Eric and His Great Pumpkin One-Shot Contest

Title: Sweet Mystery Of Life

Pen name: Messalina77

Characters: Sookie, Eric, and Pam-a-lam-a-ding-dong

Disclaimer: All these awesome characters belong to the equally awesome Charlaine Harris.

Loyalty: To s (dot) meadows for betaing this and making me laugh at my terrible attempt to spell "denchers" bahaha. And for prompting some much needed comic relief! Any mistakes that remain are totally my own.

A/N: This story takes place on Halloween (duh) at Fangtasia (weeee!) at some point after Eric and Sookie's blood bond has been created. It's a pretty loose timetable, but hopefully there aren't any anachronisms.

The title is a nod to Young Frankenstein :D

*************

After I stepped out my car and shut the door, I tugged nervously at my costume. It was so unlike anything I'd ever worn before. My hair was teased into a kind of Brigitte Bardot bouffant, in a half up, half down style. A tight crimson corset with a black lace overlay encased my upper body, making my already ample bosom positively huge and my not so tiny waist, well, tiny. I had chosen (with Amelia and Tara's advice) a pair of black, high cut, 1950s style shorts, which attached to the garters of my seamed black stockings. The pièce de résistance were the five-inch high, black patent, platform "fuck me" heels.

My eyes were smoky and expertly smudged (again, with help from Amelia) with black liner. My lips were painted blood red (hint, hint) but I wasn't wearing much other make-up because, I thought ironically, that's how I would stay classy. My new "teeth" were giving me a slightly odd lisp, although it was kind of cool to have that little switch at the back of my mouth that allowed me to lengthen and shorten my canines at will. (They were called Fangtures, as in fangs plus dentures; a toy company had invented them last year, and they'd been selling like hot cakes ever since.)

Yep, that's right, I was dressed as a vampire for Halloween. A vampy, trampy vampire.

With one final check in my side mirror, I silently cursed Amelia for convincing me to put on this little charade. Every instinct I had ever possessed was telling me that Eric knew where to find me; he should come to me, not the other way around. I still wasn't even entirely certain what I wanted to accomplish with this visit- I wanted his attention, but why? Did I want him to beg me to stay with him and marry me, or just for us to have sex? Or to officially end this bizarre thing we called a relationship? Whatever happened, I did know that I wanted to look as irresistible as possible, so that even if my heart was broken tonight, my appearance wouldn't reflect it.

My proximity to Eric was already strengthening the effects of our bond, reminding me of one reason why I had come. I felt his excitement and anticipation flowing through it. Eric's emotions couldn't be the result of my presence, however, because he had no idea I would be here tonight. I wondered a little about this.

Shaking off my doubts, I took a deep breath and headed to the entrance of Fangtasia. Tonight, Clancy was the bouncer, and he leered at me before grabbing my invitation to verify its authenticity. I returned his lewd expression with a level, composed stare. I had never challenged him in such a way, but maybe this outfit was making me feel more confident than I had initially thought.

He uncharacteristically backed down and allowed me to pass through. Surprised, I managed a slight nod in acknowledgement.

Halloween was obviously a special event for Fangtasia, and there were tons of fangbangers outside clamoring to get in (many of whom had shouted vulgar insults at me for being allowed to enter). However, the club had been reserved solely for vampires and their guests. About fifty or so vamps were already there, and about half of those had brought companions.

Vampires are surprisingly enthusiastic about Halloween, and most of them were wearing very...revealing costumes. I saw an Adam and Eve, a Rhett and Scarlett (yes, seriously), a Greek god and goddess, and several other elaborate outfits. Some of them reminded me of what Dolly Parton once said, that 'it cost a lot of money to look this cheap.'

I wondered what Eric might be dressed as, assuming that he had dressed up.

I looked around but didn't immediately spot him. In true Eric Northman fashion, he was probably waiting until all the guests had arrived before making his big entrance.

Felicia was bartending for the evening, and after I gave her my drink order (seven and seven), she eyed me warily as she made it. One or two other guests seemed to notice our exchange, and they seemed confused about why a big bad vampire would fear lil', ol' human me. I raised my eyebrow and shrugged a little, as if to say, "Who knows?"

