game, set it aside, and leaned over to kiss me. I didn't protest, though I wondered how that came across. I shouldn't be giving him any ideas with how lenient I've suddenly become.

However I didn't stop the first kiss, nor the second. We kissed a few more times. It was nice and I wasn't in objection to the hand now on my thigh. It was a comforting touch.

But then he pulled me closer and he moved a leg, with a gentle sliding motion, over me.

"Matt!" I shoved him back by the shoulders but he still loomed over me.

"What?" He asked naively.

"This is going further than… than…" I wanted to say 'I'm comfortable with' but I couldn't think of the phrase just then as I mumbled quietly in the smiling face of that boy.

"We're just kissing," Matt leaned down towards me again. I fended him off.

"You're on top of me!" I found some meaningful words.

"The bed is small. You don't want me to hurt my back do you? C'mon… just…" He dove again but I moved my face to the side, only permitting my cheek.

"I'm not an idiot, Matt!" I hissed.

"We already had this conversation." He completely discarded my words and caught my mouth successfully this time. His lips crashed onto mine and my arms were crippled. They fell weakly about his thighs. Those amazingly muscular limbs flexed about my waist and shifted as he swayed into the kisses.

The gentle, harmonious friction between us was building a full, heated pulse within my body. The pulse throbbed almost until it hurt. It concentrated beyond my pelvis and I moaned as Matt's hand touched my stomach to ease some of that tension.

"You're so warm." Matt cooed, prodding the flesh with his fingers and kissing me with a more feverish intent. My lips were ravished until plump and flaming red. I wasn't in any position to be timid yet I was meek in my advances. Somehow I was caught in the feelings of wanting to shove him off and run away or to continue this.

Whatever this is.

I'm not sure.

Matt was taking care of everything. His kisses were smooth, connected, and yet so full of fire. His touch was tender and caring. I was losing myself as his hand moved further up from my stomach and pulled at my shirt as it rose.

I pulled my head back into the nest of the pillow and panted. My chest rose and fell against his palm. Matt shook his head at me and gave a short laugh.

"Breathe through your nose," he instructed and gently pressed the tip of his nose to mine in a brief nuzzle. "You'll pass out at his rate."

I blushed and tried not to look at him out of embarrassment. Clearly I was not the one with the most experience here. That thought raged about for moment with uncertainty, wonder, and mostly jealousy.

How many other times has Matt done this? He is a handsome boy and apparently very determined in his hormonal goals. Maybe I'm just a notch in his bed post…

"Don't be upset about it. I'm only telling you so we can have more time for this," he paused to kiss me again, "and less for remembering how to breathe."

Matt smiled at my dazed face. He leaned back a bit, sitting upright over my hips.

"Sit up," he commanded it softly but I felt inclined to do as he asked. My body moved up and shifted so I may not fall back again. His fingers traced the hem of my shirt and gripped. I seized his wrists and decided I should bring up my anxieties before we went any further.

"Matt… How many times have you done this?" I asked. He relaxed his hold and so did I.

"Are you worried you're just another boy?" Matt countered my question easily. I nodded.

"You think I'm using you. That you're not my one and only, my marvelous and beautiful everything! Dear Mihael Keehl…" His voice was melodic and enthused as if he'd sung this tune many times before in the privacy of his room. I didn't know what to say. I gaped at him stupidly. He reached up with a careful hand and stroked my cheek.

"No, Mello, you're not my first; but you're the first I've cared about this way." He said, "I've never spent so much time thinking about a single person. I couldn't even stay away from you when I knew I'd be nothing but a bother. But if that information changes how you see me… I understand." His hand dropped and he looked away. I shook my head and quickly blurted my humiliating pensive desires while seizing the loose fabric of his shirt.

"No! I think… you're wonderful." I mumbled, realizing how idiotic I appeared just then. I was being as weak as Matt. Just as stupid and desperate as he was… I was saying things that I shouldn't, my body was hungering for things it shouldn't, and my mind was racing with things that should never cross it.

"I've always liked you…" I said so quietly I wondered if I'd only imagined my lips moving. My fists lost their grip and I hung my head as my heart pumped blood so quickly beneath the skin of my cheeks I felt I would explode.

Now what…

End of Part I/II