Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything affiliated with Harry Potter and am not making any money from this story (of course if anyone wants to make a donation...) all I own is the plot...so please...don't sue me.

This story will eventually contain Slash H/D...which means emotional and sexual interactions between two boys. You have been warned...any thing you do beyond this point is purely up to you.

Prologue Chapter: Getting Over It

Harry was sitting in his room at number four Privet Drive in Surrey, England. He had just finished performing what he was confident would be his last Meditational Grief Exercise (or MGE as it was called in the book).

At the start of his so-called vacation it had looked to be a lonely and gloomy few months away from his friends and forced to endure the company of his hateful and slave-driving relatives. Of course Harry was somewhat used to this and while the separation from the magical world and his friends was a little harder to bear each year, he was sort of used to it. What brought down the whole mood was the fact that Harry's Godfather, Sirius Black, was dead. When he arrived at Number Four, he didn't think he would be able to bear it, his relatives, separation from his friends, and his Godfathers death all seemed to converge on him in a plotted attempt to keep his spirits in the gutter, at least, that was how he had felt on the first day (Harry had a lot of time to think in-between chores).

On his third day at Number Four however, he received a letter/package from his friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. As Harry read the first page, which was from Ron, the happiness of hearing from his friend so soon was quickly dampened by the knowledge that Ron and Hermione would be staying at Number 12 Grimmauld place for most of the summer. Harry was jealous and depressed that he could not be there with them. The letter went on to inform him that Hermione's parents were also staying at Number 12, for their safety, and Harry smiled when he read that Ron's mother, Mrs. Weasley had become the unofficial Grimmauld Place Cook. Harry's spirits were further lightened when he read that he would be receiving some sort of great surprise for his birthday, but Ron was very vague.

Harry's fleeting good spirits soon left him though when at the end of Ron's letter he gave Harry his condolences on the passing of Sirius.

Sighing, Harry opened the second letter, from Hermione, and began to read.

Dear Harry,

All is well here and I hope that you are not feeling to terribly about Snuffles, I'm sure he would not want you to get too down about his passing. My parents as I am sure Ron has informed you, are staying with us here at Snuffles's place and are enjoying themselves immensely. My father and Mr. Weasley have hit it off splendidly, with Mr. Weasley questioning everything he can about the Muggle world and my Father likewise inquiring about the Wizarding world, they even somehow managed to get my Fathers watch to function on Magic, since it stopped ticking the second we entered the house. My Mother has also found a new friend in Mrs. Weasley, they have been trading recipes, child-rearing stories and gossip since we arrived, honestly I never knew my Mother was such a gossip! There is a surprise for you on your birthday that I cannot discuss for reasons that I am sure you understand.

I have sent along a book which I know will be very helpful for you, it helped me get over something very traumatic right before i came to Hogwarts. Please Harry I beg you to read this book and do the exercises, especially the MGE. Trust me Harry this book will help you, and after all, its something to do besides sitting around thinking dark thoughts!

We love you and all miss you

Your friend

Hermione Granger

Harry sat staring at the letter for some time after reading it, it seemed a little odd for Hermione to write a letter such as this one, and Harry was a bit annoyed at how his friend had stated statements as if he were some sort of a child in need of help. 'I shouldn't even open that package, I should just throw it away', Harry thought. He then realized the petty ridiculousness of that thought and decided to give Hermione the benefit of the doubt, after all, she was and had been a loyal and faithful friend over the years and did usually know what was best, and besides, he was curious.

So it was, Harry grabbed the package and opened it, revealing a medium sized book, obviously Muggle in origin. The title of the book was, How to Control Your Emotions and Get Over Grief by Richard Johnson.

Harry nearly threw the book away right then and there but, in the car on the way to Number Four Harry had grudgingly admitted to himself that he had maybe a small problem with dealing with his emotions over the past year and still did. This revelation came to him as he was sitting in the back seat, contemplating a way of kicking Dudley in the face and not getting in trouble after he had made an offhand remark about Harry being a freak, after Harry realized how mean this was (not that Dudley did not deserve it mind you) was when he had realized his small problem.

He opened the book and began to read, and with that, Harry started on the road to emotional recovery.

He learned much information about human emotions, learned a good deal about emotional abuse which he realized, had been happening to him as long as he could remember. Harry also learned that it was not 'wrong' or 'evil' to be gay, this was a problem that had been at the very back of his mind since his ordeal with Cho Chang. Harry was quite sure now after thinking about it, that he was, at the very least Bisexual with stronger inclinations towards boys and probably completely gay. Now with this newly found information he felt more confident in his sexuality, or at least, his awareness of his sexuality and was determined to find out from Ron and Hermione (in a suspicion-free manner of course) what the Wizarding worlds views were concerning people like him because although he did not want to get anyone else closely involved with him for fear of their life (which probably wasn't to irrational if you looked at his life for a few seconds) he was starting to feel lonely in a way that only a boyfriend could help with (and i don't mean sexually you gutter-rats! Although he felt lonely like that too) He imagined scenarios were he confessed to his friends about himself, Hermione of course would understand and most likely run out and buy all sorts of books on that and related subjects. Ron though was another story, they had never really discussed this before and Harry did not know the Wizarding worlds view on this sort of thing, he had heard rumors about same-sex couples at Hogwarts but this was whispered about in that same gossipy way as heterosexual couples so that didn't help Harry.

He read on and found exercises to test and strengthen his emotional self-control and was sure that this had also helped his ability to lie with a straight face and conceal his emotions from watching eyes. The book read that sometimes it is understandable for one to put aside their emotions to avoid embarrassment but it stressed that this was not healthy and that when this was done, ones emotions should be brought back to the surface for closer inspection. He found several very helpful exercises that allowed him to do this and after each practice Harry felt awful, but quickly learned that the awful leftover was soon replaced by a peace and lightness as the emotional weight seemed to magically float away. He memorized several easy to learn, easy to do exercises for helping with emotional stability, and learned the most helpful one, the MGE.