Felicia slid the drink in front of me and I thanked her as she practically fled to the other end of the bar. Smiling a little to myself, I took a short but blissful sip of my tasty concoction.

There was a movement at my left shoulder.

"Sookie, I'm so glad you're here. You're my favorite means of entertainment, as you know. You look simply ravishing." Pam's compliment was the equivalent of a regular person gushing and fawning over my outfit, so I felt marginally more relaxed and even slightly pleased.

I set my drink down and turned to her. "Thanks, Pam. I'm glad you approve."

I was a little taken aback by her outfit, though. Apparently she had decided to embrace her past because she was dressed as Victorian-era woman, in a rather shabby yet voluminous dress and petticoat. It took me a second glance to realize she wasn't an ordinary woman, but rather a "lady of the night," as my grandmother might have tactfully said. Pam also had two puncture wounds painted on her neck, and TruBlood streaked across her collarbone and chest.

"I'm one of Jack the Ripper's victims," she said cheerily, in response to my unasked question.

I frowned. "He was a vampire? Is he still—"

"—undead? No, eventually some high ranking vampires realized what a threat his insanity was to the potential discovery of our kind. So they off'ed him." Pam smiled as I absorbed this information.

Well, that's good...I think.

Something else dawned on me. "Eric's not dressed as Jack the Ripper, is he?" I asked nervously.

Pam's smile widened. "Of course not. Just wait, I think you'll like it."

Speak of the devil and then he appears.

Turning from Pam, I saw that Eric was on the stage at the front of the club, where he normally presided on his throne. As far as I could tell, he wasn't wearing a costume. He was clothed in dark jeans, a white collared shirt, and a long black duster. His hair was held back in a low ponytail at the base of his neck. The sleeves of his duster came up just past his wrists as he spoke into a microphone.

I was loathed to confess that, despite the lack of costume, he looked devastatingly delicious.

He welcomed everyone to Fangtasia and encouraged them to have a "fangtastic" evening. If anyone else had made this pun, the audience would have been snickering, but Eric's smooth voice succeeded in making it sound like a really, really sexy invitation.

As he was setting the microphone down on the DJ's table and the next song began playing ("Psychotic Girl" by the Black Keys), his electric blue eyes met mine.

Okay, here was the moment I had been waiting for.

I smiled at him and clicked the switch in my mouth with my tongue. My Fangtures snapped out, and I could feel their sharp points pressing into my bottom lip.

Eric fumbled with the microphone and almost dropped it. Never, in all the time that I had known him, had he shown anything less than complete self-composure.

Score one for the Sookster, I thought triumphantly.

Surely he had felt my exaltation at his expense through the bond; his eyes began to glitter dangerously. Ignoring several of his guests who were attempting to thank him for their invitations, he stepped off the stage and advanced towards me quickly while his coat billowed out behind him.

For a moment, I forgot about everything except for the lust that the sight of him had afforded me. It had been several weeks since I had last seen him, and in the surreal lighting of this club, I was struck by how truly handsome my vampire was. Tall and blonde, with the features of a Norse god and the...ahem, assets of one, too.

But more than anything, it was those enigmatic eyes: hot and cold, confident and desperate, and all the things that shouldn't be allowed to coexist, were in those eyes. How on earth did I ever manage to capture this man's attention, I marveled; and then he reached me and the spell was broken.

"Sookie, what is this?" he questioned as he gestured at my costume, in an uncharacteristically public display of emotion (anger, specifically). Oh goody, I was hoping he had noticed.

My smile returned. "I'm a vampire, Eric. Rawr." I punctuated this comment by turning back to my drink and taking another sip.

He gaped at me for a moment longer.

"Oh. Hell. No. You look like a prostitute."

My eyes narrowed even as I felt Pam shaking silently with laughter next to me.

I slammed my glass down with a furor that matched his, which was boiling and coursing its way through our bond. I was about to retort that Pam was dressed as the hooker, not me.

But before I could say boo to a ghost, he had scooped me over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. My face burned a bright red as my blonde hair cascaded over my collarbone, and my backside felt very cool suddenly. I was cursing Amelia's advice again, although this time not quite so internally, as I realized the entire room was getting a good look at my ass.

