Disclaimer: I don't own Ranma 1/2, the characters, or anything there-in. That much should be obvious.
Author's intro: This is a backburner project I've toiled with for a few months now, just working on it in snippets here and there. It's a fusion effort of Ranma and Ako; specifically Ranma-chan is Ako. As I did with Akane-megamisami, I took the Ranma crew and smashed them into them into new roles as the ideas came to me. No one from Ako, most likely, will actually play any part in this story. It's just the Ranma crew in entirely different situations. Also, no this is not a Ranko-Akane fic; their relationship will simply be a gag. If it does become serious, I assure you it will not be in a romantic capacity.
Also, I generally suck with comedy; I won't have you rolling in the floor, and I won't claim to have that talent. I do, however, hope that the situations bring a smile to your face, and be fairly cute and amusing, even if I can't generate hardcore laughter. In any case, enjoy.
- - - - -
The Saotomes couldn't have been any more proud than the day new life was brought into the world by Genma, with some pointless grunting and heaving by Nodoka. After all having a child couldn't possibly be the affair she made it out to be; honestly, all that groaning and mumbling over labor. If it hurt so much, why did the woman take ten hours to bring the child into the world? Just bite the bullet, push, and plop, out it should come. However, she was a woman, so Genma could forgive the theatrics.
Never let it be said that Genma Saotome was a mysaginistic a-hole.
In any case, at long last they had produced. With all the honest work done by Nodoka, and her husband being a less than worthless cheerleader.
Genma, in spite of himself, melted at finally seeing his child for the first time. He was a lie, cheat, and thief, but no man with even a hint of true sensativity in his body, however buried it might be, was immune to the glow of fatherly pride.
The nurse weighed, measured, and cleaned the bawling bundle of flesh, then with a harsh look and instruction on how to properly hold it, Genma was passed the most precious cargo in all humanity.
That smashed face and red skin wasn't very attractive, and that powerful set of lungs wasn't very calming on the nerves, but still in the small corner of his tiny, very tiny heart Genma blushed and gave himself a mental pat on the back.
Here it was, the future. Both his family line, his school, and most important of all, his retirement. The martial artist had to admit, he'd done a good job on this one. The ki-flow was so strong, just'a blasing like a bonfire. His wife had certainly given her two cents as well, he could see it in the baby's nose.
Just then, the child stopped screaming and opened its eyes. Big, blue jewels locked onto the dark brown of the father. Then the two proceeded to stare at one another, neither blinking.
Genma just beaming. "Yes, alright boy, I'm your father."
While the child just adopted an expression that screamed WTF is this fat thing?!
The look was wasted on Genma, too dense to even believe his child could possibly be regretting the male provider of half its gene-code not five minutes after birth.
Upon closer inspected of the still damp scalp, Genma frowned. The hair was thin, with only whisps, but he'd never seen such a vibrant red on an human being in this continent. Even his wife, who's hair was something of a chesnut and auburn, had never even come close to such fire-truck colors. Were there even Caucasians that had such hair?
Frowning deeper, something tickling the back of his brain, Genma cracked open the blanket his little bundle of joy, and many many years of aggrivation to come, was wrapped in and took a look between the legs.
He instantly paled, passing the baby to Nodoka, who took immediaty to cooing and praising her first born. The blue eyes swung to the woman, the baby gave out the tiniest sound that might have been taken for a sigh of contentment, and then promply went to sleep. Somewhere deep down, the child knew instantly this was the right place to be.
Genma just stood in the delivery room, looking at a spot on the wall without really seeing anything. How with one flip of the coin could everything go so horribly wrong? For that matter, how could his wife have so royally screwed up the task for which she was geared?
I'm sorry, Soun old buddy...so much for my retirement. And the fatman promptly collapsed in a dead faint. No one noticed, no one cared. The staff went about cleaning up and getting the incubator to cook some of the jaundice out of the child's system.
Nodoka, hair down and matted with sweat, body aching and tired despite the drugs, and what good drugs they were, just smiled and stroked the little head resting on her arm. Despite the tumble of her husband to the floor, neither of his family members bothered to look. His wife engrossed in the baby, and their child sound asleep through the clamour.
