Alrightyy. Hello Everyone! Afew things you should know before you read this.

CAUTION: if you have not read New Moon, this will spoil it for you.

1. I own nothing, Stephanie Meyer, a literary genius, owns everything.

2..This is my 1st fan fic. If you have read New Moon, you know that we never actually got to understand what Bella was really thinking and feeling right after Sam found her alone in the forest. After she got home and talked to Charlie, it went to the pages that skipped ahead 4 or 5 months. This little page is about what happens right after Bella gets home after Sam finds her. Enjoy!

I sluggishly climbed the stairs leading to my room-the room where memories of him covered the air like a thick blanket. I shut the door and locked it at soon as I reached the door frame. I could hear Charlie calling my name from a distance, but my brain wouldn't register the words as they entered my ear drums.

My heart seemed to be beating at the speed of light; but, I couldn't feel it. Without the missing pieces of my soul there was no need for it. My mind was telling me that I was numb-I was over. I sat on my bed involuntarily. I could have been sitting there for hours; staring at the pale yellow wall of my room.

I couldn't make myself look at the small window-the window where he would climb in through every night. No. I wouldn't look at it. It would only bring hope. Hope that maybe this was all a nightmare; a nightmare that I was hoping to wake up from very soon. But all the hope was now gone. The lights had been turned off and I was left in the dark.

How could I be so naive? I knew this would happen eventually. So why was I breaking down now? As much as I repeated this in my head, it wouldn't work. Even though he didn't love me the way I loved him, I was attached to him; and I would remain attached to him until the end of eternity.

My heart was gone, no longer pumping blood throughout my body. In the middle of torso was a black hole, and all I could do was breathe. I had to keep breathing. The pain was unbearable as it burned holes into the pit of my stomach. Now, however, the slow heavy breaths became faster, and I was hyperventilating.

I slipped on the cold wooden floor, praying to god that I would pass out. When I tried to close my eyes, I saw him in the forest-the last time I would ever see him. I remembered his frozen black eyes, giving my warm body frostbite, ripping out my heart that much sooner. I remember my body giving out from underneath me as I reached out for his icy touch. I quickly flashed my eyes open. No. I couldn't go back there. I wouldn't. It hurt too much.

As excruciating as the pain felt, seeing his angleic face in my mind was my life support. I lay there on the floor for an immeasurable amount of time clutching my stomach. I began wishing that he would appear and stroke my cheek with his ice cold fingers.

Suddenly it dawned on me. I was alone, my soul had left me, and my life was over. I was waiting for no one, because no one was there for me to wait for. And that was when I started to cry. I couldn't stop; the tears felt endless as they rolled down my cheeks. My eyes became sore and my head started to ache.

As the hours passed, finally my prayers were answered and I fell into unconsciousness. When I awoke later the next day, I realized that even though I would never be the same, time was not going to slow down for me, and if I kept this up, soon enough, it would leave me behind. And in that instant I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle another thing leaving me.