Eric stormed into his office and threw me on the couch before settling behind his desk in his high-backed chair. I stared back at him defiantly, crossing my arms and daring him to speak first. The stupid Fangtures were really starting to annoy me, so I pulled them out and flung them across the room before re-crossing my arms. He folded his hands in his lap and leaned back, seemingly perturbed by my little display of immaturity.

His next words were especially cutting, on account of their harsh delivery and his sharply pronounced accent, which was always more prevalent when he was angry.

"Sookie, I refuse to endure any more of this independent female, 'I am woman, hear me roar,' bullshit. It has been three months, one week, and four days since we have last seen each other, and you have the audacity to show up here wearing that. It's whorish behavior, and it's beneath you."

My lip trembled but I refused to let the hot tears spill onto my cheeks. I took a deep, determined breath before I spoke.

My possible responses were, "And I'm sure you wish you were beneath me, too."

Or, "I'm surprised you took time out of your life to notice."

Or heck, even a wistful, "You counted the exact number of days we've been apart?" (Although this last one would have obviously destroyed any possibility of me regaining control over this situation.)

Instead, I retorted childishly with, "At least I'm wearing a costume."

Eric looked taken aback. "I am in costume, though. Your roommate, the witch, called to inform me of your presence this evening...and she suggested something that she thought you would like."

"Well, you look like an average Joe to me," I snorted, unsuccessfully trying to ignore my inner voice, which was accusing me of being a big, fat liar. He looked at least 1,000 times more attractive than an "average Joe," (that's one time more for each year he had been alive), and we both knew it.

But for the first time this evening, he relaxed a little and a small yet satisfied smile appeared on his lips.

"Exactly."

I still didn't understand, so I moved closer to examine him.

He didn't seem as pale as usual, but that could just be make-up. Or the effects of a recent "donation," but I really hoped not. I also recalled that his hands had felt slightly warm earlier, as he was carrying me to his office, but still, that could just be a circumstantial thing. Actually, he had hesitated slightly with effort when he had lifted me, a fact that hadn't registered until now. But still, I couldn't understand what these signs could have meant. If I had been aware that the truth was within the realm of possibility, I would have guessed it immediately.

I stared at him for a moment longer, and he squirmed a little. What the...Vampires didn't squirm. Or fidget. That was a human thing.

Intrigued, I moved even closer and instinctively placed my hands on his face. He was an exceptionally clear broadcaster once I touched him.

I love you. God, how I love you.

Startled, I jerked my hands away as if they had been burned. He looked at me cautiously, unsure of my response.

I laughed in disbelief.

Eric was human.

My hands moved of their own volition and stroked his face, his neck, his hands, any and every available space of skin.

"Eric, how...how did you do this?" I was awestruck.

He cautiously explained, "Before you get too excited, it's only temporary, for the next few hours or so. And then I turn back into a vampire. I'm like that story, Ashes Girl." Cinderella? I guess that makes me Prince Charming, I thought irrationally and somewhat giddily.

"Your roommate discussed my costume options with Pam- without my prior knowledge or consent, of course. The witch realized she could create a magical substance that would allow me to exist in this form, for a short while, and only during this holiday of Samhain."

Well, who needed a fairy godmother (or grandfather, in my case), when you had access to one heck of a witch?

He kissed the palm of my hand before continuing. "It is a slightly painful transformation, and requires some sacrifice, but it's my gift to you, lover. To apologize for having spent so much time apart."

Still shocked, I asked, "Why didn't anyone else realize this? All of the vampires out there...how could they not see it?"

He replied thoughtfully, "Well, it took you a few minutes to realize it, and we are blood bonded. The other guests haven't realized because, quite frankly, to them, it seems like an utterly impossible occurrence. I think that even if someone told them, they still wouldn't believe it. Faith in ignorance can be quite a powerful thing, you know."

Suddenly, I was all too aware of my tawdry costume. I covered my face in my hands, embarrassed by my own selfish idiocy. Eric tried to remove them, but I refused to let him.

"Sookie, look at me," he coaxed gently.

I shook my head.