On the floor, Genma twitched. Why had fate been, so cruel as to curse him with a girl?
- - - - -
Oh, to think how special you truly are. Nodoka mentally patted herself on the back. To have someone to take over the ancestral legacy. She'd never bothered to tell Genma about the special breeding line Nodoka was inheritor to, and that this child was the ultimate culmination of generations of carefully selective breeding.
Oh, she loved Genma honestly, but he was really only a stepping stone in producing the true future of humanity. Some ancestor lost to recorded history had set the path with the birth of his daughter, and from there it had been followed with fanatical zeal. The attempt to realise the greatest warrior, with abilities that superceeded all limits.
Little Ranko was the future, the boundless potential of human perfection just waiting to be unleashed. Unfortunatly, also the only such child that would ever be produced. The ancient line of breeders had steadily thinned or succumbed to misfortune. There were some that had managed to survive, just slightly, fruit of their loins was strong, but still not the greatest achievement. Only Nodoka could trace a flawless, unbroken lineage back to the root family.
Here in her arms was centuries of planning and toil. A child that would pave the way for new possibilites. Well, that was the ideal. Nodoka was just happy to have a child of her own, someone that was completely and utterly dependent upon her for the next several years.
Ranko would embrace her legacy, her mommy would see to that. But in her heart, Nodoka wanted her child to be happy, and honorable, and strong. Her little Ranko was unsculpted clay ready to be shaped. Raw iron ready to be forged into a flawless sword. Here was a hero waiting to spread her wings and take flight.
A hero that promptly opened her eyes and started bawling at the top of her lungs once more. Nodoka blinked, then at the suggestion of a nurse, set her baby to her breast for the first time and let the girl suckle. Ranko took to it with gusto, not even five minutes old and already hungry, she was definatly a Saotome.
Genma remained on the floor, forgotten.
- - - - -
Nerima: 16 years later
"Come on Oyaji, keep up! Sheesh, you'd think even an old man like you could keep such a easy pace."
"Girl...quit your shouting and...show your father some respect." A very worn, wheezing Genma finally crested the hill. His brow was sopping wet, and his gi soaked through with sweat. Sure, he could do an endurance run with full pack, no problem. But this, this was insane. This was inhuman!
What was a grueling endurance run for him, was a short jog for his seemingly super-human offspring; what was a good endurance run for her, was a near death sentence for him. Not long from the time her muscle coordination set in, did it become noticable she was significantly blessed with physical gifts. Actually, blessed didn't even do her justice.
By six she could outrun her father.
By eight she was outlifting him.
By ten she was performing feats that put the finest athlets on the planet to shame. And it had only been steadily increasing from that time on. When she ran all out, she tore into the super-sonic. When she exerted the true limit of her strength the mind boggled to try and grasp the figures.
She had gotten so powerful in fact, that even the lightest touch could destroy normal objects. Even reinforced concrete had little chance against her. Thankfully, and by means Nodoka had not divulged, the Saotome mother had presented Ranko a pair of bracers that allowed her to control the nigh godlike power in her body.
So, when Ranko decided she was bored with their training regiem and wanted to really push herself, Genma was left in the dust wondering how long before his body finally quit altogether. They'd been going non-stop for over a week to reach Nerima, Tokyo, a week only because Ranko didn't feel like running and carrying her deadbeat old man the whole way.
Really, in hindsight, it wouldn've been easier just to chunk him over her shoulder and bring him along. He simply couldn't match her in any realm of capability. Oh he still put up a good fight, but that was only because Ranko held back for fear she'd break him.
Honestly, she saw no point in this whole training journey to begin with, except for the fact her mother had insisted it was important. The fighting training had been fun, teaching her new ways to harness herself, and even showing her ways to control her power. That was perhaps the most useful of the things she'd picked up.
Without her bracers, she was still a threat to the planet at large, but combining them with her extensive training and she was now capable of applying just enough force to knock a man stupid. Compared to completely pulverising his skull with a careless haymaker. So, the training wasn't a complete waste.
