Hello everyone. I'll go ahead and introduce myself. I'm Ashley. Recent high school graduate who is taking a year off to collect herself before heading to school. This is my very first Glee fanfiction. I need a hobby, something to invest myself into and cherish. Hopefully, this fulfills that need for me.
Enjoy!
March 1, 1993
Dear Blueberry,
That's how big you are right now. The size of a blueberry. So tiny. So fragile. It's scary to think that everyone started out that way. A small cluster of cells, hidden from the world. It's even scarier to think that I could love something so small, so much. I love you though. I love you so much that it hurts. Somehow, in the small span of the week that I have known of your existence, I have fallen deeply in love with you. Even though it's been such a short amount of time, I can't imagine a life without you. I dream about you. I dream of a small girl with long blond hair and a boy with piercing eyes. I can feel you. You're so close to me, but at the same time you are so far away.
Right now, you're still a secret. I'm still scared. So scared. I haven't even said those words aloud yet, speaking them will just make this more real, it'll make you more real. Please don't take this the wrong way. I am excited, so excited, more excited than I have ever been. You just have keep in mind that this is big, baby. Really big. So much bigger than your father and me. I'm responsible for life. For you. My baby. Our baby.
I'm going to tell your father soon, I promise. You won't be my dirty little secret for much longer. He's going to be so happy. He's wanted this for a long time. He's wanted you for a long time. I'm glad we waited though. I'm not a strong believe in fate, but you are meant to be our baby. Does that make sense? Probably not. My thoughts never translate into words well. The only person that truly understands is your father. That's why I'm writing you these letters. So that one day, you can look at these and just know.
Have a mentioned that I love you? Because I do. You're special. I can feel it. Although fear is the primary emotion right now, I find myself overcome with another emotion. Hope. I think of you constantly, and when I think of you I think of my future. Our future. As a family. Is it crazy that I'm already dreading the day you leave for college? You're not even here yet and I already miss you. I'm going to push these thoughts out of my head. We will cross that bridge when we get there. For now, I will enjoy the quiet moments. The moments when Dad is at the garage and I'm home alone, thinking of you. Talking to you. Writing to you. These are the moments when I can feel you the most.
I love you,
Mama
There it is. Short and simple. The letters will get much more complex as time moves on. Critisize me, please! I really want to better myself.
Thanks much!
-Ashley
