Author's Note: So, I decided to take a break from writing about how hot people from Ohio are, and write this story. It's semi-autobiographical, and most things written were true at the time, but are not like that now. I used the South of Nowhere characters in place of real people, but the people they are playing in the story correspond to a real counter part (Except in real life I don't have 2 brothers). I'm not sure how long or short this one will be, but I hope it is enjoyed. Leave lots of feedback!


It was a Tuesday. It was Tuesday, July 29, 2008. The first day of the last year of high school. I couldn't believe that I had made it this far. Through all of the bullshit that's happened to me so far. Sometimes I'm amazed at how I'm still here after all of the thoughts run themselves through my mind. Sometimes I get really scared. Sometimes I just want all of my suffering to end. But then I wake up and my school day starts all over again… And it's always the same.

Wake up at 6:30am and snooze until 7:00am at the latest. Shower if I need to, don't if I don't. Get dressed, go downstairs and eat something if I'm hungry enough, head back up the stairs and brush my teeth and hair, skip the make-up since I don't wear it, then watch TV or finish homework until I have to drive my little brother Glenn to school. He's 14 months younger than me, but we've never really been close. I also drive my neighbor Sean to school. It's an agreement our parents have. I drive Sean to school if they drive my other younger brother Clay, who is less than 2 months shy of being 5 years younger than me, to the middle school down the street.

We arrive at school by 7:50am, and I park near the same spot every day. Closest to the school that I can get, parked by the sidewalk by the Tennis courts, backed into the spot and with my sun blocking windshield thing on. If it was gonna be over 100° outside then I am not gonna leave my car exposed to that. Then I walk over to the band room, where I hang out with some of my friends.

I'm not sure if I would even call them friends. What makes a friend anyways? If I had to think about it, I wouldn't consider any of these people true friends. They are my friends that I hang out with everyday; they are my friends that I hang out with when I go to school functions. But, would I trust these friends to have my back no matter what? I'm not sure about that.

I'm usually one of the last ones there. Sometimes I'll be the first one there, but I don't like that. I don't like to look like a loser hanging out by myself. Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of people, but I'm not friends with them or anything. Over the years, I have made acquaintances with people from almost every group of people. There was Madison of the cheerleaders, Aiden of the jocks, Kyla of the theater kids (which sometimes mix with the band kids). Then there was her.

There was Ashley. That beautiful brunette. I had a few classes with her, and I think she knows who I am. But, she's not part of my group, let alone any particular group. She was one of those people who could get along with just about anyone from almost any group of people. She had her own fashion sense. She liked to wear short skirts, as short as dress code would allow her to, and accompany that with any variety of shirts or tank tops or whatever she felt like wearing.

I finally arrived and started talking with my friends. We talked about various things from the summer; what we did, who we hung out with, the drama of it, and the calm of it. Then, the first bell rang at 8:10am. Damn. Now I had to go to class. Well, at least half of my classes are my band classes.

This year, I had 7 classes instead of 8. It was senior year, so we got the choice of either taking 8 classes or taking 7 and getting either a late start or an early leave. I decided that I wanted to leave early and do as little as I possibly could. Thus explains my schedule of 3 band classes, one period of being a teacher's assistant for the band teacher, and various other required classes to fill the other 3 spots. Yes, I know. I am a super band geek.

This year, I'm not only playing my Trumpet, but I'm playing the French Horn in the concert band. There are 3 band classes I will be in. The first is the symphonic band. I've been participating in that one since I was a freshman. The symphonic band is the advanced band, and you have to audition to get in. The exception is if you're asked by the teacher to help it out if it's short on students, like it was that year. There were only 4 trumpets, so my classmates Clarissa and Jaime were asked to help out. Then, Jaime was asked to permanently join the symphonic band, but they also needed another trumpet. I was the next one in line, so I was asked to help out. I did and now have a permanent spot in it. I will be playing Trumpet in that one.

Then you have the concert band. Concert band is considered the beginning band. All new students must be in it. This year, I'll be playing French Horn with Jaime. Both of us have never really played it before so it will be a fun experience. Both concert and symphonic bands are also marching bands during the Fall semester. I participated in it when I was a freshman, but decided against it for sophomore and junior years. Instead I started playing on the girls golf team with my old English teacher.

