A/N: I am surprised and shocked that nobody has- (as far as I know) wrote a Hobbit SI fic like this before. I just can't get why SI that are dumped in other universes are always so lacking. Like- why can't we go there and just kick ass?
Chapter 1: Nausea
I was going camping- a road trip in my Subaru Outback that was going to span the whole of California- the coast, the beach, Yosemite, the redwoods- and divert through Vegas (just in time for the bi-monthly pride parade*) before ending up at the grand canyon and all the way back. It would take about 3 weeks, since I was stopping so much, and I had reservations at the state camp grounds on the south rim for a week and a half. I was travelling North on the I-5 not 20 minutes after getting on the road, when I fainted while driving. Just- total blackout. There was a flash of light- a pulse that rocked my car and made me nauseas, and then nothing.
When I came to, I was in the middle of nowhere. And I mean- literally nowhere. I had no service, and I wasn't on a road. There were no tire tracks, there were no signs, no public bathrooms and literally there was just bunny hills, a few rocks and grass. No tire tracks that suggested how my car- and by association myself- had gotten there in the first place. The grass wasn't bent, so I'd probably been out quite a while, at least a few hours, though by the dry sticky feel in my mouth, probably more. It smelled- kinda like Washington. The clear air down from Alaska winds- weird, since California was mostly wind-stopping valley and therefore had a generally staleness that was mostly unnoticeable unless you'd been somewhere else for awhile, like the bay area that had no protection from ocean winds; so yeah- Weird.
I jumped into the back of my car to riffle through my survival gear in search for a compass. I'd packed in case of- anything really, since I wasn't the kind of traveller to decide what I wanted to do ahead of time. I'd folded down both of the back seats for cargo room to store all my stuff- a hiking bag, a G.O.O.D. bag **(because hey- the zombie Apocalypse could happen whenever) and everything in it, two tents (one single for backpacking and one for up to 4 people- you never know who you'll make friends with),a blow-up bed (with hand pump), a foldup chair, a cooler full of water and snackage, various camping cooking awesomeness, about 10 pounds of jerky (Just in case) and the same in Hard tack (I'm a traditionalist at heart, and that shit never went bad!), and various odds and ends that I found essential to new-age camping (like a portable shower/latrine, Swedish firesteel, a mini gas powered portable stove- a couple gallons of extra fuel on top of the reserve tank I'd had installed).
I tapped the compass and frowned. It seemed The hills around me had some heavy ore deposits of some kind, because It wasn't giving me a clear north. I sighed. I'd have to find the road somehow. I looked around for the closest tree, and grabbed my climbing equipment and some hiking shoes. There was a likely pine (don't ask me what species) off to the right so I strapped myself in and threw up a lead rope.*** When I got to the top, I saw some greener patches of land to the left and back from where it looks my car could have come from- indicating either a road, a row of houses, or a river, all of which looked likelier than the creepy gross forest to my right. I shimmied back down and packed away the equipment; I turned the key, buckled my seatbelt, and took a breath- (viciously beating back my hysteria. I was in control- I would survive whatever came- I was an independent kick-ass awesome woman and 'I got this!' huzzah! And when I found who did this to me, if at all possible without censure evidence, I'd castrate [or the female equivalent] whoever did this to me with a dull wooden spork.)
I smiled and nodded to myself. Yeah. That works. And I pulled forward towards uncertain hope.
A/N: This is short, sorry. I ran out of time at the Library. I hadn't meant to fic honestly, but I had this plot bunny just take hold of me as I was posting the newest chapter to my other story and was all like- eh; why not? You know? I'll write more when I get home.
*as far as I know, there is not actually a bi-monthly pride parade. I made that up, because it's wishful thinking. When I travel, I always miss the pride parades. It's unfair.
**A G.O.O.D. bag is made by survivalists for emergency situations. Mine is a Camel-bak type that's sturdy and has both emergency tent capabilities and a comfortable carriage distributed through the hips and across the shoulders for comfort over long areas. It has everything I need to fish/hunt/build fires as well as a nifty sleeping bag that's about a 1/4 the size of a regular sleeping bag that doesn't need folding, and a two person hammock. Also included are water purifying essentials, emergency and general first-aid, and stuff to survive a forest fire (also two weeks emergency rations).
***everything I know about climbing trees I learned from Treehouse Masters.