If only her lame horse of a father weren't so useless. There were times it would be so much kinder just to put a bullet in his leg and make him sit home to be nursed by Mom. Tempting thoughts, but for now she'd tolerate the old fart a little while longer.
Another dip and rise, and finally they were insight of their goal. The crowded urban sprawl of their home district. Ranko didn't normally care for the overcrowded population centers of Japan, much prefering the seemingly unrestricted freedom of trees and plants in the forests compared to the concrete jungle that was a modern city. However, she had to admit that some things were hard to replace, such as flushing toilets, public baths, and well stocked manga sections in book stores. Of course, natural hotsprings and the sounds of nature were better than the song of the city.
Nerima did have one thing worth all the stress of fast paced life though, Mom. Half Ranko's life was spent on the road. Visiting dojos, training grounds, and just letting her father run her nuts with his insane ideas of martial arts training, which were actually quite good for a budding super-human. Yet, they always returned every six to nine months to spend some time at home. For Genma it was time to recoup from getting both a bruised ego and intense pride at seeing how well his progeny was developing. He also needed time to come up with new and more difficult means of training, without telling his wife of course.
They'd progressed well past wrestling wild tigers, swimming in tanks filled with starving sharks, toughing up by getting smacked with four ton steel beams, and other ridiculous measures. By now he was certain his daughter was bulletproof, could stand a highspeed impact from a train, and probably survive a point-blank detonation from a pound of C-4. Every time they came home, Genma was a loss for how to proceed with the next round of training. So, he'd bring them home, eat his wife's cooking, and research the latest tests being performed with modern weaponary. Every now and then those people trying to blow up the latest in tank armor came up with a good idea that Genma could improvise into training.
This time, though, they were coming home for more than just a recovery. It was time to visit Soun. To reveal the truth he'd been unwilling to communicate with his friend for some sixteen years. They had planned to marry their children, if possible, and unite the schools. As far as Genma knew, Soun only had daughters, so that was out. He'd never managed to get Nodoka pregnant again, so no sons. He'd seen Soun once or twice over the years, but whenever the topic of their agreement came up, Genma dodged the issue.
Now it was time to face the music. The last year and a half had been spent in China, seeing what those masters he could find would offer up for his child. The results had been mixed. Genma had wanted to try a legendary place called Jusenkyo, but Nodoka had managed to get a hold of him somehow and demand he return home. It was time for him to settle back into normal life, find a job shudder and put Ranko in highschool. He'd had his fun, getting the Saotome heir initiated in the family style, but life waited for no one, and for Ranko to survive the modern world she needed her eduation, or so claimed his wife.
There had been no request on her part, it was an ultimatum. Nodoka would accept her daughter was a tomboy, but she refused to have allow the girl's domestic education to be delayed any longer. It was Nodoka's will that her daughter would be a proper bride by the time she was twenty, married or no, even if it killed her husband. There other reasons as well, such as deciding it was time to let Ranko in on the secret family legacy she would inherit, but Genma didn't need to know that.
Knowing better than to go against his wife, he decided he might as well kill two birds with one stone. Soun had daughters, at least one of which was Ranko's age, or near to it, who better to help his daughter intergrate herself into the world of being a modern teenager? And while he was at it, he and Soun could perhaps make plans to simply delay the agreement for a generation. Soun didn't have a great deal of backbone anyway, he'd had all the spine of a jellyfish the whole time Genma knew him.
Yes, they would work out a mutually beneficial arrangment and Genma could avoid work for a little while more. His wife would turn up sooner or later, but for now he could enjoy a few months of peace, all at his friend's expense.
Ranko hadn't slowed down to admire the scenery or let her poor father catch-up, ungrateful girl. She was already following the map in her hand to the nearest rail terminal so they could get to their own neighborhood. Genma took a deep breath and broke into her train of thought.
"Not that way, Ranko."
The redhead frowned as she turned to reguard her father. Ever the impudent whelp, her brow arched and her blue-eyes were clearly displeased with that statement. It was only for love of her father that she let him still have a voice in her life. There was no respect there anymore, that had been pounded out by his tendency to be both contradictary, stupid, and didn't instill any moral respect into her anyway. Still, he was her father, like it or not, and they'd spent most of her life side by side. There was still love there, otherwise she'd probably just fold him in half, stuff him in a box, and mail him to Alaska. Heaven help Genma Saotome if his child ever really developed a rebellious streak. He'd have a doughnut's chance in a police station at survival.
