My Love
This was inspired by "My Love" by Sia. I don't own…
Where is your favorite place to be?
Some say the beach. Others say the mountains. Many say laying in a meadow or wishing upon a star.
What would I say? My favorite place to be is in Eli's arms. His hugs are gentle, and you can see the muscle contract and relax as he tightens his arms around you, making sure you're safe and happy.
It's freezing cold outside, but I don't care. "Eli," I begin, fully ready to give up absolutely everything.
"Yeah, Clare?" he replies, fixing his enticingly gentle, sweet green eyes on my piercing blues. I almost don't believe I'm really here, in his very cozy living room, with a blazing fire warming us up until I feel his lips press against my forehead. The texture is sweet and smooth, pink and plump, the softest lips one could ever dream of feeling. He kisses it again, and my heart is burning with love that I don't understand.
I have to look away from those inviting lips because they're making me want to kiss them. "I love you." That is all I say, simply due to the fact that I'm unable to think of anything else. How could I ever explain to him how utterly blessed I was to have him? He'd reverse it. He would say, "No, Clare, I am blessed to have you. You're beautiful." There is no point in telling him how much I want to swim in his eyes, the pools of green almost daring me. They seem to relay the message, "Hey, Clare, want to stay in here forever? Do you love us? We're the most beautiful eyes you'll ever see." He'd reply, "Well, sweetheart, I can only tell you how beautiful your eyes are. They're like frozen oceans, so fragile and prestigious that no one is allowed to enter them." Whatever I tell him he will find a way to make it about me. Tonight was about him; it had to be. Eli never let himself be happy around me, and as I study his face after he says he loves me too, I want to change that. This seventeen-year-old boy whose arms her around me never allowed happiness to bestow itself upon him. He smiled at my happiness, let me cry in his arms, even cried in my arms once or twice…but he never let himself be happy. He never gave that part of himself permission to come out and breathe life. Eli Goldsworthy needed love, and he needed it right now.
Eli's lips tremble slightly, causing me to stare at them almost hungrily again. Undead passion lingers behind his eyes, and I know this needs to happen soon. "You're beautiful." He whispers, lightly trailing his hand down my face and staring into my soul.
I surprise myself. We're home alone; no one is around. The world only consists of this boy right now. No curfew to worry about because my mom doesn't care anymore. She's got my baby brother to look after, and I couldn't care less about my stepbrother. Eli is confused, earning that adorable innocent look to adorn his angelic face. Behind his skin lurks a demon, he once said, but that couldn't be possible. He fought his demons. Julia was resting in peace; he now knew that. When her birthday rolled around, he got closure that night, crying that part of himself out with me right by his side. "You're beautiful, Eli. Every single part of you." He opens his mouth to protest, but I silence him. "Shh. Please don't move." I'm begging him because I know he'll never believe me. I need to show him how this feels, something I've kept inside for far too long.
I take both hands and place them on his face. His face is soft, so breakable. I trail my hand as gently as I can down his face. Eli's eyes water slightly as the fire continues to crackle in the background. He isn't used to this kind of love. To comfort him, I kiss his tears away, before quickly pulling back to get a better look at him. "Close your eyes, Eli." I murmur, deciding on giving him an early Christmas present. It's December 11, and there are two weeks until Christmas Day. Eli and I are taking a trip to a winter resort with Fiona, Imogen, Adam, and his girlfriend Tessa. I couldn't exactly show Eli what I feel for him unless it's now.
His eyes close softly, revealing the eyelids I've come to love. I lean up, moving one leg over his lap so I can straddle him. Stretching slightly, I kiss each eyelid, ghosting my lips along them like water in a gentle flowing stream. His body is warm from the fire, and I can tell as I sweetly slide his leather jacket off his shoulders. Eli's body tenses up. He's afraid…always so afraid. What he doesn't understand is that I'm taking care of him tonight. "It's okay. Just keep your eyes closed." I assure him quietly, lifting the bottom of his shirt up and feeling his slightly toned, skinny stomach. Goosebumps adorn his skin. "Trust me," Tenderly, I remove my hands from his shirt and slide back up his body. His lips are parted slightly, soft and innocent, even though they've been explored by the unworthy.
Soft, tentative breaths are leaving his lungs as he continues to lie on the couch, awaiting my actions. I gently lean my forehead on his, warning him to be still once again. His heart speeds up as I place my lips over his, tasting the sweetness that is Eli. I kiss him until I can't breathe anymore. Attaching my lips to his neck, I grab his hand and hold it with my own. I know he's desperately seeking release. I want to give it to him, and I promise to tonight.
The fire begins to fade as I wrap my arms around his waist tightly. "Open your eyes, Eli." His eyes snap open to a complete dream in his mind. He never would have expected me to do this. I stand up, offering him my hand. He takes it steadily, standing up as I lead him up the stairs. He slightly stumbles on one of the steps, and I gently wrap and arm around his waist as I lead him to his bedroom.
Once we're inside the safety of his room, the lights are dim, only mere sunlight shining through. The sun is setting on this cold winter day; I'm okay with that. Pushing him on his bed, I climb in with him. "Tonight is about you, Eli. Let me take care of you." He nods as I begin to remove my own clothes and his as well.
"My love, leave yourself behind. Beat inside me. I'll be with you…"
I don't know how many hours later, and I don't care how many, I'm sleeping beside Eli. I feel his arms around me as I dream of our future together. I'm barely holding onto reality, but that's what love is. Love is reality. Even if it hurts sometimes, it's always going to be there.
My eyes flutter open as I see his sleeping form beside me. I move his slightly sweaty bangs out of his face, kissing his forehead lightly. He doesn't wake up, so I move the covers back over us and return to my dreams.
"You gave all you had, and now I am home."