He stood, pushing his chair back and placed his hands on my hips. I lowered my hands a little and peeked up at him over my red fingernails.

"Uuu bummh inng uuhm uhh mmomahuh muuch," I mumbled, still mortified.

"Will you please remove your hands," he exasperatedly not-so-much-asked-as-commanded.

I allowed my hands to slide down my face before I placed them on his chest. I had lowered my eyes, but Eric tipped my chin so that I was looking directly into his.

I cleared my throat guiltily.

"I said, 'You must think that I'm a monumental bitch.'"

"No, of course not...but I'm not exactly sure what you were aiming for in that particular outfit," he responded reasonably, his blue sapphires peering into me.

"Me either. I guess I just wanted your attention," I said, a little glumly.

His gaze lingered on my cleavage and he pulled me to him. I gasped when I felt his hardness pressed against my stomach.

"There are much easier ways, lover," he growled in a low voice. Lust flooded our bond on both sides and then he was kissing me, plundering my mouth with his talented tongue.

I responded eagerly, fisting my hands in his collar and in his hair.

Fuck, Sookie, lover, mine, fuck, mine...were his only thoughts. I had always worried about being intimate with a human, but Eric's thoughts were nothing except worshipful as his lips melded passionately against mine.

His long fingers quickly made their way to the laces of my corset, and he deftly loosened the ties. We paused long enough for him to slide the corset up over my head and then I was topless. My breasts pressed against his shirt, and we resumed our kissing as I fumbled with his duster. Eventually, he slid out of it, but I broke away again as I reached for his shirt buttons. Unable to get the first one undone, I gave up and, frustrated, ripped it apart. The buttons popped off, and Eric looked down at me in amusement.

"Eager, aren't we?" he teased.

Well, baby, turnabout's fair play.

I hitched up my right leg, placed my heel on the top of his desk, and boldly grabbed his ass, so that I could grind against him at a closer angle. His very human breath caught at this movement.

I vaguely registered that the music had changed- the speakers were now blaring Nine Inch Nails' "Closer." (I was amazed that I not only recognized this song, but that I could acknowledge the existence of a world outside of Eric's office right now.)

These thoughts ground to a halt as he picked me up and set me on his desk. I wrapped my legs around his waist and continued to grind against his hard length.

He gave me a warning look, but he had forgotten that his thoughts were betraying him.

Fuck, Sookie, love you so much, fuck, anything for you, anything you want.

I'll admit that I took advantage of him by saying authoritatively, "That's right, Eric. Anything I want."

After that, he seemed determined to level the playing field. He unsnapped my stockings from my shorts, slowly rolling them down my legs, one at a time, before peeling them and my shoes off. His mouth blazed a hot trail of kisses up my right thigh before he roughly tugged off my shorts. Meanwhile, I had been watching him intensely and clutching the sides of the desk, reveling a little in the heat and loveliness of it all.

He stepped out of my reach and undid his jeans. They fell to the ground and my mouth watered a little as it was met with the spectacular sight of his gracious plenty...It was like my own personal Great Pumpkin, I thought appreciatively.

Eric confidently placed himself at my wet, tight entrance. His eyes locked onto mine. I gripped the edge of the desk a little tighter when he first entered me, and I leaned my head back as he continued to push into me.

It wasn't the familiar sensation of a cold knife slicing through hot butter, but warm skin sliding against warm skin. In this human form, he was my equal.

This knowledge gave me power. I purposefully squeezed my internal muscles around his cock, and he groaned, pausing as he seated himself fully inside of me.

My hips rolled against him repeatedly, and he groaned again.

Must. Get. Control, he thought.

I smiled wickedly. Good luck with that, Eric.

I continued to rock back and forth against him, moaning and gasping exaggeratedly.

He was caught up in my movement for a few moments before he realized that I was directing this interlude.

He slid out completely then grabbed and squeezed the backs of my legs, and exerting great force, pulled me flush against him. I gasped loudly, (for real this time), as he reared back and slammed into me again. His hands moved to grip my hips for better leverage.