"Waddya mean, not that way? We always catch the train back home. We live clear on the otherside of Nerima, old man. In case you've forgot, there's what, almost three quarters of a million people living here? You sure as hell better not be suggestin we walk home!" She was mad from the beginning of her query, and was growling in her throat by now. "I aint seen mom in more than a year, I'm hungry, and I want to sleep in my own bed for once. If you even think you're gonna slow me down you'd better go make sure your insurance is paid up, cause they'll be pulling you out of Mt. Fuji!"
Genma was unwilling to directly admit fear of his daughter, but he backed up slightly anyway. He'd seen her toss boulders weighing several tons the distance of several football fields, if she'd decided to angle his flight properly just how far would a grown man who weighed less than two hundred pounds fly?
"No, nothing like that girl. I just have a friend who lives in a neighborhood nearby and I wanted to stop in for a visit. We'll eat over at his place, maybe stay the night. Would you really be so cruel as to deny your father one or two diversions?" He intentionally left out any mention of actually leaving or calling his wife. He'd notify her, in time, for now he wanted to sort out problems one at the time, and try to relax.
Ranko looked skepitcal, not liking the idea of going somewhere other than home when they were only a short trip away, but let it pass for the time being. For love of her father.
Genma, by now having caught his breath, nodded and started down the hill for the Furinkan area. Hopefully, Soun would be in a good mood and willing to listen to reason. Even if it took a little arm twisting and a lot of drink to do it.
- - - - -
Soun was trying to enjoy a quiet afternoon, he honestly was. Although, his definition of quiet was not the standard most people lived by. That point was made, again, when the house was shook by an explosion. The Tendo patriarch has stopped trying to count some number of years ago. Now the constant detonations were just par for the course, and much more tolerable than the other, horrifying, and unknown screaming that would come rising out of the basement.
A series of secondary, only slightly smaller, discharges caused an intense wind to go sweeping through the house. The kitchen door was carried with them, along with a noxious series of fumes that had the paint peeling off the walls. Soun would have to call the repair crews to try something new, the latest batch of industrial strength obviously couldn't stand up to the power of Akane's experiements. Already wearing a gasmask, he took mild note of the stink simliar to rotted fish, his filter needed changing. Otherwise, he was unbothered, holding tight to his newspaper as it fluttered, although the paper was starting to melt, ah well, he'd read the important part already. The funnies.
"Oh my...Akane, if you've ruined the kitchen I'm going to have to include a surcharge for everything that needs replacing."
His other..daughter, replied far too calmly from her position out in the yard. She was swiftly moving the laundry upwind, it took too much effort to wash out the smell. Better to avoid that bridge entirely than go merrily walking down it. She didn't mind manual labor, so long as her work was properly acknowledged, but doing more than required and she felt obligated to charge.
"Onee-chan, I'm in the middle of my greatest creation to date, don't stiffle me now!" Came the angered cry from the kitchen, followed by a low pop and a curious yellow cloud. Taking one look at the floating mass, Soun quickly concluded it was time to vacate the room. He was mildly curious if mustard gas actually smelled like the said condoment, but knew better than to ask such a stupid question.
His...elder daughter saw the mist, which was now precipitating on the kotatsu, and exclaimed again. For reasons of practical experience the table had been replaced by galvanized steel, with a special chemical coating, and finished with a realistic woodvarnish. That didn't stop the strange, muddy-rain that was falling on it and floor from causing everything it touched to begin smoking and bubbling.
"Oh Akane-chan, acid rain again? Are you sure you're making something new, and not recreating that last failed concoction?" Again, she was far to calm. Her voice containing a strange mixture of eternal peace, and an ice-like promise of death. It was extremely disconcerting.
A shout of anger rang out from the kitchen in reply. The first sign of intense frustration. It was soon followed by a cacophony that wouldn't be out of place on a construction sight. The second sign. Soon there would be a complete breakdown of intellect and nothing more than dirvish of chaos and raw irritation.
