*Title: The Birds and the Bees
*Pairing: Elrond/Glorfindel- not really a pairing though.
*Rating: PG-13
*Background: An answer to a fic challenge by SkyFire: Write a virgin!Elrond fic that takes place after Celebrian went over the sea. Elrond has to be completely clueless as to the fact that his kids *aren't* his. Fic must contain at least one of the following sentences (or something similar): "By the Valar, (woman/man)! *What* do you think you're *doing*?" or "Get your hand off that!" or "(eyes wide) You want to do *what*?!" or "By the Valar (woman/man) put some clothes on!!"
*Disclaimer: Tolkien owns the characters and SkyFire owns the plot bunny.
It was a beautifully clear evening and Earendil's had been execptionally bright. It was getting late and Elrond decided to head back to his room. He was passing by Arwen's room when he heard his youngest moaning and screaming. Thinking his daughter to be having some horrible nightmare, Elrond ran in to comfort is baby but screamed at the sight in front of him.
A few minutes later, Glorfindel responded to his lord's terrified screams. Arwen sat on the bed covered by blankets and Elrond was curled up in a corner, shaking. Close to him was Aragorn, wearing only his tunic... backwards. He was trying to coax the frightened half-elf out of the corner. Glorfindel stared at Aragorn for a moment. The man was half naked and standing very close to *his* Elrond. "By the Valar man! Put some clothes on!" Glorfindel shouted at the human who blushed furiously and ran to the bathroom.
Glorfindel helped Elrond to stand up and then walked him back to his room. Elrond didn't say a word until they reached the room.
"Glorfindel?"
"Yes?"
"What was Aragorn doing to her?" Thinking Elrond was still in shock and just needed to confirm what he had just seem, Glorfindel answered him bluntly. "They were having sex."
"Oh..." answered Elrond. He sat thinking quietly for a moment and then spoke again. "Glorfindel?"
"Yes?"
"What's sex?" Glorfindel smiled to himself seeing the opportunity he waited for, for many centuries. "My lord, I think it's time someone told you about the birds and the bees. And I'll be more than happy to show you."
*Pairing: Elrond/Glorfindel- not really a pairing though.
*Rating: PG-13
*Background: An answer to a fic challenge by SkyFire: Write a virgin!Elrond fic that takes place after Celebrian went over the sea. Elrond has to be completely clueless as to the fact that his kids *aren't* his. Fic must contain at least one of the following sentences (or something similar): "By the Valar, (woman/man)! *What* do you think you're *doing*?" or "Get your hand off that!" or "(eyes wide) You want to do *what*?!" or "By the Valar (woman/man) put some clothes on!!"
*Disclaimer: Tolkien owns the characters and SkyFire owns the plot bunny.
It was a beautifully clear evening and Earendil's had been execptionally bright. It was getting late and Elrond decided to head back to his room. He was passing by Arwen's room when he heard his youngest moaning and screaming. Thinking his daughter to be having some horrible nightmare, Elrond ran in to comfort is baby but screamed at the sight in front of him.
A few minutes later, Glorfindel responded to his lord's terrified screams. Arwen sat on the bed covered by blankets and Elrond was curled up in a corner, shaking. Close to him was Aragorn, wearing only his tunic... backwards. He was trying to coax the frightened half-elf out of the corner. Glorfindel stared at Aragorn for a moment. The man was half naked and standing very close to *his* Elrond. "By the Valar man! Put some clothes on!" Glorfindel shouted at the human who blushed furiously and ran to the bathroom.
Glorfindel helped Elrond to stand up and then walked him back to his room. Elrond didn't say a word until they reached the room.
"Glorfindel?"
"Yes?"
"What was Aragorn doing to her?" Thinking Elrond was still in shock and just needed to confirm what he had just seem, Glorfindel answered him bluntly. "They were having sex."
"Oh..." answered Elrond. He sat thinking quietly for a moment and then spoke again. "Glorfindel?"
"Yes?"
"What's sex?" Glorfindel smiled to himself seeing the opportunity he waited for, for many centuries. "My lord, I think it's time someone told you about the birds and the bees. And I'll be more than happy to show you."
