Whatever we'd had, whatever bond we had forged, whatever memories we'd shared, however much of the person I'd become that I could trace back to him–he'd killed it, as dead as Jed and Chase.
"Bryn." That was all he said, just my name. Everything else went unspoken, evident only in his tone. From the day he'd found me until now–every interaction, every time he'd dried my tears, the times he'd been the one to make me cry. I'd loved him, and I'd hated him, and it had all been leading up to a single moment in time.
Now.
Callum turned back around. On four legs, he padded towards me. His eyes met mine. I nodded.
He leapt.
The warmth of the fire reflected onto Callum's face, but his body still felt like ice, numb. On the other side of the flickering flames lay the bandaged and not quite so bloodied body of Bronwyn Alessia St. Vincent Clare. Bryn. Bryn-girl. MY Bryn-girl. His face rearranged itself to form a grimace that only slightly resembled a sardonic grin. Alpha or not, Cedar Ridge or Stone River, human or Were, she would always be his Bryn-girl. Whether she acknowledged it or not. Whether he acknowledged it or not. A lump formed in his throat that would not dislodge. A rush of memories flooded his mind, and though he continued to stare into the flickering flames, his soul was elsewhere.
Wilson. Sora. Rabid. Two bloodied human bodies, one little girl in the cabinet under the sink. Marking her, making her his own. Giving her to Ali, who could raise her in ways he wished he could. Training, lecturing, indirect loving, preparing her for her future. All those times she looked at him with anger, frustration, and a spark of rebellion in her eyes.
Callum, the oldest and strongest werewolf in North America, had never looked old. Until now. Lines creased his expressionless face, the mask he had perfected and used over and over, for so long that sometimes he forgot that it was not his own. A certain brown-haired human girl had been his constant reminder that even Alphas could feel. She had also reminded him that what an Alpha wanted never mattered. No, if the safety of the pack overrode his own selfish desires, then so be it. But now, after everything that happened, now that he had secured a relitivly safe future for the Weres, now that he forced his limbs to attack the one he held most dear, now, with no one to hear him, Callum let go.
He gazed over at Bryn's sleeping form, and a single tear rolled down his weathered face. And just like that, the dam broke. Thirteen years worth of emotions and feelings burst from the box he had stored them in.
You give me chances and I let you down
You waited for words that I couldn't get out
I have no excuses for the way that I am
I was clueless then, I couldn't understand
Callum released a low, guttural moan, held back from when he had ordered Sora to knock Bryn senseless. Though his voice and expression remained calm, his heart cried out in anguish as he watched Sora's fist connect with his little girl's body, over and over. He felt each blow as if it were he who had lain on the ground instead. Then, during the time surrounding the trouble with Lucas, he remembered all too keenly how his bond with Bryn had really begun to separate. His shoulders shook and he took a shuddering breath, skipping to that awful, awful moment three days prior. The moment when he realized that his relationship with the strange, wonderful, stubborn, endearing human girl was beyond repair.
That all that you wanted
And all that you needed
Was a side of me I never let you see
Damn the future, Damn his knack, Damn the burdens of being Alpha!
And I wish I could love you
And make you believe it
Because that's all you ever wanted
It's all you ever wanted,
From me, from me
Callum had long before lost count of the number of times he had wanted to shed his mask, his power, and his title so that he could do what he wanted. To tell her that it would all work out for the best. To hold her tight and dry her tears. To throw himself in front of her and shield her from the bad things in life. To be the father she was missing in her life.
Could I be selfish, or Lost in my pride
Afraid to be forward or just too scared to try
And now I'm without you, And it took distance to see
That losing you, means losing everything
But every time, duty called, and the future nagged, and he was stuffed back into the Alpha costume that he had worn for so long. Oh, how he had tried! Tried to mold his Alpha state into something that allowed him to feel. He thought it had been enough, that Bryn would see. But he hadn't tried hard enough, and the last thread that connected him to her had broken. His little Bryn-girl was no longer his. Tears flowed freely down his face as Callum Shifted. He threw his head back to the heavens and howled. Raw, anguished, notes wove around a regretful melody as the Stone River Alpha mourned his loss.
When all that you wanted
And that you needed
Was a side of me I never let you see
And I wish I could love you
And make you believe it
Because that's all you ever wanted
That's all you ever wanted
From me
Callum hadn't recalled moving, but suddenly he was at Bryn's side. He lay next to her, and gently licked her cheek. She was still recovering from being Changed, and he doubted that she would be able to hear him. And so, Shifting back into human form, he cradled her head in his lap and crooned softly, desperately:
"Well is it too late
And are you too far
To turn around
And let me be, let me be
All that you wanted
And all that you needed
I'll show the side of me I never let you see
I wish I could love you
And make you believe it
Because that's all you ever wanted
That's all you ever wanted
From me."
Bryn slept on, her face peaceful for the first time in many months. Callum's heart ached to see her like this, so calm and serene and close. Perhaps sometime in the future they could re-establish a friendship, but until then... he pressed his lips to her forehead, knowing all too well that this would be the last time he did this. Voice thick with the emotion he had never allowed himself to feel, Callum finally managed what he had wanted to say for so long.
"Goodbye, Bronwyn Alessia St. Vincent Clare. I'll be watching over you, Bryn-girl. I love you. I've always had and I always will. I promise you this, my beloved daughter."
Disclaimer: Excerpt written by Jennifer Lynn Barnes. I do not own any of the characters mentioned in this fanfiction. All lyrics belong to Hunter Hayes.
AN: So, how was it? Good? Bad? Too sad? Not sad enough? Whatever you have to say, no matter how short or long it is, I'm listening! Go on. Rate, review, and ignore my unnatural fondness of Callum. I'll be fine. :')