There was no time for the senior daughter to muse on the destruction she was going to find. The bell began ringing at the gate, forcing her to turn her attention to seeing about the unexpected guests. She didn't pause, but did scowl in the direction of the kitchen when the entire house shook on its foundations in reply to yet another massive explosion.
"Waahhh!" The shock wave on this carried her poor father right out of the living room and into the yard. The grunt he gave a second later, following immediatly behind a resound thud was likely due to one of the doors blowing off its tracks again. Poor Father, and the poor kitchen. Oh, Akane was going to pay heavily, with extreme interest this time.
But, first, the guests.
- - - - -
Ranko shot her father a very uneasy look when she rang the bell at the gate. Normally the pair would have just jumped the fence and gone right to the door, but sine the large wooden barrier was closed, perhaps it was more polite to use the buzzer. It was also a delay to try and collect their wits, following the strange sounds from the house. No strangers to highgrade explosives, one of them having survived more than one head on explosion, the thoughts of this being a cozy little dojo were quickly being altered.
At first, seeing it as they were coming close, Ranko took it for a nice little home. Perhaps a bit aged and humble, needing some new paint perhaps, it was still nice to see. Places of this size were rare in the modern era. Especially in the middle of a fairly croweded and busy neighborhood. It wasn't the city, but it wasn't exactly a quiet suburb like the Saotome family dwelled in. Even in that comfortable place called home, the buildings were small and a little cramped. Real estate was ever more at a premium, and buildings had to continually go up to get more space as yards and available land were gobbled up by new houses.
A place like this Tendo-dojo was almost an anachronism, going back to the fabled days of yore, how much things had changed in the past twenty years. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to spend a couple days here, relax from training, get to know some new people and then go home. Ranko actually enjoyed the idea, she didn't have many friends, even those she played with in her own neighborhood she only saw a few months out of the year before going off on another training journey. School had been entirely homebound while on the road, and she associated with few people in those many many towns she'd seen over the years.
Yes, a little break would be nice, maybe Pops was right. Even if she suspected he was still holding out on informaton. The closer the two got to the dojo, however, the more leery they became.
Strange smoke, or at least it looked like smoke although Ranko didn't recall ever seeing smoke come in shades of a rather ugly blue and green, rose from the kitchen exhaust pipe. Actually more like billowed, a coal plant couldn't do a better job. That was followed by pops, cracks, and all out explosions. She was also quick to note that the people in the area were quickly flooding out, and no one was going near. Alarm bells were ringing.
Genma and Ranko argued back and forth, more to reaffirm their choice to continue this trip rather than work up a reason to leave. The closer they got, the more both of them regretted being so stubborn in this moment.
Ranko rang the bell and waited, while more kabooms and shouting came from around the side of the house. Then a thump she felt right in the soles of her feet. What on earth were they doing in there, remodelling of the IED variety? A stick of dynamite in a paintcan was not exactly safe or effective interior decorating, unless your goal was to remove unwanted walls from your paint.
The gate was answered by an attractive, very attractive, woman in a housedress. It wasn't exactly a very modest choice in clothing as the fabric clung to a well curved body, generously endowed in the bust with complimenting hips, and smooth, long legs. Ranko felt her body twitch with a pang of desire for this creature. Her hair was unbound, and spilled back in a deep chesnut cascade that just demanded fingers be run through it. Then that smile, it made her knees go weak.
Until she looked into the eyes, there was something deeply unsettling about them; she couldn't put a finger on it, but somehow that inviting and motherly charm had a sinister quality to it. Like, what, this girl was going to lure them inside and then rob them naked? Yeah, that was what it felt like. Loansharks and thievery, but how could this angellic figure be capable of broadcasting such mixed signals?
"Hello?" She inquired, oh her voice, it was so soft. Like carmel and honey. Ranko just wanted to melt!
Genma caught himself before his child, locking an arm around the shorter's body and bowing. "Yes, is Tendo in? I'm an old friend, Genma Saotome. Your father and I trained together a long time ago. I was hoping to drop in and say hello while I was in the neighborhood."
