Author's Note: Hope you enjoy, Yaoi and funnies. There will be another chapter. Don't know how long to make it. REVIEWS.

Disclaimer: I don't own kingdom hearts, or final fantasy, jesus , or satan or god.

Genesis: Maybe this won't be so bad.

Angeal: Maybee...


Shin-raw: Read and REVEIW!! do both not just one :

Waiter

Chapter 1: Trouble it aloof

Leon started his way towards yet another table. The lights hurt his eyes because they were so damn bright. He looked around for someone else to take this order. It had been a long night, working at a job that you want to get fired from but your boss won't fire you...

Asshole Leon thought.

He sighed and made his was towards the table. The couple that happened to be sitting there, were just a bitchin about stupid shit.

"Oh the stake isn't cooked right."

"This doesn't taste like ice cream."

Blah Blah...blahh. They thought since it didn't taste the best, they were entitled to free food.

Leon put on the fakest smile and walked towards the table.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

"You can get us some free food." The, what appeared to be 900lbs man said.

"And some better ice cream" His equally large wife put in.

Leon thought about what to do next, he could kindly do as they ask or do what he always does. He went with plan B.

"Listen, I don't think either of you need any more food. I can hear that poor chair screaming bloody mercy, because your fat ass is sitting on it. Now when inatimate objects scream, you gotta a problem. I'm not going to get you anything else unless your willing to pay. Oh and the reaon why it may not taste like ice cream is because you eat that all the time so it might just taste like ass cream...in your case."

The couple sat there dumbfounded.

"Now is there anything else that I can help you with?" Leon finished, smiling ever so sweetly.

The woman sat up," I want to speak to your manager!" She stated.

"Hey now don't break the floor that you walk on, we need that for other customers too."

She got up and walked towards a different worker. Then she struted off towards Cid's door.

"Shit.." Leon mumbled under his breath.

He looked over towards the door and frowned at who walked in.

Aerith and Tifa. Or as he liked to call them. Jesus and Satan...Actually it's more like what they like to call each other.

They were seated and waited for their food. Maybe they wouldn't cause a roucous tonight...he looked towards them and saw them engage in a bitch fight...yeah and maybe he was just as pychotic as his boyfriend.

He walked towards Aerith and Tifa.

"What are you two doing here?" he asked.

"STAY AWAY HOMO!" Aerith pleaded, she made her fingers form an X towards Leon.

"A huh" Leon said. Thinking it may have been smarter to have left her and Cloud in the insane asylum, and for the hell of it Tifa can go with them.

"We decided to get something to eat so why not come here, and see our friend." Tifa said giving Leon the cheesiest smile, she wanted something.

"Your not getting Cloud, Tifa. stop trying."

"Damn it" she said.

"BE QUIET SATAN!" Aerith screamed.

"Oh would you just shut up!" Tifa said.

After that Aerith started to pray.

Tifa sighed.

"Your like freaking Jesus all over again." Tifa said.

"I can not hear your words Satan.They do not effect me." said Aerith.

"Whatever" Tifa said.

Aerith gave her a death glare and while clutching her rosary she whispered," May there be poison in your food."

Tifa stared at her suddenly afraid of what might come.

Seifer walked back with their meals and then walked off.

Aerith started to pray, and Tifa just dug right in.

Leon turned and saw Zack,Cloud and Sephiroth come in.

Cloud was gripping onto Sephiroth's arm, for dear fucking life.

Zack was trying to pry him off. While Sephiroth just stared at Cloud.

"Seph's not your boyfriend he's mine Cloud."

"No." Cloud said " Mine, Me is Zack."

"No you is not." Zack found himself saying. I guess Cloud's lingo was contagious.

"I AM ZACK" Cloud screamed.

"NO YOUR NOT" Zack said loudly.

"Leon is your boyfriend."

Thanks Zack, announce to the whole fucking world I'm gay.

Leon pinched the brigde of his nose.

" Hi guys" he said.

"Oh hey Leon" Zack said, having a hold of Cloud and finally ripping him off of Seph.

"Follow me."

Leon seated them and walked off to give the order the the fattest person he ever knew. The chef.

Leon didn't feel in the mood to make fun of him because of size today. So he didn't , everyone else took his place though.

He hung the order on a hook and left it there, he would eventually come back to check and get the food.

Suddenly Cid came out of his office waving a double barrel shotgun, looking for one person.

"LEON!" He yelled.

Leon turned and saw Cid waving it.

"Oh my GODZ" Leon said.

"DON"T USE MY NAME IN VAIN" Aerith screamed.

A shotgun bullet shot off and Leon ran and hid in the women's bathroom.

"You got balls Leonhart." Cid said. Not taking a step into the women's restroom for his fear of them.

That was close, Leon thought.

He was crouched underneath a sink.

He pulled a candy bar out of his jacket and started to munch on it.

After thirty minutes he thought it appeared to be safe.

He got up, walked out and got Zack's and the rest of them their food.

"I love you Seph." Cloud said.

Sephiroth looked at Cloud,confusingly.

Zack put his hands in his head and sighed deeply.

Leon walked towards Zack and rubbed his back.

"It's okay Zack. "He'll snap out of it eventually...eventually.."

"Cloud your not Zack, your Cloud."

Cloud looked at Leon dumbfoundedly.

"Yes Cloud, it's the truth."

"No."

"Yes"

They went back a forth on this for a good 10 minutes.

Cloud finally stopped and just hung on to Seph's arm.

Leon was forced to leave to go and sit some other customers.

These people were just bitches. A whole group of girls.

They ordered, not only off the menu but parts they wanted off of Leon.

Oh I'll give you something good Leon thought.

He dropped the order off and told the cheft to make it extra spicy and greasy. Just for them.

He waited for the food. When he got it he spit in it.

He smiled as he brought it to them.

"I gave you laides something special." Leon said.

All the girls giggled and ate their food.

Leon walked off laughing.

He looked towards the clock.

15 more minutes and then he'd be done.

Hopefully nothing happened...too late.

Author's note: Left ya at a cliffy. I'm so evil. Muahahaha. Expect YAOI. and more couples.

Thanks for reading.

Genesis: That was weird.

Angeal: Creeppyyy...

Shin-raw: REVEIWS.!