Away From Home
She waited until it had been twenty minutes since she felt anyone move to let herself cry.
It had been an entire day since Appa had first taken off, almost to the minute, and yet they hadn't set up camp. It had been Aang's idea - the patriarch of the Beifong family had been quick to change his tune about the Avatar, and now his daughter was out in the world for the first time. Who knew when he'd change his mind again; when he'd send a search party for Toph. And Aang needed a teacher, desperately, even if that teacher was about a hundred years younger and half a foot shorter than him.
And so, they travelled from night to day back into night with no stops longer than twenty minutes for pee breaks and for Appa to get a quick nap in, just to stay safe. Toph hated it.
She couldn't see up here. There was no ground anywhere, and thus none of earth's vibrations, and thus Toph's feet were as good as useless. The wind flipped her hair around her face and into her mouth, her head was swimming with motion and Appa wasn't exactly the smoothest ride. Toph hated it. The entire day she had stayed almost silent other than a few quips and snarky remarks, because she was afraid if she opened her mouth too long she might puke right there on the saddle. No one seemed to notice, though, and for that Toph was grateful. She was able to remain stoic during the day, but now she could feel the coolness and moisture in the air turning it to night and she wasn't so sure anymore.
It had been thirty minutes since Aang had said, "We'll stop tomorrow afternoon for a long time. One more day should give us enough ground to stay hidden," thirty minutes since everyone had bid goodnight. It had been twenty since Toph heard Katara throw something at Sokka for snoring, and ten since the soft breathing of all three of her counterparts had begun to fill her senses.
Well, it would have been good if they filled her senses, but they really just seemed to amplify the turbulence.
What was she doing? She had never been away from home before, not even for a sleepover. Sure, she had spent days away - dates with the badgermoles at the age of four and whatnot, but never overnight. The town she lived in didn't even know she had been born alive, so how could she go out into it? She missed her mom. As much as she hated to say it, it was nice being read to at night, even if really she was much too old and strong and mature for it. Her mother always insisted on a book before bed, because Toph couldn't read herself (duh), and the earthbender couldn't exactly say she hated it. As much as she loved recklessness and fighting and breaking the rules, she'd be lying if she said she didn't miss routine just a little bit
But she wouldn't tell anyone, no, of course she wouldn't do that. She'd tough it out like always, teach Aang, and become a legend without her parents inhibiting her. Even if she never, ever got another bedtime story.
That's what she kept telling herself, but it was getting a little harder to hear it over the dizziness and nausea creeping into her head. She missed dirt, and solid, concrete things. She missed the earth, and she missed her bed, and she missed her gardens and her mom and if this bison didn't stop soon she really just might throw up.
Tiny hands gripped the equally tiny abdomen and a little puff of air escaped Toph's lips before they began to quiver. Ew, emotions. She wouldn't give in to this - she was strong, no matter how small she was. No matter how "defenseless." If she could beat The Boulder every weekday and go home without a scratch on her, she could keep cheeks dry on some oversized sugar glider at one am. She could.
Except she couldn't, because the next thing Toph knew, there were salty droplets flowing down her cheeks and no matter how fast she wiped them away, they kept coming back. Her face burned, not just from distress but also from shame. How could she be crying? What kind of earthbending master was she?
A sob escaped her lips and she bit down on her lip hard to keep it from happening again, hoping no one had heard before she scrubbed at her cheeks with her fists. Her tummy rolled as Appa rose and fell, likely from a gust of air going under him, and she dug her now-wet fists into her belly. It hurt, but she had hurt before. Her head ached and spun, but it had done that before. She'd make it. More air puffed under Appa and Toph nearly gagged. The stomach acid was definitely there, but she pushed through it. No way in he** would she puke in front of the only three people in the world that didn't think of her as a fragile little baby.
Deep breaths. Big, deep breaths. She kept repeating that in her head as she tried to push the tears back in by sheer willpower, but quickly switched to another mantra. Don't cry. Don't throw up. Don't cry. Don't throw up. Don't cry. Don't-
Something shifted, and not in a sleepy, incoherent way. Toph startled and her breathing quickened, but she tried to stay calm. It could've just been the wind.