The girl smiled and bowed, turning and promptly escorting them inside. Ranko bit her bottom lip and fought with all her might not to moan at the backside of this girl. A round butt, thin calves. She was a slice of heaven. Oh where was Shampoo when Ranko needed her?
Going through the entrance, shoes were quickly discarded, and then proceeded out onto the veranda at the side of the house. The state of the living room quickly put Ranko on edge. That bubbling sludge eating through the table and then the floor couldn't be a sign of anything good. Then there was the path of destruction the horizontal thermals had been tearing through the house, carrying along anything without significant weight to it.
The girl that had escorted them bowed to a man with long, dark hair who was buried under the rubble that had come outside with him. Groaning as he pulled himself slowly from under the wreckage. Oh yes, this was going to be an interesting stay, in a very liberal sense.
"Father, we have guests, this is..."
"Soun!" Genma quickly jumped down to the grassy lawn and took emotion filled steps toward his old compatriot in arms.
"Huh, Gemna?" The mustached propriator of the estate looked up, only to show a sudden surge of strength and send the mass of wood and paper under which he was buried in all directions. He almost tackled the Saotome male in his delight.
Tears in their eyes, the two men shared an embrace full of emotion, and entirely platonic! They parted to look at one another and give hard slaps on the shoulders.
"Ah, Tendo it's good to see you, old friend. It's been to long!"
"Yes, Saotome, old chum. To many years indeed. You look well, been taking care of yourself, I see?" He poked the man in the stomach, which had been slowly softening over the years, thanks in part to his wife's gormet cooking. Genma kept himself in shape, but he didn't have the inclination to carry on the losing battle of maintaining the figure of his youth. He knew he was a good martial artist, with or without flashy muscles.
The two cut around and exchanged plesantries for a few minutes before another, this time final, explosion rocked the house sideways, almost threatening to rip it off the foundation beams. A cannon blast created by the pressure of the release launched a stream of soot and human projectile.
"Wha?..." Ranko's finely honed reflexes quickly grabbed the girl in the now oily black labcoat, saving her from what could have been a crippling injury. Impacting at sixty miles an hour against a stone wall was not good on the health of one's bones.
Ranko blinked at her living cargo, covered in ash and dust, looking more like a human cinder than a Japanese teenager. The two of them stared at one another, lost in a moment of confusion. Then the girl reacted, slapping Ranko across the cheek. It was barely a sting, but set in motion the fact that Ranko's hand was holding something. It was soft, pliable, but a little small.
"Pervert! Let me go!"
Ranko promptly obeyed, and the girl in her arms thumped onto the hardwood with an undignified yelp. She rose, growling low in her throat. Ripping off the thick goggles that had been shielding her eyes during the experiement she was conducting. That proved to be the only spot on her face not coated in a layer of soot.
"Ah, Genma, who is this girl with you?" The conversation had caught the attention of the fathers, and in turn pulled the girls in.
"Uhh..heh...perhaps we should all go...to the dojo, Soun, old buddy, we have a lot to catch up on."
- - - - -
Comfortably seated in the dojo, the only safe place left for human habitation for the moment, the cleaning crews wouldn't be available until tomorrow at the earliest. After much deliberation, it had simply reached the point a number of years ago that Akane's experiments caused to much secondary damage for one person to clean up in a reasonable amount of time, and were often to dangerous for anything less than a level five biohazard team in full hazmat suits to safely remove.
"Now, girls, this is my old friend..."
"Genma Saotome, and this is my daughter..."
"Ranko Saotome." The redhead was just looking back at the girl with the long, darkblue hair. Who was glaring at her, and comically still in her soiled clothing. She'd refused to use the garden hose, it was to cold to use; and she refused to be soaking wet around this pervert.
"Now, before you ask Tendo. My wife, Nodoka, and I spent years trying to have a baby. Finally, we were blessed with Ranko." He gave his daughter a little squeeze, earning an elbow in the ribs. Taking a pained breath, he continued. "Ah, and we haven't been able to have another child, sadly. It broke my wife's heart, but we counted our blessings and aimed to raise Ranko right.
"I've been taking her on training trips around the country, and into China and India over the years. Learning new martial arts, getting come culture."