The MGE (Meditational Grief Exercise) was a very simple and, at first, gut wrenching exercise that allowed him, with some time, to get over Sirius's death, and in a short time as well. The MGE basically went like this. Harry was to sit or lay back somewhere comfortable and let himself breath deeply, relax and empty his mind of stress and nagging thoughts. Once this was accomplished he was to call up every memory of Sirius he had, no matter how painful, every gut wrenching reminder that he was gone and all the happy moments that would never happen again, and the awful day of his death. He was to call up all those feelings and experience them, study them, immerse himself in them and he was also to cry as much as he could manage. This process, according to the book, served two purposes. One, it helped burn the memory of the deceased into his brain, because humans have a natural tendency to forget and repress painful memories, which while it can be helpful at present, can be very saddening later on when ones grief has passed and then one realizes he cant remember much of anything about the loved-one. Second, it basically super-speeds up the grieving process by de-sensitizing the grief-stricken individual and getting them used to the fact that the loved one is gone. Harry suspected it did much more than that though.

Harry would never be able to thank Hermione for the help she had given him through this book and was planning to smother her with love and hugs when he saw her again. He felt that thanking her through a letter would not be enough. Also, he was going to ask her why a ten-year old Hermione would need this book. The book did help explain Hermione's great composure though.

Harry was sitting in his room at number four Privet Drive in Surrey, England. He had just finished performing what he was confident would be his last Meditational Grief Exercise (or MGE as it was called in the book). It was the night before his birthday, a Friday and he was in good spirits. His relatives, perhaps finally noticing that something magical always happened around Harry's birthday, had left him alone to go on a weekend-long vacation. Harsh threats had been given to Harry of course if anything 'funny' were to happen, and Mrs. Fig would be checking in on him periodically, but Harry didn't mind, he had the house to himself and he would be sixteen in a few minutes. He had gotten over Sirius's death, gained an amazingly better control over his-self and his emotions and would soon be receiving sweets from the Weasley's. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

He watched the clock on his night-table slowly tick over to midnight.

And suddenly he felt a tingling and turned into...SUPER HARRY!...an amazingly strong magical being so magically magical and powerfully powerful that if he picked some dirt from behind his ears and threw it at Voldemort, the baddie would instantly VAPORIZE! YAYYYY Super-Harry!

...Just kidding!

Harry grinned at the thought of being another year older and looked at his window, waiting eagerly for some sweets, he hadn't had anything sweet (unless you called grapefruit sweet) since he arrived at Number Four and he was jonesing badly.

After a few minutes of staring at the window with a slight smile on his face Harry decided to get out and finish his History of Magic homework that he had been working on intermittently since school let out. This took him about a half-hour and when he was done he was slightly puzzled because usually at least one owl bearing a gift arrived right after midnight, at least that's how it had always been, but maybe the fact that his friends were at Grimmauld place had something to do with that.

Harry was in the process of getting up to put away his homework, when a large 'crack!' resounded throughout the room, startling him and causing him to trip an fall flat on his butt. Harry's face flushed slightly with embarrassment when he got up and saw Nymphadora Tonks beaming at him.

"Hello Harry!", the green headed witch greeted him. She was dressed in flamboyantly light-blue robes as well as 'wearing' long flowing locks of bright lime-green.

"How are things Harry?" She said walking over to him and giving him a brief hug.

"Things are great actually" He grinned at the brightly colored metamorphmagus. She seemed surprised at his answer and asked, "Really? You sure Harry?"

Harry chuckled at he surprise and answered, "I'm sure, 'mione sent me this great book all about emotions and now i feel fine about Snuffles's passing, and am in much better control of my emotions."

Tonks seemed delighted and slightly impressed, she congratulated him on his newfound emotional stability and then told him that she was to take him to Grimmauld Place. Harry was ecstatic at being able to leave the Dursleys and did not say anything more but simply threw his homework into his trunk, gathered up his things, and announced his readyness to depart (Hedwig was staying with the Weasley's, and was presumably at Grimmauld Place).

"But...Tonks? How are we getting there?" He asked, noting the lack of a 'guard'. In response, Tonks pulled out an old-looking sock and offered the ankle part for Harry to hold. "Portkey" She said simply, smiling at the young wizard. Harry grabbed hold of his things (broom and trunk) with one hand, and took hold of the sock with the other. Harry grinned at the witch and asked, "So when is this thing set to go?" Tonks grinned deviously and then took on a slightly shy yet nonchalant look and said, "Oh anytime really, I just have to say...Portify!" And they were off.


And so ends my slightly short first-chapter...it has drained me of my strength...I had to get all that depressing Sirius stuff out of the way though...so that following chapters could be more enjoyable.

Please remember that this is the FIRST chapter of my FIRST story...please...be gentle...but feel free to point out any mistakes at all...be it the spelling...grammar...plot...OOCness...or anything.

Now with regards to character speech...err...well i don't know how to do it...heheh...i don't know the rules of how your supposed to use quotation marks (" ")...is there supposed to be a comma afterwards?..a capital letter?...every new speech on a different line?...please someone review and tell me how that's supposed to work...and maybe point me to a website..or something..because i would really like to have a good amount of dialogue in my story.

and know dear reader...that if you review i will...cut out your enemies heart and mail it to you!...please review?

PS. 'Jonesing' is another way of saying 'craving' its like when a real cigarette addict hasn't had one in a while and he really wants a cigarette...he would be 'jonesing' for one.