" i love you, i am going to leave her i just have to wait for the right time she is pregnant with my child and i do not want to not be able to see my kid, you mean more to me then she does, it just hard right now both of you being pregnant, this double life is worn me out please understand i am doing what best for me, you, and my kids" his blue eyes looking at me and i knew if i look up i would lose it. my emotions were angry and upset and other things i knew i could not control that i could blame on mood swings. if i look into his eyes i would be weak and nod my head walk out of the hotel room and act like everything was ok when in reality everything is screwed up. i walk to my room and pack my bags everyone was already gone but for me and him and two friends that always rode with us.

the moment we get into the car i told my friend ashley to sit up front with him at the moment i could not be in front with him or even look at him. this was my fault for getting involved with a married man but he lied to me. he told me he was seperated i did not find out the truth until i found out i was pregnant. i lean against my guy friend who was in the back seat and look at me and smile and wrap his arm around me and kiss my forehead" fine i will be your pillow" i giggle and soon fall a sleep. later that night it was another raw and he was out there dealing with r-truth. i was on pregnancy leave but i did not have a home to go to so i decide just to stay on the road for a while longer and my friend said i could crash at his place with him and his daughter since he was recently seperated from his wife. then the camera goes to him getting out of the ring and walks over toward his wife and kissing her. i felt ill to my stomach. i was his dirty little secret and i knew i desreve better for my self so i walk toward the car and grab my stuff. vince had get me a rental car in case i was a lone and need to get to a hospital or whatever. i pack my stuff in the car and found the key and start the car. i grab my phone and text his second phone for me so no one would know about us.

i text : i can't be the dirty little secret anymore it just to much stress. i am having your daughter and she has your son. text me when the secret is revealed to everyone until then i guess this is good bye for now.

i put the phone in my purse and back out and head toward my friend house i knew his mom was there and i just need to get away for a while. it start snowing and it was so hard for me to see what was in front of me that everything soon goes black.