Ranko snorted, Stuffing your face, soaking up booze, shooting me with 120 mm artilery rounds...
Soun was moved to tears, gently wiping his eyes. "I'm so sorry to hear that old friend! I know how you wanted a son! But all is not lost, we could still join the houses!"
"Soun?"
"WHAT?!"
One bestfriend, and three girls all exclaimed in the exact same moment. Soun tried to calm the situation, waving his hands for peace. "Now girls, Saotome and I agreed a long time ago that if we were able, we would unite our families in marriage. It was our hope that Genma would have a son, and one of you would marry him.
"However, that obviously isn't the case, but all is not lost. I know it's still a bit of a taboo, but there is no law stopping same sex marriage anymore. I'm a bit uncomfortable with the idea myself, but who am I to judge the happiness of others?"
Ranko was suddenly choking on a bad inhale. Marry? A woman? Well. It wasn't that bad a thought, the longer she dwelt on it. That sweet little minx Shampoo had shown her more than a few ways to have fun, but marriage? That was a bit extreme at so young an age, not that she would mind getting to know the older girl in this family a little better.
Soun quickly scooped his arm around Ranko and waved his arm. "My youngest daughter, Akane, sixteen. She's a brilliant scientist and winner of many national awards for her contributions to the areas of demolitions, military weaponry, and many other fields."
That was easily believed, given the earlier display of destructive shockwaves and blasts that had rocked this humble dojo down to the core of the earth. How the house remained standing was beyond her, especially given how remarkably calm the other two were, it must've been a common occurance. Military weapons? That would match the hotheaded nature of the girl. Honestly, save her from a bone crunching meeting with the wall, and what thanks does she give?
"My, uh, other daughter. Kabiki..." He was interupted mildly by the girl in question.
"Ah, father, I've decided to change to Nasumi, while as Kasumi I am older, Nabiki insisted, so I agreed."
That brought up blinks of confusion from everyone in the room. What was she talking about? What, were there two people in her head?
"Ah, hahahah...forgive me dear. Nasumi. She is, oh, how do I put this...umm..."
"I am the unfortunate fusion of both Kasumi and Nabiki Tendo, thanks to one of Akane's inventions. Our bodies were combined into a single unit and our personalities gave been steadily meshing since then. It's been very tough for the last six months, but I'm adapting."
Right... Was the only thought to Ranko's mind.
Akane actually looked meek, and were she not covered in black dust would probably be shown to blush.
"It was an accident. My molecular-recombination ray was supposed to only work on inorganic matter, not living tissues. Sure I intended to include a function to use on plants later, but not animals. How was I supposed to know it would merge to people into a single organism? I'd say the end result was pretty good, wouldn't you? You haven't needed any therapy, and you've got all the best features of my sisters combined."
The one called Nasumi was thoughtful a moment, before nodding. "I suppose you're right. It has been an interesting experience, speaking of which, I still need to calculate the charges for your destruction of my kitchen."
A nervous chuckle issued from Akane's lips.
"Anyway, Ranko. Take your pick. Either girl, she'll be your fiancee."
"Ah...right...well, thanks for the interesting offer, I'll give it a lot of thought; but right now we really should be going. Don't want Mom to worry about us after all. Thank you for your hospitality." Swiftly the girl grabbed her still stunned father and easily began to drag his carcass for the doors. Sometimes her superior strength was remarkably handy. Especially when dedicated to manhandling her father.
"Ranko, where do you think we're going? There's no hurry to get back home, besides your mother will be in bed by the time we get there."
His protests weren't going to halt her advance. She'd just strap him to her backpack and turn on the juice the whole way home if she had to. If her father flew apart while she was running at super-sonic speeds, well that was his problem.
Soun, seeing the situation slipping away from him, quickly launched himself around Ranko's waist, tryin to weigh her down. Not aware of the unnatural power in her body, he was stunned to see his mass having no effect on slowing her. In fact, if he didn't know any better, he'd she didn't even notice.
"Please, think about the family honor on the line! This an important decision!"