The awkward cough that followed, however, was definitely not the wind.
"What do you want?" She spat, her voice croaking at whoever the intruder was. She closed her mouth quickly and grabbed her belly, cringing at the flips it was doing.
"I- uh-," Came Sokka's voice, groggy and concerned. "I needed to.. uh.. get.. get another blanket."
Toph would have laughed if she thought her stomach wouldn't leap out of her mouth if she did so.
"Admit it, you came to check on the baby," She sing-songed instead, crossing her arms and turning her head from the sound of the older boy.
"No!" He said a little too loudly, and Toph could practically hear him turning his head to make sure no one heard. "No, I just.. I heard you. I thought maybe you were hungry or thirsty, or something."
He moved forward, and the smaller could feel him take a seat much too close. She tried to scoot away, but ran into the side of the saddle. Instead, she gripped the saddle tighter and took a breath before scoffing.
"Okay, I guess that's checking up on you, but…" Sokka sighed audibly. "You sounded.. hurt, I guess."
"Trust me, I'm fine." She huffed, turning her head away from the other. Don't cry. Don't throw up. Don't cry.
A hand found its way to her shoulder, and Toph tensed under it. It gave a tentative pat.
"'sokay. I'm kinda homesick, too. At home we always had food. Now it's like… all there is is vegetables. I mean, nothing personal against spinach, but…yuck."
Toph meant to laugh, but her body surprised her with a hiccuping sob. The hand on her back lifted suddenly before lowering slowly. It patted again, this time more sure.
"Missing home doesn't make you weak. Have you seen me? I'm like. The strongest guy I know, and I miss my bed every two minutes."
Toph snorted through her tears, and she heard Sokka laugh a little, too. She wiped her eyes again, but her smile faded quickly and she let her head hang.
"I hate flying." She grumbled, plopping her elbow on her lap and her chin in her hand.
"Really? I think it's nice. Now, I mean. At first, it was a little unnerving."
"Made it hard to breathe?" Toph asked matter-of-factly, her voice gruff. Sokka nodded.
"Yep."
"And your head spin?"
"You know it."
"And your belly hurt?"
The hand on her shoulder paused.
"Are you getting airsick?"
Toph shrugged.
"I can't see, and the world is moving at a million miles a minute around me. What do you think, strong man?"
Sokka's hand was gone in a second and Toph could feel him scooting away.
"Oh, gosh, don't puke," He squeaked from his new place five feet away. Toph rolled her eyes and curled up a little tighter on herself.
Great. Now not only was she a baby, but she was a ticking time bomb, too. Her stomach churned as Appa continued to fly. His movements were getting more rapid and unsure, and Toph was sure he was probably getting tired. Great. The bison shook his head, which in turn shook his whole body, and Toph could barely stifle a gag.
She lay down and curled up tight in her little corner, both hands on her stomach and her head as steady as possible on the saddle, and the tears started to come again. She didn't even care at this point. Sokka was a loser. Who cared if he saw her cry?
She heard rustling, and soft voices from the other side of the saddle and was personally very glad for all of the luggage and camp materials acting as a barrier between her and Appa's front. It sounded as if Aang was up, and whispering to someone - probably Sokka, if she thought about it. But then Katara's voice rose, sleepy and soft sounding, and Toph's lips subconsciously went into a pout. Appa jerked again, and the voices yelped a little.
Toph lay there, tears wetting her cheeks and sobs rising in her chest, trying to stay as quiet a possible as her head and stomach reeled. She was sad, and lonely, and sick, and all she wanted to do was sleep. But then that same hand was on her shoulder again, and she tensed immediately at its touch.
"I'm sorry." Sokka's voice said, and Toph could tell he actually meant it. "Do you need a bag?"
She wanted to say no, but her stomach spoke up in response with a loud groan. Sokka left her side and she shut her eyes tight.
"If I puke, I'm gonna do it on you." She croaked.
Sokka found his way back to her side within the minute and pushed something scratchy into her hands. She opened her eyes, as if that would help, and felt around the object, her face confused.
