Since sophomore year, she had found this boy intriguing. Nice, smart, and good-looking. But at 15, Shane wasn't the most self-confident girl in the 3000+ student body. Of course she tried to conform – and then rebel, but Shane never found her clique, she just floated around with a small group of friends. She never felt pretty, trendy, glamorous, or even attractive – just average, only brains. But this one boy saw differently. He saw her as attractive, pretty – hot even – but she only knew that from overhearing conversations between him and her friends.
But that one sentence, "Yeah, I think Shane's hot," gave this girl a small glimmer of hope. Maybe "never been kissed" won't last forever. Maybe this boy would be Prince Phillip, awakening Shane from her homely, plain sleep.
I had the notion that you'd make me change my ways
My bad habits would be gone in a matter of days
I had the feeling that you'd open up my eyes
To a whole new world that had since been in disguise
Not so much. Junior year – not a single class with this boy. Not one. Shane did spot him in the hallways, but just for a "Hi!" and quick hug before racing to the next period. Shane did take a chance – went on one semi-blind date. Didn't go anywhere past that. She was proud of herself for stick her neck out and trying to become more sociable. But that boy – the crush lingered throughout the year.
But that day will most likely never come for me
And it's just my luck to end up getting stuck
To everything you are
Senior year rolls around – 2 classes! Yes, maybe this time something will work out for Shane. Hopefully with this boy. Shane's friend knew of her crush and advised her to be wary, this boy doesn't know what he wants. But Shane was trusting, and hopeful.
So second period contains a vague message, "I need to talk to you." Hallelujah, the prayers have been heard. This boy might just give Shane a shot, see her more than a friend, more than someone who reminds them of their forgotten homework.
All throughout the day, Shane imagined how the talk will go down after the NHS meeting. How will he ask? Just hangout at the football game? Or an actual date? These questions bounced all though Shane's mind. She thought of the way he looked at her when he talked to her, tried to notice if he glanced at her in math. How could someone constantly try to decipher, to overanalyze that one sentence?
So tonight I'll sit and pick apart your pictures
And overanalyze your words
But the truth is that I've never fallen so hard
It's taking everything in me
Just to forget your sweater so far
The moment came. The meeting was over, on the NHS sponsor and an officer were left in the room, too. Shane leaned on top of a desk. The boy leaned on the one across from her. She prayed that he couldn't see her shaking – pent up nerves, anxiousness. He smiled and asked, "So… there's Greer."
I had the notion that you'd make me forget the world
But your indecisive mind shows me that
I am "just another girl"
I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real
What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams?
Maybe then you'd know how I feel
Can you hear the ice capes melting? The rock wall of faith and hope of men falling to bits? Shane could – it was deafening. Heartbreaker. Of course he wanted to talk about Greer – the quiet, yet head-strong, and beautiful Greer, one of Shane's friends. Shane was crushed by a crush, but had to do her duty as a friend first.
She advised this boy on how to talk to Greer and if he even had a chance on dating with her. They left the classroom together, Shane trying her damnedest to not scream and sob as this boy, this friend, this heartbreaker walked along side.
As long as I keep my distance
I wouldn't want to go messing anything up
As she walked to her car, Shane called her well-informed friend. "I HATE MEN!" she screamed. The friend knew and felt for Shane (for she too had fallen under this boy's charismatic spell before) but couldn't help by say, "Told you so. He doesn't know what he wants. He's a heartbreaker, Shane, and he doesn't worry because he doesn't know."
So don't go worrying about me
It's not like I think about you constantly
So maybe I do, but that shouldn't affect
Your life
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
I guess that's how this one's gonna go
I'll be the giver and you'll be the taker
You've got me down on my knees and I proclaim
All hail the heartbreaker
So that defiantely just happened to me about 2 hours ago. Men are so blind sometimes. The song was neccessary because 1) it totally screams what just happened and 2) it was the song that came on when I turned on my car after the meeting.
Thanks to Spill Canvas for "All Hail the Hearkbreaker".
R&R
