I was inspired by an amazing fanart drawn by kyla79. If you want to search for the fanart, go to deviantart and type in 'Snape and Lily.' It's one of the first fanarts that pop up.

Wasting Away

By: Lisa


He didn't like what he was about to do.

More accurately, he had no idea why he was doing this. He knew exactly what he would find… it's not like he didn't know the exact answer. Maybe he was excited for what he would see… or maybe he was dreadfully scared.

Whatever he was feeling, whatever inner battle he was fighting, his legs kept walking forward, almost involuntarily as if Snape had no control over what they were doing.

He paced up and down, back and forth several corridors, knowing that the thing that he wanted to find was there somewhere. His black, cold heart pounded harshly in his chest… he was surprised he even had a heart left after everything that happened in his life… anxiety burst into his heart, almost numbing his entire body. When would he find what he was seeking? He felt his courage start to dwindle, and then he reminded himself that he was a very brave man, and wouldn't back down now after coming so very far…

His patience started thinning, when suddenly, he found it.

It stood tall and majestic, towering over him. It seemed to draw him in, like an inevitable force that would cause him to breathe again, yet suffocate him to the point of death.

He stood before the Mirror of Erised.

An image started to appear, and he already knew what it was going to form. A huge lump seemed to appear in his throat, and tears were threatening to get the better of him. He almost had the urge to run away, he was clearly unable to face what he was about to see… could he really face… her?

After all of the dreams, after all of the thoughts, after laying at bed at night and crying his eyes out… after seeing visions of her, after swearing he could smell her wonderful scent, after imagining times when he could see her, and talk to her, after producing his patronus and watch it run around while he thought of her, after replaying memories in his head, after wanting her so damn much… he would finally see her beautiful face again.

Suddenly, and without any pretense, she appeared.

Lily Evans stood there, as if she standing right in the mirror. She seemed almost too real…

Snape couldn't take it. He wept like he never wept before. Uncontrollable tears and sobs left him, and he could barely breathe. His entire body shook, and the tears fell in puddles on the floor, almost giving him another mirror to look at… Anguish and pain took hold of his heart, and seemed to squeeze all of the life out of him, leaving him unable to take any more…

He looked at her, looked at her beautiful face, her slender figure, and her striking green eyes. She was right there… right there… The woman that he loved his entire life was merely inches away, closer than she had ever been to him and yet so unbearably far…

She had to be real… he stuck his hand out, so close to her face, only centimeters away…

He touched glass.

Agony and misery spread through out his entire body, and he banged his fists against the mirror, as if the physical action could take away all of his pain. He sobbed even more, letting the tears take control of him. No… she was right there, and he couldn't touch her… this, he thought, had to be hell. Nothing had ever hurt more than this… He clawed at the mirror in pain, and cried out Lily's name, as if his cries could bring her back to him...

She was dead… she was dead, because of him.

And just as Dumbledore had said many men had wasted away in front of mirror, Severus Snape died inside.