Twilight Unhinged
Storm Brewing
Seriously, this isn't me trying to infringe on Stephenie Meyer's Twilight. This is me trying to chase my writer's block away. I just decided to share in the process.
There was a storm on the horizon. For the first time, as I looked out over the frozen tundra I realized I'd made a mistake. I lay back staring up at the stars and all I saw staring back at me were two innocent brown eyes swimming with secrets. This storm was going to destroy me.
Isabella Marie Swan, or Bella as she insisted everyone call her, was the catalyst of this storm brewing within me. I fled my home, my family to get away from her; that was not the, aforementioned mistake. My mistake lie in coming here to seek my quietude.
"Oh, Eddie. There you are. Tanya has missed her sweet Eddiekins," she exclaimed as she pounced, trying to straddle me, but missing and landing with a knee to my jewel sack.
"EEEEK!" I shrieked like my brother Emmett when my sister Alice caught him using her favorite hat to pan for gold in the creek behind our house. I did not realize until that day a vampire's nipples were so sensitive or that they could actually turn purple.
That's right, my family and I are vampires. However back to the mistake for which I seek deliverance.
"TANYA! The fuck!"
"Oh, Eddiekins, I'm sorry. Let Tanya kiss it all better." She proceeds to yank at my belt buckle.
"NO!" I push her off of me to which Tanya chuckles hysterically. "What's the matter, baby? Did I give you blue balls? Bahahahahaha."
"Black and blue, you delusional hyena!"
I was going to kill Alice.