His eyes bore into me, and he was grunting and growling with effort as he repeated the motion again and again. My hands kept their death grip on the edge of his desk as he continued to pound into me.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, yes, yes, yesssss. This time I was overcome by my own lustful thoughts instead of Eric's. This was the best I had felt since the last time he had been inside of me. My body arched helplessly; I was out of my mind with desire, with the desperate need to feel this good forever, and ever, and ever, no matter the cost. He continued his relentless assault on my body, but one hand snaked between us and he firmly and quickly stroked my hardened nub. This spurred me to move again, albeit somewhat erratically.

I was panting, moaning, struggling to catch my breath, twisting and writhing around, and still my appetite for Eric was insatiable. Completely heedless of the dozens of guests with vampiric hearing, I screamed his name as he fucked me right to, and over, the blissful precipice of the most extremely intense pleasure I had ever experienced. As I shuddered and climaxed, my hands flew to his arms, and my nails dug deep into his skin. He gasped sharply but excitedly from the pain, and his hips lunged forward one final time as he buried himself within me. I felt his hot, human seed spill into me and finally I stilled.

His upper torso collapsed on top of me, and I forced myself to loosen my hold on his upper arms. My limbs felt weary, like I had just run an epic marathon. I wanted to embrace him, but my brain simply refused to pass this information on to my muscles.

I was content to lay there for a while longer, luxuriating in his weight and protection, even as Eric's thoughts flooded my mind.

I braced myself, but mostly he was just reminding himself to breath, that he needed the oxygen. My coherence finally returned, and I realized that I could feel his heart beating erratically against his chest, which was pressed up against my cheek.

I didn't want to move, but eventually, I needed air too. I gently pushed Eric away, until he reluctantly lifted himself off of me and fell back into his chair with a sheepish grin. His hair was completely loose and he ran a hand through it distractedly. (Geez, even Human I-just-got-fucked Eric was still ridiculously good looking).

"Wow...that was...I was..." he gave a short laugh. "Well, some things maybe aren't quite as great when you're vampire," he admitted.

I raised myself slowly to a sitting position on the desk, before hooking the chair arms onto my feet and rolling him back to me. We were about eye level with each other as I reached out my hand and pressed it against the left side of his firm, warm chest.

My fascinated gaze moved from that spot to his eyes, and then slowly back and forth several more times. I was trying to reassure myself that this wasn't some wonderful dream, that I was actually getting to experience Eric as a human.

His thoughts were amused but patient as I continued to inspect his body in a studied, scientific way. I noted with intense concentration that his chest rose and fell under my palm with each breath. My fingertips pressed against his jugular vein, which pulsed steadily, before they brushed gently against his lips, which were soft and warm. I knew that at least for the next few hours, he would not be a cold supernatural creature- but for all intents and purposes, he was still my controlling, thoughtful, loving Eric.

My heart caught in my throat as I considered exactly what this meant for us.

The fact that Eric would make himself vulnerable in this way, and open his thoughts to me...it showed an incredible amount of trust. And yes, love.

The right corner of Eric's mouth tugged upwards in a half-smile, as a response to my thorough physical examination.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, loosely wrapping his muscular arms around my waist.

"I'm thinking I'm glad you're not a cat right now."

He gave me a weird look so I elaborated.

"Let's just say that Amelia's spells are very hit or miss."

He was still understandably confused and I was tempted to tell him the whole story, but being wrapped in his warm, human embrace made me realize that there were other things I wanted to do beside talking.

My lips tenderly sought his, and we shared a deep kiss.

I love you, Sookie, he thought clearly.

I murmured against his mouth, "I love you, too."

I knew that whatever was coming next, we would face it together. And conquer it together.

*******

A few months later, I was getting ready for work when I was overcome by an odd nausea. I reached the toilet just in time before vomiting and emptying the contents of my stomach into it. After about twenty minutes, the nausea had passed and I felt fine.

That's odd, it can't be food poisoning, I thought worriedly. And it can't be that other thing, because I haven't been wit-

My hand flew to my mouth. Oh yes, I had been with a human. Eric the human.

Of all the things that had happened to me since I had become part of the supernatural community, realizing that I was pregnant with a vampire's baby was far and above the absolute weirdest and most terrifying.

The only comfort I had was in picturing Eric's reaction when I told him.

Oh boy...or girl.

FIN.