Title: Immoderation
Author: Darkflameangel
Fandom: Naruto
Rating: M (this one-shot contains mature content, please dont read if it offends you).
Word Count: 2,084
Summary: Two months is a long time, but shame and sin can make it stretch far longer than the calendar can count.
Disclaimer:…I don't own it.
It's been two months since it started.
Two months of shame, lust, and sin.
This has to stop. Sakura knows it, they both know it. They've known it from the beginning, when there was just mission stress and too much alcohol but still a shred of control and they could have stopped before it was too late.
But control had slipped, and they didn't stop. And now it really was too late. It had happened again, and again, and here they are together. Again.
Sakura glances around the kitchen, the windows, and into the hall. They are alone, and she is thankful for it. Sasuke could still come home. This is dangerous, but for now they are alone.
I'm happily married. I love Sasuke. I'm happy, she tells herself.
But Sasuke is not here. He's here, with that look in his eye, and she knows that if she runs, he'll chase her. Sakura could never run though, never from him. She never could, and that much won't change.
She flutters around the kitchen, offering him coffee, juice, lemonade- anything to distract his attention from her. Anything to keep him here, drive him away; she's not sure. She can't offer herself, he'd take that and more. Kakashi has been known to fight dirty; he's lived far to long as a ninja not to.
He props his head up on his hand and levels a glance at her, eyes running up and down her body in a caress that she can feel. She feels an urge to run again, even knowing that she could never get away, but her muscles are locked and her tongue is stuck to the roof of her mouth, stopping the words there. It has to end, there can't be another time, and she still can't tell him. He ends her jumbled thoughts with another look.
She's thinking in short phrases, anything to slow her heart down, order her mind. She knows the voices in her head are hers alone, but they whisper to her. They tell her to go to him, touch him, kiss him, love him…fuck him.
Sakura wonders how the air can be so stifling. The windows are open, and the breeze comes in, but she can't breathe. He's like a blow to the chest that should have killed her, wiped her memory, but she can remember everything. She's not the kind of person who can forget, or deny what happened.
Her thoughts order themselves with a strange clarity. This didn't start with a crush or a simple fling. It shouldn't be more than that, but it is. It shouldn't still be happening, but it is. If this were simple, there would be no guilt and longing. If it were simple, he wouldn't be here in her kitchen right now.
Sakura is scared, scared of regret and eaten up by anticipation. She wants to go back, but she can't, because that just means it will happen again. It would happen again, and she would betray Sasuke again.
Sakura doesn't want to betray him again, doesn't want to drag him further into her web of lies and deceit. But he is looking at her again, his eye dark and intense and Sakura realizes that she doesn't have the power here. Maybe she never did. All the strength in the world wouldn't be able to save her now.
If she even wants to be saved.
Her shoulders slam into the kitchen cabinets, the handles digging into the soft flesh of her back as he moves towards her. She lets him lay his calloused hand on her cheek. Shedoesn't want to touch him back because then it would be easier to let the blame rest on him and never on her, even if she knows that she is just as much a part of this..
She knows by the troubled look on his face that this is just like two months ago. He knows, and if he would just look at her mouth and not her eyes that she would be able to accredit it to lust.
But his uncovered eye never leaves hers.
He leans towards her, his hot breath fanning over her face; its going to happen again and she still can't speak. Her mind screams don't…
He does.
His lips are on her neck and she shudders; her hands flying automatically to his shoulders. She can feel his lips curve into a smirk through the fabric of his mask.
He nips at the place right below her ear and she whimpers. He knows what that does, and he doesn't care. He's always been a bastard that way; twelve years of being in his team can back up that fact.
Her fingers slid into his hair to jerk him away from her neck and bring his head up so that she can meet his eyes. Sakura knows that she should stop it here, that she should tell him no, that this should all end.
But she can't. She won't.
With a short cry of frustration, longing, and a bunch of other things that she cant stop no more than she can stop this, she pulls down his mask and her lips are on his.
Sakura knows there's no stopping this now, and she cant bring herself to care as Kakashi's tongue slips into her mouth. She doesn't want this but she does, and his hands are on her breasts and she's done thinking. All Sakura knows is that there are too many clothes between her fevered skin and his.
"Sakura," he says, his voice low and ragged around the edges. Sakura closes her eyes.
And then he is pulling her hips forward into his own, one hand snaking down to dive under her skirt and between her legs, fingers curling and rubbing gently there. Breath washes over the delicate skin of her neck as Kakashi's lips burn her throat, his teeth marking her skin with small red lines.