The final band that I'm in was the Jazz band. When I was a freshman, there were 2 Jazz bands, similar to the format of the classical type of band. This year, there was only one though, which meant that I was being forced to be in this band with the freshman. Then, I'm a teaching assistant a different period altogether, so I was excited for this year.

First and second period were concert and symphonic bands. Then there was lunch. I usually hung out in the band room during lunch, but decided against it this first day. I grabbed my lunch and headed out the door that connects the cafeteria to the band room. Walking down the stairs, I glanced around looking for some people I know. Seeing a group of people, I walked over to where they were sitting. I was greeted with smiles and waves so I sat down.

"Hey nerd!" I heard Aiden say to me in a joking manner as I sat next to him. I respond with a "Hey jock!" as we all pull our schedules out to see if we have any classes together. I had English with Madison and Economics with Madison and Aiden. Both of those classes were tomorrow.

"Hey can I join you?"

We all turned to see Kyla standing there with a smile on her face and a copy of some play in her hands. Aiden forces Madison to move, and waves to Kyla to have her sit next to him. She does and I swear I see a spark between them.

"So, what's the plan for this year Spence?" Madison asks as I'm just looking around the room aimlessly.

"Not much, just gonna try get through this year so that I can move out of my parent's house after schools over."

"It's not really that bad, it is?" I hear Kyla ask.

"That depends on your definition of bad. It's not that easy living a lie ya know."

They all nodded in agreement at that. They all knew I was gay, have known since at least sophomore year when I came out at school. My brother Glenn has been great. He had been one of my biggest supporters. My brother Clay on the other hand, not so much. Although he knows, he doesn't say anything directly in front of my parents. But, he does make fun of me a lot. One of his favorites is to call me "Lezlie". He loves to put extra emphasis on the lez part of that as well, just to rub it in. But, then again he is only 12 while I'm 17.

As for my parents, neither are the easiest to live with. My mom, who works very hard, has asked me multiple times if I have a boyfriend or if there are any cute boys at school. My answer is and always will be no, and no. My dad on the other hand hasn't ever said anything directly to me, which I find much scarier than my mom's constant boy talk. Especially after last year.

Let me explain. Last school year I was doing this awesome decades project for my US History class, and my group had the 80's. We needed a camera man, and I knew Aiden would help me out. Well, over the course of the project, Aiden asked me out. At that point, I hadn't fully realized that I was gay yet, although I had already come out as so. Aiden really liked me, and I thought he was alright, so I agreed to go out with him. He continued to be my camera man, and I continued to try to sort through my feelings. I liked him, just not like that. Man, I wish I could have sometimes. I wish that he and I could have just been happy and that I wasn't like this and that I was just like everyone else. It would make things so much easier if I just liked him.

But I didn't. Not that way. When I told him, it practically broke his heart. He was dumped by his girlfriend about 1 month earlier, so I tried to let him down easy. Although he had already known me all year, and that he knew that I might be gay, I felt really bad letting him think he had a chance when I should have known better. But, me and him are pretty good friends now. I can honestly say that Aiden is one of my better friends, and that I would 100% trust him with my life.

The bell rang, and I headed towards my next class. For third period, I was the TA for my band teacher, and he had a beginning guitar class that period so I nodded at him and headed towards my instrument locker to grab my Trumpet. I took it through the door that leads to the stage, and past the teacher's office. I went into the music library that was in the first door past the corner. I grabbed a plastic stand from the rack and used that to hold the door open as I went back to get my French Horn. I loaded both items into the room, and let the stand keep it open until I come back with my sheet music. I walk back through the short hallway and past his office again. He was in there getting some paperwork together and waved at me to go into the big room and socialize. As I turn away from the window between the 2 doors, I see her.

I see Ashley Davies walk right into the classroom, take a seat by my locker by herself, and look around nervously.

"Spencer, will you call the class to order and tell them that I'll be there in about 2 minutes."

"Sure, no problem" I guess I just froze there once I saw her, so he took that opportunity to give me an order, which I didn't have a problem with.

It was her I had a problem with.