Through Glass
"I'm looking at you through the glass, don't know how much time has passed, all I know is that it feels like forever…" –Through Glass, Stone Sour
"I love you, Jacob." All these years, those are the words I wanted to hear from Leah Clearwater. But what was I supposed to tell her? That, I, at the time, a ten year old boy, loved Leah, a fourteen year old girl? Of course, there was also, Sam, the 'love of her life.' I would have killed Sam for her. I wanted to kill him, when he broke Leah's heart, and left her for Emily, Leah's best friend. I wanted to be the one to take Leah in my arms, and tell her that she didn't need Sam, and to comfort her until she could stand on her own again, until she could live her life without walking through each day like everyone was out to get her. But Leah didn't get better, and I became worse with her. Then came her transformation. I don't know who it hurt worse, her or me. I tried, I tried to explain everything to her, and she wouldn't listen. Before that day, Leah hadn't known I existed, but now she knew, and I was like a mosquito bite that wouldn't go away to her. I couldn't take comfort in the fact that she thought of all of the wolves like that. I pretended the feelings I had for her were for Bella, and soon, I found I was falling for Bella, too. But my feelings for Leah never went away, they just were hidden, hidden behind a mask of my feelings for Bella Swan, until the day Bella's wedding invitation came, and I knew neither Bella nor Leah would ever love me. I tried to run away, but I couldn't run from my feelings. The farther I got from Leah, the stronger my feelings got. But Leah would never love me. I knew I was facing a life alone, while Leah grieved over Sam, like he died, only worse. So maybe it wasn't Sam's choice to leave Leah. She was still going to blame him for everything. And, I knew, as long as Leah felt resentment towards Sam, I would, too. I hated Sam for taking Leah from me before I had a chance with her, and now I hated him for leaving Leah, like a puzzle he'd half finished, then lost interest in. I knew I should be the one to fill in the missing pieces, but how would Leah react to that? If she knew I wanted to be the one to help her, to be her crutch until she could stand on her own again, would she accept me, or shun me, like she shunned the rest of the things in like that had mattered to her? I'd never know, because, as much as I wanted to, Leah Clearwater would never find out the truth about me.