Then for one brief breathless instant, it's as if time reverses itself, and the accumulated sins are gone. The newest mistake is an accident waiting to happen, a slate waiting to be cleaned. And even though the impact of this one time will change everything, his fingers are moving slickly against her, and her breath is coming faster and it's still wrong, and she doesn't care. She welcomes it.
Heat radiates off of him like a furnace, seeping through the layers that separated them. Sakura can feel his erection pressing against her, hard, wanting, and desiring.
Her breath escapes her throat in a hiss, his in a growl.
Kakashi's arms are the only thing keeping her from sliding down the front of the cabinets and into a boneless heap.
Her head falls back against the upper cabinets and she feels the sharp edge of a tooth graze her collarbone.
Bad. This is bad, but oh god….
"Sakura," Kakashi rumbles against her ear, and she is lost.
Then she is up on the counter with her head against the cupboards, and her shorts are on the floor lying in a sordid pile with her underwear. He is breathing hard and her fingers are jerking at his vest and shirt, pulling the dark material free from his pants.
She thought foggily that ninjas were required to wear to many clothing and that she should immediately recommend to Tsunade that they change the basic uniform.
Impatiently she slides her hands down the lines of his hips and into his pants, wanting to feel him in her hands for this one last time.
She runs one hand up Kakashi's stomach, feeling the muscles lying under his scarred pale skin jump as her fingers passed over them. He's hot, burning almost, but oh so good.
He works frantically at the zipper on her top, pulling the fabric away to reveal the layers of binding wound around her chest. His mouth moves down her chest as one hand produces a kunai. Almost faster than she can see, the knife splits her bindings down the middle, and as the cool air hits her fevered skin, she shudders beneath him.
"Yes," he growls, and Sakura wants to squeeze her legs together, press her own hands to herself and relieve the growing pressure. Desperately she rakes her fingernails down his back, as he thrusts against her, and again she wants more.
He leans away from her and she stifles a mewl of disappointment. He is a bastard, and he knows it, no need to voice an opinion that would sound more like a term of endearment at this point anyhow. Not after all this time, after all of these sins.
She needs him now. It's no less wrong, but she wants him moving against her, inside her. She unwraps her legs from around his thighs, slides them up so she can push his loosened pants down his hips with her feet, her hands sliding up and around his back to grip his shoulders. Efficient, needy, no wasted motion. Now.
"Please."
And then he is kissing her, his tongue sliding deep into her mouth as the head of his erection nudges her slick folds.
She is going to hell, but the flames there can't burn any worse than the heat pooling low in her belly as he slides in, stretching her out, filling her to the brim. As Kakashi pulls back out, Sakura collapses against him, her face buried into the crook of his neck, her hands twined in his hair.
She can't breathe, can't think with him inside her and wrapped around her. She needs this fix like any drug addict.
Kakashi drags his mouth back to hers and kisses her hard, running his tongue into every crevice of her mouth as he invades her body in a slow, silken slide. Their muscles quiver and shake, and it is too slow, not enough. No, never enough.
This is so wrong, this isn't right, this isn't what I want- but it is…Oh god, it is….it makes her feel beautiful and wanted and that is enough. For this moment and every other one, before and after.
Then he is still, deep inside of her, her eyes snapping open as he pulls out and thrusts back in, hard and deep. He thrusts again, and again, and Sakura can feel her heart breaking further and further, but she can't stop the moans of pleasure from ripping their way from her throat.
The sick pleasure that she knows she doesn't deserve burns its way down her spine, her nerves firing with the sensation as it pools between her legs. His movements stoke the flames, his fingers send them flaring higher. He doesn't stop as she collapses against the cabinets, her body convulsing around him. He draws out her pleasure as he plunders her body just as surely as a looter would a treasure trove.
He grunts into the valley of her breasts as he fills her, their bodies jerking with the force of their orgasms.
He stills inside her, sweaty brow resting on her chest as Sakura realizes that nothing has changed. They are wrapped around each other, connected in a way that they should never have let happen. It's too late again, just like it's been too late every time. She wants it.
Kakashi runs his fingers through her hair, but he makes no attempt to speak because they both know very well that what needs to be said, should have been said already. He leaves, because they both know what will happen if he stays.
Sakura has added another thread of deceit to the already thick web that she's woven, and she doesn't cry. Crying wouldn't do any good now. Crying is useless and she has no one to blame but herself. Wallowing in self pity would be easy, and she already knows there is no easy way here.
Even sharing the blame won't be easy. Sakura is angry though. Kakashi is asking her to share the blame, the sins that they created. She doesn't want to. But she will, because there will be no other way in a few months to hide it.
It will be to obvious what was said and what wasn't. But more importantly, it will be all to obvious what was done.
A/N:
Immoderation- excessive, going beyond what is healthy, moral, appropriate, or socially acceptable.