"It's a bag." He sighed. "One that I payed good money for. But…its all we got, and I didn't need a new bag anyways."
Toph gripped it subconciously as her stomach lurched, but she swallowed instead.
"Only use it if you have to." Sokka half-sobbed, cringing away just the slightest. Toph swallowed again, harshly, as bile rose in her throat.
"Thanks," She whispered, saliva making her words spitty and unclear. Sokka made a small, anxious noise of acknowledgement before voices rose louder from the front.
"We're gonna land!" Katara's voice came In a shout. Aang's followed.
"Appa's sleepy, we gotta stop for just a little bit."
"I'm sure there's enough distance between us now, anyways," Came Katara's reply.
Toph sighed. They'd be back on land soon. Sweet, sweet land. Appa's nose began the descent, which was much more turbulent than usual. Sokka kept a hand on Toph's back, though it was rather clammy and nervous, and Toph kept both hands on the open purse. If this motion kept up, she was going to vomit.
She breathed, and Sokka's hand remained on her back, beginning to pat in little circles. Soothing, and practiced little circles. She tried hard to keep breathing, and the circles helped even if her head was still spinning. She kept gagging, just a little, at every tiny movement, and each time the circles would press harder into her shoulder.
It was a wonder Aang and Katara hadn't noticed her yet. She wasn't exactly discrete anymore, not with Sokka trying to…
She didn't exactly know what he was trying to do. Comfort her? Maybe he did this with Katara, when she was sick or sad or lonely. He was a well-versed big brother, after all.
"You're gonna be okay, okay?" He said softly.
She guessed she probably would be,even if she was sick and sad and lonely. She guessed Sokka was probably the reason for that.
Appa descended slowly, slowly, until finally landing in a small clearing mid-forest. Almost immediately, the moment was over - Toph leapt off of the bison in a heartbeat, nearly faceplanting on the soft grass but not really caring. Ground. Instantly she could sense her surroundings; she knew there was a tree to her right surrounded by bushes, and more trees around that. She know that the others were still on Appa, and that Appa was snoring already. Just the memory of being up in the air made her stomach lurch and she was at the treeline in seconds, bent in half and heaving. The first gag was unproductive and her insides twisted again before she was actually sick. It was disgusting, vomiting in a forest - even if you can't see it. It was foul in her mouth before she lurched again, this time only bringing up a little bit of stomach acid. She spit twice onto the grass and coughed.
She breathed heavy when she finished, straightening herself and wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. Gross. But her stomach felt better, finally, even if she was still a little shaky. She moved back to the clearing slowly, listening, hoping that no one had noticed.
"Where'd she go?"
Aang's voice. Toph cringed.
Now that her head was on straight again and she was thinking, she couldn't be seen like this. And the fact that Sokka had seen her like this already, - she took a mental check of herself to asses the damage done - with tears streaking her face and mucus dripping down her lips and her legs still shaking, made him a threat. He would tell the others how much of a child she was. How he had to comfort her like an infant just to keep her quiet. How just a little turbulence had turned her into a self-pitying, nauseous wreck. How -
"Is she okay?"
Katara's.
"She looks sick."
Aang.
Toph was ready to defend herself. To prove that she was just as capable as anyone else, that she was ready to take the world back from the fire nation. But she didn't have to.
"She's okay," Came Sokka's voice, and it wasn't dripping with worry like the others' were. It was noncholant, even, not addressing the fact that Toph had been a snivelling mess not even ten minutes prior. "Probably just sick of your sleep-yodeling like everyone else is,
Aang. I personally think she's a courageous soul for speaking her mind, and I applaud her."
Toph heard a silly little slow clap followed by the shove of Katara to her brother.
"Wh- I do not sleep yodel!" Aang's voice gasped, "If anyone does it's you, Mr. Nose-whistle!"
"Nose-whistle?!"
Toph wiped her mouth and cheeks once more for good measure and walked towards the group, her legs confident in each step and her voice even more confident in her retort.
"Honestly, all of you snore like a pack of wild hyenas fresh out of nasal spray."