"Which we shouldn't just rush into!" Ranko continued to pull both men along. Hell, she'd bring Soun with her if he didn't let go. She'd pull this whole house up from the roots and drag it along too. Nothing but nothing was going to stop her from returning to the safe, comforting arms of her small house, and her mother's comparative sanity to this madhouse.
"Goodbye and good riddence, we don't need any perverts like her around here."
Nothing, except that.
Ranko swiftly turned to face Akane, launching both her father and his friend into the dojo's walls, completely forgetting about them even being on her. Stalking up to the slightly taller, but currently sitting mad-scientist, she stomped her foot, making the floorboard crack.
"Listen here, I saved your life! If it wasn't for me, we'd all be scrapping your guts of the wall! I say you owe me a thank you and an apology!"
Not one to be talked down to, and not yet aware of the tremendous power curled in those rather soft female arms, Akane shot to her feet. Using her height to get nose to nose against Ranko.
"Thanks for feeling me up, you pervert! I could have taken care of myself!"
"Oh yeah, I guess you have a point. Those thunder thighs of yours would probably soak up all the impact, kami know that flat chest of yours wouldn't help any!"
Ranko patted herself on the back for that one, she could almost see the red shooting up into Akane's hairline.
"Ooo...you..." She was so furious she couldn't even talk straight.
Laughing broke her concentration to turn to the fathers again. "What do you think, Tendo?"
"Yes, I believe you have a point, Saotome. They're already just like a couple."
"Well then, it's decided..."
"Ranko will marry Akane!"
The father's joined arm in arm, cheering their brilliant decision. While Nasumi clapped. "Oh, I'm so happy for you both, you're made for another."
"You gotta be kidding me!" Ranko growled, flabbergasted. There were occasions when her father just struck her speechless. This was one such time.
"What?! Like hell I'd marry this shrimp, dyejob pervert!"
And her hackles shot up again. "What! My hair is naturally this color, you sooty tomboy! And I'd watch the comments about my height, I got more power in my pinkie than you could in five of you!"
With a twitch in her eye, Akane pulled out a large bore RPG from seemingly nowhere. The barrel, already a good four feet long telescooped out another three. Right in Ranko's face, causing her to reel back a few steps.
"I've had just about enough of you! I'll make you wish you'd never been born!"
"H-hey now...that thing could hurt someone, why don't you put down that little toy of yours before you get yourself injured, tomboy." Ranko developed a massive sweatdrop. This girl was even worse than Shampoo, just where the hell had she been hiding that overgrown toy cannon?
"Now, Akane dear, let's discussion this rationally." Soun's attempts to placate his daughter were met with a vicious roar from his daughter, followed immediatly by the loud crack of her firearm. The girl had no small amount of strength herself, which was how she held the massive thing upright, and only slid back a few inches from the monstrous recoil.
"Hey, I said becareful!" With lightning dexterity, Ranko crossed her hands and swiftly smashed a bracer against the explosive concussion grenade that had been aimed at her face. The round and shockwave both deflected harmlessly, for the most part against the wall. Although, from the wall's perspective it hurt like a witch. Cracking the plaster and internal support structure.
Soun broke out in tears, not even the dojo would be spared his daughter's wrath. In disbelief, Akane quickly tried again. This time dialing in a true fragmentation rocket, and sent it once more to deliver divine justice on this pervert intruder. The result, this time, was Ranko catching it in midflight and throwing the thing out of the door. Where it struck the yard and blasted a good crater in the ground.
"I said, CUT IT OUT!" Ranko wasn't going to stand for anymore, she'd enough of the highyield munitions launched her way for the year. Taking a quick leap she yanked the oversized bazooka from Akane's grip. Then proceeded to fold the metal into a pretzel, the reinforced titanium body groaning under the strain of super-charged muscles pulling it into a crude bowshape.
Chucking it out the door as well, Ranko dusted off her hands. "There, that ought to keep you out of trouble for a little while."
The Tendos just started at her, mortified at the inhuman display. "What?...Oh, didn't we mention, I have super-strength?" Suddenly becoming nervous under the intense attention, she stroked her pigtail and gave a nervous laugh.
Three Tendos crashed into the floor in a massive facefault, while Genma sighed. The next several weeks were going to be very interesting indeed.
